Chapter Nineteen

 

 

 

 

 

Tori

 

 

 

 

For a long time, I lived my life in the same manner. I worked my ass off at the station house while on shift. When I wasn’t at work, I was usually alone either at my house or at the gym. The only people I associated with outside of that brick building were my father and my brother. It was my life, my normal, and it suited me fine.

Over the past few years, things had slowly started to change. Simon Owens and Nick Christos were the first of the changes, neither of them put off by my less than gleaming personality. They started inviting me out after shifts or on our days off and I joined them more and more.

Then they both had to go and couple up, bringing two women into my life that I never realized how much I needed. I’d never had female friends growing up since I was such a tomboy and always running with Vincent, but Megan and Kelly became more than I ever expected them to be.

Then there was Ty, a person with his own secrets who understood that I needed to get lost in my own head sometimes. He was the quiet and calm to the whirlwind I’d been brought into by the others. He was there to listen, there to talk, or there to just be with me when I needed someone else. He also knew when to pull me out of my own head.

The biggest change was Evan Coleman. In the three months since the fire, he’d made me realize just how great life could be. I had been going through it on autopilot for so long that I forgot what being happy felt like. And even though it was still hard to admit, that man made me happy.

The days following the hockey game, Evan and I stayed together any night I wasn’t on shift, either at my place or his. We’d make dinner together- okay, fine. He’d make dinner while I watched- and then cuddle up on the couch in front of the TV or sit out on the deck in the backyard just talking. Combine that with the mind-blowing sex we were having and everything was just perfect.

That thought was kind of scary, honestly. So… I tried not to actually think about it.

On Saturday morning, I rapped my knuckles on the doorframe to Captain Stevenson’s office. He was behind his desk and immediately looked at me, as did Owens, who was sitting in front of the captain’s desk.

“What is it, Jones?” Cap’s cranky voice almost made me smile. He was a hard ass, rarely saying a nice thing, but none of us would take him any other way.

“During the morning meeting, it didn’t sound like we had anything in the pipe for today.” I leaned against the wall and folded my arms across my chest. “Any chance Engine Company could head out to Pelican Park to watch my girls’ last game?”

Owens’ blue eyes raked over my body but not in a sexual way. I knew he was noticing the fact that my navy blue pants and the matching NHFD shirt that was tucked into them actually fit my body. Both pieces of clothing were two sizes smaller than what I normally wore at work and had been in the bottom of my dresser drawer in my bunkroom.

When I’d gone to get dressed at the beginning of my shift, something had stopped me from putting on my normal outfit. I stared down at the overly large fabric for so long, finally realizing that I wore it like armor. But I didn’t need it. I’d found confidence to shed myself of the shield and I had a certain blue-eyed detective to thank for that.

The clothing made me feel empowered but the biggest benefit was how comfortable I was. Always wearing clothes as baggy as I did caused a lot of chafing thanks to sweat where the fabric gathered and required constant adjusting. What I currently had on wasn’t exactly formfitting but it allowed my skin to breathe without the excess.

Owens finished his perusal and gave me a proud grin before nodding and glancing to the captain. “I wouldn’t mind seeing my niece and nephew kick ass one more time.”

“Go ahead,” Cap grumbled with a wave of his hand. “If you stop for lunch, I expect a goddamned cheeseburger.”

Both Owens and I chuckled as we walked out of the office and headed up the stairs. He told the other three riders of Engine Company what was going on as I detoured into my bunkroom to grab my cell phone.

I stopped in front of the mirror to my dresser and re-did my ponytail, knowing damn well that I was only doing it because I was going to see Evan. I looked at my reflection and rolled my eyes at myself. I was being ridiculous.

The guys were all at the rig when I made it downstairs so I grabbed my equipment and joined them, climbing up into my spot in the middle. Once everything and everyone was settled, Lennox pulled out of the bay and towards Pelican Park.

I listened to the banter over the headset but didn’t really contribute. I pulled out my phone several times to tell Evan we were on our way but kept deciding against it. I didn’t want to tell him we’d be there and get a call that prevented us from actually showing up.

We pulled into the parking lot and Lennox parked us against a red curb that strictly said ‘No Parking.’ It was the only place the rig would fit and he justified parking there by saying that the red curbs were for emergency vehicles anyway. None of us complained as we filed out and Owens gestured to the left side of the field.

“I’m going to run and check on Hudson’s team first to see how Megan is doing.” He clapped Christos on the shoulder. “I think your wife should be there, too.”

The two of them headed off in that direction while Trujillo veered towards the snow cone truck almost immediately. Lennox dropped his arm across my shoulders and glanced over at me as we walked towards the field my girls were playing on.

“Your ass looks awesome in those pants, you know.” He glanced over at me with a grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling behind the sunglasses he was wearing. When I glared at him, he just shrugged. “Hey, just because I’m not into vaginas doesn’t mean I don’t recognize a great ass when I see it. The fact that you’re not hiding that great ass…”

He trailed off and I cleared my throat. “I’m sick of being the person that I let Dunsworth shape me into. I’m sick of being afraid to be myself.”

“That’s definitely something you shouldn’t be afraid of, Tor. I’m not completely sure I trust that guy.” Lennox gestured to where Evan had just come into view, his back to us as he directed the girls that were currently playing in the game. “But if he can help restore your faith in yourself and humanity, that’s all I need.”

My friend’s encouragement was such a gift, especially because he was in a hard spot. He’d confided in me after breakfast that morning that he and his boyfriend had ended things.

Apparently, Ty coming out of the shadows as a proud gay man didn’t have its intended effect. His boyfriend still refused to do the same. Tyson gave him time to be brave and take that next step but said he wouldn’t wait forever.

He was heartbroken and I wished I could take the hurt away from my friend.

We came to a stop near the sidelines and he hugged me to his side, kissing my temple just as my name was called. I turned towards where Evan was standing with the girls who were waiting to substituted in.

Grace was grinning at me, obviously the one who’d spotted me first, but her uncle was frowning. I reached out and squeezed Ty’s hand before leading him over to where everyone else was.

Play had stopped due to the ball going out of bounds so I raised my hand up in a wave when the girls on the field yelled out their greetings. I made it to the others just as the ball was thrown back in and hugged Grace and a couple other girls when they rushed me. I released them and stepped over to where Evan was standing with a stoic expression on his face.

“Hey, handsome.”

A small smile tugged across his lips. “Hi, Tor. This is a surprise.”

Hell, I wanted to kiss him so bad but we’d agreed to keep our affection separate from coaching. I settled for a shoulder bump instead. We both cheered when one of our girls made a steal and I glanced over at him.

“We don’t have anything scheduled right now so I asked Owens if we could come by. Wasn’t hard to convince him since his wife is here somewhere.”

“The girls were bummed that you weren’t coming so I’m sure they’re all happy to see you.” He reached out and trailed his fingers along the back of my neck. “I’m happy to see you.”

I didn’t get a chance to respond because the other team scored and brought a stop in play. Evan and I both huddled up with the girls to give them a pep-talk before the next kick-off. We both ran up and down the sidelines as usual, yelling out words of praise and encouragement.

Lennox and Trujillo both settled under the shade of a small tree, slurping up melting snow cones. Kendra’s family, including her parents and eventually her uncle, joined them near the end of the game.

The score was tied up at two when the final whistle was blown and I was drenched in sweat. The strands of hair that were too short for my ponytail stuck to the side of my face in a matted mess. The dark clothing wasn’t really the best choice for the fall heat.

At some point I had taken off my NHFD shirt, leaving me in the red tank top I had on underneath. The girls didn’t care how sweaty I was when they all gathered around where Evan and I were, taking turns throwing their arms around my waist.

“I’m proud of all of you,” I told them once the last hugs had been dished out. “Evan and I couldn’t have asked for a better team.”

He nodded in agreement next to me. “I had way more fun than I thought I would.”

I reminded them all about the end-of-season Halloween party that Owens was throwing at his house in two weeks, encompassing both Kendra and Hudson’s teams, and everyone started to split up. Becca and Jade were there to take Grace so Evan walked back over to where my company was still under the tree with Megan, Kelly, and Elias now with them.

“For someone who didn’t want to coach, you were certainly taking it serious,” Owens remarked as he handed me my things. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled my shirt on before resituating my radio.

“Are you waiting for me to tell you that you’re right or for the opportunity to say that you told me so?”

Owens’ blue eyes were bright as he grinned at me. “I’m not greedy enough to need both. I’ll take either or.”

Our small group laughed and Evan’s arm came around my waist once I was done situating myself. I leaned into him and had to hold back a snarky comment when I saw Kelly and Megan exchange an excited look. Before either woman could comment, Evan spoke.

“Thanks for opening your house to both teams, guys.” His fingers flexed slightly against my hip. “Grace hasn’t stopped talking about it since we told her.”

Megan grinned and spoke as her husband wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his hands on her barely-there baby bump. “It’s our pleasure. We’d love to have you and Tori over for dinner sometime outside of that. Kendra had amazing things to say about you.”

“Besides,” Kelly chimed in with a grin. “As Tori’s female friends, it’s our job to send you through the proper interrogation.”

“Of course,” Evan agreed easily, pulling me even closer to his side. “I’d expect nothing less.”

Christos cuddled his seven-month-old son to his chest and let out a huff of laughter. “Don’t expect them to go easy on you. The look small, pretty, and innocent but the Gold sisters have claws.” He laughed again when his wife glared at him. “You can’t hurt me right now, hot stuff. I’m holding the baby.”

Before Kelly could retort, the radio crackled in my ear not for the first time but when the dispatcher called out our company name, everyone went silent. Owens reached for the switch on his chest and let out a sigh before responding.

“Time to go,” I told Evan quietly as I turned so we were face to face. “Call you later?”

He smiled and nodded once before giving me a sweet kiss. “Sounds good. Be safe.”

After another quick kiss, I jogged across the field towards the rig with the other guys. We were in the truck and pulling out of the parking lot less than thirty seconds later and I tugged on my turnout pants as Lennox drove us through town.

The call we arrived at was a car accident without any injuries so we did basic assessments and traffic control until we weren’t needed. From there, the calls seemed to roll in one after another. Two more car accidents, one medical call, and a small backyard fire kept us busy until well after dinnertime. The sun was setting by the time we parked in the bay garage and all of us shuffled out of the rig almost immediately.

“I’m starving,” Trujillo grumbled and I nodded in agreement. I hung up my gear, used the downstairs sink to wash off my hands and face, and headed up to the living quarters. When I saw the pizza boxes on the kitchen counters, I let out a groan.

“It’s so beautiful.”

Ladder Company had been back longer than us so they’d already eaten and were mostly hanging out in front of the TV. I inhaled two slices of pizza before going back to my bunk to get some clean clothes. My phone chimed from where it was plugged in but I ignored it. I needed a shower more than anything in that moment. Hell, I was beginning to gross myself out.

I stayed under the hot water for about twenty minutes, scrubbing my body several times before finally feeling satisfied. After I was out, I towel dried my hair and left it hanging down before putting on a pair of department-issued sweat pants and a matching shirt. The sweatpants were baggy but the shirt was another correct-size tee that hugged my breasts, which were encased under a sports bra.

Picking up my phone, I smiled at the texts Evan had sent and offered my own reply before switching to my e-mail. I had just clicked on one in the work inbox when the PA chimed.

“Company 21 report to the bay immediately.” The captain’s voice was tense, more so than usual, and I frowned as I slipped my phone into the pocket of my sweats. Almost immediately, it started vibrating. I had just reached for it with one hand and the doorknob with my other when a big body appeared in my doorway.

“Jones.”

It took about three second of eye contact with Owens for understanding to hit me. His face pinched with concern said it all.

“The video,” I breathed, feeling a tightness form in my chest. “No.”

Owens said something but he sounded so far away. Blackness started to creep into my vision and I couldn’t tell if I was shaking or if it was just the phone vibrating against my hip.

It had taken me seven years to get to where I was and just a few seconds to shatter it all.