What day was it? W-what time was it?

I looked at my watch. I couldn’t read the hands – my vision was a little blurry. I whipped out my phone and tried to make sense of the time and date. Hmm… holy shit, it was three o’clock in the morning? Was that right?

Just how drunk was I? I looked around and tried to remember where the fuck I was. It took me a good five minutes – maybe fifteen, now that I really think about it – to realize I was in some slump of a bar. It was a real ugly dump that smelled of vomit and cheap beer. Why the hell was I here instead of Mercury Wild?

Then I saw a girl leaning on my side. Who was she? She was unconscious and snored like an elephant. She smelled of alcohol and cum. Wait, was she the reason I was here? Did I hook up with a cheap whore here?

At the moment I was so confused. My head was spinning with a splitting headache and I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I scoured through my phone again to see if I could recall anything about the hours leading up to this moment.

No, it wasn’t just hours. It was weeks. Even as I browsed through my phone I knew, deep inside, the exact reason I was here. Cherry was the sole reason of my misery.

Well, it was my fault. I pushed her away.

It had been seven weeks – or was it eight – since we last spoke. I stormed into my home office and she… signed the final document and then left. She never said goodbye and neither did she ever bother me again via text message or online. She just stopped messaging me entirely. It was like she never existed. It was like we never had a thing going.

Letting Cherry go was the dumbest thing I had ever done in my life. That one truly took the cake. She was beautiful, hard-working and smart . She was reliable and she was always such a sweet talker. She loved to hug, loved to kiss and at times she loved to just whisper sweet nonsense into my ear just to make me want to make love with her all over again.

“Make love,” I whispered when I realized I just thought of those words instead of something raw like fuck. Maybe she was getting into my head too much.

During the past three weeks, I had nothing to do but work. Every day I would check online or stare at my phone hoping I would receive a message from her but nothing came.

The only time I ever got something didn’t even come from her – it was an email from her father thanking me for the business deal. I only replied to Joel Vergara out of courtesy. There was one time when I was so desperate to talk to Cherry I was tempted to tell Joel the truth. Maybe he should know that I was dating and sleeping with his daughter.

“That’s just stupid,” I pointed out to myself. I then looked at the girl beside me and tried to make some sense out of the stupidity I got myself into.

She was young, maybe around Cherry’s age or even younger, with blonde hair and a lithe little body. She was sexy but also very obviously a whore. I wasn’t sure if her last fuck was with me or someone else. Now I was getting disgusted with her and I wanted to get the heck away from her.

Carefully and slowly, I moved my arm out of her embrace. “Sorry girl,” I whispered softly. “I just don’t want to get in trouble. I bet you were really good in the sack but it’s not a good time for me.”

“Huh?” the girl asked blankly when I tried to push out of the way. She then got up a bit and looked at me, “H-hey, you said you were going to take me to your big mansion by the beach.”

Wait, did I? Did she even know who I was?

“Do you even know who I am?” I asked her.

“Y-yeah, Marvin, right? Was it Martin?” she was rambling off utter nonsense now. “No, wait, I got it – your name’s freaking Jerry. I knew it. You look like a Jerry to me.”

“Dylan,” I rolled my eyes. “You weren’t even close.”

“I said Dylan,” she mumbled but even then her eyes were beginning to shut as the drowsiness was once again taking over her mind. Maybe it was the alcohol too or both. “I… I uh, yeah. Who the fuck cares? You don’t even know my name.”

Well, she was right about that. No one cared. What I knew was that I had to get the fuck out of here. But I didn’t even know where here was.

I looked around again but all I could see left in the bar were folks like me – drunk and fucked up beyond all recognition. There was no one here to tell me where I was or what I was doing here other than getting shit-faced drunk.

I didn’t even know how I met the girl leaning on me. I hoped we didn’t have sex because I had no intention of having sex with her. This girl had a figure but I needed more than that. I needed someone who brought life to the bed. Someone like Cherry.

Oh Sweet Cherry. The sound of her moans alone was enough to get me hard and anxious. I could imagine just how sweet it was to spread her cute little legs just to get another lick at her pussy before I’d give it a slap and then thrust my cock deep into her hole. The way her body would tighten and rock along with the rhythm of my thrusts was like the greatest musical piece I’d ever been a part of.

Once I got rid of both the whore and my imagination I got up, headed over to the bartender and paid the rest of my tab. Somehow my bill got over a hundred bucks but I wasn’t keen on checking if the guy was lying or not. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

No… the truth was, I wanted Cherry. I wanted to feel her in my arms again. I didn’t know if I loved her. That would be improbable but I did know I was attached to her. I had gotten used to her being around me. I had gotten used to the fragrance of her perfume, the taste of her skin and the sound of her moans at night.

Outside the air was so crisp and cold I could feel it bite underneath my skin. My shirt was so thin I could feel the wind brush my skin with even the lightest breeze.

That was when I noticed it was already beginning to snow. It was a gentle fall and the roads were still free of ice. The parking lot was only lightly covered in sheets of white.

“Where the heck did I park?” I asked out loud as I scouted the area. Where the hell was my car? Did I even drive my way here? Everything was still so fuzzy in my head.

In cold nights like this Cherry would snuggle up to me. I would feel her tits press up against my muscles and her warm body would snug in tight and fit with mine. It was like we were two pieces to a puzzle – a perfect fit.

I missed her.

I wanted her. I shook my head in regret but even then I knew the chances of getting back with her were slim. I threw her out. I flat-out told her that I didn’t care and that all I wanted was her body for sex and companionship. I was a fucking asshole.

That was such a stupid thing for me to do. I had a girl, one so precious I’d never find one like her again, and I let her go.

By the time I found my car, I was shivering violently from the cold. I needed a jacket. Maybe I had one but I left it in the bar. Everything was just a wild blur right now and all I wanted was to get home and then bring Cherry back. Both of those goals seemed so distant and improbable right now.

“Keys, keys, where the fuck are my keys?” I mumbled and grumbled as I patted my pockets. Eventually, I found my car keys in my back pocket along with my wallet. Well, at least I still had my stuff. Nobody robbed me just yet.

I unlocked the door, got in and turned on the heater as soon as I got the car running. It felt so damn good so I took a moment to lean back and relax. My head was splitting and the only image I could complete in my mind was that of Cherry.

Why did I freaking miss her this much?

It’d been the same story for weeks now. There were days where I’d get so drunk thinking about her that I’d end up in a mess like this. Here I was again, not even sure where I was. What side of town was this anyway?

After a few minutes, I took my phone out and looked for a GPS map app. With its aid, I finally discovered that I was a few miles out of the city limits. How in the world did I get this far?

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now.

Frustrated with my loneliness and the cold, I started to drive out. As I drove the music playing on the radio seemed to only infuriate me more. It was all love songs and breakup songs. I was having enough of this nonsense.

I stepped on the pedal and spun the wheel, deciding to just head back to the office and bury myself in work. Work was the only thing that could console me now.

The visibility was terrible. It almost seemed like there were no lights. Well, at least I didn’t see them. Maybe it was the ice and snow or maybe it was just the blinding fury in my head.

I was deep in my thoughts amidst the poor visibility when I was snapped back into reality by full headlights and a loud horn being blasted from the vehicle coming straight towards mine.

No amount of steering away or emergency brakes could rescue me from the reality that this was my life flashing right before my eyes. All I could think about was Cherry. I wish I could make things different before I leave for good. But I guess that wasn’t for me to decide.