18
Sophia
Sophia had fallen for it. She’d fallen for Nate hook, line, and goddamn sinker. Now she didn’t know which way was up, like she was drowning somewhere deep, clamoring for the surface.
So far the walk was doing her some good, but she had a long way to go yet. She figured she could catch a cab or a bus when she was ready to, or even call Jack if it was that dire, but she wasn’t ready yet. She was too goddamn sad.
Her bones hurt. Was that normal? It felt like somebody had squeezed her too tight all over, and now she was one big walking bruise.
This whole time Nate had been engaged. To a supermodel no less. It all made sense now. Gabriel probably knew about the engagement, which was why Nate didn’t want her saying anything to her sister. And she’d been dumb enough to think it was because they had some special secret connection. She was humiliated. Completely, utterly, humiliated. Devastated too.
Waves of heat rose from the asphalt, distorting the road ahead and making Sophia feel like she was walking through a dream. She wiped sweat from her brow and sighed, wishing it was just a dream. Or a nightmare. Either way, at least she’d get to wake up.
A car drove past her, and she recognized the familiar chrome bumper. Nate started reversing the Comet until he was beside her, and she could feel his eyes on her through the open side window. She kept walking.
“Were you planning to walk all the way back to Berkeley?” he asked, crawling alongside her.
She didn’t even glance his way. “Fuck off.”
Sophia walked faster, even though it was pointless. She considered rolling evasively off the embankment, but she didn’t feel like ending her day in the hospital.
“Sophia, please get in the car,” he entreated. “I’ll explain everything and you can still hate me afterward if you want. This way, at least you get a ride home.”
Another car had driven up behind Nate, and was now angrily laying on the horn. She looked over finally, but Nate didn’t even seem to have noticed the silver SUV riding his tail. He wasn’t even looking at the road ahead. Instead, he had those soulful grey eyes directed at only her.
Sophia sighed. At the end of the day, she wanted more than anything for there to be a good explanation for what she’d witnessed today. His deception hurt more than any of her breakups with Greg.
“Fine,” she spat, wrenching open the door handle. “But it better be one hell of a good explanation.”
Nate waited until she was seated and had done up her seatbelt before he took off again at a normal speed. Sophia waited for him to speak with her arms crossed over her chest, staring purposefully out the windshield like the road ahead was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen in her life.
“Lexa and I have a complicated relationship,” he began. “But she didn’t lie to you today. We are technically engaged.”
“There’s no such thing as technically engaged,” Sophia said, glowering over at him. “You either are or you aren’t.”
“Okay, we’re engaged,” he acknowledged. “But there’s a lot you don’t understand about the world I’m from, Sophia.”
“Then enlighten me!” She tossed her hands in the air, enraged. “Because right now, I don’t see how you having a surprise fiancée could possibly be any less shitty than it is.”
Nate ran a hand through his hair, glancing between her and the road. “Everything about clan life is about the pursuit of power. As the future leader of the clan, I’m one of the most powerful members. Lexa’s family, on the other hand, is a different kind of powerful. They came from the Head Clan in Greece and were always favourites of the leader there, a man known for killing or mutilating his own kind at the slightest provocation. When Lexa and her parents first moved to Seattle, my father was convinced that they were trying to undermine or usurp him. Lexa and I were betrothed when we were ten years old. My father hoped that the union would mean that her family wouldn’t pry too much into his business.”
“How convenient,” she muttered.
“It’s the truth.” He frowned over the steering wheel, clearly sensing the conversation wasn’t going well for him. “We’ve never been intimate. We don’t even know each other that well, despite what Lexa seems to think. She doesn’t want to be with me any more than I want to be with her.”
Sophia snorted. “Then why would she make such a big show of being your fiancée today? It seemed a lot like she doesn’t want anyone else in the picture.”
They were getting close to Sophia’s apartment, which meant Nate was running out of time. It was nice to hear that he’d never touched the statuesque beauty, but that didn’t eliminate the reality that he was engaged to another woman.
“She doesn’t want to be with me, but she does want to marry me still,” he tried to explain. “Lexa’s just as hungry for power as my father feared she would be. Right now I’m her stepping stone into the throne.”
“I see.”
“This isn’t a life I chose, Sophia. It’s not the life I want.” He sighed, turning down her street. “I would never choose Lexa.” His next words sent a shaft of heat through her chest. “I would choose you.”
The car rumbled to a stop in front of Sophia’s building, and she stared morosely at the stairs, and at the kiss that almost happened there. Would she ever be able to stand in front of her apartment again without thinking about the way her body liquefied at the prospect of his touch?
“Lexa only came down here to try to drag me home.”
Surprised, Sophia swung her gaze to Nate. He was gripping the wheel tightly.
“I thought you were on a job?” she asked.
He shook his head, his shaggy damp hair tousled in a way that still made her shiver, even though she was mad at him. “I came here to get away. My dad’s dying and I’m expected to take over for him soon.”
A piece of Sophia, one she tried to keep hidden, throbbed. She missed her dad so much. The pain of watching him fade from this life had nearly broken her once upon a time.
“I’m sorry,” she offered quietly.
“Don’t be,” he said with a bitter smile. “It’s normal. All clan leaders die young, and he was an asshole to begin with.”
She wanted to ask why the leaders died young, but it hardly seemed like the time. She was still hurt and confused, yet she couldn’t bring herself to put her hand on the handle and get out of the car.
Another question, one that had been plaguing her all week, swam to the forefront of her thoughts. She only needed the courage to ask it. Sophia caught Nate’s gaze, and the look he gave her was so pleading that it bolstered her.
“Why haven’t I heard from you? What kind of asshole kisses a girl and then ghosts on her?”
His jaw tightened. “I didn’t want Lexa to know about you, I’m sorry. I should have done literally anything else but it seemed like the right idea at the time.” His lips curled ever so slightly, just the way that Sophia loved. “It was an amazing kiss.”
Her heart thumped despite herself. “What are you going to do?”
She left the question open because she wasn’t sure what she was really asking. What was he going to do about her? About the clan? About Lexa? About the rest of his day?
His smile dropped. “I don’t know.” A second later, he added, “I’m not going back. I’ve decided that much.”
Throughout this whole conversation, Sophia had presumed he was saying goodbye. The jig was up. Nate would return home with Lexa, and she’d never see him again. She knew how big of a deal the clan was. The way Gabe described it made it sound like some sort of cult.
She couldn’t believe Nate was planning to give that up, but she wanted to.
Sophia stared hard at him, at the earnest expression playing across his handsome features. She still didn’t believe him, but she ached at the thought of seeing him go.
“Do you want to come inside?”
It was a bad idea at best, but what could she do? Where Nate Redman was concerned, Sophia had one hell of a weak spot.