I wring my hands together as Max’s car hits every damn red light between Rocco’s house and the hospital.

“Should someone call Viktor?” I gnaw at my lower lip, doubting Nico would have already reached out. He’s waiting with his mom and Lily, probably too focused on them to think about what he’s going to do next.

“Fuck Viktor,” Max growls. “Why the hell are we even going to the hospital right now?” He points to me as he swerves around a slow-moving car in his lane. “You should be home, and Rocco and I should be on our way to tear that cocksucker apart.”

“You know you can’t do that,” I start. “Nico would—”

“He’s got enough to deal with right now.”

“Relax.” Rocco clasps my shoulder. “We’re gonna take care of it, okay?”

“Yeah, the golden boy has it all figured out,” Max grumbles, veering into the parking lot next to the Emergency Room.

“Fuck off, asshole.” Rocco ruffles Max’s hair. “Don’t be a jealous bitch. Admit it, you’re a goddamn lunatic. Nico needs someone who doesn’t pull the trigger first and then asks the questions later.” He snickers. “As if you’d ever get to the question part.”

“At least I’ve never had my ass kicked by a girl.”

Rocco pokes me from his spot in the backseat. “Nice. I can’t believe you sold me out like that.”

I shrug. “Don’t worry. If he was up against Kat, I’d take her any day.”

“Thanks, sis.” Max shakes his head and turns off the car. “This has been a really nice ride, guys. Let’s never fucking do it again, okay?”

I let out a deep breath. “So what’s the plan? What should we do?”

“You’re not doing anything except staying here at the hospital. Leave the Grim Reaper shit to us. And don’t worry. That fucker will get his ass shredded by our sickle.” Rocco slides out of the backseat and slams the door shut.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” I murmur to Max, nibbling on my thumb nail. “This guy is dangerous, Max.”

“Hey.” Max’s lips curl into a small smile. “Danger is my middle name.”

“Well, actually, it’s not, but—"

“Shaye, it’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

“What if you can’t find him in time? What if he’s hiding?”

“That dickhead is too much of a fucking idiot to hide. He wants to be seen. He wants to be found. He’s like a peacock shaking his ass feathers around.” Max rummages in the center console and pops a magazine into his shotgun before sticking it behind his back and into the waistband of his jeans.

“Just be careful,” I whisper, tears pooling in my eyes. So much death. Even more danger and uncertainty. Sometimes, it chokes me so hard I can barely breathe.

He flashes me a crooked grin and winks. “I’ve got a lot to live for, Shaye. That motherfucker ain’t taking it all from me.”

I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze, breathing in his cologne. “I like the fact that you remembered to spritz yourself in Prada for the occasion.” Sniffle.

“I like to smell good when I bust heads.”

I let out a little giggle. “You really are crazy.” I don’t know how he manages to be funny at times like these when he’s talking about maiming some unlucky person who’s about to cross his path. It’s kind of a sick gift. That or he really is hovering over the brink of insanity.

“I keep shit interesting. Now get the hell out of the car so we can get this party started. My trigger finger is getting itchy.”

I push open the door and swing my legs around so my feet hit the pavement. I stand slowly, my knees wobbling against each other. A sense of impending dread seems to settle around me. It snakes around me like an overgrown vine, sprouting thorns of fear, angst, and panic. They come closer and closer to penetrating my skin as I follow the guys into the hospital, but they don’t make contact. They’re just looming, a threat of the most dangerous kind. A harbinger of what’s to come.

The presence gets heavier and more ominous with each step we take, and ignoring it is impossible. My throat tightens as a whoosh of warm air blasts us. The lobby is full of people waiting, worrying, and praying. I scout the room, but there isn’t a single person I recognize. I clench and unclench my fingers to get the blood circulating. An unexplainable chill settles deep in my bones despite the heat. I know what’s about to happen, and there isn’t anything I can do to stop it.

I can’t. It has to be done. I wasn’t lying when I told Nico he needed to act. It’s the only way he can win this war. But the churning in my gut is telling a very different story, one where I just want to find him and run away with him so we never have to deal with these people…this life…ever again.

Talk about giving mixed signals.

I hug myself, the chill spreading to my hands and feet. It feels as if I’m being iced from the inside out, but the numbness doesn’t affect my heart or my mind. I still know what comes next in the story.

I just don’t know how it will ultimately end.

We walk to the nurse’s station, and Sloane comes out to meet us, her grave expression making my chest clench. I fall into her arms, tears pooling in my eyes. Is he dead? Oh God, please don’t let him be dead…

“Mr. Salesi is out of surgery,” she murmurs to us, squeezing me tight. “But there were complications during the operation. He went into cardiac arrest, and he fell into a coma.”

I pull away. “Oh my God,” I whisper.

Sloane rubs my arm. “They don’t know when…or if…he’ll wake up, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

I try to swallow the sob lodged in my throat, but the tears spill over, running down my face in torrents.

Max rubs my back. “Thanks, Sloane.”

She nods. “Nico and his mom are in recovery with him now.”

“Where’s Lily?” I rasp, swiping away the tears from under my eyes.

“She’s with one of the nurses. Mrs. Salesi came straight here when she got the news and she didn’t have anyone to leave Lily with on such short notice. I’ve been with her since they arrived.”

“I’ll take her.” I clear my throat. “But I need to see Nico first.”

“Okay, I can tell him you’re here. You have to keep positive, sweetie.” She manages a small smile before turning toward the large red door leading to the patient rooms.

I look up at Max. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”

He nods, rubbing my shoulder. “Yeah.”

I cough and the sob explodes out of my throat. “P-please take care of him, you guys. P-please d-don’t let anything happen to him.”

“You know we have his back, Shaye.” Rocco rakes a hand through his hair. “We’ve got this, okay?”

“J-just be careful,” I whisper, sniffing hard.

Rocco catches Max’s murderous gaze. “You know where we’re going, right?”

He nods. “I’ve got the address. They’re not gonna know what fucking hit them.”

“Make them pay, guys.” I wipe my eyes. “Make them wish they’d never brought Luca back.”

The red door swings open, and Nico walks out. His clothes are rumpled, like he’s been hunched over in a chair for the past hour. His hair is a mess, spiked and standing on end. But it’s his gaze that chokes me…the pain, the guilt, the anger, the void.

When he speaks, his voice is hollow. “Sloane told me you guys were here.” He grasps my wrist and leans down to whisper into my ear. “I thought I told you to stay away.”

I shake my head, afraid if I open my mouth to respond, I’ll lose my breakfast right here in the middle of the waiting room.

“We came as soon as we heard. I’m really sorry, man.” Rocco shakes his head. “Thank fuck he wasn’t with your mom and Lily.”

Nico nods. “Yeah…” I follow his eyes to Max. “I thought I fired you.”

“Yeah, but I’m willing to overlook your pretty large error in judgment,” Max replies, his face deadpan.

A shadow of a smile lifts Nico’s lips, and he pulls Max in for a hug, clapping him on the back. “Thanks for coming.”

“I love you, man,” Max grumbles, clasping Nico’s shoulder. “Even though you’re a walking fucking disaster these days. How’s your pops?”

Nico rubs the back of his neck. His eyes are heavy and sad, his face drawn like he hasn’t slept in weeks.

And I know he really hasn’t.

He won’t sleep again until this war ends.

“Not good. There’s a lot of internal damage, but he’s too weak for them to operate on again. As it is, he went into cardiac arrest during the surgery.”

“So now what? We just wait?” Max’s voice rises. “They can’t do anything else?”

“Not right now.” Nico’s fingers lace with mine. “Guys, I need to talk to Shaye for a minute.” Before waiting for them to even acknowledge his words, he’s pulling me toward an open corridor. I walk fast, trying to keep up with him. Once we’re alone, he backs me against the wall and leans down, so close his warm breath flutters against my cheeks. Pain is etched into his features, anger glimmering in the depths of his soul.

He tightens his grip on my hands, squeezing them as I wait for him to speak. He’s riddled with guilt and the fear of what comes next, I can feel it. It hangs in the air between us, just like the pending doom that’s been overshadowing our lives over the past few months.

“You were right, babe. I waited too long, and now my dad may not…he may not make it. I put him here. I fucked up, and now I have one shot to make things right.”

“I know you will, Nico. The guys are waiting for your direction. Just keep focused. You’ll make this right, babe. Max and Rocco have your back, and they’re ready to—"

He shakes his head. “No,” he whispers. “I have to do this by myself. This was a personal strike, babe. He wants me. I can’t risk anyone else’s life. I’ve already got too much blood on my hands.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The blood coursing through my veins morphs into ice, snaking around my insides and slicing through my heart. I shake my head. “N-no! I never meant for you to do this on your own! It would be suicide! You have no idea what you’d be walking into!” I pull my hands away from his and grip his jacket with both fists. “Nico, please listen to me. It’s okay to need help.” My voice shakes, desperation weaving its way into my pleas. “They’re here to help you. Please let them go with you, Nico. Don’t be a hero. I need you, baby. My God, I need you more than you’ll ever know!”

He caresses the side of my face, his lips grazing my forehead. “You don’t need anything or anyone. That’s one of the reasons why I’m so crazy about you. That ferocity, that fire deep inside of you. It rages, Shaye. It always has. You’d jump in front of a Mack truck to save anyone you care about. You’re so loyal and strong. I love you so much. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’ve been by my side this whole time, never judging, only supporting. You knew I fucked up, but you never stopped believing in me.”

My shoulders quake as the tears silently fall. “I’m begging you not to do this,” I whisper.

“If you believe me when I say that I love you more than my life, then you know I’m going to do everything in my power to protect you. It’s my responsibility, and I’ve avoided it for too long already.”

“No, you haven’t! You’ve done everything you can to keep me safe.”

“Except face the one person with the power to yank you away from me.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “I have to do this.”

“Look, I know you need to handle him. I know you’ve just had your world rocked by this guy. But think about your mother. Think about Lily. Think about your dad! Don’t do it. Just please don’t go alone.” Another whimper escapes my lips. “How can you protect me if you’re—?” I bite back the word before it can escape my mouth, but it’s still there taunting me. My stomach clenches. “Nico, please think about this. Be smart about it. You’re upset and angry…take a little time to think about what you’re doing. Why would you do this alone? Please, Nico! Let your friends help you, for Christ’s sake!”

He shakes his head, silencing my protests with his soft lips. I squeeze my eyes shut as his warmth consumes me, pretending we’re somewhere else, anywhere else, and that this kiss is only the beginning, that any second he’s going to lay me back and tear off my clothes, that all of this is just a horrible nightmare.

But then he pulls away. I feel the loss deep within my heart and soul, and I pray to God it’s only temporary.

“This is what I have to do. Alone.” His fingers wind their way into my hair. “You’re my everything, Shaye. I’m doing this for you. For us.”

“B-but without you, there is no us!” My voice quivers, the golf ball-sized lump in my throat preventing me from taking in a deep breath. That tormenting chill has now settled into my gut and the warmth I crave, the one I need…he’s about to walk into the lion’s den with no guarantee that he’ll be coming out.

“Without you, there’s no us either.” He pulls me in tight to his chest, our hearts beating fast and furious in unison. “I love you so much, Shaye.”

I cling to him, digging my fingertips into his jacket. “Then let the guys come with you. Call Viktor. Please!”

He drops his arms and steps backward. “I can’t. This is my responsibility. Don’t be sad. Be hopeful.” He manages a small smile. “I know I am.”