CHAPTER 29
EVE
One month later
My last final came and went yesterday. I’m shocked to have completed my first full year of college. Angelo is on his way to take me to the airport, and I still have a few odds and ends to pack. Although I insisted I could get to California on my own, he surprised me with two tickets to San Francisco International Airport. From there, we’ll rent a car and drive the thirty minutes to Stanford. He said he needed a vacation anyway, but I know that he just wants to make sure I’m settled and comfortable. Luckily, Stanford is allowing me to begin over the summer, which is quite a relief. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be able to graduate from college in only two more years.
Saying goodbye to Janelle and Claire was difficult, but necessary. The past two months have been excruciating. Janelle has tried to come over as often as she can, but it’s difficult with her schedule. Claire and I still chat, but it isn’t easy for her when I’ve become the most hated girl on campus.
Daniela managed to spread every vile rumor possible about me. Not only am I called a whore to my face, but people are actually saying that I fuck guys for tuition. People seemed to think it was funny to accidentally spill food or drinks all over my clothes or head. It didn’t take long for me to realize that while I was no longer in the middle of the ghetto afraid for my life, the people here can be just as terrifying. The entire school now sees me as a slut. I’m the girl who put Vincent Borignone behind bars.
Vincent’s warnings about his rivals finding out about me still knock around in my head. But I guess Daniela was good for something; the rumors she spread make it pretty clear that I’m not his ex-lover, but a bona fide enemy. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Cartel sends me a goddamn fruit basket at this point.
I pull my stringy hair back with a tie, unconcerned with the fact that I haven’t worn makeup in months and I haven’t washed my hair since last Saturday. The only thing I care about now are grades and moving on with my life.
One thing is for sure: the world doesn’t owe me shit. But, I’m prepared to work hard and succeed at my goals. I still intend on going to law school after I finish my undergraduate degree. None of my plans have to change.
I’m still working through the fact that Vincent and I are totally done. While I do think we had love, he always made it clear that there was another side to him. I guess I was too dumb and blind to notice. I wish I had someone to really talk to about it all. But the truth is, no one can relate to what happened to me. Talking about it is nothing but futile. I just want to bury my feelings, along with the memory of him. It’s too painful to deal with.
That’s not to say I haven’t had compulsive conversations with him in my head. They go something like this:
“Vincent! Why? How could you do that to me?”
“I just wanted to know what it felt like to have someone at home.”
Or, other times, he’d say:
“I just couldn’t control my urges; I’m a sexual man, and I was never willing to say no to a woman.”
And every so often, he’d say:
“No baby. I made Angelo lie. I had to save you from my enemies. I had to make sure you had no hope left so that everyone knew we were over.”
Somehow, I vaguely remember him whispering something about art the night he came home before he broke things off. But for the life of me, I can’t remember what he was talking about. But what good would it do, anyway? He wanted me gone, and he got his wish.
I look around my now-empty dorm room. I can’t believe that only a few hours ago, this space was filled with books and clothes, and now, it’s completely abandoned and empty. It’s oddly wistful.
I can smell Angelo coming down the hall and let out a quiet laugh. Finally, he steps inside, placing a warm hand on my back. “Ready, sweetheart?”
Somehow, his scent makes me feel secure. I take a deep breath before handing him two pieces of luggage to bring down to the car.
***
LaGuardia Airport is mayhem, but Angelo and I make it to the gate with a few minutes before boarding. Before we get onto the plane, I stuff my hand in the small zipper pocket inside my purse, trying to find a piece of gum. I feel something hard. I pull it out and lift it closer to my face to inspect it. It’s a silver boot charm.
“What is this?”
I hand it to Angelo, and he looks at it. “It looks like a boot.”
“No shit,” I laugh. “But why is this here?”
He chuckles. “How the hell am I supposed to know? You girls have tons of random junk in your bags.” For a moment, I remember Claire’s gigantic bag, and I smile.
But of course, my mind starts racing. The only charms I’ve ever had were from the keychain Vincent gave me. But, why is it here? Could it have fallen off the chain? Maybe Vincent had something to do with this—did he remove it off the keychain? Was he trying to tell me something? I swallow back tears as I get on the plane. My mind is probably playing tricks on me, looking for anything as a sign of hope.
I walk onto the flight, handing my ticket to the stewardess. She smiles kindly, gesturing to my seat.
I pause, turning around to Angelo behind me. “You didn’t have to get us first class.”
“Of course, I did. Your first time flying, gotta be the best.” He winks at me, but I can see the sadness behind the smile. Even though I love him, I feel this inexplicable urge to push him away. Maybe leaving really was the right move. I need to start over. I can’t face my past anymore.
California, here I come.