CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Each of the old steps on our front porch creak as I land on them in my hurried attempt into the house. I skip a few, using the wooden handrail to pull myself higher.
I spent the few short blocks of my walk in complete introspection unlike anything I’ve ever done. Even more than the semester I took an Intro to Psychology class, and the professor made us spend an entire unit analyzing our childhood. I had quite a few issues to work through, if you hadn’t guessed.
But today is different.
Today all of that self-help mumbo-jumbo worked. I’ve spent the last twenty-four years promising myself it didn’t matter or bother me that my father didn’t want me. But that was all a lie because this afternoon I do feel great.
Splendid.
The best I’ve ever felt my entire life.
My father is an asshole.
Like a huge self-centered manipulating, delusional, asshole. There is no other way to describe him.
And that’s not my fault.
I wasn’t needy or ugly as a baby. I didn’t have the wrong blood flowing through my veins. It wasn’t me who didn’t live up to his standards. It had nothing to do with me.
My father is an ass.
I shrug, stopping at the front door even though no one can see me. I’m not going to waste any more of my precious time worried about it. Today I’ve lost an entire extra person made from self-doubt and anger.
I’m ready to live.
After I have a chat with Grant, that is.
The heavy wooden front door bangs on the wall as I shove it open. A piece of paint flakes off and floats to the ground reminding me I want to ask our landlord if Drew can repaint it before the summer ends.
My tummy clenches in anticipation, but I soldier on. This conversation can either go very well or very badly but either way Grant and I will figure out our issues today.
Right now.
“Honey, I’m home!” I call the word out to the open expanse but no one responds. The first floor is eerily quiet for six p.m. on a Wednesday night.
Just like any good San Francisco resident I brought a jacket with me this morning but didn’t need it on the way home. I throw the fleece over the back of a dining room chair and my eye catches on a folded up newspaper placed on the edge of the table.
We don’t subscribe to the newspaper, but there it sits with a bright green Post-it note stuck to the front. I lean over to get a better look and read the note hastily scratched in black pen.
Saw this and had to pick up a copy. Thought you’d be interested. ~ Drew
I rip off the Post-it note to see a picture of the Del Fray warehouse underneath. On top of the picture a bold headline states, “Local businessman saves community jobs.” I quickly read through the short front-page article detailing Grant’s family business, which recently purchased the plant and has decided to keep the jobs at a local level. The write-up makes Grant sound like this magnanimous man who out of the kindness of his heart decided to save jobs rather than ship them overseas. For a second I bristle at the way the article has been written like we all owe him something, but then I realize we do.
Grant could have easily brushed it aside and moved his jobs overseas like the original plan. But he didn’t. I don’t know how he pulled it off or what made him change his mind, but he did. And in doing so he helped out more people than he realizes. The family-owned mom-and-pop diners who provide lunch to the people who worked in the factory, Travis can stay in school and finish his education, the product supplies the factories uses. The trickle-down effect of his choices will help people beyond the hundred or so jobs he saved today.
I snatch the paper off the table and run upstairs, the old steps groaning. Grant’s bedroom door is closed but I don’t let it stop me. The door swings open and Grant sits up in bed obviously caught off guard. At first I worry I caught him doing something bad for real this time, but he’s fully clothed with a phone to his ear.
I hold the paper to my chest and mouth the words, “Is this true?”
Grant nods his head at me his eyebrows pushed together, but a smile forms on his face. “Yes,” I assume he’s talking to me until the sentence continues, “I can be there tomorrow, Finn, but my night just got a little busy.”
My heart beats and grows with each passing second until I resemble the Grinch, whose heart grew three sizes in a matter of minutes. The bullshit we’ve been dealing with for the last two weeks doesn’t matter anymore. I have a shitty dad, a mom in jail, and enough emotional baggage to fill a 747, but for whatever reason the man in front of me still likes me. Half the time I don’t even like myself, yet Grant does. We couldn’t be a more mismatched pair, but we work. For weird unknown reasons our pieces click together.
Grant does not have time to talk on the phone with Finn while I am having an emotional breakthrough. You can’t pay for this kind of therapy. Jumping on the bed I push him down and straddle his hips. The paper crinkles in one hand while I use the other one to grab the phone from him.
“He’ll call you back, Finn,” I say hitting the red button on his smart phone and tossing it on the nightstand beside his bed. It bounces off and clatters to the floor.
Grant tries to sit up. “Hey…”
I shrug. He’s rich. He can afford another one if it’s broken.
“Shhh. This is more important.” I hold the paper again a few inches from his face, probably too close to read the headline. “Is this true?”
“Yes.”
The paper falls to the floor. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Grant rises up again but all he manages is to prop his upper body up with his elbows. “I wanted to wait until everything was finalized and that technically won’t happen until tomorrow morning. The paper jumped the gun.”
I lean down and smash my lips against his until he opens to take a breath and I stick my tongue against his. There’s nothing sweet about this kiss. It’s sloppy and wet and ours. My hands run through his hair at the back of his head and I hold him as close as possible. When I pull away my entire body tingles and I can’t stop smiling while I try to catch a breath of air.
“You’re the most amazing person in the entire world.” I unbutton the bottom two buttons of my polo shirt trying for seductive, but it’s two buttons… on a polo shirt, so I’m not overly effective. Giving up I pull on the hem and bring the shirt over my head tossing it on the floor until I’m sitting on top of him in a black lacy bra. My underwear definitely does not match. It’s not exactly how I thought my first day back to work after being sick would go, but I’m hoping Grant won’t notice. My boobs in his face are a good distraction.
“Well thank you.” Grant’s face reddens with the compliment. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I wiggle my hips on him and grind down a little. “Well, prepare to hear a lot more of them.”
“Maybe we should talk first.”
Talk first? Is he delusional? We’re having sex first. I reach my hands underneath his shirt and lightly score my fingernails down his bare chest. “Are you sure about that?”
He moans as his chest tightens with the contact. “No…”
“That’s what I thought. Sex first then talk.” I haven’t allowed myself to think this was possible ever again. My vagina was ready for a long period of inactivity. Now with the door reopening she’s ready to go.
Grant laughs letting his head fall back on a pillow. His arms reach up each one cupping a side of my face. “Like I’m going to say no to you naked.”
He pulls my head down. His tongue follows the seam of my lips until he pushes through, but I’m not ready for that yet. I want to have a little fun. I push off his shoulder until I’m straddling him our bodies in a T-shaped. Reaching behind me, I tug off my bra, sliding it down my arms, and drop it on the floor. Both my hands slide down my rib cage until I grab each breast and move my hands closer, smooshing them together. I reach out and pinch both nipples watching Grant salivate. The contact races through my body… and Grant’s, from the jerk of his hips.
“Holy shit watching you touch yourself was totally worth all the work I did over the last two weeks.” Grant’s tongue darts out of his mouth and wets his upper lip. “Let me taste.”
I shake my head. “Not yet.” If I let him play, I’ll lose control of the situation and I rather like being in control. “I want it fast and dirty.”
“I like fast and dirty,” he says. His legs raise until he pushes my body further up his chest. “But trust me I can fuck you fast and dirty while getting a lick in too.”
He pulls my body down until I’m forced to reach a hand out to the headboard, bracing myself while he sticks his face in between my breasts. Grant licks a nipple and sucks hard, and I moan against the back of my hand.
With two pant buttons undone Grant lowers my zipper slipping two fingers underneath my underwear. He rubs small slow circles as I grind against him on the bed until I’ve completely lost control of the situation. The tension taking over my body does not give a shit. He can have the control.
Grant must feel it too because he flips me over, my back landing on the mattress and his rumpled sheets. He stands, stopping to lean on the edge of the bed, and in one hard fluid movement pulls my jeans and underwear off my legs, throwing them behind him. His pants go next, coming off so fast I don’t have time to spot a glance at his boxers. He’s across the room in another second or two. The lock on the bedroom door clicks and he stalks to the bed with a stupid grin plastered across his face. “This will probably be loud.”
I said I wanted it hard and fast, but seeing the way he looks at me my body clenches in anticipation for what’s to come. He reaches the edge of the bed and pushes my knees apart exposing my core to the cool air in the room. Two fingers slide around my folds before he inserts them into my ready pussy. “I love that you are so wet for me. Flip over.”
Without a question I do as he demands and roll over, coming up on my knees and hands and positioning myself for him. Grant starts at my ass and trails a hand up my back until he pushes my shoulder down so my head is braced on the pillow and my ass is in the air waiting for him.
“Hard and fast, right?” he confirms.
My head nods, but with being pressed against the pillow the movement is difficult to see so I respond yes as well. It’s not how I imagined it when I walked in this room, but as long as his cock is in me within the next few seconds I don’t care anymore. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything more in my life.
He doesn’t waste time before the head of his thick cock pushes past my outer folds. It’s been weeks since the last time we were together like this, and the girth of his hard dick stretches me in this position.
I moan into the pillow as Grant moves in and out, his slow pace picking up with each thrust. When his eyes close and he tilts his head back to the ceiling, his left hand reaches around holding my hips against him and playing with my clit. The wide circles he draws slowly become rhythmic in fashion.
My body tightens around him, his thrusts coming faster and faster until the headboard hits the wall and I moan louder. Using it to his advantage Grant pushes his fingers in my mouth.
“Suck.”
I do, wrapping my tongue around his thick fingers. He pulls them out with a pop and his hand runs along my backside stopping when he circles them around my ass. I squeeze worried over what he plans to do when he pushes the tip of one finger in.
“Don’t worry, Clare. I’m gonna take care of you.”
“But…” My protest becomes a moan as he pushes further in stopping at the first knuckle.
I’ve never felt so full and Grant somehow thrusts into me harder. “You said you wanted dirty.”
My eyes close as the orgasm rips from my body unexpectedly. I scream into the pillow as every body part tightens. Muscles I’ve never used before constrict. Grant continues to fuck me as hard as possible until every nerve ending is oversensitive to the point of pain.
Just as I’m about to tell him to stop because I can’t take any more he stills, his body making tiny little jumps against me. His hand stops rubbing against me and he pulls out a little allowing me to collapse on the bed now no longer held up by Grant. I lie motionless for a few seconds until his body flops down beside me, each of us gasping to catch our breath.
“Holy shit,” I say into the pillow.
Grant chuckles. “Was that fast and dirty enough for you?”
“Yes,” I say rolling over to look up at the ceiling. I gather up the crumpled bedsheets pulling them high over my body to cover myself. The “I just had sex” nerves have started and I need to cover up.
“Good, because I need at least fifteen minutes before we do anything again.”
**
The fluttering of Grant’s fingertips while he traces a circle with the lightest touch starts against my shoulder and I reach over and bat the hand away.
“Has it been fifteen minutes already?” I ask.
Grant laughs. “It’s been longer than that. Open your eyes.”
I listen. Again, not sure when I became obedient. It’s rather annoying and I hope it’s an after sex thing and not a permanent change. The room is no longer bathed in the evening light, but is dark. Shadows cast against the walls.
“We fell asleep?”
“Yes, I did watch you sleep for at least the past twenty minutes,” he says.
I tilt my head in his direction and give him a wary look. “That’s weird.”
He laughs, this time lighthearted. “We had sex for the first time in weeks and you let me stick it in your butt. I’m in awe.”
I reach out and smack the side of his arm. “I did not let you stick it in my butt. It was just a finger. A finger doesn’t count.”
“It was practice.” Grant reaches over and grabs my leg putting it over his. With his head dipped he laps at my exposed nipple.
“I thought we talked during this part.”
“I’m really busy. Important work. You talk and I’ll listen,” he mumbles.
“That’s not how it works.”
“It is if you let it.”
“Grant.” My frustration grows. I need to hear him say the words and promise me we’re okay. Give me proof I didn’t waste my chance with him.
He sighs. “Fine, but I liked that angle from earlier so let’s talk with you like that.” He pulls me further to my side until I’m over top of him straddling him like how this started out.
“This is not the best way to have a serious conversation,” I say but with a laugh.
“I disagree. From now on important conversations in our relationship happen like this.”
“In our relationship? So we’re doing this relationship again?”
Grant shakes his head at me. “Clare, we didn’t break up.”
“Ummm, yes we did.” Does he not remember that?
“No, that was a spat.”
“That was not a spat.” We most definitely broke up.
He shakes his head and pulls it up for a quick kiss. “There’s something you don’t understand. You are the girl for me. I knew it from the moment I first saw you. Granted I fucked it all up by taking you back to my hotel room. I should’ve wooed you. Expensive lunches or any of the shit I advised the guys to do last year.” He takes a deep breath, staring me in the eyes. “But I saw you and got lost. I knew you were the one person I’d spend the rest of my life loving. I didn’t stop to think you weren’t aware I’d found my soulmate.”
My eyes water and I open them wide to stop any tears from forming. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely. You spend all day taking care of everyone else. I’ll spend the rest of my nights taking care of you.”
“Shut up.” I reach up and run a finger under one eye no longer trying to pretend his words don’t affect me.
Grant laughs and pulls me down for another sweet kiss, this one lingering longer than the last. “It’s the truth.”
“You kept the factory for me.” I don’t go over all the other repercussions that decision had for him. Breaking a lifelong friendship with my father’s family, losing whatever profits they planned to make, and probably pissing off half his family, but they linger in the air between us the same.
“I did this time. And I promise in the future I’ll spend more time thinking about who my actions hurt, but you have to understand I was able to save this factory this time. That won’t always be the case.”
I nod my head in agreement. And I mean it. I’ve learned enough about Grant to see the type of guy he is. If he says he’ll do his best in the future, I believe him.
“I can’t make any promises when it comes to that, but I can promise I will love you every single day for the rest of my life.”
“You love me?”
“I can’t believe after everything we’ve been through you even have to ask.” He pulls my body down toward him again, his now hard cock springing up between us as I lean forward. “Yes, I fucking love you and brace yourself because one day Clare Cunningham I’m going stick a ring on your finger and change your last name.”
I lean back as the kiss ends, lining up my body until he slides easily inside. “I love you, too, you know.”
“I know.” Grant smiles and plunges into my body.