Chapter 12

Joanna

 

 

What the fuck was I doing?

In a matter of hours, I had escaped an abusive boyfriend who was already trying to figure out where I had gone by calling my parents. I’d gone from living a life full of fear and anxiety to standing in front of Bastian Burke in his log mansion outside Park City.

My wine-muddled brain didn’t know how to comprehend the past few hours. Even the last few years of my life seemed like they were scribbled in a foreign language. I had no clue how the hell I had ended up in the situation I was currently in.

Yet staring down at Bastian with lust reflecting in his eyes, it felt natural to want this. I wanted to feel the strength of Bastian’s body against mine. I wanted those arms wrapped around my waist as he went at me with everything he had. I wanted to feel fucking good for the first time in years.

Standing in front of Bastian, I felt something stir deep within me. I didn’t care right there and then if I was playing with fire by trying to seduce my boss, my protector in so many ways. I wanted him. I had wanted him since the day he had hired me on the spot to be one of his assistants.

“What sort of challenge are you imposing on me?” Bastian asked, his voice a low and husky murmur.

I held out a hand for him to take. He grabbed ahold of my hand, and his strong fingers brushed along my palm. My stomach churned nervously as I pulled him up to his feet before leading him out of the kitchen. We walked along the hallway together, and I felt the tension radiating off Bastian in waves.

Once we reached the living room, I motioned for him to take a seat near the fireplace that was crackling happily. Bastian took a seat gingerly while his dark eyes studied my face intently for a clue as to what I was planning to do.

“Just sit back,” I said. “Relax. Enjoy.”

“This is crossing a lot of lines,” Bastian said in a warning voice. “Think about it, Joanna. I don’t know what you have planned here, but it might not be a smart idea right now with the two of us drinking.”

I paid little heed to his reasoning. For once, I wanted to do something impulsive that made me feel good. I didn’t care what Bastian said. I could see the partial bulge in his pants as he shifted in the chair again. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

“This is going to be my gift of thanks to you,” I replied, pretending to be braver than I actually felt. Inside, I was trembling like a leaf with nerves as Bastian’s eyes darkened even more. “You’ve done so much for me, and I know what I’m doing. I swear to you that I do, so let me just show you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“Joanna—”

“Hush,” I whispered, reaching for the top button of my blouse. “You don’t have to a say a word, Bastian. Just watch.”

He clicked his mouth shut while his eyes flicked down to where my fingers were slowly working the buttons loose on my blouse. I swallowed the nerves lingering in the back of my throat as I felt the fabric part to reveal a glimpse of my belly and the valley of my breasts. Thankful that I had thought to wear something lacey, I slowly shrugged out of my blouse to let the fabric drop down to the floor near my feet.

Bastian swallowed thickly. His eyes roved over the exposed skin, and he gripped the arms of the chair in what appeared to be an attempt to keep himself still. A part of me wished he wouldn’t hold back while another part of me relished in having this type of control over someone. The bulge in his pants grew even more.

I reached down with trembling fingers to undo my belt buckle. The fabric of my jeans loosened around my waist. I undid the zipper next, and with some effort, I managed to sensually shrug out of the skintight fabric without making a fool out of myself. I turned slowly in a small circle to give Bastian an ample view of my ass. I could feel his eyes threatening to burn trails across my skin. I heard the intake of a sharp breath as well, an indication that so far, he liked it.

I can’t believe I’m doing this, stripping naked for Bastian Burke. My boss.

The thought made me giddy, but I had a feeling the wine had more to do with my lack of inhibitions than the effect Bastian had over me. I had imagined doing something like this for a very long time just to feel sexy and wanted from a man like him.

An ache throbbed between my legs as I reached back for my bra clasp and tossed the garment down to the floor. My nipples were hard, longing for Bastian’s touch. I turned slowly with my forearm covering myself while I looked over at Bastian, who sat rigidly in the chair next to the fire. A vein throbbed on Bastian’s forehead as he clenched his jaw. His eyes were focused on where my arm covered up my breasts.

I lifted my arm promptly. A groan escaped Bastian’s lips.

“Fuck,” he whispered, shaking his head at me. “What are you trying to do to me, Joanna?”

“Nothing that you wouldn’t enjoy,” I replied, and his eyes visibly widened at that. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck no,” came the hasty answer that made me smile. “I just don’t want you do something you are going to regret tomorrow.”

“What do you think I am going to regret?” I asked as seductively as possible.

I approached with small steps while I watched Bastian wrestle with his own emotions and thoughts. He pressed himself back into the chair when I stood directly in front of him.

“This entire thing,” Bastian choked out. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you.”

“You saved my life,” I said simply. “I don’t think you have it in you to take advantage of anyone.”

“You’d be surprised by how fucked up I can be,” he said. “I’m honestly no better than your ex-boyfriend, Joanna. I know you think I’m not like him, but we could spend hours talking about the fucked-up things I’ve done to women over the years.”

I shook away that confession because of the haze of wine and lust penetrating through the very core of me. Reaching down, I grabbed ahold of Bastian’s hand that was clenching the end of the armrest. I pulled it up and forward to let his fingertips skim along my right breast and nipple. Heat shot through me at the sensation of his fingertips teasing my sensitive skin there. Bastian’s hand twitched violently in response to it.

Feeling even bolder, I reached down with my free hand to grab the hemline of my panties. I didn’t care how brash and stupid this was. But Bastian jerked back from me to grab ahold of my wrist and stop my hand.

“Joanna,” he whispered harshly. “Stop it, okay? You’re going to regret this tomorrow morning because you’re drunk. This isn’t how it’s going to go down between you and me.”

I tugged my hand away from his strong fingers. “I’m well aware of what I’m doing, Bastian. I’m not that drunk.”

Bastian sidestepped me to grab a blanket from the couch. He draped it across my shoulders with a troubled frown spreading across his face and then took a step back from me.

“You’ve never been like this before,” he said. “It’s not right. I know you’re too vulnerable from what has been going on with you. I can’t do that to you, okay?”

Tears filled my eyes much to my horror. I twisted sharply on my bare feet to gather my clothes from the floor and hold them tightly against my stomach. I knew he was right, even if a part of me didn’t want to admit it. I was rushing forward blindly to the first thing that made me feel good. It didn’t make it necessarily right, even though I was confident now that Bastian held the same attraction for me as I did for him.

“Hey,” Bastian said softly. “Don’t get upset, okay?”

“I’m not upset. I’m…” Embarrassed. Humiliated. Horrified. I sucked in a deep and calming breath despite how fuzzy my body felt to be standing naked next to Bastian. “I normally never do this sort of thing. I swear to you. I don’t know what is going on with me.”

“You’ve been through a lot. I know who you are, Joanna. You don’t ever have to worry about me questioning the type of woman you are.”

I laughed humorlessly at that. “What sort of woman am I?”

“You’re beautiful for starters.” My heart skipped to hear that coming from Bastian’s lips, but I didn’t dare turn around. I could feel him standing right behind me. “You’re very smart at whatever you set your mind to. You care about every single person you have in your life. It doesn’t matter who it is; you always try to make sure they are happy. I don’t know many people who are like that.”

“It’s called being a people pleaser,” I remarked, but a smile spread across my face. “It’s gotten me into trouble numerous times, but thank you for all that. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

I clutched the blanket around me tightly as I turned to look up at Bastian’s amused eyes. He cupped both of my cheeks tenderly before pressing a warm kiss to the top of my forehead. My stomach fluttered at the sweet gesture.

“I’m a man.” He chuckled deeply. “Do you think I was going to fight against a striptease? Get real now, Jo.”

I giggled even though a part of me felt titillated that he had given into temptation for a moment to look at my naked body. He had been aroused, too. Very aroused.

“Go upstairs,” Bastian said. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning. Okay? I have to make sure the fire is good to go throughout the night.”

“All right. Good night.”

“Sleep well.”

I left Bastian standing in front of the fireplace while I walked up the large staircase in the direction of the guest room. The air upstairs was a bit nippier than in the hot living room, but I imagined the temperature of my skin had nothing do with the fire. It had everything to do with Bastian.

I let the blanket drop from around my shoulders as soon as I was locked inside my room. Out of habit, I checked my phone for messages before setting it back down on the bedside table. No more reason to check. I didn’t have to worry about Sid wondering where I was or having to answer to him.

I pulled the sheets back on the bed to burrow deeply inside them after turning off all the lights. The ache in between my legs didn’t ease up. I half-listened to Bastian move about downstairs with a small bit of hope that he would come up to keep it going. Shaking that away, I reached down to feel the wetness between my thighs on my fingertips. I let my head sink back into the pillow while pleasure washed over me under the steady rhythm of my fingers. I imagined Bastian sitting in that chair next to the fireplace with shadows dancing across his face.

I trembled in the aftermath of my peak before I rolled back over to stare out at the wintery night through the small window across from the bed. I fell into a deep sleep before I could think about anything else.