Sara Jane

Alexander is in deeper than I thought, and I don’t think I can pull him back from those depths. My anger makes me wonder if I should try. Thinking back to a conversation we had earlier, I meant what I said. His darkness doesn’t scare me. Neither does his temper . . .

“My life for yours, Alexander, and yours for mine.”

“This isn’t a fairy tale, Firefly. This may not end with a happily ever after.”

“Not all fairy tales have a happy ending.”

“We’re defined by the decisions we make when given options.” His anger gets the best of him and he roars, “Well you should get the happy ending, little girl.”

He turns away from me and walks down the hall. Closing the door, I know he needs the quiet, needs to be alone, and needs space to think. When push comes to shove, he refuses to shove back when it comes to me. But I can handle the truth. I don’t need Prince Charming, a glass slipper, or a white horse. Those won’t save me from the depths I’ve fallen for him. Which is why I have to keep him present, his mind off the bad so he can see all the good that remains. I will be strong enough for the both of us. I will be his mighty Firefly.

. . . I’ve packed a suitcase and filled two boxes at my apartment. There’s no need to continue paying rent for a place I never go to or stay at anymore. The manor may not be my idyllic place to live, but Alexander is all the shelter I need. Even if he’s currently mad, I know it won’t last. He’s not used to being challenged by anyone, much less me. That’s something he’ll have to get used to.

I’m in the kitchen getting my favorite mug from the cabinet when the door opens. “Shelly?”

Shelly scowls. “What the hell are you doing here?” The door slams behind her and she starts for her bedroom.

Desperate to talk, to connect to my best friend, I ask, “I understand why you’re mad at me, but I don’t want to lose you.”

She stops just outside her door, her head lowered, and sighs. I see the debate in her body language, the way she shifts as if she’s giving in to something she doesn’t want to, but does it anyway and turns around. “When you were warned by me and your parents that King was bad news, did you listen? No, you didn’t. If you had, Chad would still be alive. But it’s never about anyone but you, is it, Sara Jane? I think deep down you were playing the victim long before that attack. The one who was taken advantage of by the big bad wolf. I think you like people to believe you’re innocent. You’re not. Chad’s blood is all over your hands.”

“Shelly. Stop.”

“Stop?” She laughs, not amused. “Did you really tell me to stop?”

“I’m asking you. Nicely. Please. Please don’t do this. We’ve both lost enough already.”

Her raised voice startles me, “What have you lost? You’re the queen of fucking everything.”

I’ve lost so much . . .

My baby.

Part of my liver.

Chad.

Almost my life.

I can’t get into that now or I’ll break down. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about King. I’m talking about more money than you know what to spend it on. I’m talking that mansion, and everything you’re given while the rest of us made sacrifices.”

“I’m sorry, but those sacrifices were not made for me. I understand you’re hurt—”

“Do you? Because I don’t think you do, but I want you to. I want you to feel every ounce of pain I feel. You brought this plague on us. You brought the thunder and storms. Chad was a saint, and he died for you.”

Tears well, but my pride keeps them from falling. “I’m sorry for that. More sorry than you’ll ever know . . .” I keep the memory of life leaving his eyes from her. I’ll forever feel that pain and guilt. His death is a scar I’ll always wear on my heart. “I didn’t ask him to come—”

“You didn’t have to, but he went because that’s the kind of guy he was. He knew you needed help and he went.” She screams, “Leaving me alone forever.” She shoves me.

My back hits the wall and my arms fly up defensively. “Don’t touch me.”

“Or what? Who’s going to help you now?”

“You will not cower nor cater to someone disrespecting you. Not now. Not ever.” Alexander’s words come back to me. “You know.”

“Is that a threat, Sara Jane? Are you finally growing a spine?”

“What is wrong with you?” Stepping away from the wall, I push past her. “Obviously, I’ve made a mistake coming here for you.”

I make my way into my bedroom and close the door while she yells, “Clearly.”

I’ll send someone to get my suitcase and boxes and to pack the rest. I need out of this place. I need away from her. I grab my purse and walk into the living room. Shelly stands in the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hands when I walk by. I know her well enough to know that’s not the first drink she’s had today. Her meanness is coming from somewhere, and I think she found it at the bottom of a bottle. I don’t blame her. I’d do the same if I was in her position, but I don’t have to accept it. “The apartment’s yours. I won’t be back.”

“What about rent?”

I stop with my hand on the doorknob, and look back. “Alexander will cover the full rent for the remainder of our lease. It’s the least we can do to help.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, the least.”

This time I don’t respond. I leave. It’s hard to see a friendship die, especially one I thought could survive anything. It’s been put to the test, and we failed. Just outside the front door, I turn and look back at the place I called home for years.

The door doesn’t open. Shelly doesn’t come after me. No apologies are made. Our friendship is severed for good. My gut twists and my heart aches. Chad is gone. And now Shelly.

I still have Alexander. Maybe he’s all I need in life. Maybe that’s the right he always had when he claimed my soul as his.

I get into the car and start the engine. Peering through the windshield, I look at the window to the apartment. Shelly stands in clear view, her eyes burning with hatred.

Alexander wanted me to have a life and friends outside of him. I did, but now they’re gone. If this is what friends do to each other, I want no part of it. Why does everyone turn on you eventually? Is this a part of growing up or moving on?

Or is this a side effect of being with a Kingwood?