Chapter 7
Kin
“I never should have let you go.”
My fingers were actually trembling as I listened to the message again.
For the tenth time.
“I never should have let you go.”
Asshole.
Dropping the phone on the bed, I rushed to get ready. Lucy and I were going out tonight after I’d twisted her arm. Hard. Her Aunt Emmie had told me that First Bass had an open mike night and I was excited to try out one of the songs I’d written since I’d arrived in California.
The fact that Jace St. Charles might be at the club didn’t bother me.
Much.
I was ready to see him again. After spending Sunday through Tuesday lying to myself that I was, I’d spent all day today talking Lucy into using her pull with the whole ‘name on the VIP list’ to get me in. Now I was going to walk in there, show Jace that I was just fine with him being in the same state with me once again, and sing the song I’d written for my mother.
That was all that really mattered. The song.
Thinking of the song I’d written had my heart twisting painfully, just as it always did when memories of my mother blindsided me.
Pulling on a pair of jeans that had seen better days but were my favorite, I threw on a white T-shirt, pulled on a leather vest over it and grabbed my phone and guitar case before heading downstairs. Lucy and Marcus would be there to pick me up soon and I didn’t want Lucy to have to come in to get me. Jillian was anything but nice to my friend, and the step-bitches weren’t any better. I put Jillian’s pettiness at how she treated Lucy down to the fact that Layla Thornton had used her pull in their social circles to ostracize Jillian out of more than one event over the years. Georgia and Carolina’s treatment of my friend was more of them not liking that Lucy still got noticed by the paps—something she hated—but my two step-bitches craved just as much as their mother did.
I was just about to open the door when it swung inward and Scott came in. He glanced up, saw what I was carrying and lifted a brow. “That looks too big for you to be carrying.”
I shrugged. “It’s not heavy.”
“Where are you headed?” he asked, and I paused long enough to look up at him. Since when did he care where I went or what I was doing? He was rarely home and when he was he was so far up Jillian’s ass I was sure he didn’t even remember I existed.
“Out with a friend,” I finally told him.
“Have fun,” he called over his shoulder as he headed deeper into the house.
“I’m out of this hell-hole, so yeah. I’m gonna have a blast,” I muttered to myself as I opened the door and stepped out onto the front step. With each passing day I regretted making my mother that stupid promise more and more. I knew she had wanted what she thought was best for me, to show me what it was like in my father’s world, but after the first two days I had learned fast that I hadn’t been missing anything. I wanted to be back in Virginia with Carter and the twins so badly I could taste the crisp fall air and almost hear their laughter as we raked the multi-colored leaves that fell into the front yard.
Instead I was with people who didn’t want me to talk about my mother and how much I missed her. I was breathing salt-filled air and there were no trees, just a sandy beach and the Pacific Ocean in the back yard. I just wanted to go home.
Making sure I had my keys, I closed the door behind me just as Lucy’s Range Rover pulled into the driveway. I picked up the guitar case and practically ran toward the vehicle. Lucy greeted me with a grin and a hug and I soaked up the affection from her before settling back into my seat and fastening my seatbelt.
“You looked like you were escaping something worse than death when we pulled up,” Lucy said with a laugh as Marcus pulled out of the driveway and headed for L.A.
I laughed. “Yeah, well, I did. My dad had just gotten home. He actually talked to me.”
Her eyes widened. I hadn’t held back when I’d told her about how it was at home—no, not ‘home.’ That was never going to be home for me. Home was where you felt safe and loved. How it was at their house.
Of course I hadn’t held back when I’d told her about me and Jace on Monday, either. I hadn’t meant to unload it all on her, but she was just so easy to talk to and I hadn’t been able to keep the words in any longer.
It had taken longer than I had thought to get Lucy to go back to First Bass, however. She hadn’t told me what was up with her and that Harris guy, but it didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize they had history. Why else would her name be on a list that some people would kill to be on, yet she was reluctant to use?
The drive into the city was a long one, but since we both had a late curfew—one my mother would have lost her shit over if she knew about it—we didn’t have to worry. Lucy was quiet most of the ride but I didn’t push her to talk. I was going over the song that I was going to sing later and trying to remember the chords that I’d decided needed to be changed.
Thanks to Caleb, I had been playing guitar since I was six. His mother had been a music teacher and had gotten him hooked on learning instruments. He’d taught me how to read and write music and I’d bonded with him more than Angie because of our shared love of all things musical.
Marcus pulled to a stop in front of Frist Bass and I glanced out my window to see the flash of cameras already going off. Damn. That was the one drawback about going out with Lucy. The paps were hungry for anything they could get on her movements because she was a ‘rock princess,’ being the adopted daughter of a Demon.
I heard the paps screaming her name as soon as I opened my door and stepped out. Lucy was slower getting out so I waited for her at the rear of the Range Rover. Just as she met me, I heard the damn paps start calling my name too, wanting me to talk to them. Double damn.
Seeing the look on Lucy’s face, however, told me that maybe I shouldn’t have twisted her arm so hard to get her to come with me tonight. I reached for her hand, offering a comforting squeeze. “You really don’t want to be here, do you?” She tensed and I grimaced. “Look, we don’t have to do this. We can just go and I’ll come back another time on my own.”
Something close to relief flashed across her face but then she shook her head. “No. We’re doing this. I’m sorry for being such a drag. I’m over it now, though. I’m going to go in there and fan girl the place down when you get up there.”
I let out a relieved breath and smiled down at her. Lucy wasn’t the smallest chick I’d met, but I stood above the majority of the females I came in contact with. “Thanks, Lucy.” As much as I didn’t want to push her into something she really didn’t want to do, I was glad she was going in there with me. I didn’t want to do this on my own. I would probably chicken out.
It took a few minutes to get inside and then past the scary yet delicious security guy at the door. Marcus was right behind us the entire way. Lucy found us a table and ordered her usual ginger ale while I glanced around. We weren’t up in VIP today because the open mike was on the ground floor, but I kind of liked the regular-Joe room better. I didn’t feel like I was being watched by the ‘beautiful’ people.
I waited until our drinks arrived before figuring I’d better get this thing done or I would chicken out. It was only now that we were inside First Bass and I saw that the place had a big crowd that my nerves were giving me butterflies in my stomach.
What the hell was I doing? I had no business being here. I couldn’t dare be as good as I thought I was. This was for people with real talent, not my second-rate ass. Shit. Shit. Shit. Okay. We can just go. I hadn’t committed to anything yet. My name wasn’t on a list for it to be called later and embarrass myself further when I didn’t jump on that small stage to sing…
Lucy’s hand covered mine, pulling me out of my anxiety-filled moment of sheer panic. “Kin, you’re going to kick ass up there. Don’t worry about getting the chords right, or if your voice gets off key. You aren’t here to become a rock star. You’re here to get your songs recognized, maybe even sell one. You are a gifted writer and you’re going to bring the house down with that song of yours, babe.”
My lips started trembling without my permission. That was exactly what I needed to hear. It was what Angie or Caleb or even my mother would have said. Pressing my lips together, I gave a firm nod and smiled. “You’re right. Now, where do I sign up for the chance to get up there and kick some ass?”
“Aunt Emmie said you tell the bartender and he adds you to the rotation.” She glanced at the bar and I followed her gaze. “Best bet is over there, babe.”
I stood and crossed the room to the bar. The bartender was already busy mixing drinks for the crowd at the bar and I waited for him to hand a few beers over to the twenty-something guys beside me before asking about the open mike rotation.
The guy’s gaze skimmed over me twice before he pointed to the end of the bar without so much as a word to me. I looked at the end of the bar for the first time and everything inside of me went equal parts hot and cold at the sight of the man sitting on the stool next to Harris Cutter.
Jace St. Charles was the most perfect guy I had ever met in the looks department, with his messy, dirty blond hair and those killer blue eyes that seemed to look straight through all the bullshit to the person beneath it all. He worked out frequently and his body showed the hard work, but not in an over-the-top kind of way like Caleb was. His features were purely masculine, there was nothing necessarily pretty-boy about him, but it was his voice that had pulled me in that first night I’d seen him.
I’d become addicted to the sound of his voice and not just when he was singing, either. There was something almost hypnotic in the way he spoke that had drawn me to him and had sucked me in from that first ‘hello’.
As I watched him lift his beer and take a deep swallow, I hated him for how much he was still able to twist me inside. I wanted to slap his handsome face and kiss him all in the same moment. Then…
Then I wanted to kick him in the balls.
Grinning, I pushed away from the bar and walked toward the two guys at the end of the bar. I was almost to them when Jace lifted his head as if he could sense me, and our gazes collided. My steps faltered and I reached for the back of the stool closest to me to steady myself. Stop it, I wanted to scream at him as his eyes skimmed over my face almost worshipfully.
I sucked in a deep breath, then grinned again. One way or another I was going to have fun tonight. I walked past Jace’s seat and leaned between the two guys, my gaze only on Harris. I hadn’t really given him more than a quick glance on Saturday, but now I was taking my time.
While Jace had the messy hair and a little scruff going on tonight, Harris was clean cut and dressed for business in dark dress pants and a blue button-up that was only half done, showing a sexy glimpse of dark muscles. Aquamarine eyes brightened when he met my gaze and grinned, showing me twin dimples that could make any chick’s panties melt.
Mine, however, weren’t even affected. How could they be where this guy was concerned when I was still so invested in the stupid idiot behind me?
“Hi,” I greeted Harris. “I’m Kin.”
He tilted his head. “Hello, Kin.”
“I heard this is the place to be on Wednesday nights. Is there any way I can get on the rotation for the open mike?” I bit my lip, flirting unashamedly. “I have something I’d like to sing for you.”
“Oh, yeah?” He grinned again, his dimples popping.
Holy shit. I could totally see why Lucy was hung up on this guy, if that was what was going on with my friend. If I’d met him before I’d set eyes on Jace, I might have been crushing on him myself. “Yeah,” I said a little breathlessly and could actually feel Jace’s body temp freezing over.
Jealous Jace had always been amusing to me. He’d been jealous of Caleb that first night, but I’d quickly set him right about our relationship. Any other time I’d gone to that bar in Bristol to watch Tainted Knights perform he’d had his eyes glued to me to make sure no one approached me. He would rather I show up with Caleb than without him, because no one bothered to look twice when my stepbrother was in attendance and, if they did, one look from him usually had guys pissing themselves.
“Sure, Kin. I’ll put you on the list.” His gaze went over my head to Jace, then quickly back to me. I could almost feel the message that had passed between the two guys.
Hands off.
I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t shopping for a replacement for Jace. Hell, I was done with guys for the foreseeable future.
“Lu with you?” Harris surprised me by asking next.
I nodded my head in the direction I’d just come from and those aquamarine eyes zeroed in on her instantly. Well, hell. The look that crossed Harris’s face was unexpected yet…not. The way his eyes seemed to eat up Lucy told me all I needed to know about this guy. I wanted to get in his face and tell him that if he hurt her I would cut off his balls, but for some reason I didn’t think I had to stress that to this guy.
“You’re my new favorite person, Kin.”
I grinned at him. “Come over and join us.”
I didn’t have to tell him twice. He was on his feet before I’d even turned back toward our table. Lucy tried to look busy by pulling her phone out and playing with it, but I could see the slight tremble to her fingers as I dropped down into my chair just as Harris took the one right beside her.
“Why haven’t you answered my messages?” Harris demanded with a smug grin on his face as he scooted his chair so close to Lucy that I wondered if she would develop personal space issues. “I figured I would get a ‘fuck you’ or a ‘go to hell’. Instead all I got was nothing. Honestly, I’d rather have the ‘fuck you’, Lu.”
“What are you talking about?” Lucy demanded. “I haven’t gotten any messages from you.”
I sat back in my chair, watching them intently as they argued about Harris texting or not texting. It was slightly amusing to watch Lucy take charge of a guy’s attention like she currently was with him. In the few weeks that I’d known Lucy, I’d learned a lot about her. One of the things I already knew was that she thought guys were immune to her because she sure as hell acted like she was immune to them. Yet, with Harris, I could see how un-immune she really was. It was in the way her eyes dilated a little more every time their gazes met. In the way her breath seemed to catch when he dipped his head a little closer. In the way she lit up just being next to him.
“The hell you say. I’ve been texting you since Sunday night.” He pulled out his phone and showed her.
Lucy grinned and I glanced over her shoulder to see what was going on. “That’s not your number. Why would you wrong-number the poor guy like that, Lucy?”
“I didn’t,” Lucy said with a snicker. “Mom did.”
Harris snatched his phone back, a pout already forming. “Layla wrong-numbered me?” The hurt in his eyes made me feel bad for him. “I thought she liked me.”
“Oh, stop,” Lucy told him with a grin. “Mom loves you. She just loves me more.”
“So give me your real number,” Harris commanded, holding the phone out for her once again. “Let me send you messages you can read and ignore. Or—and this is my preference, by the way—actually talk to me.”
It was cute to watch them together like that, but my attention was quickly pulled away when the fourth and final chair at our table was suddenly pulled back and Jace sat beside me. His shoulders were more tense than I’d ever seen them and his blue eyes were full of ice as he glared down at me.
“Are you really going to play games with me, Kin?” he gritted out. “I thought you were more mature than that.”
I could guarantee that I was more mature than any chick he’d ever dealt with before. “Go to hell, Jace.”
He leaned closer and I shot a quick glance toward Lucy, but she was still caught up in Harris as he tried to convince her to give him her real number. Jace tapped my hand and I moved it away before he could touch me again. “You haven’t returned any of my calls.”
I lifted a brow at him. “I was surprised you still had my number, actually. Figured that went out the door the second you decided I wasn’t worth your time.”
The look that crossed his face was so intense I got a twisted sense of pleasure. Direct hit. It didn’t make me feel any better that he could feel pain where I was concerned. If anything it just made my own aching heart ache all the more. I couldn’t even begin to guess why he would still care after so many months had passed without so much as a word from him. He hadn’t tried to keep up with what was going on in my life.
If he had, maybe I wouldn’t have still been so…
Destroyed.
Maybe if he’d reached out to me while I’d been going through pure hell watching my mom fade right before my eyes I could have been a little more forgiving. It wouldn’t have mattered so much that he’d left me for his band. I could even understand that—just a little. He’d had a chance to make something special with Tainted Knights and I never would have stood in his way where his dreams were concerned.
I loved him too much to stand in his way.
Had.
Had loved him too much to stand in his way.
I’d loved him so much it had scared my mom and Carter. I’d fallen fast and we’d moved even faster where our relationship was concerned. I’d thought he’d loved me just as much.
But there had been nothing from him. After he’d walked away, leaving me a broken mess of the Kin I’d once been, there had been no calls, or texts, or emails. The one person I’d ached to talk to most in the world. The one I’d trusted to have my back and love me as completely as I loved him. The one I’d ached to see. To have his arms around me. To just be there for me to unload my day onto.
I’d had Carter and the twins to support me, but I’d needed more. Needed Jace. He’d known how much I’d needed him.
And he’d turned his back and walked away without a second glance.
Those blue eyes were still on me and I felt more than a little exposed right then. Deciding to tune him out—which was easer said than done—I turned my attention back to Lucy who was now standing with Harris taking selfies and looking so flushed and happy I thought I was looking at a whole new Lucy.
Those two looked good together.
If any two people were meant to be with each other, it was these two. It was kind of adorable.
Right then, however, adorable only pissed me off.
I’d thought I was supposed to be with Jace and look where that had gotten me.
“So when does this open mike thing start?” I demanded as I picked up my glass of ginger ale and took a small sip. “I’d like to get this over with.” And go back to my father’s house so I could forget this day ever happened.
Hell, now I was actually looking forward to going back to that pit of vipers? I needed to get away from Jace St. Charles as quickly as I could.