The bright white walls and people in white coats pass in a blur as I rush through the maze of hallways behind Jack. We’ve managed to get here in record time thanks to The Agency having connections in places I didn’t even imagine possible. The whole flight, I couldn’t sit still, my body needing to move, to be active, to stop thinking.
Jack halts suddenly, and I put my hands up to stop myself from running face first into his back. Taking a deep breath, I look around, my eyes catching a glimpse of the sign above the two double doors in front of us, ‘Intensive Care Unit.’
I want to barf, but I press my lips together, refusing to give Jack any excuse to kick me out or keep me away. The acid burns my throat as I swallow it back before taking a step around Jack as he speaks quietly to the nurse at the desk just to the left. She nods as she listens to him speak and a buzzing sound fills the room around us.
Jack moves first, pushing on the doors which swing open with ease and allow us access to an area of the hospital where doctors and nurses are rushing back and forth.
“Hurry up, Everly,” Jack growls, my body jerking into action as I race forward just as the doors begin to close. He strides ahead, but this time I stay back, memories plaguing my mind. I’d spent more than my fair share of time within hospitals. With my mom a nurse, and my dad being admitted to the MedStar Washington Hospital for over six months before he passed away, I was constantly there with him. I would visit after school, after practice, on the weekends. Anytime I had a spare moment, I would sit with him.
Some days were harder than others. As he got weaker, there were times where he wouldn’t even know I was there. I’d sit diligently by his side as he slept, reading, fiddling with programs on my computer or just watching the world pass by as I stared out the window. As long as I was with him, it didn’t matter if he was awake or not. He knew I was there, I never doubted that.
The smell is always the same in these places. It’s so damn clean, so sanitary. It’s one of those smells you don’t forget. It brings back thoughts that you’ve pushed into the back of your mind. Like the smell of your mom’s perfume or baked cookies that only your grandma makes.
My mind screams to get the hell out of here. I don’t want to be reminded of the time in my life where I’d felt the most vulnerable, the most pain, the hardest loss.
Then I remember why I’m there, and I know that I won’t leave this place unless I know that Luca is okay and that he’s going to make a full recovery.
I look up and see Kace standing at the end of the corridor, dressed in full tactical gear, tapping his foot impatiently and scrubbing his fingers through his hair as he speaks quietly into his cell phone. We stop beside him as he finishes his call. “Okay, I love you. I’ll let you know how he is, when he wakes up,” Kace says quietly before hanging up and tucking his cell into his pocket.
I have no doubt he’s speaking to Lily. I have yet to meet her, but I’ve heard the stories of what she and Kace went through, and what his mother had tried to do to them and to The Agency before the team managed to stop her.
I guess it’s true that in times of pain and struggle, that’s when people find each other, and that’s when you learn if your relationship can survive. If you can make it through the kind of shit they have been through, then everything else will be a walk in the park.
“He inside?” Jack asks.
Kace’s eyes move to me, studying me for a second. I stand my ground, pushing my shoulders back and lifting my chin. I can tell he isn’t sure whether I should be here, I just don’t quite know why.
Kace’s gaze moves to Jack, and he nods. “He just got back from the operating theater. The whole team is here, didn’t want to draw attention to ourselves. General Osmond gave us the name of the doctor here that is… sensitive to our needs,” Kace explains, his voice low, barely above a whisper.
“Good,” Jack replies. “Last thing we need is some idiot doctor asking too many damn questions.”
I get it now.
Kace and his team aren’t meant to exist. They have fake identification to help get them through sticky situations, but it would only take for one doctor to get a little too nosey and do some digging, to find out that these people aren’t who they claim to be. On top of the fact that they would somehow need to explain what the hell happened for them to be here, and the whole thing could be damning.
The door opens, and my heart skips a beat. The nervous twitch quickly morphing into anger as Axel steps into the hall. “Jack—”
“Don’t,” Jack snaps, his eyes alight and his body tense. “Get your ass back in there. We’re gonna have a discussion, and I don’t need the people around here hearing what I have to say to you.”
I watch Axel’s face twist and contort, different emotions washing over him wave after wave. Suddenly, he slams his fist against the wall, breathing in sharp breaths through his nose. “I got him out of there, didn’t I? At least there’s that, ‘cause we failed our fucking mission, and it was right at our fingertips. She was right there!”
Jack doesn’t miss a beat, launching forward and grabbing onto Axel’s thick vest. He forces him back, their faces just inches apart. “You put your fucking team at risk. Now get the fuck back in there before I kick your fucking ass and put you in one of these damn rooms myself.”
Kace quickly moves his body, squeezing it in between his father and his teammate and prying them apart. As he does, Axel’s eyes drift over to meet mine, a fire burning deep inside them. “Maybe if someone had been able to narrow down the damn location, it wouldn’t have taken us so long, and we wouldn’t have missed her by a few fucking seconds.”
My anger flares and I lose total control of my emotions. “Maybe if you’d had some self-control, you would have put your team first before this crush you have on a girl who had a choice and chose to leave with the bad guys,” I throw back before Jack grabs me and pulls me away.
Axel rushes at me, but Kace is too quick, wrapping his arm around Axel’s neck and pulling him back.
“Control yourself,” Kace hisses as he fights, struggling with his friend. Then Kace turns his glare on me. “And you need to remember that he’s not the only one who lost control of their emotions.”
“Enough,” Jack roars. He’s obviously at the point where he doesn’t give two shits about whether people see us or not. “The both of you, back in there. Everly, you sit here and you fucking wait until I’ve spoken to them.”
I huff, crossing my arms over my chest like a spoiled child and pout at Jack.
He glares straight back at me. “Don’t come in, Everly. We’re going to be talking classified information, and unfortunately, you’re not cleared for that. Yet. Go wind down in the waiting area, and I’ll get you when Luca is lucid,” Jack demands.
I grit my teeth looking to Axel who’s slightly smiling like he’s happy I’m being told off by Jack. Asshole!
“Fine!” I sneer and turn storming off toward the family waiting bay, not giving them the satisfaction of turning back to look at them. My feet feel heavy as they drag along the linoleum. I’m tired, it’s been a long day, and all I can think about is getting in that room to see Luca. I don’t care about their fucking debriefing. I just want to know if he’s okay.
My stomach churns, and my jaw clenches at still not even knowing the full extent of his injuries.
No one has fucking told me anything.
Yeah, Agency privileges my ass.
Huffing, I slump into a cold plastic seat and pull out my cell. Opening up Facebook, I see Andy’s latest post, and I weakly smile seeing my ex and his latest shenanigans. I miss him. He always knows how to make me feel better, so I take a deep breath opening his number and hit dial.
It rings for only three rings before he answers, “Hey, Sunshine. I hope you’re having a day that is as beautiful as you.”
I snort. “Not likely.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound good. What’s wrong, Everly? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”
Weakly smiling, I relax in the seat feeling slightly calmer. “No, I just need a friendly ear.”
“Oooh… is this man trouble?”
Wincing, I grit my teeth. “Is it weird for you to talk to me about guys?”
“Oh… so it is a guy? Again do I need to kick someone’s ass?”
I let out a small laugh. “No, really just tell me something funny.”
“Okay, what did the pirate say when he turned eighty?”
I grimace and sigh. “Oh God… okay what?”
“Eye-matey!” he chimes with extra pirate sounds in his voice making me giggle.
I love this guy, he’s exactly what I need to bring me back from the brink.
“Thank you. What would I do without you in my life, Andy?”
He sighs. “You’ll never have to find out, Sunshine. So you gonna tell me what’s going on?”
Slumping further into the horrible plastic seat, I chew on my bottom lip and shake my head. I wish I could tell him. He would love all this secret government agent stuff. He’d be so proud of me making something of myself, but I can’t. I can’t even give him a hint at what I’ve been up to. I can’t even tell him that I’m not in fucking Washington either.
Sometimes being an agent has its downfalls too.
Dad never showed me this side of the life—the long flights, the anguish over fallen comrades, the endless hours of tireless work. But it is worth it in the end. We’re doing amazing things, and even though the mission to the El Paso desert bunker was a bust, hopefully, there’s still something in the rubble and debris that can be useful for us in recovering Kenzi.
Wherever she is.
If she’s even able to be recovered.
Because from the sounds of it, she went willingly.
“Everly? Have I lost you?” Andy calls down the line breaking me from my rambling thoughts.
I relax back into the hard plastic waiting room chair, screwing up my nose as I try to find a position that’s somewhat comfortable. “Sorry, my head’s a mess. Things at work are crazy. I’m just having a bad day and needed my bestie. That’s all… and guys suck.”
He snorts as if he’s heard it all before. “Don’t I know it. Well, if you feel like you want to open up to me I’m only a call away. Anytime. You know that.”
I manage another smile, and even a nod, knowing full well he can’t see me. “I do, thank you. I love you. Thanks for always being there for me.”
“I love you more than eighty-year-old pirates, Sunshine,” he chuckles, and I roll my eyes.
“Good to know where I stand on your ladder of love.”
He laughs. “You’ll always come before those pesky pirates. Okay, I have to go. But if you need me—”
“I’ll call,” I cut in, knowing this could go on forever if I don’t hurry up and say goodbye. Andy’s a talker. “Thanks again.”
“Keep your chin up.” He hangs up, and I smile wide feeling somewhat better than I was when I sat down.
I look toward Luca’s hospital room door, and the tension starts to fill my body again already as my foot taps impatiently on the floor. Taking a deep breath, I pull my bottom lip in by my teeth and sit trying to patiently wait until I can find out just how badly injured he really is.
Axel’s words start to ring through my mind.
What if he’s right?
What if Noah and I not getting the exact location down, to the pinpoint accuracy, is the reason Luca’s in this mess?
What if this is my fault?
If we could have given them the exact location, then maybe they could have gone in quicker and gotten Kenzi, then gotten out much faster before the dome started to self-destruct.
I glance down to the linoleum and start to trace it with my shoe, the colored patterns form a wave in the tile making it easy to follow aimlessly as I sit in my own personal hell wondering if I’m the cause of Luca being almost killed.
I’m unsure of how long I sit and stare at the floor, pondering my part in Luca’s injuries. My stomach is churning, nausea taking hold as my breathing becomes heavier, and I feel a little like the longer I sit here the further into hell I descend.
Suddenly, the door to Luca’s room opens, and I look up feeling hopeful, a lump shoots up into my throat as I spot Noah looking tired, worn, and like he could do with a good lie down. He looks like he really needs to sit down. I stand up worried that something’s wrong with Luca. Maybe he’s taken a turn. My heart pounds furiously in my chest as he slowly walks toward me. My body begins to shake uncontrollably as I look into his foggy eyes, and he takes in my quivering mess of a body and shakes his head.
“No Everly, he’s okay,” he comforts reaching me, placing his hands on my arms and taking hold of me as I take a deep breath and slump my body. My eyes welling but not overflowing. I don’t want him to see me cry.
“Shit,” I murmur looking away from him as I take a deep breath and he pulls me to sit down with him in the seats again. I begrudgingly follow my ass already numb from the hard torturous surface.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I’m just really fucking tired. But he’s doing okay, he’s awake but not really making much sense… you know the drugs and all.”
I weakly smile and nod. “Okay, how bad is it, Noah?”
He tilts his head and winces. “The column fell on his entire left side. He has a pretty severe concussion which has made his left leg feel numb. His leg has substantial bruising and some soft tissue damage, but the problem is his hip was dislocated. They had to pop it back in with surgery.”
A gasp escapes my mouth as my hand leaps up to cover it. “Oh, God. What does this mean?” I ask
He sighs. “Recovery… about two months. Hopefully, he should be back to fighting fit again by then, but when he leaves here, it will be in a wheelchair.”
I clench my eyes tight to try to stem the flow of tears. I know this isn’t life-threatening, I know he will get better, but for Luca, not being able to walk and run and train and mess about, this will be huge for him. This will devastate him. My stomach sinks and Noah moves in placing his arm on my shoulder pulling me to his side for comfort.
“He’ll need you, Everly.”
I nod as I think of all that he’s been through, and will go through, in the next two months, and then what I’ve been thinking while waiting. So, I decide Noah is the best man to ask. “Noah…”
He looks at me and raises his brow. “Yeah?”
Taking a long breath, I grimace as I ask. “Did we… I mean… if we narrowed the target area if we gave your team an exact location, could you have gotten in quicker and then this wouldn’t have happened?”
He furrows his brows and shakes his head. “Don’t! Don’t do that. This is not our fault, Everly. More importantly, this is not your fault. Okay? We gave the team the information we had, the only information we could, and Jack certainly wouldn’t have sent us in there if they thought the intel was bad. Do not go down that road, this is not on you or me. It was an accident.”
Sniffing, I nod and sigh as he leans in embracing me as I try to take on his words. He’s right, Jack wouldn’t have let them go in if he didn’t think the intel was sound. But I still can’t help feeling like this is somehow my fault.
“C’mon, you want to come and see him?” Noah asks making me snap my head around and look at him wide-eyed.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. C’mon.”
I don’t know what to expect as I follow Noah back down the hallway to Luca’s room. Just as we approach the doorway, members of Luca’s team begin to file out and head in the opposite direction, Kace leading the way followed by Axel, and Eli.
“I need to go with them. Kace needs me to go over some video footage that another team is right now trying to recover from the bunker.”
I pause. “Do you think they’ll get much information from what was left inside?”
Noah shrugs, but I can tell by the way his brows are tightly knit together that he isn’t optimistic about their chances. “We have to do our best,” he offers finally, before placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. “I’m gonna need your help. But for now…” his eyes drift toward the closed door as we both hear laughter coming from inside, “… good luck.”
He jogs after Kace and the others as I place my sweaty hand on the door handle and slowly twist, nervous and anxious about what I’m going to find inside. I just have to remember that Luca’s going to come out of this. He’s fine. It isn’t life or death. But I still need to be there to support him as he fights to get his strength back. And I know in my gut that it’s going to be a fight. He’s strong, and he can do it.
The door swings closed behind me, and I scan the room. My eyes first go to the bed, and I chew on my lip to stop myself from letting out a shocked gasp as I take in the state of Luca’s body, and his face. The left side of his cheek is swollen and bruised. His left eye is forced closed from the puffy flesh around it. His skin is also raw and scraped, it’s as if someone has dragged sandpaper down the side of his cheek. The wounds still fresh, but luckily by the looks of it, not deep enough to cause any kind of scarring when they heal.
I’m sure that will make him happy, at least. He’s quite fond of his pretty boy looks.
The damage continues down the left side of his upper body which is on display, the scratchy hospital sheet only covering his hips and below, leaving his naked chest and arms on display. Apart from the bruising and a few scratches, the rest of him still looks in pristine condition.
“Man, you don’t need any more morphine, put the fucking button down.” My eyes are drawn to Blair as he scolds Luca, his deep glare focused on the button that Luca holds in his hand. Tanner just stands to the side shaking her head, while Jack’s sitting in the corner, his attention focused on his cell phone.
“I’m fine. They said that if I need it, I could have it,” Luca slurs, and my eyes widen as I watch him hit the button with glee, and slowly but surely sink back into the cushions he has supporting him. “So much better,” he whispers in euphoria as the drugs move through his system, keeping the pain at bay and allowing him to relax comfortably.
I shuffle forward nervously, my shoes squeaking against the floor and drawing all the eyes to me. I freeze as Luca’s gaze meets mine. At first, his brows pull together as though he’s confused, trying to figure out what I’m doing here. My heart skips a beat as I think that maybe he might force me out. Perhaps he will be too proud to let me sit with him and support him.
Luca can be unpredictable at times. While sometimes he’s confident and cocky about his abilities, there are other times I’ve noticed that he’ll pull back, not wanting to be the center of attention. And it’s usually those times when he’ll be the most serious because he’s taken the time to sit back and process the information that he’s been given, and is fully aware of how one wrong step can impact the people around him.
Part of me is hoping and praying for him to be in that mode. I know once I offer to help, he might possibly fight me. Refuse to be babied. Because he’s fucking hardheaded, and also because he’s been through so much shit in his lifetime and pulled himself through it alone, that he feels like he can’t rely on anyone else.
If he took the time to think about it, he would see that at this point he does need someone, and I just hope that someone will be me.
The other part of me, the selfish part, just wants to see the normal Luca, the one who laughs and jokes and pretends like there’s nothing wrong. Because that would make me feel better about the whole situation.
“Hey sexy lady,” Luca finally drawls, the confused look gone, replaced by that cocky, douchebag-ish smirk that made me want to kick him in the nuts the first day we met. Since then, he’s toned it down, and while I still get the jokes and lewd comments they are less creepy, and more like a private joke. “Why don’t you come over here?” He rubs his hand across the bed beside him, the action making me pull back and screw my nose up. “You can be my private nurse.”
“Tone it down, idiot. You’re gonna make her run for the hills,” Tanner warns from where she’s standing in the corner, her arms folded across her chest. Her dark hair is hanging over her face, her skin still stained with dirt and who knows what else from their mission. The tone of her voice is sharp and entirely unimpressed. She’s obviously not holding any punches because he’s hurt.
I’m still confused.
I just stand here, frowning, my lips pursed tightly together, unable to find any kind of words to explain how I’m feeling at this moment.
I don’t even really know how I’m feeling.
I’m used to Luca and his ridiculous comments, but suddenly, they feel different.
They feel dirty.
“You’re just jealous, Tanner,” Luca cackles, turning to look at her. He cringes when his face rubs against the not so soft hospital pillow, the painful look coming across his face making it feel like someone has my heart in their hand and they’re squeezing it.
It makes me shoot forward and rush to his bedside. “Stop moving,” I order, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it to gain his attention. “You need to rest.”
His eyes turn to me, lighting up. I instantly see the haze that covers them, the drugs blurring the lines inside his head, not allowing him to sink into that place where he can consider his words or his actions. They’re there to keep him pain-free, and while I am thankful for that at least, I don’t like the rest.
His hand reaches out for me, grasping the front of my shirt and pulling me forward. “Come snuggle with me, Everly.” His tongue struggles to get around the syllables of my name as I try to pull back. Even drugged up to the hilt, he’s still stronger than I am. “Come on, I could use some kind of relief.”
“Luca,” Jack shouts suddenly, standing to his feet. “Stop it! Now.”
My anger flares and I try to pull my shirt from his fingers, but as I’m distracted he tugs on my shirt, and I land on top of his chest. His arms instantly go around me as he cuddles me tightly like I’m a fucking teddy bear.
“Mmm, I like to cuddle you, Everly. And man, this booty…” One of his hands lands with a sharp sting on my ass, and I scream before his fingers dig in almost as painfully.
It’s only a few seconds before I feel his hands being ripped away, and my body being lifted into the air and carried to the end of the bed. I stare in shock as Tanner stands beside the bed, shaking her head as she holds on tightly to one of his hands while Jack stands opposite holding the other.
Blair is behind me, but I feel the rage rolling off him in waves. He takes a step forward. “This is why you need to cut the fucking drugs, Luca,” he spits, pointing at his friend who can only stare ahead in confusion, not realizing what just happened or what he’s done. There’s innocence in his eyes, and that’s all thanks to the doses of morphine he’s filling his body with, not allowing his common sense or ability to reason come through. “You could have hurt her, and you could have hurt yourself.”
With that, Blair storms out, the door to the room slamming closed with a resounding bang, making me jump. Tanner pushes Luca’s hand away. He looks up at her, and she shakes her head, an unexpected look of disappointment washing over her. “Sort it out,” she sighs, looking sad and almost defeated. “You act like a pig, you’re gonna end up face first in the mud.” With that she turns and heads for the door, calling out to Blair when she hits the hallway.
Luca’s eyes meet mine, I can tell that he has no idea what just happened. He knows that people are upset, and he’s thrown by it, but I don’t even think he realizes why.
My body’s shaking, my heart telling me it’s okay, that once the drugs wear off, he’ll be back to the Luca I’ve come to know. But my head’s screaming at me to walk away before things get any worse.
What if Blair is right, and he can’t kick them?
What if the drugs take over?
“Everly, I think you should go,” Jack murmurs calmly as he steps away from Luca’s bedside and heads toward me, spreading his hands wide to usher me from the room. His words are obviously not a request.
I back away just as Luca reaches for the button again, the whole scene that just happened, completely gone from his mind already.
Tears burn my eyes, but I allow Jack to direct me toward the door, opening it for me and waiting until I step out. He holds the door, a solemn look on his face, his eyes avoiding mine. “We’ll be shipping him back to Washington in a couple days when everything settles down. It’s probably better if you just leave it until then.”
I lick my lips, they’re dry, my heart still racing and my head just… I don’t even know. I feel strange. Confused. “Do you… uh… want me to stay?”
Jack shakes his head. “Noah will be heading back on a plane within the hour, with the information and records they pulled from the bunker. He will need help, and that’s far more important. Luca will be fine.” He looks over his shoulder, and the sounds of soft snores fill my ears. “He will be fine… I’ll make sure of it.”
I swallow a hard lump in my throat but just nod in agreement, hoping Jack will be the one who’ll be able to talk some sense into Luca, and when he comes off the drugs that he won’t remember what happened so, I can forget it too.