“She’s gone,” I said to Alice. We were sitting outside of Luna’s preschool waiting for her. “She just left.”

“You stood her up, Lucas,” she said. “What did you expect?”

“I didn’t mean to,” I said, gritting my teeth. “You know what happened. Luna broke her arm. I had to take her to the hospital and I didn’t have my phone. If Ellie would just let me explain—”

“Look at it from her point of view,” Alice said. “You up and left her once to get back with your wife. Then you say you want her back, you flirt, you go on a date. And then you stand her up again. I would leave, too.”

I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

“I know,” I said. “I just want to explain to her what happened.”

“You going to go find her?” Alice asked.

“I assume she went back home,” I said. “I might start there, see if I can track her down.”

“Don’t be weird about it, Lucas,” Alice said. “If she says she doesn’t want to see you, you need to come back home and leave her alone.”

“I will. But I have to give it one last shot.”

“I’ll keep Luna as long as you want,” Alice said, turning when the school bell rang to see Luna skipping out to us, her arm in a bright pink cast that had been signed by all of her friends. Luna had taken easily to having a broken arm and was rather proud of her cast, something that I was relieved about. I didn’t think I could take it to know that it was constantly bothering her, but it didn’t even seem to affect her as she played like she normally did.

“Hi, Daddy,” she said brightly as we got into the car.

“Hi, baby. How was your day?”

“It was good!” she said excitedly. She flopped her legs on Alice in the car and we drove back home. The entire time, I thought about Ellie. Alice was right. I had one last chance to try and see her, to try to win her back before I looked like a total creep. I didn’t know what exactly I was going to do when I saw her, but I knew I couldn’t waste the opportunity.

I left the next day, nervous on the whole flight. I hated flying anyway, but it was compounded by the fact that I knew when I saw Ellie there would be a look of anger on her face, of hurt and betrayal. Alice was right—there was no excuse for not calling Ellie the night Luna had fallen out of the tree and broken her arm. I’d owed her that, especially after disappearing on her the first time.

I flew into the airport and rented a car, driving about three hours to get to Ellie’s hometown in western Kansas. It was a long, flat, boring drive, one that gave me no choice but to dwell on the anxiety racing within me. I wished I could calm down, but I knew that everything was at stake here. This was it—the last opportunity I would have to get the love of my life back with me where she belonged. I knew that’s what Ellie was—she was perfect for me, the one that I was meant to spend my life with, and I had to tell her that before we went our separate ways forever otherwise it would eat me alive for the rest of my life.

I got to her hometown late and checked into a motel there, but ended up staying up all night. I paced a lot, going back and forth, trying to think of some big romantic gesture that might win Ellie back. I could think of nothing. She wasn’t that type of girl, one that could be won over by gifts or grand displays of affection. I needed to convince her somehow that I was completely dedicated to her in every way, that I would put her first above everybody in my life other than my daughter.

I wasn’t sure where to start the next day, but then I remembered that Ellie had mentioned that her friend worked at a local coffee shop in town. I decided to start there, looking up the address on my phone to see it was only a few blocks away. I left the motel and started to walk, looking around as I did. It was a cute town, quaint, with several little shops along the main street. The houses were old, mostly Victorian-style, two and three massive stories with wraparound porches and well-maintained gardens in front.

I got to the coffee shop, pausing before I went in. I didn’t even know if Ellie was there or not, but I knew wherever I went in this town, there was a risk of running into her. I didn’t even know what I’d say when I saw her, other than try to explain myself. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be enough. There was more to Ellie leaving than the fact I’d stood her up. She kept running—running was what she did when she got afraid. Only I wasn’t going to let her run this time, not without saying what I needed to say.

There was a girl standing at the counter, who looked up at me with a smile.

“Hi,” she said. “Welcome to the Perk.”

“Hi,” I said, walking up to the counter. “I hope this isn’t too strange, but would your name happen to be Heather?”

Her face went suspicious. “You a cop?”

“What? No,” I said. “I’m—my name is Lucas Sanders. I’m a friend of Ellie’s.”

She stared at me, her eyes narrowing.

“You’re not Ellie’s friend,” she said.

“Please,” I said to her. “I just—”

A customer came up behind me, cutting me off. I moved to the side to allow the woman to order, sitting down at a table until she was finished. I got up again to go back to the counter, but Heather put her hand up to stop me.

“I’m taking a break in twenty minutes,” she said. “We can talk. But I’m not going to let you see Ellie. I’m not letting you get anywhere near her.”

“Okay,” I said, knowing there was no use fighting right now. I would try to explain myself to Heather and try to get her to see my side of the situation. All I could do was hope that she could empathize with the reasons I’d treated Ellie the way I had. I regretted every bit of it, no matter what the reason, but I couldn’t take it back now.

I waited at the table, feeling impatient to talk to Heather. It seemed like one of the longest twenty minutes of my life, like time wasn’t passing at all. When she was ready for her break, she came out from behind the counter and gestured for me to follow her outside. We went around the corner to an alley and she lit a cigarette, staring at me with cold, hard eyes.

“Why are you here, Lucas?” she asked. “Why don’t you just leave her alone?”

“I love her,” I said, the words coming out as fiercely as I felt them. “Ellie is the love of my life. I have to fight for her.”

“Then you should have fought for her. You shouldn’t have abandoned her not once, but twice. Twice, you totally let her down. You crushed her.”

“I made a huge mistake the first time. A massive mistake. I should have never given in to Maria, I know that. But the night I stood Ellie up, Luna broke her arm. I didn’t have my phone on me and I was panicking. I didn’t even think about Ellie, I—”

“Exactly,” Heather said. “You didn’t even think about Ellie. Because she’s just an afterthought to you. I know guys like you. All you wanted from her was sex, and once you got it, you treated her like shit.”

“It wasn’t just about sex,” I said, my words coming out more forcefully than I wanted them to. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. “It could never be just about sex with Ellie. I just—I want to talk to her. I want to explain about Luna. I want to—I want to tell her that I will love her for the rest of my life, even if she sends me away. I have to tell her that.”

She peered at me, studying my face, trying to assess whether or not I was being genuine. I didn’t try to hide anything; I knew the emotions were clear on my face. The desperation, the hopelessness, the need to see her.

“Ellie’s pregnant,” she said after a moment.

I gaped at her, my mouth dropping open. “She’s what?”

“Pregnant. I don’t know how far along.”

“Is she—is she keeping it?”

She gave me a dry look. “Yes.”

“And she wasn’t going to tell me,” I said.

“No, she wasn’t. She wants to raise it alone. She doesn’t want you to be a part of this.”

“So why did you tell me?” I asked, frustrated, running my hand through my hair. I was filled with shock and anger. “If there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Because I think you do love Ellie. I know you love Ellie. And I know she loves you,” Heather said. “I also know that she runs when she gets scared.”

“She does,” I said.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” she said. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it. Ellie’s pretty stubborn. She made up her mind about you.”

“There has to be some way I can convince her,” I said. “If she’s having my child, I need to be there. I can’t just let her do it by herself.”

“Ellie deserves a partner. Her baby deserves a father,” Heather said, then her eyes went hard. “And if I help you and you let her down one more time, I swear to god I will track you down and wring your neck. I don’t care whose baby daddy you are.”

I could see in her face that she was dead serious. “So you’re going to help me?”

“I’m going to help you get the chance to talk to her. That’s all I can do. I can’t convince her to do anything. I don’t even know if I can really convince her to hear you out. But I’m going to try.”

“I want to plan for it,” I said. “I don’t just want—I don’t just want to show up at her house. I need this to be perfect if I’m going to win her back and convince her to trust me.”

“So what are you going to do? Some grand romantic gesture?”

I rubbed my hand over my mouth. “I don’t know. I’m going to think about it.”

“Well, think quick,” she said. “I get off in a couple of hours. Let me know what your plan is then.”

“Okay,” I said. “Thank you so much, Heather. I really—I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“I’m serious. I’ll kill you if you hurt her again. Especially now that she’s pregnant.”

“I won’t,” I vowed. There was no way I was going to mess up again. I was going to spend the rest of my life with Ellie and our family.