CHAPTER 1

Julie

Either I’ll end up in a mental institution, or this will be the best damn decision of my life.

My new place was small but charming. The walls of the living room were painted a shade of green that lightened both the space and my mood. I leaned back in my desk chair and stared at the wall in front of me. Dallas was good to me, but there were too many bad memories now.

I needed a change. This place was just forty-five minutes outside of the city. Quaint. Quiet. Peaceful. And, away from pain – at least that’s what I wanted so desperately to believe.

Ennis, Texas, was the last place I ever envisioned myself settling down. I thought I’d spend my entire life in one big city or another, chasing my dream of being a journalist. Now, freelancing was all I needed. Living a quiet life seemed perfect and relaxing. After the last few weeks of hell, I longed for quality alone time.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, there was a loud knock on my front door. I frowned and got slowly to my feet. The only person who knew where I lived was my best friend Andrea, but I couldn’t imagine she would drive all the way down here.

“Hey!” Andrea said when I opened the door.

I laughed and shook my head. Standing aside, I let Andrea pass by me. She quickly made herself at home, kicking off her shoes and collapsing in a heap on my couch.

“I know it’s only like an hour,” she said. “But god, I really hate that fucking drive.”

“What are you doing here?” I sat down in my chair and spun around to face her.

“Ouch.” Andrea placed her hand over her heart and feigned a hurt expression. “Where’s the love, Jules?”

I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I just wanted to check on you.” Andrea shrugged. “I have the day off, so I thought I’d drive down. Are you settled in?”

I nodded. “Getting there. It’s going to take some time to unpack everything, but I love this house. It’s perfect.”

“I thought it would be,” Andrea said with a satisfied grin.

Andrea helped me find my new house about two seconds after I mentioned the move. She, unlike most of the other people in my life, was totally supportive of my desire to get out of Dallas.

“My parents came down yesterday,” I said. “They don’t feel the same way.”

“Like that’s a surprise,” Andrea said. “Frank and Janice wouldn’t know true style if it bit them in the ass.”

I laughed. “God, that’s so true. Do you remember that purple leather recliner they bought when we were in high school?”

“Oh my god!” Andrea groaned. “I forgot about that!”

“I don’t know how you could,” I said. “It still haunts my nightmares.”

“Well, you had to live with the damn thing in your living room,” Andrea said.

We both laughed and continued our light-hearted abuse of my parents. They meant well, but they never truly understood me.

“So,” Andrea said, her tone suddenly shifting. “Have you heard from him?”

I froze. My heart felt like it stopped beating for a full minute. I knew Andrea would ask about him. Still, it didn’t stop me from feeling breathless and blindsided. My ex was the last person I wanted to talk about.

“No,” I said. “I’m not sure he even knows I left Dallas.”

“Of course, he knows,” Andrea said. She rolled her eyes. “It’s all over Facebook.”

“It is?”

“Well, I posted about it,” Andrea said with a shrug.

“That doesn’t mean he’s seen it,” I said. “Besides, why would he care? He dumped me.”

“Trust me, I know.” Andrea sighed and sat up. “How are you doing?”

Andrea’s green eyes found mine. She didn’t look away. She held my gaze until, finally, I felt my entire body cave and my resolve melt away into nothingness. As much as I didn’t want to talk about him, Andrea knew I needed to.

“I miss him,” I said honestly, “which is ridiculous. I know that. But I can’t help it. I still really miss him.”

“You were together for two years,” Andrea said. “It would be weird if you didn’t miss him.”

“But, he doesn’t deserve it,” I said firmly. “He totally screwed me over. I stayed with him while he finished med school. Despite the long hours he kept and the stupid fights he would pick every time he got stressed out about some test, I stayed. I put up with all of it. Then, he starts his residency and just bails? Who does something like that?”

“An asshole,” Andrea said bluntly. “A pathetic little asshole.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Then, why the hell do I even still care?”

“Because you’re a good person,” Andrea said. “You have a heart. A big one.”

“I wish I didn’t,” I said.

Andrea snorted and moved to the edge of the couch. She reached out her hand for me to take. With a sigh, I slid out of my chair and moved to sit beside her. She held my hand and once again fixed me with a stare that was almost too understanding.

“Do you want me to kill him?” she asked, her tone serious.

I laughed and threw her hand away from me.

“I’m serious!” she said. “I’ll do it. I have the shovel in my trunk already.”

“You’re insane.” I rolled my eyes.

“That may be true,” she said. “But I’m here. Whatever you need.”

“I’m glad you came,” I said.

“You needed me.”

Her response was simple, but it spoke to the core of who Andrea was. She and I had been through everything together. From Kindergarten to college graduation. From weddings to funerals. It wasn’t a surprise that she knew what I needed better than I did.

“I’m glad I moved,” I said. “This place is going to be good for me. I went into town today, and it’s perfect. There’s this little coffee shop in the square that I could spend all day in. I’m going to get so much writing done here.”

“That’s amazing,” Andrea said. “Now that Dr. Assface isn’t holding you back anymore, you can finally get some real work done.”

I frowned. “Holding me back?”

I was angry and hurt by my break up, but I never thought of Joshua as someone who held me back.

“Oh, come on,” Andrea said. “You know he did. In the two years, you were with him, you barely wrote anything, Julie.”

“My career has been successful,” I said defensively. “I’ve had at least one article published every month since college. That’s pretty damn good.”

Andrea held up her hands. “Listen,” she said. “I’m not questioning your success, okay? But I’m not talking about your articles. As a journalist, you’re killing it. You always have.”

“Then, what?”

“Your book!” Andrea said with frustration. “The book you’ve been writing since high school. The book you’ve been stressing about and dwelling on for ten years. Remember that book?”

“Oh.” I blinked. “Right.”

“See?” Andrea said. “He was holding you back.”

“I don’t know if we can blame Joshua for that,” I said. “I let the book slide. That wasn’t his fault.”

“Do you remember what he told you after he read the first chapter?” Andrea asked.

I frowned again. I hadn’t thought about my book in so long. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I even opened the file on my computer. But when Andrea asked that question, everything came flooding back.

Joshua and I were in his apartment. I’d just given him the first chapter to read. I sat on his couch, waiting for him to finish it. I was terrified to hear what he thought, but I was also excited to share something so personal with him.

When he was finally finished reading it, he turned to me with a kind smile.

“It’s juvenile,” I said with a shake of my head. Andrea’s face came back into focus. “He told me it was juvenile. The immature ramblings of a confused, scared little girl who hadn’t yet figured out what to do with her life.”

“Exactly.” Andrea nodded. “That was the first time I knew he was wrong for you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” I asked.

“Would you have listened?” Andrea asked.

“Probably not.” I laughed and shook my head. “God, I was an idiot.”

“No,” Andrea said. “You were in love. You wanted to believe he was a good man, that you weren’t wasting your time. You wanted to believe in him. That doesn’t make you an idiot.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. Andrea wrapped her arm around my shoulders while the reality of my situation sunk in.

This house was my new home. I left Dallas. I moved to Ennis. I was finally, after two years, breaking free from the hold Joshua had on me.

A surge of freedom crept up inside me. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut for a second before opening them again. Andrea was right. Joshua spent two years holding me back from being the person I wanted to be. When he dumped me, he was just setting me free. And now, I could do anything with that freedom.