Empty corridor loomed ahead of Sawyer. Most of the base had turned in for a restless night before a team headed out in the morning with Darr to destroy the Chittrix nest. Sawyer took a deep breath and rapped on Julia’s door.

He had no idea if she’d speak to him or even listen, but he desperately needed to hold her and be honest about his feelings before they left tomorrow. Every time he’d left the base, he’d understood he might not return, but this time was different. This time, he had to tell Julia what he felt.

Time was precious, and he was tired of playing games. He smoothed down his shirt. Sharing this with her was the right thing to do, the only thing that mattered now. It was time to grow up.

The door opened, and there she was. A cloud of dark waves rested on her shoulders, and her lips parted in surprise. Behind her, a computer monitor spooled through columns of digits faster than his eye could track. Tools littered her desk, and the room hummed with the smell of hot electrics.

He stroked her arm. “Hey. Still working on the damn Sweeper?”

She rubbed her eyes. “Hello to you too.” She peered over her shoulder. “I’m close enough to have a handheld for tomorrow. I think. Shit.” Squinting at him through her glasses, she pushed them further up her nose in that way that drove him crazy. “What is it, Sawyer? It’s late.”

“Well, I thought you might ask me in.”

He stepped closer, his hands slipping past the swell of her breasts, grasping her waist and pulling her to him. He crowded her with his body, enjoying the softness of her rich curves pressing into him. Julia melted against him and his tongue teased the fullness of her lips, exploring the yielding warmth of her mouth.

He shifted, making room for the growing constriction in his trousers. She pressed into him, meeting his urgency, before suddenly breaking the kiss. Catching his hand, she pulled him into the room and closed the door behind them.

Her scent enveloped him, a warm vanilla that soothed his bruised emotions but she pushed his arms from her waist and took a step backward. She shook her head, her mouth a firm line.

“Sawyer, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

He took a small, hesitant step backward. Her expression was serious and distant. He stiffened. Whatever she had to say to him, it didn’t look good.

Julia bit her lip. “I…we need some space.” The words rushed out of her as if they’d been pent up behind a dam. They swamped his brain, trying to find purchase, casting darkness over the bright thoughts that had sustained him only moments ago.

“Space for what?” He stepped forward again, finding her fingers. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles, but she wriggled free.

“Julia?” He suppressed the wave of panic gnawing at the edge of his voice.

She raised her hands. “Stop. I need to think. There’s too much happening right now.” She jabbed a finger at the door behind him. “I’m freaking scared Chittrix are going to come storming down that corridor at any moment. I don’t have unlimited time. Neither does this scraggy community we’re living in. We’re hanging on by our fingernails. The Sweeper is a priority. It needs to be done now. Did you see how scared everyone was in the communications room this afternoon? They were petrified.”

Julia shook her head, and her tone dropped an octave, forcing him to strain to hear her final words. “I don’t know if there’s room in my life for us right now.”

He waited for her to say something else, anything to soften her words. But she didn’t, and they faced each other for an interminable moment.

She picked up a tiny screwdriver and began scratching at a screw that was completely locked tight. “We had a deal, didn’t we? That deal kept us safe. It meant I could work, and you could go out there and do what you needed to do without me falling apart, scared to death you wouldn’t come back.”

He swallowed the thick lump in the back of his throat. “Julia. Things change. I’ve changed.” He still hadn’t said what he’d come here to say and it skated on the tip of his tongue.

He took her hand. “I think I—"

“I can’t do this.” She jerked her hand away abruptly, knocking a cup of abandoned tea off the desk. She held her hands up in a placating gesture. “I’m sorry.” She fumbled behind the computer for a box of tissues and began mopping up the spill, dabbing ineffectively at the splashed equipment, her hands clumsy and awkward.

Sawyer rubbed the rigid muscles in his neck. “I haven’t even finished my sentence.” His voice was edgy, on a sharp rim between anger and affection. He glanced away, composing himself. She wasn’t going to push him away so easily.

He covered her hands with his. They were small and delicate, like tiny birds. With his thumb and forefinger, he could easily encircle the delicate bones of her wrist. He ran his thumb across the soft skin, feeling her pulse beat. When he looked at her, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes for the first time.

“Why are you trying to mess things up?” Her voice cracked.

“I’m not messing anything up,” he replied, his throat constricting. “What we have, it’s not real, Julia, and there isn’t time for that anymore. We have to stop fooling around and pretending we don’t care.” He looked her straight in the eye. Jesus, if she didn’t just bore to the very center of him with those brown eyes of hers. “I care. I care about you.”

She shrugged. “If what we have isn’t real, then all the more reason to put it out of its miserable existence.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. What was she talking about? “Are you even listening to me? I’m not talking about ending our relationship. I want more.” He stopped, unable to continue.

Her eyes were bright and feverish. She tore her gaze from him, blinking hard.

Shit, he hadn’t come here to upset her. He wanted to make her happy, for fuck’s sake.

He spoke in a low voice. “You don’t mean that. I know you don’t. What’s your plan? Never feel anything for anyone? That’s not you, Julia. I know you’re not that cold.”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I just can’t do this anymore. What we had worked for a while, but it was never going to last. I’ve been an idiot. I let myself be distracted. Now, I have to get things back on track. I have to focus.”

“No.” He gripped her trembling hands. “What we need now is to take care of each other. That’s why we’re hanging on and fighting.”

Her expression tightened. “Don’t tell me what I need. You’re describing a pipe dream. Something we were peddled in movies before all of this.” She gestured at the worn military room. “Now the fight against the Chittrix must take precedence over everything, and for me, that includes you. I’m sorry.” She wrested her hands from his and retreated behind her desk, refusing to look at him, her attention fixed to the floor.

Sawyer rubbed the back of his neck, air hissing through his teeth as he released a long, slow breath. “You’re so fucked up, Julia, and what’s worse, you don’t even know it.”

Her head snapped up. “I don’t need you to look after me. I can take care of myself. I’m good at it. I’ve been doing it for years.” Her voice lowered. “You’ve had plenty of other women. Like Beth. There will be more after me too.”

“I don’t want anyone else and why are you bringing up Beth?”

Julia pressed her lips together and crossed her arms. “Nothing. Forget it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

She stalked to the door and wrenched it open. Impulsively, he cupped her cheek, but she flinched from his touch, and he released his hand as if scalded.

“Just go,” she said. “You’re expecting things from me that I can’t give you. I have to focus on my research.”

His mouth was dry as he drew on the last vestiges of his reasoning skills. “We’re going back to find these fucking Chittrix in a few hours, and I wanted to be honest with you. I hoped…I thought you might feel the same but…” His shoulders sagged. Her face was unwavering. She wasn’t going to change her mind.

She shook her head. “It’s for the best. We can still be friends.”

“That’s not what I want Julia.” Because I’ve fallen in love with you. He clenched his hands into fists in his pockets before the tremors betrayed him. He could barely breathe, his chest rigid as he struggled to hold it together.

He spun away before she shut the door in his face, his heart numb as he strode down the corridor without any idea where he was going. Right now, he didn’t care, as long as it was as far away from Dr. Julia Simmons as possible.