There are at least ten parties going on tonight and we’re going to make our rounds, but first, Lane wants me to meet her on the dock for a private celebration. I grin to myself knowing this will be the last night we have to hide in order to have sex. This time tomorrow Lane and I will be out on the open road, making our way with no solid plan, going in whatever direction the music takes us.
I know she has her doubts. She expresses them nearly every day, but I know she doesn’t really mean them. Once I get her out on the road everything will be fine. I just have to prove it to her that I can make it as a musician. I want her to be proud of me.
She’s already waiting for me at the end of the dock. Her long brown hair falls in waves around her shoulders. The loose strands blow idly in the light breeze coming in off the lake. A tight jean skirt and cream colored shirt accentuates the deep tan she’s already gotten even though it’s only the beginning of summer. My girl is so damn beautiful. I’m a very lucky guy.
Excitement overtakes me and I rush down and scoop her up in my arms, lifting her off the ground. “We did it, babe. Can you believe it?”
She laughs in my arms. “I’m so proud of you, Noel.”
I nuzzle my nose into her hair. “Not as proud as I am of you. You aced every single test they threw at you. You’re a fucking genius. When I become a famous rock star, I’ll pay for your tuition—anywhere you want to go.”
“Noel—”
I cut her off, not allowing her a chance to argue with me. “Anywhere. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Lane frowns. “I can’t let you do that.”
I furrow my brow. “Of course you can. You’ll deserve it. It’ll make the little bit of struggle we have to go through at first totally worth it.”
“Noel—” I cut her off again while I go on about the fancy house and cars I’m going to buy her, and she pushes on my chest.
I frown and set her on her feet. “What’s wrong?”
Her delicate fingers rub her forehead before running through her hair. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”
I trail my hand up the bare skin on her arm and then stop when it reaches a strand of her hair. I wrap it around of my finger suddenly nervous about what she has to say. There’s a slight quiver in her voice, and that’s never a good sign. That only happens to her when she’s nervous, and there’s not one thing she should be nervous to tell me.
I lick my lips. “Whatever it is, just tell me. We’ll get through it together.”
Lane shakes her head. “This time we won’t.”
I take her face in my hands and force her to look into my eyes. “Lane, you’re not making any sense.”
She closes her eyes. “This is so hard.”
I feel her tense under my touch as a tear falls down her face and my heart falls to the pit of my stomach. Lane never cries and it’s something I can’t stand to see. “Please don’t cry. Baby, I’ll fix it. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”
She opens her green eyes and stares at me, her eyes searching my face for answers. “Don’t leave tomorrow.”
I flinch. “The way you just said that makes it sound like I’ll be leaving by my self.”
“You will be if you go,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “No. You promised you were going with me.”
“I can’t go with you, Noel.”
I drop my hands from her face. “What do you mean, you can’t? We talked about this since freshman year.”
“Exactly,” she cries. “We had no clue what we were talking about back then. Things change, Noel. I don’t know why this is such a huge shock to you. I’ve been telling you for the last year that I want to go to college.”
“I didn’t think you were serious. Damn, Lane. Why are you waiting until just now to tell me this? We had a plan.”
“You had a plan. Not me. Not one time have you asked me what I wanted!”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Yes I have.”
“No. No you haven’t. Have you heard anything I said about going to college and living in a dorm?”
“I heard you. I just didn’t think you were serious.” I sigh. “I can’t believe you’d pick going to college over being with me.”
“That’s the same way I feel every time you pick music over me.”
“I never pick music over you!”
“No? If I won’t go with you, are you going to go anyway?” she challenges.
“Yes! Because that’s been our plan.” I raise my voice, completely frustrated by this blindside. “Music is my fucking life. You know that. It’s all I have.”
“You had me.” Lane bites her plump, bottom lip as forces a cry back. “This is the end for us.”
My heart squeezes so hard in my chest that panic starts setting in. “Please, Lane. Don’t do this.”
She kisses my cheek. “Goodbye, Noel.”
My body turns completely numb as she turns and runs away from me. I should pull it together and go after her and force her to understand and try harder at convincing her to come with me, but I can’t move. The idea that Lanie Vance is no longer mine hits me hard and I drop to my knees, shaking uncontrollably. I fist my hair in my hands and allow myself to cry for the loss of the only girl I’ll ever really love.