RYDER
It only took a few drinks before I needed to get the hell out of there. The loud sounds did nothing to keep the demons from firing around in my head. Something more pressed on me tonight, but I couldn’t pin it down. The vibrations from my phone sent unpleasant feelings down my leg each time a call or message came through, but I managed to ignore them. The last thing I wanted to do was try to talk to someone tonight.
The Jack and Coke slid back and forth in the short span between my hands on the tabletop. After the first two, the third did nothing for me telling me it was time to blast off.
“Dude,” Daniel started in on me. “You going to get out of your head for even a few minutes tonight? The look on your face even scares me, much less all the hot girls who’ve been sniffing around the table.”
“Good. Don’t need a woman. I’ve got the best woman.”
Jason put his arm around my shoulders. “No, Ryder, you don’t. Laina’s gone. We’ve been over this for a full fucking year. She’s no longer your Laina, no longer your woman.”
“Fuck off.” I moved out of his hold. “She’ll always be the woman I want.”
“No, dude. She won’t.” This time it was Daniel.
“All of you fuck off.” Who were they to tell me this?
My phone kept going and going this time. I finally pulled it out to see I’d missed a shit ton of calls from my parents’ number. “What the hell. Something’s wrong.” Every one of my family had reached out.
“What’s going on?” Daniel stepped up behind me. I’d known Daniel all my life. We’d been friends since the first day of kindergarten. He was new to Smithville and stood alone, so I threw the kickball at him on the playground. He grabbed it up joining my friends like we’d known each other all five years of our lives. Now, fifteen years later, we were still throwing things at each other, even a few fists on occasion.
He saw all the calls he knew to be my family since we’d practically lived at one house or the other for all those years.
“Man, you better call home.” The look he wore mimicked mine.
I nodded and headed for the exit door, him fast on my heels.
I hated even to hear the phone ring on the other end, the smell of urine burned my nose as I waited in the back alley.
“Oh, Brax.”
“What’s wrong, Mom? Is it Dad?” I sucked in a big breath afraid of her answer.
“No, honey. It’s not your dad. Here, talk to him.” The strained voice told me she tried to hold back tears, but when Dad said hello to me, her distinct sobs echoed in the background.
“Dad, what’s going on? Just tell me.” Yelling into the phone gained his attention.
“Son, we got word a few minutes ago about Laina.”
“What? What kind of word? Where is she? Who did you hear it from?” The questions flew even though I knew he didn’t have time to answer between each one.
“Calm down, Brax.” He paused. “You see, son, her aunt called. Said she knew you’d want to know.”
“Know what, Dad?”
“Laina’s dead, son. She was killed in a car accident. She’s been living with her aunt all this time in Washington, D.C.”
“I… I…” No words formed. I backed against the wall and slid down dropping my phone on the concrete.
Daniel picked it up examining the flipped-open screen.
He spoke into the phone. “Hey, Mr. Whitmore, it’s Daniel. What’s happening?” He held the phone between us so we could both hear.
“I know this is hard, and we don’t know much. The aunt only said that Laina had talked about you the entire time she lived there, so she felt like you should know what happened. Laina’s car was t-boned at a red light, and she was killed instantly. The woman didn’t say if she was alone or not. She didn’t say anything about a baby either. Your mom point blank asked. All she said was Laina was alone in the car.”
I screamed at the phone, “Did the lady leave a number I can call?” I jerked it away from Brett.
“No, it was a house phone, Brax. We’ve already tried to dial it back.”
“Shit. This isn’t right, Dad. It’s not right. I’ve already lost her once. I never got to tell her goodbye. Never, Dad. Never.” I couldn’t stop the tears or the wailing. “It’s not fair. Why, Dad? What did I do so wrong? You know all I ever did was love her, Dad. I love her so much still. Why, Dad?”
“Listen, Brax. Son, you didn’t do anything wrong. We all know how much you two loved each other. All of this was out of your hands. They took it all away. They had all the power here.”
“But I need her in my life, Dad. I need her. I’ve waited a whole year. A year today, Dad.”
“I know, Brax. I’m so sorry, son.” He took a deep breath. “Braxton, why don’t you let us come up to Austin and pick you up?”
“When’s the funeral, Dad? I need to go to the funeral.” I began pacing. I could get to D.C. on a flight tonight. I could be there to say goodbye to her one last time. I know she’d hear me when I got to see her beautiful face one last time.
There was no sound on the other end. “Dad?”
“The funeral’s already happened.”
“No way, Dad? When? Where is she?” I yelled at him for no reason, but I couldn’t keep the anger from my voice. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. No fucking way this scene was playing through my head again. There was no repeat button in my brain, so why did it feel like it?
“She’s buried here in Smithville, Brax. They had a private service. No one knew. I’m sorry. Apparently, they had the body shipped in a few days ago and had a graveside service without notifying anyone. That’s all the lady would tell us. I’m so sorry they did this to you, son. I don’t know what to say.”
“Nooo.” My brain was ready to explode. “Nooo.”