Chapter Twenty
Sasha
The burial is a small affair. My Ma didn’t want a big production, and I respected her wishes. The flowers and the casket and everything Ronan picked out is perfect. And I have to admit I’m surprised when all of the guys show up in their nicest suits. Even Ronan himself.
“Thank you for coming,” I whisper to Mack as she stands at my side.
“I’ve got your back, Sash. You’re just another fruit in this big fucked up family of ours. And that’s what family does.”
Her words make me smile, even though it feels wrong. I’ve always told myself these guys were never on my side. But she’s right. It is like one big fucked up family. Sometimes it takes being at your lowest point to see who’s really there for you. And they’re all standing right beside me now.
The service is short and done at the burial site. Mack remains beside me the entire time, and when it’s over, she insists I ride with them.
We end up at the diner that Niall’s sister runs. The same one I used to work at. The place where it all began. When Sally sees me, she kisses me and gives me a hug that’s entirely too tight. Despite the family business, I really do think she has a heart of gold.
She feeds us and allows us to sit and drink and talk until the late hours of the evening. And when it’s time to go, Lachlan offers to drive me.
“I’m heading back to the house,” Mack says. “But just call me if you need anything, Sash. Anything at all.”
“Okay.” I nod. “Thank you again, for everything.”
Ronan turns to escort her to his car, and I reach for his arm. “And thank you too.”
He nods and then hesitates. I hope he will say something. Anything.
But he doesn’t.
***
The drive with Lachlan is quiet.
I know he plans to talk to me, so when he follows me up to my apartment, I don’t argue. I set down my keys and bag and then gesture to the kitchen.
“Would you like a drink?”
“No, Sasha,” he says. “Thank you. Why don’t ye just have a seat so we can chat for a few moments.”
I nod and take a seat, wringing my hands together. I know Lachlan fairly well. I’ve never known him to be hot-headed or unreasonable, but I also know he will squash anything he perceives as a threat without batting an eye. He does it for his brothers. For the syndicate. And with the obvious tension in his shoulders and voice, I can’t help but thinking he views me as a threat somehow too. He clears his throat, and I look up at him.
“I understand why ye want to leave,” he says. “But I’m sure you can understand there are a few things we need to go over first.”
“Of course.” I give him a shaky smile.
“All the same rules would apply as if you were still working for us, Sasha. No speaking to the cops. Ever. And I do mean ever.”
“I won’t,” I assure him. “You have my word.”
“You’ll be given some new ID’s, and you’ll need to use them for your safety and ours. As far as the club is concerned, you never worked there. Do ye follow?”
“Of course.”
“And the MacKenna family?” he asks.
“I don’t know who they are.”
“That’s good,” he says. “Very good, Sasha.”
He stands up, and I think he’s going to leave. But instead, he paces towards the window and looks down onto the street, his back turned towards me.
“There’s just one more thing,” he says.
“Okay.”
“I need ye to tell me what happened to Blaine.”
All of the blood drains from my face, and I pray that he won’t turn around and see it. Because I’ve been hiding this secret for the last two years, but not from someone like Lachlan. Not when asked directly.
When everything went down before, Ronan took care of it. I didn’t have to do a thing. I don’t know how he did it, but they were convinced that Blaine had left town. When they questioned me about it, I told them exactly what Ronan told me to. He told me he was going home for a visit and I didn’t know when to expect him back. And that was it. They didn’t question it further. Blaine was always a bit flaky, and they thought he’d come back, but he never did.
And I had sort of just hoped that it meant he’d fallen off their radar. But apparently that isn’t so.
Lachlan turns around and pins me with his gaze. He sees right through me. “I know he didn’t leave town,” he says. “I need ye to tell me what really happened, Sasha. That’s all you have to do. And then you are free. You can leave. Do whatever it is you please.”
My chest is heaving like there’s a giant cement block resting on top of it. It’s getting harder to breathe. My eyes dart around the room seeking out objects to ground myself. I can’t lie to him. He’s going to know. But I can’t give up Ronan. Correction. I won’t give up Ronan. He did what he did for me. And he’s carried that secret for these last two years knowing that I could be a threat to him.
He could have killed me at any time, but he didn’t. Because he trusts me. And I trust him. And I won’t betray that trust, no matter what. Lachlan is his brother, but Lachlan is also loyal to the syndicate and all of the rules that come with it. I don’t know what he’d do in this situation, and I’m really not willing to find out.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you.” My voice comes out shaky. “But I don’t know what happened to Blaine. I already told you…”
“What you told me was a lie,” he says. “We checked flight records. Blaine never went back to Ireland.”
“Well, then I don’t know,” I say quickly. “Maybe he went somewhere else. Maybe he’s still in the states. I don’t know what he’s doing.”
Lachlan narrows his gaze and stalks closer, kneeling down until he’s on my level. He’s a lot scarier when he’s this close. And I know he senses my nerves. I’m all over the goddamn place. I’m shaking. My eyes are watering. And I think he really might kill me now.
But I won’t give up Ronan. I wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for him.
“Sasha,” Lachlan says, his voice softening. “If somebody hurt him, and it wasn’t you, you have nothing to be concerned about. All ye have to do is tell me. And I will take care of it. Hell, I’ll even give you some extra cash to disappear with.”
My bottom lip trembles, and I bite it to keep from telling him to go fuck himself. Because that’s all I really want to do. He’s pushing me, and I don’t know why. But I can’t handle it. Not right now.
“Look, I don’t know anything!” I yell at him. “You’re barking up the wrong fucking tree, okay? I don’t know what you want me to say. Blaine is gone. I haven’t seen him. Haven’t heard from him. That’s all there is to it. Nothing you do or say is going to change that.”
Lachlan rocks back on his heels and rises up to his full height. And then he just nods and walks toward the door. I’m left completely stunned when he pauses with his hand on the knob and turns around.
“I have to admit, Sasha,” he says. “I really thought you might break. Ronan was right about you.”
“What?” I whisper in confusion. “He told you?”
“Aye,” he says. “Because he had no other choice. And you’d do well to stick to the same story whenever anyone asks about it.”
He leaves, and I fall back against the sofa in a state of disbelief. Ronan told him. And didn’t even warn me. He just let him come here and test me, and there probably would have been a very different outcome had I told the truth tonight. He could have killed me.
It pisses me off. But worse than that, it hurts. I can’t believe Ronan did that to me. I pull out my phone and debate calling him when I realize there’s no point. This is the way it is.
So instead, I pull up my calendar and count the days to Mack’s wedding. Five more days. And then I’m gone. For good.