What the hell did I agree to? That’s the only thought that keeps flitting through my mind as I stare straight ahead on our car ride back to the house. This little game is dangerous. Trip is dangerous. I know that. Every sense in my body screams it. It’s worrisome that I’ve agree to act like Trip and I are an item, considering I know that I’m attracted to him physically, but what he was offering was too sweet of a deal to turn down. Jackson needs to see that I can move on and that my life doesn’t revolve around him. I can’t let him know he nearly broke me.
When I was seventeen, Jackson Cruze was my everything. Even now, it’s a hard to pretend I don’t feel something for him. I’ve drooled over him since I was old enough to like boys in the first place. The moment he came to my father’s track and flashed his dimples at me I was a goner. Jackson was my first real crush, my first boyfriend, and the first guy I ever fell in love with—that all means something to me. What he did to me doesn’t instantly erase all that, although I wish it would. As much as I hate it, I want him back.
Trips downshifts the Mustang as we round the corner and slow down. He pulls into the drive leading to the office and our house. “Where should I park?”
I point to our house. “You can pull up there since you’re staying with us.”
His eyes slide in my direction. “That’ll help you know.”
“What?”
“Me living with you. It’ll drive Jackson nuts knowing we’re probably sleeping together every night.”
I shake my head. “I think you’re wrong about him. He won’t be that jealous over me. He left me, remember?”
He cuts the ignition and sets his gaze on me. “He wants you. He wouldn’t have attempted to push my buttons by making a date with you in front of me if he wasn’t. Jackson wants me to know I’m treading in his territory.”
“Jeesh, you make it sound like it’s a pissing contest.”
“In a manner of speaking, it is. In his eyes, the man that fights for you the hardest will win. We just have to see how far he’s willing to take this.”
“What if he doesn’t?” I drop my head down, hating the thought of being rejected by Jackson yet again.
Trip softly pinches my chin and forces me to look into his eyes. “He will. You’re worth fighting for. Any idiot can see that. Now that he sees you’ve moved on so easily He knows he was a fool for ever letting you go. It’s his turn to feel the sting of rejection. Trust me, he wants you back.”
My mouth drifts open and I stare at Trip’s inviting lips. He’s not at all like I expected. When I first laid eyes on him, I wanted him. But after I saw how our kiss meant nothing to him, I assumed he was just another lame asshole who only cared about getting some ass. This side of him though, is caring and helpful. It makes him even more appealing, which is a very bad thing. It’s wrong to want him, especially considering he’s helping me win back the affection of another man.
His eyes search my face, before he ultimately decides to release me. “It’s getting late. We’d better go inside so I can unpack and get a good night’s rest. We’ve got an old boyfriend jealous tomorrow, remember?”
I swallow hard and nod in agreement still looking into his eyes. “Sleeping with you would be good.” He laughs and I quickly throw my hand over my mouth. I immediately try to correct my mistake. “I mean, sleeping would be good.” This only makes him laugh harder and I let out a frustrated breath. “Stop. You know what I meant.”
I want to shove my head in a pile of desert sand.
“I think it was a subconscious slip,” he says, adjusting his hat and winking at me before he opens his door to get out.
I trail behind him after I shut the car door behind me. “It was not.”
He steps up onto the porch and leans against the house right by the door. I feel his heated gaze on me while I fish the keys from my pocket. “Keep telling yourself that, sweetness. It’s okay to admit you’d like to fuck me, because I think it’s pretty clear I’d like the same thing. It’s too bad we can’t now that we’re co-workers and co-conspirators. I’m pretty sure that’d be bad for business.”
“Shhhh,” I scold him. “My dad might hear you.” I growl when the second key I try in the lock doesn’t work. “Come on.”
Trip leans down and whispers in my ear, “I know just the thing to relieve that tension.”
I lift my shoulder, trying to shove him out of my ear as I allow the door to fly open. “Yes.”
He chuckles as he follows me inside. “That was pretty enthusiastic. I can only imagine what that would sound like when you’re—”
The lights flip on in the foyer and Trip quickly closes his mouth, while my cheeks burn even hotter. No one wants their parents to hear a conversation like that.
Dad tightens his paper-thin blue robe around his small waist and glances up at the clock above our heads. “I wondered when you two would get back. Dinner’s in the refrigerator if you’re hungry.”
Guilt pours over me. “Sorry, Dad. I should’ve check with you before I agreed to go out to eat with Trip. We should’ve invited you.”
He rubs his eyes. “It’s okay. I was really tired anyhow. Well, now that I know you’re home safe, I’m heading back to bed.”
“Are you still feeling sick?” I ask, completely concerned.
His weight-loss and coupled with how exhausted he’s felt lately has me a bit worried. Dad’s always on the go. The idea that he’s in bed so early, so often, is odd for him. He typically has more energy than I do.
He nods. “A little. I hope a few more days of hitting the sack early will perk me up out of this funk I’ve been fighting these last couple of months.”
“I think it’s time you make a doctor’s appointment. You’ve felt like this for way too long.” We’ve been over this before, and I hate to push the subject, but I’m worried.
“I can’t, Holly. They’ll want to do all sorts of tests we can’t afford. If it gets too bad, I’ll go. I promise.” Dad offers a small hint of a smile. “Well, goodnight, kids. I’ll see you both down at the office bright and early. Trip, we’ll get you out on the track tomorrow so you can check it.”
Trip nods and smiles. “Sounds good.”
Dad turns and shuts himself back in his bedroom and I stare at the door. Whatever is going on with him, I don’t like it.
I turn towards Trip. “Do you have bags in your car that need to be carried up?”
“I have a duffel bag.”
“That’s it for an entire month?”
He shrugs. “I’m used to being on the road a lot. Packing light becomes second nature when you get tired of carrying around a ton of shit. Besides, I figured wherever I stayed would have a washer and dryer. It’s not like I’ll run around like a homeless bum.”
That makes me curious about him and his money-bags boss. Is he looking at another track, too? Do we have competition on this deal? “You check out a lot of tracks for this investor?”
“This is the first one, actually.”
I raise an eyebrow. “So, what else do you check out for him? I know cattle farmers can’t possibly travel that much. Who would feed the livestock?”
Trip scratches the back of his head, almost like he’s nervous and it takes him a while to answer me. “I’m not actually a cow farmer.”
I smile. “I never believed for a second you were. What is it that you actually do?”
“I’m a personal assistant to a musician.” His answer is simple and makes much more sense. I’d never seen a farmer who looked like him before. A biker? Yes. A guy in a rock band? Yes. A farmer? No.
Since he’s opening up to me, I wonder if I can get him to spill the secret of the investor’s identity. “Now that, I believe. So tell me, is this investor a musician?”
Trip shakes his head and takes a step backwards to the door. “I’ll never tell.”
“Come on. I just want to know who is interested, that’s all. I can keep a secret. I swear.” Even I can hear the little whine in my voice, but knowing who might become out partner in the business is vital. If it’s the right person, we can use their celebrity status to draw in bigger events.
His hand rests on the doorknob. “Sorry, sweetness. I can’t give you that information. It’ll ruin everything.”
“Will we ever find out?” I question.
Trip opens the door and glances up at me with a smile on his lips. “You will, when the time is right.”
“Can I at least have a hint?”
He tilts his head. “Let’s call him Mr. Snare.”
My eyes widen as the last name clicks. “He’s a drummer?”
He shoots me a cocky grin that almost makes me weak in the knees. “Maybe.”
Before I get a chance to ask any more questions he slips out the door.
I turn and grab the handrail as I walk slowly up the stairs trying to pinpoint what drummer could possibly be the investor. Dad’s friend at the bank told him he didn’t have much information either, only that the person investing wanted to remain undisclosed until Trip thoroughly investigates the place and reports back to him. If the person investing is some rock star that could be great for business. It can kind of be what Carey Hart did for the tattoo business in Las Vegas. His name alone draws people to that shop he owns there.
This is excellent news.
I shut myself in my room and grab my laptop off the nightstand. Surely I’ll be able to find something.
I enter drummer into the search field and wait on the results. I groan. Over five million results pop up. “This is ridiculous. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”
I push the screen down before I place it away. There’s no way I can ever figure out who it is by going through that mess.
I lay back, falling into stack of pillows behind me on my full size bed. My finger traces patterns on the blue bedspread as I allow my mind to wander at what the future for this place may hold. I close my eyes and try to picture the bands I know. Not many individual members of bands come to mind. When I think of a band, I think of them as a whole. I’ve never really had the desire to study individual members of a band. I can’t even name five drummers.
I don’t even know where to start. Trip didn’t say if it’s a new band, or a retired one or what. The chances of me figuring this out on my own aren’t very good. I could try looking up Trip, but unless he’s got a website, which I doubt, linking him with the band, that probably won’t be very helpful. It would be a further waste of my time.
I’m going to have to get him to tell me himself.
The image of Trip smiling as he backed out of the door pops in my head. He’s dangerously sexy. His smile alone is hot enough to nearly melt my panties right off my body.
For the past couple years, Jackson has been the only man I’ve thought of, so it’s hard to tell my brain that it’s okay to move on and find other men attractive. Take Trip for example—as much as I hate to admit it to myself, Trip is exactly my type of guy. He’s cocky, sexy, and yet still has an excellent sense of humor. I can’t believe he’s willing to help me make Jackson jealous. It’s sweet and he couldn’t possibly understand how much that means to me.
It sucked to find out that all the years we spent together meant nothing to Jackson—that he thought so little of me that he could throw me out like a piece of candy that had lost its flavor. It changes everything when you find out what you thought was real is a lie. I am hurt and I’ll admit that I want to hurt him back.
If Trip is right, and the sight of the two of us together bothers Jackson, it’ll be the best payback I can ask for.
At some point while all that was running through my head I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I know a steady stream of sunlight pours through the window, hitting me in the eyes.
Shit. I’m late. The regular riders like an early start when they come to ride on open track day.
I throw my hand over my face to shield myself from the glare as I sit up and gain my bearings. I place both feet on the hardwood floor below me and push myself off the bed, tugging my nightshirt down around my thighs on my way to the bathroom.
I yawn as I open the door to answer nature’s morning call. My yawn quickly turns into a sucked-in breath as my wide eyes land on a tanned, toned, and very naked Trip, standing at the bathroom counter, brushing his teeth. My eyes zero in on his mid-section, and promptly widen. Oh. My. God! His dick is right there on display for the world to see. Okay, maybe not the world, but I certainly have an eyeful.
Quickly, I turn my head to keep myself from staring any longer as heat creeps up my neck before settling in my cheeks. “What are you doing?!”
“What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m brushing my teeth. Oral hygiene is very important,” he says with his mouth full.
I sigh but it almost sounds like a growl. “I meant why are you naked?”
“Um, you’re supposed to be naked in the shower.” I don’t even have to see his face to know he’s smiling and having a good time with this.
I grab a white towel off the rod on the wall and thrust it in his direction. “Here. Cover that thing up.”
He spits in the sink and then his deep laugh fills the tiny bathroom as he takes the towel. “Thing? What are we in fifth grade? It’s a cock, Holly. Call it what it is.”
I peek out the corner of my eye and Trip flings the towel over his shoulder, turning so I can get a full view of his mouth-watering naked form. “That was to go around your waist.”
He leans causally against the counter. Obviously he’s not a bit shy about being completely naked in front of me. “Look, men want women who aren’t afraid to talk dirty. This can be our first lesson in how to catch a guy’s interest. If you want me to cover up, quit being a scared little virgin, and grab my attention. Look me in the eye and tell me to cover my cock.”
I roll my eyes. “This is ridiculous.”
“You want my help or not?” When I don’t answer right away, he drums his fingers on the counter. “I’m waiting … I can stand here like this all day. I have no problem showing off what God blessed me with, and when I say blessed, well, you know. You’ve seen it.” He chuckles.
My lips pull into a tight line. As much as I hate the idea of sinking to this embarrassing level with him, I know deep down he’s right. I’ve always heard men like their women to be the sinner and the saint. I need to suck it up and do this. I want to prove to Jackson and everyone else that there’s more to me than just this straight-laced good girl that they all think I am.
His green eyes burn into mine the moment our gaze meets. “Cover your fucking cock, you dirty manwhore.”
He smirks and pulls the towel off his shoulder slowly with one hand. The tattoos etched into the smooth skin of his arms, shoulders and chest catch my eye as Trip wraps the towel around his waist. “There may be hope for you after all, sweetness. We’ve still got a lot of work to do, though. We’ve got to keep working on making that pretty little mouth of yours dirty.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “Fine. We will. Now, can you please get out so I can pee?”
“Sure thing.” Trip winks at me before squeezing past me, slapping my ass on his way out.
My skin burns from his touch, and I rub my backside to console it. “Hey!”
“Just warming that booty up for later. Get used to my touch, babe.” He holds his hands up and makes a grabbing motion with his hands while his back stays to me. “These things are going to be all over you today.”
“Ugh.” I close the door a little harder than I mean to in order to get away from him. No matter what, I have to remind myself it’s important to be nice to Trip. He’s helping me with the two most important things in my life: this track, and getting back with Jackson.
I stare at myself in the mirror and study my reflection as I curse myself for allowing him to get to me. I need to learn to let things go and stop getting riled up so quickly.
I toss my hair over my shoulder and turn on the water. My blue eyes stare back at me as I wait for the water to warm up. The vision of Trip smiling and flexing his fingers as he talks about groping me floats through my mind. I wish the thought of his strong hands being all over me didn’t make my stomach flutter the way it’s doing right now. Damn him.
I throw some water on my face and glance back at the clock on the wall behind me. It’s not as late as I thought. I’ve got time for my normal routine. I pull my shirt over my head and take off my underwear in order to grab a quick shower. I slide the shower curtain back and turn on the water just as the bathroom door flings open.
I yank the shower curtain over my naked body and stagger at the same moment I pivot.
Trip’s large hand grabs my elbow to steady me. “You all right there?”
I jerk away from him. I don’t like the idea of him touching me while I’m completely naked. “Don’t you knock?”
“You didn’t, so I figured our relationship had already progressed to the ‘no knocking’ level.”
I shove his shoulder towards the open door, careful to keep the plastic wrapped around me. “Well it hasn’t, now get out.”
He holds up his hands. “Easy. I just came for my toothbrush and deodorant. I promise I won’t peek, unless you want me to.”
“Get out,” I order.
“Say please.” I narrow my eyes at him and he raises his eyebrow. “Our deal …”
This is literally killing me. “Ugh. Fine. Please, get out.”
He grabs his stuff off the counter and grins. “Only because you begged. I can’t ever turn a woman down when she begs me to do something for her.”
I fight the urge to scream at him, and tell him I’ve changed my mind and our deal isn’t worth it when he laughs at me yet again. I want to, but I won’t. I need to see this thing through. I’m tired of thinking about Jackson all the time. Even I know it’s pathetic, this little deal with Trip will help me see these feelings I’ve been harboring through. Jackson will either want me back, or he’ll continue to pretend that what we had was nothing—which will tell me it’s really over.
Either way, I’m ready to move on with my life. I need a new direction, and I want to find someone who actually wants me.