CHAPTER 6
VINCENT
With the moan of my name from her lips, I’m brought back to reality. I pull my mouth away. You can’t do this, my mind echoes. I stare at her face, flushed from her high cheekbones down to her perfect cherry nipples. I want this so bad, but I need to control myself. It takes her a few seconds to realize that I’ve stopped. At first, her eyes open wide with so much joy…
And then she blinks.
The realization that something is wrong moves through her face. She must see remorse is written all over me because her smile falls.
“Eve,” I pant, dropping my head into her neck, trying to slow myself down. She places her small hands behind my head, holding me close. She’s comforting me when she should be slapping me across the face.
“W-what happened?” She looks at me openly, her eyes and body so full of tenderness that it makes my knees weak. I touch her face, smoothing out the stress lines on her forehead. I’m angry that she’ll allow me to do this to her when she deserves so much more. I haven’t even explained things yet!
“I’m not going to fuck you like this, here against the wall.” My voice comes out harsher than I intended. I sigh, telling myself to calm down. “That’s not who you are.”
I set her down on the floor and she immediately bends down, picking up her crumpled clothes. Her dark hair is wild, draped around her shoulders and covering the tops of her breasts. She slides her shivering arms into her threadbare bra, hands moving to her back to shut the clasp. This is my fault.
I step behind her, gently hooking her bra together. Her body trembles, literally shakes like a leaf, while I put her shirt back on, adjusting her straps so they aren’t tangled.
I need to talk to her. We need to be open and she needs to know what’s going on. The time for withholding truth is over. If she and I have any hope for the future, we have to go about this the right way, with honesty.
“There are obviously things I didn’t tell you. I need to start by saying that I shouldn’t have given you those drinks. Tonight was entirely my fault. I was hoping for a little more time with you before I had to bring all of this shit up.” I shut my mouth tightly, breathing through my nose.
Her head is down as if she’s embarrassed by her behavior. Doesn’t she realize that this isn’t one-sided?
“Eve, don’t put your head down.” I take her hand, bringing her to my couch. I maneuver us so that the height difference isn’t as pronounced. I want her to feel like an equal.
“You’re Vincent Borignone,” she says, biting the side of her quivering lip. “I need to get out of here.” She makes a move to turn away, but I hold her in place. I move my thumb to her cheek, brushing the tears off with the pads of my thumbs. Her huge brown eyes have turned into a honey hazel blend. “How could I do that, Vincent? How could I, and how could you?” She starts to cry in earnest and I bring her closer to me.
“Don’t cry, baby. I swear to you, I understand. What we have is difficult to control. What happened tonight was my fault, all right? Blame me.”
“And you’re…you’ve got a—”
“You heard things, right? About me? And Daniela, too. What do you think you know? Tell me everything, Eve, and we’ll sort it out together. The time for secrets is behind us now.” I’m waiting for her to break down and tell me everything she knows. And then I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her the entire dirty truth.
She sniffles, trying to catch her breath. “You have a g-girlfriend. Your father is Antonio. You’re B-Borignone mafia.”
“The internet, and Daniela, in particular, have a way of molding reality. She is very talented at giving just enough honesty in her photography that the lies become camouflaged.”
“Vincent—I don’t want to know, okay? I’ve learned enough through the gossip mill and the internet.”
“So, you used to hide behind your sister and your books, and you’re trying to continue that? Eve, you can’t live in darkness. If we’re going to figure this shit out between us, you need to open your eyes—”
“Figure shit out between us? There is no us, Vincent.”
This girl is mine. She can deny it all she wants, but I know what we have. “You think I’m letting you go again?”
“And what is that supposed to mean? You. Don’t. Have. Me.” She punctuates every word, but I hear the pain in her undertone.
“We’re both here at school together. I’ll never be okay with us pretending like the other doesn’t exist.”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Her chest rises and falls with her heavy breathing. “I don’t want to learn about how you treated me like I was y-your whore.”
Her tears keep falling, but she doesn’t stop. “I can’t find out more about it because then, everything I believed we had would feel like a lie. I thought we had something; when really, I was nothing to you! You knew me, but I didn’t know you. Did you see my mother and think, ‘well, she’s just like her?’”
“No—”
“You had a girlfriend the entire time! You turned me into a cheater, Vincent! I can’t find out more. If you care about me at all, you’ll just leave it as a good memory, and move on.” She is slashing herself with her words, but I’m the one who sharpened the knife. I need to find a way to dull the edge.
I move closer to her, opening my hands in front of my chest. “Eve. I swear to all that is holy that I never saw you that way. Look into my eyes and trust me. Let me just explain—”
My words come too late; her pain is obviously spiraling. “I can’t believe how stupid I was! And you let me be the idiot. I can just imagine, rich and gorgeous Vincent Borignone. Standing in my shitty stairwell with the lights flickering…” She lets out a sardonic laugh. “I’ve seen countless men do this to my mother. But you would know that already, wouldn’t you? She does work as a stripper in one of your—”
I lift my hand, stopping her. “No. You don’t deserve to feel like I treated you like trash. I won’t allow you to think poorly about what we had.” The thought of never touching her again turns my chest hollow. But I calm myself, needing to continue. “I will not let you believe that your first experiences with a man, with me, were tainted. What we had wasn’t a damn lie!”
She looks at me, fury surrounding her. “You won’t allow me?”
I grit my teeth. “I will not.” I wait, letting it sink in that there’s no way I’m going to walk away from this. From us. “I see how you may think Daniela and I are together on social media. And yeah, we used to fuck.” She winces, but I don’t let it stop me from speaking the truth. “But things are complicated with us. If you’d just let me—”
I move forward, trying to touch her again. But the way she’s staring at my eyes makes it clear that she wants nothing to do with me right now. Eve stands up off the couch, backing away. Even though every part of me is telling me to grab her and force her to listen, I don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have. Maybe she needs a few days to process. She got a little drunk tonight, and I want her to be straight when she hears me out.
She turns her angelic face toward the ceiling, trying to look anywhere but at me. “I get it,” she hiccups, still refusing my eyes. “You’re the king and queen of New York and all that, right? How could you throw something like that away for someone like me?”
“No one is the king and queen of shit,” I yell. “Like I said before, it’s a lot more complicated than that. It’s family business.” I try to soften my voice at the end, but nothing is working. I’m not used to feeling so out of control; I hate it.
“Oh, that’s great!” she replies sarcastically. “Family business. Let’s add that to the list, huh? You’re Vincent Borignone, a member of the hardest mafia on the East Coast! You think I don’t know what family business means?”
“Maybe I’m an associate?”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Vincent. I see how strong and powerful and smart you are! You belong to the family, and they aren’t dumb. They probably see you as their golden ticket! And as the son of Antonio—”
“Well, let’s start with this,” I tell her firmly. “You’re right. I’m not just a member. The entire family operation? It’s going to be mine one day. All the illegal shit we do? The drugs, the guns? I am my father’s right hand.” My chest heaves. “And you want to know something crazy? Ever since I met you, I knew I needed and wanted to make a serious change in my life!” I step closer to her, feeling the emotion run through me. “Because of you, I’ve been in the process of trying to change everything.” I yell, my voice echoing around the room.
Instead of backing down, she rises up to me. “Why is it so important to you for me to know the truth? Why do you even care? Let’s just stay away from each other. Let the past stay in the past where it belongs.”
“Why?” I grumble, my teeth clenched. “Because I fucking lo— ” I stop myself, exhaling. “You call to me on a hundred different levels. Because who you are has meaning in my life.” I pause, gripping the ends of my hair. “When I thought I’d never see you anymore, the memory of you still mattered. What you stand for matters. Do you understand?” I point to my own chest. “The idea of you walking away from me. Ignoring me. Falsely believing that I took advantage of you last year. I won’t have it. This apartment? It’s mine and mine alone. No one other than my father, Tom, and my driver knows that it exists. You’re the only other person I’ve ever brought here. You’re the only woman who has ever put her head on that pillow. You aren’t a side piece. Since the day I met you, you have been the only fucking piece!”
I look down at the ground for a moment, clenching my fists. “You’ve risked your life to get out of that shitty fucking universe you lived in. And I swore to myself then that I’d stay away from you because I didn’t want to bring you back down the rabbit hole. But then tonight,” I sigh, dropping my head in my hands for a moment. “You showed up. If you think I’m giving up on us now, you’re wrong. I let go of you once, and I’m not making that same mistake again.”
She opens and closes her mouth a few times, but she doesn’t speak.
My phone pings with a text. I lift it from the side table. It’s a 9-1-1 from Jimmy. “Fuck!” I roar. “I gotta take you home.” I press my lips into a firm line. I’ve got no choice but to answer this. If a brother needs me, I’m there.
She moves to put on her shoes and I walk into my bedroom, pulling out one of my dark hoodies. It’ll probably fall to her knees, but it’ll keep her warmer than that thin tank she’s got on. When I get into the living room, she’s sitting on the couch with her knees up to her chin. I bend over to slide it over her head, pulling her hair through the hood while she threads her arms inside. I realize that she’s in somewhat of a shock right now, and I immediately feel like shit. I want to protect her, not hurt her. What have I done?
We get downstairs and my car is waiting for us. She’s silent. This time, I don’t press my leg against hers. Our conversation will have to wait a few days until she processes what she’s learned tonight. I need time with her, without any distractions.
The car pulls up in front of the freshman quad and I put my hand on the door, stopping her from leaving. There’s a lot I want to say, but my head is too full. I watch as she shuts her eyes tightly, a lone tear sliding down her beautiful face.
I finally move my hand off the door. She steps out and walks to her dorm, not looking back. I slam my hand on the passenger seat. “Fuck!” I yell. “Take me to Jimmy’s,” I order the driver.
“Yes, Mr. Borignone.”