Chapter 9
Beast
Waking up the next morning to the most gorgeous woman in the world on top of me, what could be better? Well... Having her tangled around me, fills my heart more than I ever could have dreamt possible. It’s also causing me to have the worse mornin’ woody I’ve ever experienced. With her still out from the sedative and peaceful I can leave her. I carefully untangle myself from her placing my pillow in her arms. Then cover her with the comforter before heading to the bathroom to shower and take care of business.
When I finish with my shower, I decide to run downstairs for some breakfast in bed for us. I check on Bella before leaving the room, she’s still out, and I suspect she will be for a little while longer. I place a soft kiss on her forehead before leaving.
When I enter the hallway, Cowboy’s exiting his room across from mine and catches my eye. “Hey, man. How’s your girl doin’?” he asks compassionately.
“She’s still out from the sedative Sam gave her last night. I was going to run downstairs and get us breakfast before she wakes up,” I say trying to hurry down the stairs, so I can get backup before she wakes up.
“Do you want to wait out here in case she wakes up before you get back? She may freak out or something if she doesn’t see you?” That might be a good idea just in case she wakes up and panics if I’m not there.
“Thanks, man, I appreciate it. I’ll be back in five,” I say rushing down to the kitchen.
When I enter the kitchen, Jules and Gigi are standing in front of the stove. They’re cooking eggs, bacon, hash browns, and pancakes.
“Wow, it smells delicious in here. Mornin’, girls.” They both turn to look at me with big smiles on their faces. Gigi comes barrelling over to me with a big hug giving me a look with her big amber eyes. They resemble Bella’s completely.
“How’s it going, Mini Princess?” She giggles a cute sound from such a tiny thing. “Good, Gio, can I take my sister breakfast this morning? Please,” she asks with a puppy dog look on her face. I turn to Jules, and she nods letting me know something’s up.
“Sure, you can make her a plate with some eggs and toast. I’ll be up shortly.” I give her a big smile and a kiss on her forehead. Then she let’s go of me so she can make a plate of food for Bella.
Once she’s gone, I go to stand by Jules. “How’s she doing?” I ask worriedly. She gives me the puppy dog look too. What is up with these girls this mornin’?
“We heard Bella’s breakdown last night. The guys tried to get Gigi outside once we realized what was going on. She heard some of what she was yelling, got scared and started crying thinking someone was hurting her sister again. She even tried her hardest to fight the guys to get to Bella. Ace, Blaze, and Dusty finally got her out of here and reassured her you would take care of her. They took her to the horses to calm down.”
Oh shit, that poor kid. How are we going to explain all this crap to her?
“That’s why she wanted to see Bella this mornin’,” I whisper more to myself confirming my suspicions, and she nods. I wonder if I should give them a few extra minutes before running up there and checking on them. As I'm contemplating this Blaze walks in the room apparently overhearing our conversation.
“Give them a few minutes alone, you can’t protect them from everything. Unfortunately, your girl needs to handle this shit with her sister, not you man,” Blaze says walking over to me.
“Fuck, this is so hard navigating through this shit. I want to protect both of them, but I don’t know how to sit back and accomplish that for them when their hurting. It’s just hard to figure out. It’s killing me to see them hurting. And having to watch Bella relive this shit in her nightmares…” I cut myself off shaking my head not wanting to sound like a total pussy. I also don’t want to reveal too much in front of Blaze. It’s hard sitting back and watching the girl I love hurt. Having to see her baby sister hurting too is tough. I need to get my head straight.
“OhmyGod! You’re in love with her. Aren’t you?” Jules blurts out practically yelling it through the whole damn clubhouse with a huge smile on her face. All I can do is smile back at her and nod.
“Sweet Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, does she know?” I can’t talk for some reason, my tongue is caught in my throat, so I shake my head no. Jules giggles at me and gives me a big hug. That makes me mad, but before I can respond, she bursts out with a shocker.
“Gio, you have to tell her. She’s in love with you too, she always has been. To be honest, I really think it will help her since you’re the only the only man she lets near her, let alone touch her. I’m sure if Ces were here it would be the same with him, but he’s more of a girlfriend.
“When she was in the hospital, and that bastard or his goons would go near her, she would recoil and shake with fear. She tried to hide it for Gigi sake, but I always saw it. With you she’s different…” Jules trails off and walks back to the stove leaving me hanging. I look over at Blaze with my jaw clenched, and he just shrugs.
Ace walks in the room and over to us at that moment. Apparently, everyone is in on my conversation this mornin’.
“She’s right, I’ve seen her with you, and she’s comfortable. When any of us guys come near your room, she shakes unless you’re holding her. You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel, man. It just may be what fixes all this shit for her,” Ace says piling his plate with food.
Since he’s one of the few people who know the whole fucked up situation with Bella and I trust him with my life, I’ll take his advice seriously.
For now, I’ve had enough of the Dr. Phil section. It’s time to get back to my girls. I make a plate quickly. Before leaving, I turn to them and say, “I’ll talk to her. Thanks for the Dr. Phil section.” I leave heading back to my room to check on the girls and hear them all laughing behind me.
When I get to my room Cowboy is waiting for me.
“Sorry, man, I got caught up with some shit. Thanks for waiting for me. How are they?”
He smiles a shit-eating grin and says, “Shorty woke her up. They’re talking. Apparently, your girl rattled the shit out of her last night. I think seeing her and talking to her is helping.” I nod walking to my door to check on them.
I don’t want to engage in any more shit this mornin’.
And apparently, the guys have nicknamed Gigi Shorty, it fits.
When I enter the room, I see my girls hugging and crying on the bed. I place my plate on my desk and go over to them.
After 20 minutes of calming and comforting them, I finally get their asses settled down. We eat together then Jules comes up to check on them and to get Gigi. I give them a few minutes alone leaving Dusty to listen out for the girls by the door in the hall.
I head to the Prez’s office to check on club business. I know I’m on a break from the club to take care of Bella, but I still need to be kept in the loop.
I enter Gator’s office quietly seeing Blaze and Snake are occupying the chairs in front of his desk. So I opt for the couch next to Ace.
They’re discussing the run that is a support to take place Tuesday evening, in two days for the Rockin’ Macks MC.
Those assholes want to evade our territory, and Gator is seriously allowing them. He says they’re just riding through once a week and it will bring more money into the clubs and our pockets. I’m all for anything that helps the clubs. As for me, I’m more than comfortable with money, not like most of the guys.
I see trouble with them crossing through our territory. Unfortunately, majority ruled this one and only time will tell.
When our business is completed, I get a call from Prospect Torch, a package has arrived for me at the front gate. I retrieve it and head back to Bella and the girls. When I come back at my room Dusty is gone. He must have taken Gigi so the girls could speak in private.
Like the jackass, I stand by the door with my ear press against it listening to them before entering. I don’t want to interrupt them, but I need to know what they’re saying. I hear Bella and Jules talking and sobbing. This causes my breathing to stop and a lump to form in my throat from hearing Bella tell her about that night Anton attacked her.
I want to go in and comfort her and take all this pain away from her, but I can’t bring myself to move.
I want to hold her close to me and keep all the evil in this fuckin’ world from touching her. That’s what my girl needs from me. Unfortunately, at this moment I can’t give it to her that, and it slays me.
I stand here frozen, listening to her play by play, reliving her worst nightmare. My blood is boiling, and red is blurring my vision. I have her box in one hand, and my fist is clenching the other. My jaw is iron-tight, I may just break it this time.
While listening to her story, a storm brews inside me from hearing how brutal that bastard attacked her.
My breathing is erotic, red blinds my vision, bright fuckin’ red. I have to get out of here and get myself under control before I see her. I place the box gently on the floor in front of the door and storm off down the stairs.
When I enter the bar, I collide into Ace on my way out the front doors. I need to hit something or shoot something or maybe both.
“Hey, man, what the fuck?” Ace says grabbing onto my shoulders halting me. I shot him a murderous look, and he backs up from me with his hands in the air defensively. I calm my breathing and thoughts for a second. “Send Sam to see Bella. Now! I’ll be in the fuckin’ gym,” I say seeding with my whole body shaking. I race out the fuckin’ door to get away from everyone before I hurt one of my brothers. As I get to the door, I turn back to Ace. “Stay with Bella! Don’t even think of fuckin’ touching her or I will fuckin’ kill you! Just watch over her!” I leave and hear him yelling, “I would never touch her, I’ll watch over her. You go cool yourself the fuck off before you come back to her.”
I run straight to the gym and thank fuckin’ God it’s empty. I need space, and no one near me or I may hurt someone. I remove my shirt throwing it to the floor and head straight to the punching bag not bothering to glove up or tape my hands. I walloped the bag seeing that sonofafuckin’bitch’s face with every punch I throw.
This whole fucked up shit storm is a colossal mess. I still can’t find her brothers or her best friend. I’ve gone through all my dad’s old contacts and the family I know in Italy searching high and low for the guys. I even check out a few contacts I had, no one has seen them since they left. So they must be laying low underground, I just need to find out where. The biggest problem is figuring out if they’re still in the country or in Italy. I hope for the girls’ sake they’re all alive and in hiding or this will destroy them. I have no information on their cousin in Italy that runs the operations there. I never got into too much of the business with dad, I never wanted to be part of that world. I’ve known Val my whole life and know he’s a smart and resourceful man. I just pray to God that the four of them are safe because, with Anton’s connections, they could very well be six feet under, never to be found again. The guys are the only one who can help me shut Anton down.
Fuck, I need to calm my shit down and get back to Bella. Staying out here isn’t going to help her. I don’t know how long I’ve been here hitting this bag, but my hands are bloody and hurting. My arms ache, but I keep pushing myself through the burn. All I know is I’m drenched with sweat and still reeling. I’m infuriated by this whole fucked up situation. I’m still no closer to figuring out how to get my hands on that motherfucker and end his miserable fuckin’ life.
I hear the door open letting in the evening light streams in. I look up from the bag as they shut and see an angel prancing towards me, cautiously mind you. She’s wearing one of my white T-shirt, that’s huge on her but looks sexy and white capri leggings. All at once from the sight of her, my anger dissipates, and I feel a calmness wash over me. Seeing her face has done more for my soul than this fuckin’ bag. I freeze watching her cautiously come to me until she’s within a foot in front of me. I want to take her in my arms, but I’m drenched in sweat. I grab my shirt from the floor and throw it on not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable.
She comes a little closer to me, and I see relieve flash in her eyes before she lowers them to the floor. “Gio, are you alright?” she asks shyly in a quiet tone. I want her to look at me and be the strong woman I know she is. I calm my breathing as I walk closer to her taking her left hand in mine pulling her closer to me. She raises her head finally looking in my eyes. I see fear in them; she scared of me. I have to reassure her; I don’t ever want her to fear me.
“I’m fine. Why are you out of bed, Princess?” I say in a soft calming voice to comfort her. The look in her eyes transforms from fear too anxious in a flash. She turns to the door then back to me. Ace is standing there watching us and waiting for my order.
“I haven’t seen you all day. I thought you might be mad at me after last night,” she says sadly in a whisper that I barely catch.
Her words sting me and seeing her like this, I’m kicking myself in the ass, and it’s my undoing. How in the hell could she thinks I would ever be mad at her for expressing herself.
I take a deep breath and say fuck it. Taking her in my arms not giving a damn about being sweaty, kissing the top of her head. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my sweaty, covered chest.
I give Ace a look to leave us alone and wait for him to leave.
“Princess, I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you. I just needed a few minutes to clear my head. I’m sorry if I upset you,” I say, and she relaxes in my arms.
“It’s almost dinner, and you haven’t been around. Ace’s been in your room with me all day, so I thought I had done something wrong,” she whispers making me realize how long I’ve left her today.
I don’t answer for a few minutes to compose my thoughts.
She untangles herself from my embrace, and I let her go.
She turns to face the door with her back to me and takes a few steps away. After taking a few deep breaths, she says, “I needed you today, Gio. God knows I hate that I did, but I was so upset. I am not this person, and I hate this person he’s made me become.” She pauses to compose herself.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like Ace, but it makes me uncomfortable being alone with a man that’s not you.” She takes another couple breath, and I stay frozen just listen to her. She obviously needs to get it out, but I can see she also needs me too.
I move closer to her and take her hand entwining our fingers evoking an electric spark between us. She looks down at our connected hands, and I see the tears streaming down her face falling to the floor. She squeezes my hand as if taking my strength for herself in order to continue.
“I spoke to Jules and Sam earlier, and they said it’s okay to feel this way and lean on you. Sam says you’ll help me through all this, I want help. I need help not just for me, but because I have to be there for Gigi now.
“I have to be whole and strong again to be able to raise her on my own. But by asking for your help, I’m so scared and afraid of what you’ll think of me. What other people will think of me for asking for help.
“I never wanted anyone to know what happened to me, least of all you. It’s embarrassing, and I’m ashamed. I would hate the way people look at me and always feel sorry for me.
“I knew I would always be alone, never having the man of my dreams and I was okay with that. I just never dreamed anything like this would happen to me. I can’t blame anyone but myself…” She collapses to the floor cry before I can grab her. I immediately follow taking her in my arms hating every word she just said. She shouldn’t feel this way at all, and I won’t allow her too.
“Why didn’t I fight harder? Why couldn’t I fight him off?” I cut her off from finishing.
“Princess, first: none of this was your fault, it’s all that bastards fault, at all.
“Second: I want you to depend on me. I can’t change what happened or what I know because it will help me make you realize the strong woman that you are.”
I breathe in her scent to calm my nerves and the anger I feel towards myself for her feeling this way.
I lift up her chin to look into her eyes. I tuck a strain of her hair that escaped her ponytail behind her ear.
I have to set her mind at ease and make her realize she is loved. Not just by me, everyone in her life loves her. Here goes the moment of truth. I just hope it the right time to do this for her.
“You’re not alone, baby. You’ll never be alone again, you’ll always have me.” Deep breaths, I can do this for her, for us.
“Princess, I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years, and nothing will ever change the way I feel in my heart.
“You’re mine now, you always have been and always will be. I’m never going to leave you, I will always be by your side.
“When you’re ready, in the meantime, I’m here to help you find your way back to yourself. You. Are. Mine. Forever.”
She stares at me with tears streaming down her face. For a few minute time is suspended and everything is quiet. I’m praying I haven’t screwed this shit up with her and pushed her away from me.
Stupid fuckin’ asshole, what were you thinking doing this now? Maybe I came on too strong, or it’s just too soon? What the fuck is wrong with me? She has to heal first.
Now, I have to figure out how to fix this my major fuck up I just cause and hope I didn’t fuck her up more.
She whips her tears away, and a smile transforms on her face with a sparkle in her eyes. The sparkle I haven’t seen since the night of our first kiss by the lake.
She places her hand on the side of my face.
“Gio, I love you too. I’ve been in love with you since I was five and dreamt of being yours. I really have, but are you sure you still want me. Tainted. Damaged. Broken,” she says, the last part dropping her voice down to a whisper.
She’s lost her smile turning sad in a flash as the word come out of her mouth. My anger skyrockets. Oh hell no, how can she think she’s any of those things? I need to fix this and fast.
“You. Are. Not. Tainted. Or damaged. As for broken maybe, but broken can be fixed,” I say smiling.
“You are a beautiful, young, strong, caring, loving and smart woman.
“You are not defined by what has happened to you, and I’ll spend the rest of my days proving that to you.
“I promise you, I want you, Bella, now and forever.”
She smiles at me again, taking my hands on both sides of her face and kiss her on the lips. I just touch her lips with mine for a few long seconds. I run my tongue along the seam of her lips opening her up for me. She allows me to deepen our kiss and before I know what’s happening we’re playing tongue war.
I pack our kiss full of lust, passion, strength, and most of all love. This is the second best kiss of my life. The first one was the kiss we shared, only our lips touching so many long years ago.
My shitty day just got a whole lot better. I finally have my girl in my arms where she wants to be and belongs. I’m never going to be an idiot again and let her go. She is my world, my life, my future, and my happiness forever. I will forever show her how much she means to me. This is just the beginning our forever.