CHAPTER 22
Aria woke sluggishly, her eyes barely drifted open before slipping shut again. She ached everywhere; muscles she didn’t even know she had were cramping. Knots twisted through her body as she lay completely still, fearful of moving. Even her eyelashes hurt and felt far too heavy, but it wasn’t the same as the pain she’d been going through for the past few days, weeks, hours...? She didn’t know anymore, she’d lost all track of time.
“Aria.” The word, breathed so hopefully, held so much love in it that her deadened heart broke. It was different now, completely still, but it was his and always would be. “Aria.”
“I’m alive,” she whispered.
His two fingers on her palm twitched a little. Her eyelids fluttered open again to find him lying across from her. He was magnificent, beautiful, and heartbreakingly lost as his gaze searched her face. The world was brighter, he was brighter. The scars around his eyes were more clearly visible; everything was more clearly visible. For the first time she noticed that the beautiful blue band encircling his irises was actually filled with flecks of sapphire and azure that fascinated her.
“Aria?”
Those two fingers were featherlike against her cheek, just barely there, a whisper caress that made her crave more. He was hesitant to touch her though, and she didn’t blame him after the events that had just unfolded. The faintest touch had been too much. It had grated on her nerve endings to the point that it felt like hot coals were continuously being pressed against her skin. She’d been wearing a nightgown but at one point she knew she had ripped it off of herself, unable to take the thin material against her skin anymore. She still felt raw, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it had been.
“I think I’m ok, I think I made it.”
He reverently searched her face, he seemed almost afraid to believe that what she was saying was true. He looked nearly as broken and beaten as she felt. Lines that she’d never noticed before were etched into his face, there were dark shadows under his eyes, and his hair was matted to his forehead. They both smelled, she realized dimly, and she almost laughed out loud at the realization. She’d been hideously smelly when he’d first claimed her as his blood slave, and she was just as bad now that he’d claimed her again. This time, forever.
“How do you feel?” he inquired.
“Like I died,” she answered honestly.
His fingers skimmed over her cheeks as he traced a line to her lips. Shock flickered through her as she felt a tingling, prickling sensation in response to his tender prodding at her canines. Amazement filled her when they lengthened and sharpened against his finger. Her gaze flickered to his wrist and the two red marks marring the inside of it.
She traced the bite mark as she frowned. “Did I do this?”
“You did.”
She didn’t know what to make of that, part of her wanted to cry and the other part was strangely titillated. She didn’t recall doing it, but she had a dim memory of something sweet and delicious filling her. She vaguely recalled something that had managed to break through the anguish for just a brief moment, and now she understood why. “Did I hurt you?”
“Nowhere near as much as I hurt you.”
“You didn’t do anything I didn’t ask for. We both wanted this.” She managed a wan smile. “And it worked.”
He still looked as if he wasn’t completely convinced. “It appears to have.” She seized hold of his hand, wincing as the motion made her abused muscles throb. “You’re still in pain,” he accused.
“I’m sore,” she admitted. “But it’s much better than it was.”
His hand spread out across her face as he cradled it. “Perhaps a bath….”
“Sounds incredible,” she agreed eagerly.
He moved gingerly from the bed, careful not to disturb her as he left the room. She listened as he moved around the attached bathroom, surprised by the intensity of the sounds, the acuteness with which she heard them. She’d been so determined to get it over with, to do it, that she hadn’t thought about what it would be like after. What the world would become to her newly deadened but yet enhanced body. It was as frightening as it was astonishing.
Water was turned on; she could almost feel the heat of it already blessedly encompassing her tender body. He was back beside her, his eyes troubled as he knelt at her side. “Can I?” he asked as he held his arms out to her.
Aria remained unmoving as she warily stared at his arms. She desperately longed to be in them, but the memory of the pain was still fresh in her mind. She gathered her courage as she managed a small nod. She braced herself as his arms gingerly slid underneath her. It was a little uncomfortable, but that was swiftly buried beneath the rush of pleasure that flooded her sensitized skin. Her toes curled as she pressed closer to him, mesmerized by the thrill that shot through her at the feel of his bare skin against hers. Skin, she was beginning to realize, that might always feel this electrified by his touch.
“It’s different,” she breathed. “It’s all so much more… intense.”
His brow furrowed, he stopped walking to study her. “Is it unpleasant?”
“No, just somewhat overwhelming. The world is clearer, it’s louder; my skin feels as if lightning bolts are zapping through it. It’s an amazing feeling but it’s, ah it’s…”
“It’s inhuman,” he supplied.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Is this what you feel like all the time?”
“I was born this way Aria, I’ve never known anything different. I’ll help you through it though; we will get you through this.”
“I’ve no doubt,” she replied with a small smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head into the warm hollow of his throat.
“Can you stand?”
The question, asked days ago, would have offended her. Now she had to think about it. “I’m not sure,” she hated to admit.
He sat her on the edge of the tub. Steam rose up around her, warming her as it floated in the air. He knelt before her and reached around to test the heat of the water. His hands rested on her knees as he leaned closer to her. The feel of him enveloped her; it warmed her more than the heat of the bath on her back. He pushed the hair over her shoulders, his fingers lingered upon his marks on her skin. The bites left by his father and brother had faded rapidly during her transition, and were barely visible anymore. She didn’t think she’d even be able to see them anymore if she was still human.
His hands were gentle as he helped ease her into the tub. A moan of pleasure escaped as she was engulfed in the blessed heat of the water. “We stink,” she mumbled.
“We do,” he agreed as he grabbed a bar of soap and shampoo from the sink. “It’s been an endless three days.”
“Is that how long it was?”
“Yes.”
“It seemed like forever.” She swallowed heavily as he came back to her. She watched as he placed the shampoo and soap down and quickly shed his pants. Her mouth went dry as she took in his magnificent, powerful body. He slid into the large tub behind her and his legs clasped hold of her sides. Pulling her into his lap, he rested her back against his chest as he leisurely began to rub and massage her aching muscles. She leaned into him, savoring in the tender way he touched her, and the exciting new way he felt against her skin. He worked steadily over her body, rubbing and kneading her with a tenderness no one else had ever seen from him, or ever would.
“You stayed with me,” he whispered as his fingers worked over her arms.
“I told you I would.”
His hands stopped moving over her as they enfolded her against him. “I was still worried.”
“I know; so was I,” she admitted.
He turned her head toward him and nibbled on her lower lip as he kissed her. Heat sizzled through her as a rocking sensation unlike anything she’d ever experienced shot through her. His kisses had always melted her, but this was different, it felt as if she were actually dissolving against him. She needed to feel the reality of the press of his lips against hers, of the warmth of his tongue caressing her mouth. She’d been so frightened she would never feel anything like this again.
He pulled slowly away, his eyes intense and fiery as they bored into hers. The dark shadow lining his jaw made him appear harder and more dangerous as her fingers trailed over the bristly hairs. He was glorious though, and he was hers, forever.
Everything she had just endured had been completely worth it.
His fingers started to work over her muscles again; he washed her hair for her and cleaned the shampoo from it before washing his own, and helping her from the tub. Her legs were shaky, she felt like a newborn colt, and she supposed in some ways she was. She was able to stay on her feet as he towel dried her, wrapped a robe around her, and loosely knotted the belt. “Do you want me to brush your hair for you?”
Though it sounded appealing, she didn’t like feeling this helpless and needy. “No, I think I can handle it.”
He nodded, but he stayed within the room, leaning against the counter as he watched her. She felt slightly uncomfortable with his scrutiny. “I’m not going anywhere,” she assured him.
“I don’t know that yet Aria, not for sure.”
“I’m sorry for what you went through.”
He frowned at her as he folded his arms firmly over his chest. “What I went through was nothing compared to what you went through. I would do everything in my power to take away what you just experienced.”
“It was worth it.” He remained doubtful looking as his eyes scanned over her. “I would do it again for this result Braith. Don’t ever doubt that. The memories of the pain will fade, the millions of memories we’ll make together will last forever. Life is so fragile and delicate all the time, we have to seize every moment we have together, have to cherish every gift that has been given to us, and this is one such gift Braith. We can be together, forever.”
She didn’t realize she was crying until he leaned across the counter and wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “I do cherish it,” he whispered against her lips as he rested his forehead against her. “And you. I look forward to every one of those memories.”
“Good. Now, can you stop watching me as if you’re afraid I’m going to go toe up again at any moment?”
He laughed quietly as he kissed her. “Ok.”
She reluctantly pulled away from him and wiped the steam from the mirror. She stared at her reflection, surprised by the sight of the woman staring back at her. It was her still. She was tired, drained, and beaten looking, but it was still her. Relief filled her. Despite what Braith had said about her being the same, she’d still been terrified she’d be confronted by a half crazed monster with red eyes and fangs, or a shadow of the person she’d once been. Instead, it was simply a girl with dark auburn hair made darker by the water, brilliant blue eyes, and a face that had thinned out from grief, staring back at her.
Braith rested his hands on her shoulders. “Are you ok?”
“It’s still me,” she breathed.
“It is.” Her fingers slid over the mirror as she traced her features. “Let me.” She didn’t argue when he took the brush from her hand and began to work it through her hair. “Were you expecting someone else?”
“I didn’t know what to expect,” she admitted. “I half feared I’d be a monster.”
He met her gaze in the mirror, holding it for a poignant moment. “You could never be a monster Arianna.”
She smiled shakily at him, acutely aware of the fact that when it came to him she very well could be a monster in order to ensure he survived. She closed her eyes and relished in the comforting feel of him pulling the brush through her hair. She was also becoming aware of a new scent and a new discomfort growing within her belly. She didn’t understand what it was though, and as she hesitatingly scented the air she couldn’t place the delicious aroma.
Braith placed the brush down and led her into the bedroom. She slumped onto the bed, tired and still a little sore. That growing twinge in her stomach was starting to spread outward. It was actually becoming uncomfortable as she shifted on the bed in an attempt to ease some of the discomfort growing within her.
Braith’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. Her hand fluttered up to her chest, she swallowed heavily as a rush of saliva filled her mouth. “But I don’t feel right. There’s something, it’s here, it’s aching.” She pressed her hands to her stomach and her chest. She couldn’t find the words to describe the growing distress of her body.
“Ah,” he said with dawning realization. “You’re hungry.”
She frowned fiercely at him as she shook her head. “No, I’m surprisingly not hungry.”
His smile was sad and understanding. “Yes Aria, you’re just not hungry for mortal food, not anymore.”
She felt like an idiot as her mouth parted. “Oh,” she breathed as understanding filled her. “I see.” Her gaze strayed to his neck, the solid muscles that corded it, and the vein she saw running just beneath the surface. She tore her gaze away from his dampened skin as the discomfort bloomed into a scorching fire. “Is this what you experience all the time?”
“Not all the time.”
“Since you met me?”
He brushed the hair back from her face. “Not all the time.”
She shuddered, she ached for the torment he had gone through, the torment she hadn’t been able to understand until now. “It’s an awful feeling, how did you deal with it?”
“Years of experience, and you. Just being with you made it all worth it.” Her discomfort was forgotten as love streamed through her. She kept thinking it wasn’t possible to love him more, but he always managed to prove her wrong. “I’ll teach you how to control it but if you feed well, and often, it will be easy to control. You won’t have to feel this way again Aria, I’ll make sure of that.”
Her gaze drifted back to his vein. She shuddered as desire tore through her and left her shaken. It was not his body she hungered for right now though, but something more and it frightened her. She’d fed from him once, but she didn’t recall it and didn’t know how she’d done it, or if she’d even done it right. “Braith,” she gasped.
“It’s ok.” His hands were on her waist; he lifted her and eased her into his lap. “It’s ok Aria.”
His hand wrapped around the back of her head. She remained unyielding in his grasp as uncertainty, dread, and a coil of disgust warred incessantly within her. “What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t.” She licked her lips, starting in surprise as she felt the harsh prick of her teeth. A whimper involuntarily escaped her. He turned his wrist over, revealing the marks to her. “This didn’t hurt.”
“I was completely out of it; I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“You knew what you were doing then, and you’ll know what you’re doing now. Just let your instincts take over; they’ll guide you through this.”
He guided her head to the hollow of his neck and rested it there. She could smell the sweet scent of his blood as it wafted out of him. It was delicious, enticing as it ensnared her within its scent of spices and earth, and her. She pressed her lips against his warm skin; he tasted of soap and something more, something masculine and dark and powerful. Something that she craved with a driving frenzy that frightened her, but that wouldn’t be denied.
How had he ever been able to control this kind of consuming thirst around her?
She tried not to think, tried to shut her brain down as she let the instincts he spoke of take over. Her lips pulled back, her teeth, no they weren’t just teeth anymore, they were razor sharp fangs, and right now they were aching to be buried in his tender skin. A small shudder of anticipation rocked him as she pressed her fangs against his skin. She hesitated, kissing him for a long moment before she bit down. His hands clenched upon her back, a low groan escaped him as she pulled his blood from him. Pleasure swamped her; she pressed closer as the sweet flow of his blood filled her mouth. She didn’t feel repulsed; she wasn’t sickened by the flavor and heat of it within her mouth. It was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted as she felt their minds surging forth to mingle together.
Her fingers dug into his back as his joy mixed with hers. She’d experienced it as a human, but now, as a vampire, it was even deeper and more open. There weren’t any barriers between them. He was completely bared to her; she felt the ebb and flow of the darkness within him. Felt the lengths and depths of brutality he would go to for her, and the others he sought to protect. He revealed to her the true depth of his fear for her, the extent of his instability within The Barrens, and when she had been taken by Caleb.
It shook her, humbled her and brought her to tears. She’d always known he was powerful, always known that it had been stressful for him when it came to her, but he hadn’t revealed the true depth of that strain until now. He hadn’t revealed the true depths of his dislike, and lack of pleasure and satisfaction he experienced with anyone else’s blood.
Aria pressed closer, unable to get enough of this glimpse into him, of this complete baring of the soul of the man she loved so desperately. She simply couldn’t get close enough as she exposed everything she had to him, and revealed all of her love and concerns to him as he did to her.
She was enmeshed in his pleasure, caught up in his love as she nestled closer. The soreness in her body eased, her muscles loosened further the more that she consumed. She bit deeper into his neck, relishing in the blood and energy that infused her.
A low groan escaped him; the headboard crashed off the wall as he slammed his hand against it in an attempt to curve the burgeoning desire she felt swirling up through his body and into hers. She whimpered as he released the headboard and buried his hand within her hair. His mouth pressed hotly against her shoulder, his fangs nipped at her skin before biting. If she’d had any doubt that he wouldn’t find her blood as appealing, it was quickly squashed by his intense delight as it engulfed her.
She wrapped her legs around his waist as he shifted her in his lap. Aria was consumed with love as she lost herself to the touch and feel of him. The pleasure he took from her engulfed her, she couldn’t separate her own ecstasy from his as she was consumed by his infinite wonder and fulfillment.
The rest of the world faded away as for the first time she gave herself to him with no fear of what the future held. For the first time she knew complete safety and security. She knew there was nothing that could ever tear them apart again.