Chapter Nine
From the texts of Tanner Nowicki
and Alexei Petrov
Petrov: Hey, my housecleaner is here. Should I have her put fresh sheets on the bed in the pool house before she leaves?
Nowicki: No thanks, man. I appreciate the offer, but I have to stay here and take care of Wanda. She’s got some aggression issues I need to get under control before they get any worse.
Petrov: I have a good method for dealing with pig aggression…
Nowicki: Don’t even start. This pig is a friend, not food.
Petrov: Do your best to remember the other female in your house is just a friend, too. Though I confess I don’t have much hope for you.
Nowicki: Oh yeah, why’s that?
Petrov: The titanium plate on my collarbone is aching.
It knows when there’s trouble on the horizon.
Nowicki: That’s kind of superstitious, don’t you think?
Petrov: I’m Russian. We understand the importance of omens. Your destiny is only partially under your control, rookie. That’s why it’s important to make wise choices and to remove temptation from your path whenever possible.
Are you sure you don’t want to come crash at the pool house?
I’ll let you bring your pig if you need something to snuggle with at night.
Nowicki: That’s very generous.
Petrov: Yeah, well, you play a solid two-way game.
I’d like you to stick around for a while, and that’s more likely to happen if the team captain isn’t out for your blood.
Nowicki: Understood. I’ve got this under control. No worries.
Petrov: Right, and like my grandmother says—your elbow seems close to your mouth, but you can’t bite it.
Nowicki: What?
Petrov: Some things seem easy when they are, in fact, impossible.
Nowicki: Thanks for the pep talk.
Petrov: Any time. And I’ll have Georgina change those sheets, just in case.