This isn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. I roll my suitcase through the parking lot and try to stay out of all the road crews way as they push and pull amps and speakers toward the arena. I’m not even sure what city we’re in, let alone how to find a place to run away to in order to avoid running into Noel. 

“Lanie?” I hear my name spoke by an unfamiliar voice and I turn. It’s the bodyguard that’s always herding Noel’s fans away. Noel probably sent him to find me. Great.

“Oh, hey, Mike.” I reply as coolly as I can and hope he doesn’t notice the heavy-ass bag I’m toting around with me. 

His eyes drop down on my hot-pink luggage. “You going somewhere?”

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Um, yeah, actually. I need to find a hotel, but I’m not sure how to get out of this place or even what city we’re in, so I can Google a cab company.”

He frowns at me. “I can take you if you want.”

If he wasn’t so big, I’d wrap my arms around him and thank him profusely for saving my life. “That would be awesome.”

He smiles and for a second he loses that intimidating bear vibe and turns cuddly. “Come on, the Escalade is parked on the other side of the buses.”

Mike takes over the handle of my suitcase and starts walking. I don’t argue. With his muscles pulling that thing, we’ll get out of here twice as fast.

When the SUV comes in sight he hits a button of the key and the trunk opens. Mike shoves my bag inside and we both jump in the cab.

“What hotel do you want to go to?” he asks.

I shrug. “It doesn’t matter—the cheaper the better.”

He nods and backs out of the parking space. “The tour manager booked us all rooms at a local hotel. You’re more than welcome to have my room.”

“Oh, no, Mike. I can’t do that. You need your room.”

He laughs and shakes his buzz cut head. “Lanie, you’re welcome to it. I’ll bunk up with one of the other guys. It’s no big deal.”

As bad as I feel for taking his room, I agree to it. Being broke majorly sucks in emergencies like this. What little money I have left in my checking account will be spent on buying me a plane ticket back to New York where I belong.

My heart instantly sinks. I don’t belong there anymore either. Not only is my job at Center Stage Marketing flushed to hell, but that non-compete contract makes it impossible to get another marketing job in the city.

I’m royally screwed. 

Mike pulls the Escalade under the awning of the Hilton and opens my door after he grabs my bag. “Come on. I’ll check you in.”

I smile. He’s unbelievably nice. How can he work for a douche bag like Noel?

Mike walks up to the check-in desk and the blonde clerk blushes as she speaks with him. I can see why girls like him. He looks like he can lift you with one hand and plus has these amazingly cute dimples. 

He grins, while the attractive blonde writes down what appears to be her number and slides it across the counter to him. He folds the little scrap of paper and tucks it, along with his I.D., back into his wallet.

Mike waves bye to the girl and then turns to me with the hotel key-card. “Room 211, Lanie. Do you need me to help you with your bag?”

I shake my head and pat his arm. “Thank you, but no. You’ve done so much to help me already.”

The handle on my bag clicks as I pull it up. 

Mike tilts his head and pulls his mouth into a tight line. “You know, Lanie, he’s different with you. I’ve worked for him a long time and he’s mentioned you several times before, but I didn’t know how much he actually loves you, until he saw you again that first night in Houston.”

I bite my lip. It’s nice to hear confirmation of Noel’s feelings for me, but it doesn’t change the facts. “He’s having a baby, Mike, and he neglected to tell me about it.”

He frowns. “He has his reasons. All I’m saying is give him a chance to explain them to you. Maybe it’s not what you think.”

Before I can say anything else, Mike turns and heads for the exit. Noel’s lucky to have him. That guy seems to really care about him.

It takes me two tries to get the room unlocked and get inside.

 Stupid technology.

The room isn’t anything special—a typical king-sized bed type room. I sit my bag on the floor and flop back onto the bed. What the fuck am I going to do? I scrub my hand down my face. This is one big clusterfuck. 

My job is screwed. 

My love life is shit.

I sigh and dig my cell phone out of my pocket and search Aubrey’s number. “What’s up lucky girl? How’s that fine man of yours?”

I close my eyes. “Not good.”

They’re the only words I can get out before I start balling over the phone. I let it all go. The emotion and hurt I refused to let myself feel in front of Noel. Anger somehow put on the backburner as I allow my heart to break over the phone with my best friend.

“Aw, baby cakes, tell me what happened?” Aubrey sounds concerned.

It kills me to bring myself to admit to her what an awful person Noel is. “He’s such an asshole.”

She lets a heavy breath waft into the phone. “Did he hurt you? I’ll kill him if he laid a finger on you.”

I roll my eyes. “Nothing like that. He’s just…” I take a deep breath. “Noel has a girlfriend, Aubrey.”

“What!?” I rip the phone away from her shrill screech. “What do you mean he has a girlfriend?”

A tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away with the palm of my hand. It’s hard to say that out loud. “I guess he has for a while, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What can be any worse than that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Aubrey gasps. “Like, with a baby?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. She says it’s Noel’s.”

“Oh, my God. Screw the job, Lanie. Run away as fast as you can from that freak show. Come home.”

I can’t bring myself to tell her that Sophie is Riff’s ex. That will only make her feel weird, and this situation is fucked up enough as it is, without adding that to the mix. 

I sigh and think about catching the next flight back to New York, so I can wallow in my own apartment. Being anywhere around Noel Falcon is the last thing I want to do, which is why I’m here. To get some space and figure out what my next move is.

A knock on the door startles me. Damn, I should’ve put the do not disturb sign on the door since it’s still midmorning. “Just a minute,” I say.

“Who is that?” Aubrey questions. 

I shove myself up from the bed and start towards the door. “It’s probably just housekeeping.”

I pull the door open, expecting to find maid service, and my heart clenches in my chest. “What are you doing here?”

Noel shrugs with his hands in shoved deep his pockets. The neck of his red shirt hangs lose from the fight with Riff and his dark hair still wild. His face red and the sparkle in his blue eyes gone, replaced by dullness. He looks awful. “Can I come in?”

A sane person would slam the door in his face after telling him to take a flying leap. As much as I want to do that, I can’t bring myself to after looking at his face. He looks broken. 

Maybe he actually cares that I left? 

 I pull the door open and he squeezes past me so I can shut the door. I lean my forehead against the door and take a deep breath. “Aubrey, I’ll have to call you back.”

“Is it him?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She takes a breath. “Tell him to fuck off, Lanie. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

After I tell her okay, and she’s satisfied I’m about to throw him out on his ass, I end my call. He’s waiting in silence—waiting on me to make a move. Since I’ve already let him in, I have no choice but to face him—to hear him out. 

I turn around and lean against the door, but I can’t look at him. The worn carpet on the floor marks a path from the bed to the door. It makes me wonder how many happy couples spent romantic weekends in this room and if any ever went through anything like this situation—betrayal by a lover. 

Noel takes a step toward me and grabs my hand. I try to jerk away but he refuses to let go. “I know you hate me and never want to see me again, but I can’t let that happen. You mean everything to me, Lane. I don’t love Sophie. I never have, but I love you, more now than ever. I can’t lose you.”

My chest crunches tight at the sound of her name on his lips. A tear falls from my eye. “Why did you sleep with her, Noel? How could you betray Riff like that? More importantly, how could you keep this from me? We are not supposed to have secrets.”

He sighs and then brings my knuckles to his lips. “I don’t even remember her getting into my bed, to tell you the truth. I’m not always on my best behavior and, honestly, I was too wasted most of the time to remember much of anything, a few months ago. One morning, I woke up and there she was—completely fucking naked. I knew Riff would go through the fucking roof when Sophie told him what happened, so I bought her a plane ticket home.”

“You sent her home?”

He nods. “I wanted the problem gone. I felt like shit because I couldn’t believe that even in a fucked up state I could let that happen. Riff’s the only family I have. I would never dick him over like that, or so I thought. That’s why I sent her away—to fix things.”

“You don’t remember sleeping with Sophie at all?”

Noel frowns. “Nothing. That’s what kills me. I watched Riff call her a million times after he figured out she split, knowing at some point I would have to fess up to my shit. To be honest, I prayed Sophie would never tell him, but I knew she would. It’s just the kind of person she is.” He takes a ragged breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “She told him we’d slept together, and she could never go back with him after that.”

I shake my head. Poor Riff.

“Riff immediately hated me—despised me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain to him that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”

“Have you seen her since she left?”

He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either, not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom when I sleep with someone. I don’t know how this happened to me.”

I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”

Noel’s gaze flick to mine. “That’s because you’re you, Lane. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”

I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”

He sighs and then pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine and I felt sick. I always thought when I start a family it will be with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around out there that belongs to me makes me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”

Noel will make a great father and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought. 

I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”

He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut and all that.”

“But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”

“I know, but if it is, I want to be a better father than mine is to me. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend so I can, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”

“Do you know how absurd that sounds?”

Noel nods and his sets gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it, Lane, if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”

Mistakes can happen. I know this. I know Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world also doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel. 

“Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court for visitation? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney. 

“I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be apart of everything, if that’s my kid.”

“If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s…”

He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”

“But, it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.”

The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder. 

“I don’t think so.”

“How does Riff feel about all this?”

Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, things get…ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”  

He’s right. This whole situation sucks, especially for the band. I’ve seen the tension between the two, in action myself. I knew all that male territory marking was about more than just me. 

Noel drops my hand and then runs his fingers through his hair. His hands stay behind his head while he paces near the foot of the bed. I’ve never seen him like this before—torn between wanting me and needing to take responsibility for a fucked up mess. 

I can’t watch him fall apart like this. It’s not him. “Would you stop that? You’re making me nervous.”

He stops and sighs, before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both of his shoulders slump as his blue jeans strain against the length of his long, muscular legs. My eyes roam over his body. His chest heaves under his red t-shirt as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the ground. 

I can’t help but think this is one of the last times I’ll be locked alone in a room with Noel Falcon. This somehow feels like our goodbye. The accusation of always leaving because I’m second to him plays out, yet again. There’s no way I can stay with him while he’s caught up in all this baby-mama drama. 

A few quick steps and I find myself next to him. My body seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to Noel. The pull to him is crazy. I sit down next to him on the bed. Our hips and legs touch and I lift my hand hesitantly to rub his back. As much as I wish this wasn’t happening, he’s still one of my oldest friends and he’s hurting. 

He sighs and reaches over and grabs my other hand, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the delicate skin over my pulse point. Need zings through me and I squeeze my thighs tightly. 

“Thank you,” he whispers against my skin. “Thank you for staying with me.”

My lips turn down into a frown. He doesn’t know this is my goodbye to him. “Noel..,”

He brushes my lips with his fingertips. “Shhhhhh. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I just need to hear you say you love me. That this isn’t going to ruin us.”

I bite my bottom lip. Even though I’m unbelievably pissed at him, I can’t deny the feelings in my heart. I do love him, more than anything else, but I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman.

Noel’s eyes plead with me to tell him I love him, and that I still need him. 

I pull his fingers away from my lips and then bring both of my hands around to cup his face. He turns his head and kisses the palm of my hand. One last kiss is all I can bring myself to give him. I can’t tell him that I love him, even though I do madly, it will only lead him on. 

Every line and curve of his face I commit to memory. Never again will I hold him like this. 

I lean and press my lips to his and he shuts his eyes. He tenses and tentatively moves his lips with mine. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He feels it too. He knows me well enough to know, this is it for us. 

Noel wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. Panic surges through me. If he starts touching me, it’ll be over. It doesn’t take much from him to turn me on, and I know I can’t let my body overrule my head. 

I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. “Noel…I can’t.”

He opens his eyes. “Can’t or won’t?”

I shrug and drop my hands into my lap. “Does it really matter?”

“It matters to me, Lane. We can work this out. I just need some time to—”

I shake my head. “No, Noel. I can’t be that girl. I can’t be the girl who is second in your life. You’ve always known this about me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

He lays his hand on my thigh and my whole body tingles. “Would you’ve come here—been with me, if you’d have known? I wanted you here—with me—and when I saw my shot to make that happen, I took it.”

I cross my legs in attempt to create more space between us, but my body instinctively turns into him. “But you lied to me. I can’t forgive that.”

A harsh breath escapes his lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Lane.”

I move his hand off my thigh. “I believe you, but that doesn’t change the situation. I understand you feel like you need to be with Sophie. I do. But I can’t be apart of your life during all this.”

Noel tilts his head. “What are you saying?”

I take a deep breath. “I need you to leave.”

“Lane?”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “Please leave.”

“No. Don’t say that. Don’t shut me out.”

He’s not going to go willingly, and if I don’t end this now I might let him con me into staying with him, being second in his life. I gaze into his eyes try to look as hard as possible. “Noel, I’m done with you.”

He grabs my hand, and I jerk away from his grasp. “No.”

I shove myself off the bed. “Get the fuck out.”

Noel stands and steps in front of me. He leans into me, and I take a step back, bumping against the wall behind me. “You want me to go?”

“Yes.”

His eyes search my face while his warm breath hits my lips. Each of his hands goes on either side of me, effectively pinning me against the wall. Our thighs touch as he pushes against me. I swallow hard and try not to think about how close his body is to mine. His nose traces runs along my chin. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Noel kisses my chin, and I close my eyes. My head tips back. His lips feel amazing and my chest actually heaves. “You can really give this up? Won’t you miss how I make you feel?”

Of course I’ll miss this. The entire time we were apart I missed him. This time won’t be an exception, but for my own sanity, I have to end this. I can’t allow my feelings to be toyed with. It scares me to know I’ve fallen for him again so quickly. If I allow this thing between us to continue and he eventually leaves me for Sophie, I’ll be crushed.

I’m just trying to think ahead.

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I turn my head away from him. “Please stop hurting me.” The words only come out as a whisper, but I know he hears them. 

He flinches, drops his arms—freeing me from his muscular prison and takes a step back. He runs his hand roughly through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lane.”

Before another word can be said between us, he turns on his heel and heads out the door. I jump when the door slams behind him.