Chapter 2
Isabella
Jules and I are at the dessert table, and I’m about to grab a chocolate éclair when she squeals very loudly next to me. Then I realize why she’s so excited. The DJ is playing our favorite song ‘Fergalicious’ by Fergie. Jules grabs my wrist causing me to drop the éclair and dish with a loud thud noise on the table. She drags me onto the dance floor where Donatella and Antonia are waving for us to come join them. The four of us grab each other's hands forming a small circle and dance around singing our song. We're giggling having a grand old time with one another. We are the only ones on the dance floor allowing us plenty of room to move around the large space if we wanted too.
I can see Val, Romeo, Lorenzo, and Gio out of the corner of my eye by the side of the dance floor laughing, probably at us girls having fun and making fools of ourselves.
Val and Romeo are my older brothers. Val is five years older, and Romeo is two years older than me.
Lorenzo is Uncle Julio’s son and one of Val’s close friends, he’s seven years older than me.
And Gio is Uncle Lorenzo’s son and Val’s best friend to at five years older than me.
They are for all intense and purpose my ‘cousins.'
The boys always give us girls a hard time and making fun of us for having a good time because we’re so much younger than them.
Donatella just turned 13 years old, Jules will be 13 in September, Antonia is 13, and I’ll be 13 next month.
We are also like cousins and part of “La Famiglia Mafiosa.” (The Italian Mafia Family)
My family is the head family here in New York and throws this party for every year kicking off summer. We have the party on Saturday night before Memorial Day. My grandfather started this tradition when my father was born, and my dad took it over when he took over the organization. Gathering all the families together mainly for us kids to have some fun with adult supervision, for our safety, or so they say.
This year is special for us because the older kids have graduated high school with the exception of Lorenzo, he graduated two years ago and works under his father. The others will either be starting in the organization or going off to college in the fall. With the only exception being Gio, he enlisted in the military, the Marines to be exact and will be leaving us soon. The younger kids have graduated from middle school and will be starting high school in the fall.
My father is Dominic Castellani, The Dom, The Boss of the Le Famiglie (The families). He took over for my grandfather when Romeo was born. Grandpa Giuseppe (Joe) Castellani the former head for over forty years is still involved even after passing the reigns on to my father. He doesn’t have the final word anymore – he’s more like a silent partner - the men still acknowledge and respect him and his word.
Some call my father, the Mafia King, and his queen - everyone refers to - my mother, Amelia for over twenty years. They have five children together, three boys and two girls. Valentino the oldest - we all call him Val. Romeo is next younger by three years his senior. Then there’s me, Isabella - everyone calls me Princess or Bella - I’m two years younger than Romeo. Then there is Sebastian, the youngest boy - we call him Bash – he’s three years younger than me. We also have a baby sister Giuliana - everyone calls Mini Princess or Gigi – who is only three years old.
Our brothers and I call her baby girl. She is seven years younger than Sabastian. The ops baby has our family refers to her.
My brothers are known as the Principe (Prince) and my sister, and I am referred to as the Principessa (Princess).
Dad has five Capos (captain) under him. His head Capo/Underboss or second in command is Joseph Esposito - Uncle Joe as we refer to them and their wives are called aunt out of respect. He’s married to Maria, and they have two children, a son, and a daughter. Antonio (Anton) is four years older than Donatella.
Julio De Rocchi is my father’s second Capo - Uncle Julio - is married to Aunt Constanza, and they have three sons all four years apart. Lorenzo is the oldest, Dante’s in the middle and Maximiliano (Max) the youngest.
His third Capo and Enforcer is Lorenzo Valentino. He’s married to Aunt Cynthia, they have two sons, Giovanni (Gio) the oldest by two years and Carlo.
His fourth Capo is the Pasquale Calvalli. He’s married to Aunt Camille, and they have two daughters. Julietta (Jules) my best friend and her older sister by five years, Angela.
And last, but not least is his fifth Capo Lucca Milani. He’s married to Aunt Angelina, and they have one daughter Antonia.
All my father’s men grow up in the same neighborhood as him. Their fathers were in the organization under my grandfather. They each run their own crew and have a few head soldiers and foot soldiers under them.
As the last few verses of the song play, we all stay on the dance floor waiting for the next song to play. The next one is a slow song, ‘You’re Beautiful' by James Blunt. My baby sister Gigi comes darting out to me to join our circle dancing. Gigi loves to be around me, and I love having her around most of the time. She’s annoying sometimes, but I love her to pieces.
As I take Gigi’s little hand in mine, we dance around for a few minutes until I feel a hand tapping me on my shoulder.
When I turn around, Anton’s in my face with a great big smile. He’s five years older than me, and whenever he’s near me, I get the heebie-jeebies. I swear this boy is infatuated with me. He always grabs my hand to hold, sitting next to me at family dinners and tries to dance with me at all our parties and dinners. He’s weird around me, and I only see him like a brother nothing more. I wish he would just get a clue and leave me alone.
What he doesn’t know, only Jules and my father know, is that my heart belongs to another boy. I’ve been in love with Gio since I was five-years-old and he was ten.
Gio is 6’4” all muscles with short shiny, wavy black hair. The most gorgeous hazel eyes that change colors, they can be the brightest blue like the Puerto Rico Ocean when he’s amused and emerald green when he’s angry.
But most the time they are the purest gray, like steel that I have ever seen when he’s happy. He turns 18 on Memorial Day in two days and will be leaving us the following week for boot camp.
Instead of following in his father’s footstep in the organizations he chose to enlist in the Marines and fight for our country.
Antonio grabs me by the wrist roughly and yanks me away from my little sister’s hand and friends.
Jules takes her little hand and dances with her to distract her.
“Dance with me, Izzy,” he demands hauling me behind him. It’s not a request it's more of an order. He’s the only person who calls me Izzy, even though he knows I hate it. And the way he speaks to me is another subject in and of its self. It’s just downright disrespectful.
He drags me to the other side of the dance floor away from the girls with an iron-tight grip on my wrist.
A few couples are dancing now, but no one is close enough to hear us.
“Let go of me, Anton, you’re hurting me,” I whisper yell at him loud enough with the music blasting for him to hear me.
I also hate when he manhandles me. I try my hardest to yank free of his control, but he’s too strong for me to even budge him.
He finally releases my wrist only to snatch me tightly around my waist, pulling me into him. I’m so close to him I can smell his spicy cologne, and it’s making me sick to my stomach. I try to wiggle away from his grasp again, but nothing’s working.
“Please let me go, Anton, you’re hurting me. Stop!” I yell this time. He doesn’t let go of me, only tightens his hold on me.
He leans into my ear and says, “You’re going to dance with me, Izzy, and you’re going to like it. Now, shut the fuck up and dance like a good little Principessa before you make me mad. You don’t want to upset your daddy do you?”
He kisses my cheek when he’s done causing me to shiver with repulsion. I despise him and his touch.
There is only one man I ever want touching me, and it’s definably not Anton and never will be.
He’s holding so tight onto me I know I'll have bruises on my waist tomorrow. He also has me pressed up against his chest, and I can feel something hard poking into my stomach.
I want to fight him, if I could only move a tiny bit, I could hurt him by kneeing him in the groin like Val taught me.
But then my father and brothers would hurt him for hurting me. It would cause too many problems with the families.
Unfortunately, the best thing for me to do is just get through the song.
As the song finally comes to an end, I try to wiggle out of his grip. He jerks me closer to him holding me tighter hurting me more than before and causing my panic levels to rise. He senses me tense under his touch.
“Let’s take a walk around the lake. Shall we,” Antonio says capturing my hand and towing me along.
I plant my feet to their spot. I'm not walking around outside with him at night by ourselves. One: I don’t want to be alone with him. Two: my father would kill us both if my brothers didn’t find us first.
“NO!” I shout over the music, and everyone stops what they are doing to stare at us.
Anton turns to me giving me a death glare that says shut up and move.
I can’t catch my breath from the heaviness of fear in my chest, it’s too much. Anton scares me on a good day when he’s demanding, and the way he’s looking at me is making it worse. No one ever talks to me the way he does, and I don’t like it. Jules tells me all the time I should tell my dad, but I don't want cause any trouble. Grandpa has really been pushing to give him my hand in marriage when I turn 18 because Antonio’s family is second on the chain of command. Dad knows how I feel and he promised me the marriage would never happen under his leadership. It’s just better not to show weakness, ever.
Last year Angela had a problem with a boy at school, and the older boys beat him up. I don't want them to hurt Anton. I just want him to leave me alone! Forever!
Anton leans into me with malice in his eyes and tone as he says, “Don’t you dare make a fuckin’ scene you little bitch. You will do as I say, or you will regret it. Let’s go. Now!” I begin to feel dizzy as I pull myself away from him.
Then I see Gio running onto the dance floor towards us.
The two of them argue as Gio tries his hardest to get me away from Antonio.
I start to shake in Gio’s arms from Anton’s words and tone. Fear of taking hold of my body and I hate it.
The music has stopped playing, and everyone is quiet as they watch the scene with three of us play out.
I turn into Gio’s chest and cry. I tried to hold back my tears from spilling out, but the stress is consuming me. I’m not a crier normally, but Anton really scared me and crossed the line tonight. And I’m at my breaking point.
Through my tears, I see my daddy briskly walking towards us with my older brother Val darting over from the other side of the room. Both look furious as they close in on us.
Dad and Val handle the situation and dad orders Gio to escort me outside for air.
I drop to the ground not caring if I get my white dress dirty from the misty grass. If I can’t be clean, daddy will buy me another one when I need it.
With my head forward, my long black wavy hair cascading over my face entirely to conceal it from his view. I try to compose myself.
A few seconds later I feel Gio arms wrap around my shoulders leaning me into his chest. He has me in-between his legs rubbing my back to calm me down. I turn my head and cry into his chest to get it all out of my system. He just holds me knowing just what I need at this moment.
I inhale his smell, Giorgio Armani Cologne, motor oil from working on his motorcycle, and his very own brand of manly musk. My favorite smells to comfort me. I’m going to miss them and him when he’s gone.
We stay like this for what feels like hours, but in reality, it's only a few minutes until I calm myself down. Once I’ve composed myself enough and wiping my eyes dry, he gently slides my hair off my face tucking it behind my right ear.
I thank him for saving me from Anton and say I don’t understand why he likes me so much.
I can’t believe he just told me it’s because I’m beautiful, and that’s why Anton likes me. We both know it’s more than just that. Anton wants to be part of my family, - the head family - the only way for that to happen is by marrying me one day. My grandfather promised him, but will never happen.
I’m afraid to answer his question when he asks me if Anton has ever hurt me before. He hasn’t really, thank God, he’s just always nasty with his words towards me.
I know boys and men should speak to girls with respect. My father only talks to my mother with utmost respect and in a loving way. When I hear my uncles speak to my aunts or us girls it's the same. I don’t understand why Anton uses such vulgar language with me.
I’m a petite girl, very thin at 5’2”, but I’m no push over. I know how to fight and handle myself if need be. My brothers, Val and Romeo and Gio have been training me for the last few years in how to fight and defend myself. I even got to shot a handgun for the first time this year. Dad and my brothers want me to be able to protect myself when they’re not around.
As we finish our talk about Anton, I turn to stare in his eyes. They’re bright green with fury behind them. He still has his arms around me, and his body is trembling with anger. Not towards me, it’s all towards Anton. I continue to stare at him as he looks out over the water. For a few minutes, time is suspended for me. He gets himself under control then turns to me. We stare into each other's eyes, and it feels weird, almost familiar to look in his beautiful stormy gray eyes now. Being in his arms feels the same with an electric spark igniting between us. He makes me feel safe and connected to him in a way I don’t feel in anyone else's arms. I don’t understand these feelings I have for him completely. I know I’m young, but we have a connection that I can’t explain just yet. It’s defiantly there, and it’s strong.
Maybe it's because I love him even though I know he could never love me back has anything other than a little sister. I wish we could stay like this with me in his arms forever and let the world pass us by. It would make me the happiest person in the world.
“Have you been kissed by a boy, Princess?” Gio asks with a furrowed brow and bright blue eyes. His question has rendered me speechless. I can’t believe he just asked me that. No boy has ever tried kissed me and probably never will because they a too scared of my family. Also, how can I tell him that I never want any boy to kiss me, I only want his kisses. Kisses he will never give me.
I’ll be 13 next month, and I will go the rest of my life waiting for him if I have too. Dad once told me that if we are meant to be, we will find our way to one another one day. I long for that day and will wait as long as it takes.
I shake my head no to afraid saying the words to him out loud. Then out of nowhere, his lips press against mine in a soft sweet tender kiss taking my breath away. One of his hands travels up my back to my hair, and the other to my lower back as he tugs me closer his rock hard chest. He doesn’t open his mouth, I just get his lips on mine. Too soon it's over, and he's drawing his lips away from mine. We’re both breathless as we sit there for a few more minutes staring into each other's eyes connecting our souls as one.
My body feels like I’m on fire from the inside out as we sit catching our breaths. I can’t believe one of my dreams have come true and he kissed me. I will forever remember this moment and his lips on mine. The only boy that will ever touch my lips.
Then I hear Romeo yelling for me breaking our connection. I jump in Gio’s arms afraid Romeo will see our embrace and interrogate us.
Gio helps me to my feet as Romeo comes barreling towards us. It’s time for my night to end. I say goodnight and thank you Gio again before being ushered off by my brother to our limo.
On the ride home all I can is think about Gio’s lips on mine. Absentmindedly, I caress my lips with my fingers still feeling his lips on mine. I can't believe he gave me my very first kiss. The only boy I ever wanted to be in his arms and have his kisses did, and it was perfect. I know I’m almost 13 years old, but I understand how I feel in my heart and who it will always belong to. Tonight sealed my fate with him. My heart will always and forever belong to Giovanni Sebastiano Valentino.
****
Little did I know after the night at our summer party, I wouldn't get to spend any more time with Gio. He avoided me at our Memorial Day cook out spending all his time with the guys. We also celebrated his birthday and him leaving for boot camp the following week.
I didn’t know that after that day I wouldn’t see him again until the following year at his father’s funeral? Uncle Lorenzo and some of his foot soldiers were killed during a deal gone wrong. I'm sure gun or drugs were involved, but I’ll never know the truth. That’s how things work around here, the women and children are kept in the dark for our own protection.
I wasn’t able to spend any time with Gio while he was here or speak to him because he was too busy taking care of Aunt Cindy. She was a mess, and Gio and his brother, Carlo, had to handle all the legal and financial paperwork while he was on a short leave from the military.
Shortly after he returned to the Marines and Aunt Cindy moved in with her sister on Long Island for a few years. Mom keeps in touch with her and gets reports on Gio and Carlo. Carlo finished his law school recently and is an Attorney in Chicago for a big law firm handling criminal law.
Gio retired from the military after six years and is now living in Florida. He’s part of a Motorcycle Club out there with a few of his friends from the military. Aunt Cindy moved down to Florida last year after her sister, Marcella, passed away, to get away from the cold and be closer to Gio. According to mom, she lives about an hour away from where Gio lives and sees him once a month. She says he’s happy and doing well.
It’s been nine years since I laid eyes on Gio, ten if you considering I only saw him from afar at his father’s funeral. I’ve missed him every day since and my heart aches for him and worsens as time goes on. Jules says we should take a trip to Florida and track him down. She knows how much I love him and miss him dearly. He’s constantly in my thoughts wondering what he’s doing? Is he seeing anyone? If he’s genuinely happy with his new life? I know I’m not and never will be without him. I go through the motions daily for my family and friends, but my hearts not into any of it.
Dad always tells me that if it’s meant to be it will be. He also tells me if I want Gio so terribly, he will drag his ass home and make him mine. Dad would do anything to see me happy, even if it means making someone unhappy. I would never upset Gio’s life and force him to love me the way I love him. I’m content with loving him from afar and being by myself for the rest of my life. I don’t need a man; I have enough men in my life.
I’ve tried to get dad to let me travel, but he always says ‘now is not the right time. It’s too dangerous.’ I’ve sought out to track Gio down, but he’s not on any social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snap Chat. He’s nowhere to be found. I search the internet all the time just to get a glimpse of him now. I only have one picture of him on my phone. It’s copy of a picture he sent Val a couple of years after he left. I found it hanging on Val’s wall and took a pic of it with my phone. I guess you could say I’ve resorted to stalking him with no luck. I could call Aunt Cindy and ask her for his information, but I’m too afraid of him rejecting me. My heart hurts enough without his rejection on top of it.
****
After that night of our summer party when Val took Anton home, he did, in fact, beat the shit out of him. The next day dad had a little chat with him too. Things calmed down for a while after that night. Grandpa backed off from pushing Anton into our family by marrying me. Two years later grandpa got sick and passed away suddenly.
I only see Anton at our summer party, and he kept his distance from me. He started out at the bottom of the family ladder as a foot soldier and has been working his way up the ladder. He’s been going through the ranks for the past six years and had finally made it to Capo alongside my brothers Valentino and Romeo. Lorenzo, Uncle Julio’s son also followed in his father’s footsteps and took over his crew as Capo five years ago. Times they are a changing, it’s out with old and in with the new as dad says.
Dad has been relinquishing more responsibility to Val grooming him to take over the business in the next year or two, so dad can retire. Romeo will be his underboss, Lorenzo his Enforcer, as well as Capo's and Antonio, will be his third. Bash will be high in the ranks one day; he still needs more training according to dad and Val.
Recently, Anton has been trying to get on dad’s and my brother’s good side. He asked dad for my hand in marriage last year. Anton said he would take things slow and we could date for a year first. Dad asks me what I wanted, and I told him to flat out ‘No, I didn't want to marry Anton or anyone.’ I still can't stand to be near him. Dad knew all this, but out of respect for me, he asks anyway.
I'm almost 23 now, and I just finished college. I received my Master's degree in Accounting and Business. I want to open a clothing boutique here in the city with Jules, and Cesare – my best friends - my partners. They have a degree in Fashion Design and will design the clothing, and I’ll handle all the financial and management. It’s a win, win situation for us. We get to work together, and we will also be finding a place to live together. Since we’re all single and don’t have any prospects, it will just be the three of us for a while.
Dad said he would finance it for me and we can work out a plan to repay him in the future. He’s already set up an account for me with $250,000.00 in it. He has a realtor looking for spaces for us to live and the business.
Cesare is Jules and my best friend, we meet our first day of high school at freshman orientation and have been inseparable ever since. Everyone is totally in love with him. He’s the only man dad has ever allowed in my room and my bed.
He knows as much about me as Jules and loves girl time and shopping as much as we do. He also has better taste than us. Got to love gay guys, they do put us, women, to shame in that area.
He’s also great to have around when googling at guys. Hey, I may be in love with a certain someone, but I’m not dead, I can look and comment on hot guys. And even though I’ve never had sex, having a guy around helps for tips on sexual things, techniques and things I’ll probably never use on the man I want. But it’s all in fun.
Everyone’s been calling us the three musketeers since our freshman year.
Jules mom, Aunt Camila passed two years ago from breast cancer, and Uncle Pasquale died less than six months ago from liver cancer. Her sister is married to a well-known Heart Surgeon. They live in the Boston and just had their first child, a boy named Vincent.
Cesare and I are all Jules has, and as her best friends we will always be there for her. At this rate, it will probably be the three musketeers for the rest of our lives.
I have my dad, my brothers, and Cesare. They would protect me with their lives.
Gio has a whole different life away from here, and I could never fit into it. It was never in the cards for us to be together and live happily ever after. He will always be my prince, but I was never meant to be with his princess. Maybe in another life, we will be together, but not in this one. He will always hold my heart and soul in his hands, and I’ll always love only him and see him in my dreams every night for the rest of my life.