Forty-One
Confession
Tirah trembled. Saber was quiet for so long, she was sure he was going to tell her no. Then she looked up and gasped.
Fire burned in his eyes. “I don’t know if I was just dreaming, I was lost inside my mind, but I thought I heard you say you loved me. Is that true?”
Tirah felt her face flame. “I did. But I’m not what you think, you might not want me when you know what I am—”
“Do you want to be my mate?” he asked, cutting her off.
Tirah’s heart thumped loudly in her chest. “Yes, but—”
Saber frowned and pulled her close. “There isn’t anything you can tell me that will change how I feel about you.”
“And how, exactly, do you feel about me?” she teased, her heart in her throat as she waited for his answer.
“You are it for me. My heart. My soul. You make me complete. After I killed your brother …” He closed his eyes, and she could feel his suffering. “The look in your eyes … I thought you hated me. That and you leaving me, I didn’t think you wanted me. It … it destroyed me.” He blinked. “Tirah, I don’t want to live without you.”
Tears pricked her eyes.
“I’d like to spend the rest of my life with you by my side,” he said softly.
Tirah bit her bottom lip and pulled away. He had to know what she was before they went any further. “I have to tell you something. You need to know what you’re getting into.” After all, who knew what would happen now that Cass and his village knew what she was. She didn’t know anything about dragonkind law, only what her mother told her about the Fire-born.
“I believe I already know, but tell me,” Saber said.
Tirah fidgeted under his patient gaze. “I’d rather show you.”
“All right.”
Tirah gathered her courage and drawing on her power, met his eyes.
A smile curved his lips, then Saber’s power reached out and touched hers. Excitement surged at the glow in his eyes, the hunger of both man and dragon. It was so intense, it drew on the wild beast within her. Newly awakened, her dragon wanted out with a desperation that was quickly spinning out of control. The stark hunger she sensed within Saber didn’t help the situation. Suddenly her whole body became liquid fire as her power surged even brighter.
“Saber?” Tirah clutched him, feeling herself coming apart. Then Saber’s power, a soothing magic, flowed over and around her, cocooning and calming her. “What happened, what was that?” she asked in an awed whisper.
Saber grinned. “You. Your dragon. As big as the bed is, I think it might break if you shift in it.”
Tirah giggled and then grew serious. “I just about shifted?” Then she realized what he had said. “You knew?”
Saber shrugged. “I suspected. I didn’t know for sure until you tried to plunge to your death earlier.”
Tirah stared at him. “I thought I imagined it, but that was you in my mind.”
Saber nodded. “Yes. And don’t do that ever again. You scared a thousand years off me when you jumped off the ledge like that. There was nothing I could do to help. I was lost in the madness of my mind, and you trying to commit suicide just about drove me over the edge.” He pulled her close. “You are a part of me. You are my mate.”
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself,” she said, annoyed as she remembered her brush with death.
“I know, you were trying to go for help. You should have just let me die.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ll never let you die.” Then doubt swept her. “Unless you don’t want me?”
Saber growled, making her smile. “You know I do.” Then he guided her hand to the solid proof in his pants.
Tirah slowly ran her hand over him. “Stop distracting me. You need to listen. I’m a quarter Fire-born.”
“It’s you who is distracting me.” Stark hunger shone in his eyes.
“Saber? Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, something about being Fire-born.”
“So?” she asked, tentatively.
“So, what?” Saber leaned up and kissed her, drowning any excuses she might have made. Then passion took over. When they finally came up for air, she stared into his eyes. “Now that you know, aren’t you supposed to kill me?”
“What?” he asked with a scowl.
“My mother told me that dragonkind kill any Fire-born who isn’t full blooded.”
Anger lit Saber’s eyes. “I’m sorry. Your mother’s been misled. Only the Fire-born believe that any who are not pure-blood need to die. The rest of dragonkind don’t think that way. We fight to keep those with any dragon blood alive. Regardless of the amount or their lineage. The Fire-born’s ideas and practices are barbaric. And if anyone thinks to harm you, they will have me to deal with.”
Tears lit her eyes and her heart warmed, but she was still afraid. “What about the fact that I’m three-quarters Ilyium.”
Saber growled and pulled her closer. “I don’t care. You are not like them.”
“So will you bond with me?”
Surprise flickered in his eyes, then they narrowed. “You want to bond? Do you know what that means?”
Tirah nodded. “Yes, our souls would be entwined together forever.”
Saber sat up and the sight of his ripped chest made her mouth water. “And if I die, you die.”
Tirah tore her gaze from all his yumminess and met his eyes. “I know.”
Saber snarled. “Did Zales put you up to this?”
“No. I mean, sort of. Zales explained what was happening to you. They were going to let you die. I begged him to save you. He poured his dragon light into you, but now we need to bond.” She stared at him, worry in her eyes.
“Bonding can be dangerous—” Saber said.
“I don’t care. I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere. With you, I do. I don’t want to lose you. We’ve only known each other a short time, but I feel this connection to you. Like we were meant to be together.”
“I’ve felt that since I first laid eyes upon you,” he said to her surprise.
“You have?”
Saber nodded. “Why do you think I hunted you for so long?”
Moisture prickled the back of her eyes as she held his gaze. “When I thought I might lose you—” She shook her head and bit her lip. “I didn’t … I don’t want to live without you. I love you, Saber. With my whole heart and soul.”
Saber pulled her close once again and claimed her lips, making her moan.
“All right,” he said when they came up for air. Senses reeling, it took her a minute to figure out what he was talking about.
“You’ll bond with me?” she asked.
“Yes. I don’t want to live without you either. It’s very lonely, and I’m such horrible company that I usually want to beat myself senseless.”
Tirah laughed, but a moment later she grew quiet.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you what happened that night,” she whispered, tears finally escaping, knowing what she revealed might change his mind.
“All right.”
Tirah tried to speak, but the words became stuck in her throat. Flooded with emotion, she swallowed deeply, knowing it would kill her if he rejected her now. “I’m afraid you’ll be disgusted and won’t want me when you know.”
“Shh,” Saber said and put his finger to her lips, silencing her. “I can tell it’s distressing for you to speak about, so you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’ve felt your gentle, kind spirit. I am sorry that I accused you about Maya. I know you didn’t willingly help kill her.”
Tirah shook her head. “No, never. Though I didn’t try hard enough to stop it either.”
Saber took her hands in his and studied them. “I think you probably did. Your brethren, they did this to you that night, didn’t they?”
Tirah tried to pull her hands away, but Saber held on and raised them to his lips. He lovingly kissed each scar and the beds where her nails should have been. “Maya was a healer, she wouldn’t have been able to resist trying to help anyone who was hurt.”
Tirah closed her eyes and the memories of that horrible night engulfed her. “They used me,” she said in a whisper.
“How?” Saber’s anger spiked.
“They did this.” She stared at her hands. “I tried to get away, but they used the same spell Casin used on us at the cabin. I … I couldn’t move.”
“That must’ve hurt.”
“I didn’t think it would hurt as much as it did, and I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t speak at all,” she said, remembering how horrifying it had been and how badly it had hurt.
Saber kissed the back of both hands lovingly. “How did they find Maya?” he asked, switching the topic. “I knew she’d been in town getting healing supplies.”
“From what I understood, someone spotted Maya shift into her dragon one day just outside of town. They set up surveillance and watched for a pattern. That night—” Tirah closed her eyes and then opened them again. “One of the soldiers dressed in civilian clothing and pretended to be human. He was instructed to stop her when she came out of the herbalist’s and claim he had someone who needed help.”
Tirah took a deep breath. “They put me in the circle and then everyone hid. When I saw what was about to happen, I tried to break free of the spell. I tried to yell and tell her to run but couldn’t make a sound. She saw that I was bleeding and came to help me.”
Saber grimaced. “That would be Maya.”
“I couldn’t believe what they did to her. To this day, I wish I could have done something. I am so sorry,” Tirah said.
“There was nothing that you could have done. You were as much a victim as she was.” Saber ground his teeth. “I wish I could kill everyone all over again for the lives they destroyed.”
Tirah grew quiet, thinking for the millionth time that she could have done something more.
“Don’t,” he said softly, and she could feel his silent anger building.
He told her she couldn’t have done anything differently, but he hadn’t told her if what she confessed changed the way he felt about her.
“Saber?”
“Just give me a moment,” he said. She felt the intense rage inside of him.
Tirah held her breath and waited for him to calm.