Chapter Eight
Whizz sat down in the café and ordered himself a sandwich along with a strong coffee. He didn’t know why he was back here again or why he hadn’t even bothered to bring his laptop. Being in the clubhouse was starting to bug him. With the Chaos Bleeds crew camping out with them, the house was feeling cramped. He’d spent last night all alone but thinking about the blue haired siren who’d interrupted his work last night. For the first time since Alan had tortured him, he felt at peace. He knew the guys and the old ladies at the club tried to help, but they couldn’t help him. No one could cure the demons that he suffered. The demons were locked inside his head, refusing to get out.
He’d never seen this woman before in his life. Was she new to town? His gut was telling him to tread carefully. All they’d done was stare at each other, neither talking, but the silence, to him, spoke volumes.
Tapping his fingers on the table, he paused as the waitress placed the plate down in front of him. “Here you go, Whizz,” she said.
“Thanks.” He didn’t know her name and didn’t extend an invitation for her to sit down. There was a time all the waitresses would keep him company for the day. He’d stopped inviting women to his bed after Alan broke a part of him.
When she lingered, he forced himself to look up at her. “What?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to get together sometime?” He saw the desperation in her eyes, the lust, and to a point the greed. This invitation from her wasn’t about him but about the club. She wanted inside the club to get to know The Skulls, nothing else.
Frowning, he glanced down at her name badge to see her name was Mandy. Before his attack he’d have taken her up on her offer. Now, he wasn’t interested in her.
You’ve not fucked a woman in a long time.
For the last year he’d shared a lot of women’s beds, but none of them had been available to him. He didn’t want to have sex. The thought of letting loose again terrified him.
Why are you here to see a woman you don’t know?
“Not interested,” Whizz said, glancing down at his food. He didn’t want the waitress. No, he wanted a nameless blue-haired woman who was far more dangerous. Whizz and The Skulls knew Mandy. She was a local whereas the blue-haired woman was a complete stranger.
“I don’t mind waiting—”
“I said I’m not interested. Now fuck off.” He glared at her, letting her see the anger inside him.
She walked away with her shoulders slumped. He’d never spoken to a woman like that. Shit, was wrong with him?
“What did she say to put a stick up your ass?” the blue-haired woman asked, appearing in front of him as if he’d thought her up. God, he hoped he wasn’t losing his mind.
Glancing up, he saw she was dressed in black jeans and a blue shirt that contrasted with her hair. She wore the hood that covered her hair and face.
Watching her move, he was drawn to her voluptuous curves. She took a seat opposite him in the booth.
“Nothing.”
She raised a brow. “You mean you got pissed because she didn’t say anything to you? That sounds a little mean.”
He shook his head, picking up his sandwich. “She wanted to fuck, and I wasn’t interested.”
“Wow, it really does happen.”
“What does?” he asked, taking a bite.
“A guy who’d turn down an available pussy. I didn’t think I’d ever live to see the day that a guy would turn one down. It makes me wonder if you’re human or not.” She smiled at him.
Pausing in chewing his food, he was charmed by her smile.
“I’m not interested in fucking, and I’m very much human,” he said.
She placed her palms on the table. He caught a glimpse of the ink around her wrist.
“Why don’t you take your jacket off? It’s hot.” Whizz wanted to see her without anything obstructing his view.
“I’m fine.” She folded her arms in front of her. Her eyes were still on him.
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering why you’d turn down some pussy when you’re a hot guy.”
“You think I’m hot?”
She shrugged. “You called me beautiful last night. I was merely returning the favor.”
He noticed her hands were shaking, but she’d remembered that he called her beautiful last night. Pushing his plate toward her, he offered her the other triangle of his sandwich. “Eat.” He wanted her to stay to keep him company. This woman had seen part of him was broken, but she’d also admitted that she shared in a pain similar to his. What had happened to her? Did she get nightmares at night that scared her to her core? Were there times she wondered if ending it all would make it easier?
“I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve invaded my privacy not once but twice. Eat.”
She kept staring at him as the plate was held in front of him. “You like my company. I can see it. If it bothered you so much you wouldn’t be here, and do you always get what you want?” she asked.
“No.” But he used to get what he wanted. There was a time when the world didn’t seem so scary or dark. He’d snap his fingers and he could have women swarming around him. Whizz could probably still snap his fingers and have women, but he couldn’t follow through. Their touch repulsed him, scared him. Whenever they got close all he saw was Alan. The women at the club, they didn’t scare him as they were all taken. Running fingers through his hair, Whizz glanced away from her. The scar down the side of his face and the ones on his hands, in fact the scars all over his body were a constant reminder of what happened to him.
“I’m going to make sure you never forget me.”
Whizz jerked as Alan’s voice sounded through his mind as if he was always there. He knew what came next, the searing pain as Alan raped him. Someone grabbed his hand pulling him out of the sudden shocking memory.
“It’s okay. I’ll eat the sandwich, and you’re here with me. We’re here together,” she said, talking to him calmly
He stared at the woman waiting for the nightmare to continue. She dug her nails into his skin.
“You’re with me here. Nothing bad is going to happen. I’m going to eat the sandwich, and you’re going to be there with me.”
“What’s your name?” he asked, needing to know something about her.
“Lacey. You?”
“Whizz, my name is Whizz.” He took several deep breaths, containing his fear, locking it in a box and throwing away the key. No matter how many times he did this, he couldn’t help but find the key.
Holding onto her arm, he gritted his teeth to fight with the memory. The same nightmare that plagued him most nights of him being tied down and at the mercy of a monster. Alan had taken a great deal from him. He’d taken his freedom to enjoy life and have fun.
He watched as she lifted the sandwich to her lips and took a bite. “Yum,” she said, eating.
Keeping hold of her arm, he watched her eat. She didn’t pull her eyes away from him. The way she dealt with him was like she knew exactly what he was going through. She’s as broken as you are. They were the only two people in the world as the rest fell away.
What was going on here? What was happening to him? How did she know what he was going through? It seemed so unreal to him to finally meet someone who knew what it was like to feel pain of the inner kind.
“I’ve finished.”
The sandwich was gone, the plate empty apart from a few crumbs. He continued to hold onto her arm.
“Who are you?”
“You know my name.”
“I’m not talking about your name. I’m talking about this.” He pointed at their hands. The way she knew how to bring him out of the pain.
“Someone who knows what you’re going through,” she said.
Frowning, he gazed down at where he held her. With his grip on her arm, he’d bunched the jacket up her wrist. The ink covered her hands, working up her arms. Turning her hand over, he saw the signs of her own pain. One faded scar ran up the inside of her wrist. Kelsey had tried to kill herself in the same way when the pain got too bad. Why did Lacey want to hurt herself? Nothing was making sense to him. Why did this woman have to turn up in his life now when he wasn’t ready for her?
“What did you do?” he asked, glancing back up at her.
There was no emotion on her face as she stared at him.
“I had to end the pain. Sometimes we can’t control what happens to us, but we can change what we do.”
Running his thumb over the raised scar, he heard her gasp. “Did it help?”
“No, it didn’t help. It just made me realize how much I wanted to live but be different. Trying to end my life was a mistake. I wasn’t winning by trying to take the pain away. They were winning whereas now I’m the one that’s winning.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m still living my life. No one is taking it off me.”
For several seconds neither of them said anything.
“Who are you? I’ve never seen you before,” he said.
She let out a sigh. “Someone you shouldn’t want to know.” She pulled away from him. He wanted to continue holding her, but she pulled away. “I’ve got to go.”
Whizz didn’t fight her as she started to pull away from him. He watched her leave the café running off in the opposite direction.
Follow her.
He didn’t follow her. Staying sat in the café, he watched as Mandy walked toward him. She placed another sandwich in front of him then walked off without saying another word.
Who the fuck was Lacey?
****
Closing the door behind her, Lacey charged up to her bedroom.
“Lacey, are you okay?” Dalton asked.
“I’m fine.” She didn’t turn around to look at him. He always saw too much when it came to her, and she didn’t want to share this with him.
Shutting the rest of the Savage Brothers out, she flicked the lock into place and walked straight into the bathroom. Removing the jacket that covered her body she stared at her reflection.
Blowing out a breath, she ran fingers through her hair trying to calm her nerves. No one had touched her or caressed her like Whizz had to her wrist.
Staring down at her wrist she looked at the raised scar from years ago. It was over fifteen years old. She’d been attacked at ten years old, her innocence torn from her along with the beating. Five years later she’d tried to move on, tried to have a boyfriend and pretend for once that her life wasn’t miserable or scary.
Instead, she’d not been able to accept a guy holding her hand or giving her a kiss. The only person she allowed to touch her was Dalton, but he was like a brother to her. Closing her eyes, she felt her heart beating rapidly against her chest.
Fifteen years ago, the pain of knowing she couldn’t move on with anyone had forced her to reach for a knife. Everyone had been out of the house, and Dalton had been working at the local mechanic shop. Standing at the sink, she had pressed the blade into her skin and let the blood ooze out.
Dalton found her, rescuing her in time before she’d been killed. For three months she was in the psych ward talking with the doctors assigned to her case.
Afterward, Dalton wouldn’t allow her out of his sight. It had taken some time for him to get over her trying to take her life. She’d gone from harming herself to covering her body with ink. Each piece of ink was a relief to her and a reward. She sat down while a man or woman inked her body. The experience always stressed her out, but she did it.
“Lacey?” Dalton called her name through the door. She left the bathroom door open so she was able to hear him talking.
“What?” she asked.
Looking at her reflection she saw the scar in her shoulder from the stab wound she’d gotten when she was younger.
Her body had a lot of scars from what happened. She couldn’t have kids because of the rape, and her life had been over for so long.
“What’s going on with you? Danny’s worried.”
The only thing Danny was worried about was getting the chance to take out his revenge on Gonzalez. Anything else that mattered to the club, Danny didn’t give a shit about.
“I’m fine. You’ve all got nothing to worry about.”
She turned the tap on and splashed cold water onto her face.
“Lacey, open up and talk to me.”
Closing her eyes, she started to lose her temper. Grabbing a towel, she stormed to the door. Flicking the lock, she opened the door. “What?” she asked.
“Where have you been going?”
“Out. I don’t like being cooped up in the same place. We can’t hit out at Gonzalez as he’s not in town. I went to get some fresh air. Is that okay?” she asked.
“Something’s going on with you. You’re not acting yourself.”
Glancing at the floor, Lacey wondered what she should say to him.
“Talk to me. I don’t like it when you go quiet on me.” He made to walk into her room, but she held her hand up.
“No, I don’t want you inside my room,” she said.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t think we should be using Butch. It’s wrong, and it makes us no different from Gonzalez.” She let the words spill out of her lips.
“Is this you talking or the fact you’ve been talking with Whizz?”
“How do you know?”
“You’re not the only one who can go out at night or leave during the day. We’re not some fucking vampires, Lacey. I can follow you if I want.”
She shoved him hard. “You’ve got no respect for my privacy.”
“I’m the one who respects your privacy, Lacey. I was concerned about you, and I followed through with my instinct to follow you,” Dalton said.
“You’ve got to stop looking out for me and move on. I’m not someone you can take care of or fix.”
“Do you think Whizz can? He’s as fucked as you are. Is that what you want? Someone to tell tales with?” he asked.
Lacey laughed. “Are you jealous?”
“No, I’m not jealous. I’m worried about the girl I saved.”
“Exactly. You saved me, but it doesn’t mean I’m your responsibility. I love you, Dalton, as a brother and friend, nothing else. I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a thirty year old woman. Whizz is different. He’s hurting, and he was someone to talk to.”
“Fine, if you know what you’re doing,” Dalton said, pulling away.
“I do.”
Dalton walked away, and she went to close her door.
“Do you really think Whizz is going to forgive you when the truth comes out?” Dalton asked. “We’re going to take out our revenge, and all the truth will follow. You’ve lied to him already.”
Slamming the door, Lacey rested her head against the wood. She couldn’t turn her back on the club. The Savage Brothers were her family, but she also couldn’t risk Whizz hating her. She liked him and knew in her own way, that she could help him.