Julia showered, oblivious to the rapidly cooling water. After drying herself, she applied clean dressings to her savaged knees and shins. Ten minutes of staring into space in front of her laptop under the pretense she was working was a miserable failure.

The events of the day were still a bloody, unstoppable scream in her memory. Green, suffocating water invaded her mind, casting her back to the sewer and being dragged under by Darr’s iron grip while the water stormed her throbbing lungs. And finally Beth, trapped between the maelstrom of Chittrix and detonation.

Sawyer’s reaction to Beth dying had stirred something within Julia. Something she’d not known was there, hidden even from herself. She told herself it was plain over-protectiveness stirring in her belly. She could handle that. It was a simple, two-dimensional emotion she could track and label. Although, how she was going to fit the multi-dimensional emotional rollercoaster taking over her heart and head into such an uncomplicated category, she had no idea.

Julia held her hands out. They were trembling. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to return to the present. Sawyer was alive and uninjured. That was all that mattered. She should be relieved and get on with things. After all, they were just friends. Sawyer was not part of her life plan beyond the fun and sex they shared. No man was.

It was easy to repeat the words and tell herself that, but her heart was confused.

The way he’d avoided her when they arrived back at the Command base. The way he’d roared in the aftermath of the explosion, his legs propelling him toward Beth’s body and the broken way he’d sagged against the side of the Jackal when they emerged from the sewers. These events shouldn’t have hurt her, shouldn’t have made her feel like her heart was being torn apart. But they did. They cut to the quick of her. Everything in her head was a crappy mess.

She stood up, snapping her laptop shut. Five minutes later, she was outside the door of his room. Reason told her to walk away and work. Work had always been her solution, the salve to her problems and now refining the Sweeper was more important than ever.

Shut up, Julia.

She had no idea what the hell she was doing anymore, but she knew she wanted Sawyer.

* * *

Sawyer froze as the door of his quarters opened, and Julia stopped short in the doorway. She blushed, snatching guilty fingers away from the access pad she’d just hacked. His hands remained suspended in midair, the disassembled rifle forgotten as his pulse rocketed and his throat constricted.

“Julia?” His hearing was still muted but his voice scraped painfully against his throat.

“I …” Her voice was strained.

The door closed behind her, triggering an inferno of sexual heat through every atom of his body.

Time stretched out between them in a long, hushed second. He stood, his legs unsteady as Julia crossed the room, her eyes never leaving him. Her lips parted, and the tip of her tongue licked the bow of her top lip in a tiny, darting motion. She kissed her fingertips and pressed a kiss to the steri-strips taped to his head.

He absorbed the glorious, soft curves of her body. She’d showered, her damp hair dark and curling in loose waves on her shoulder. The thin fabric of her grey tank outlined her nipples. Unusually, she wore a skirt, the light fabric skimming above her dressed knees. Blood had soaked through in spots from the wounds underneath.

His attention drew back up to her face. God. Heat blazed in her eyes hardening his body in an instant and desire flashed through him like a match to gasoline. His heart raced, and his mouth was parched as he greedily absorbed every inch of her. The scent of her shampoo, sharp and citrusy invaded his brain, undoing his last lingering shreds of control.

Her fingers traced the back of his hand in a direct line to his aching cock. Raw lust shot through him as he cupped the softness of her breasts rising in short, panting swells.

Suddenly she was in his arms, raised on her tiptoes, as her mouth crashed against his. She reached for him with unhindered need, her tongue hot and searching as she fought to be close to him.

She bit his bottom lip, sucking on the soft flesh. Molten heat surged into his groin as he kissed her back, his tongue touching hers as he teased and tasted. He thrust his hands into the thick, damp waves of her hair, clasping her to him, never wanting to let go.

Finally, he broke from the kiss breathless, still hungry for the sweet taste of her. His mouth kissed lower, across the edge of her jaw, his hands stroking the small of her back. His stubble grazed her neck, rustling against the delicate skin in a soft whisper. Small, breathy cries of delight tumbled from her lips, driving him insane. He tugged her closer to his body, forcing her to arch her back and give him access to her throat.

A voice in the back of his head screamed this was different; this wasn’t friends with benefits anymore. This smart, beautiful woman had lodged herself in his heart. Sawyer ignored the voice, letting it drown under the demands of Julia’s body. As his hands slid down the curve of her hip, the white-hot hardness of his erection was almost painful against his fly.

Her fingers tightened against his side, urging him on. He traced the edge of her bottom lip with his finger. Hungry for him, she took his finger into her mouth, running her teeth and tongue along the calloused edge. He growled against her throat, pushing her shoulder straps aside, as she licked then kissed the palm of his hand.

She tucked her fingers under his belt, running her nails in a delicious frisson across the skin of his abdomen before she unclasped his belt. She tugged the thick leather hard, yanking his pelvis against her.

He lifted her easily. She entwined her legs around his waist, holding him captive, her heels digging into the back of his hips. He turned and slammed her against the wall, restraining her exactly where he wanted. Instinctively, her hands flew out in self-protection, but he grabbed them, securing one in each hand. He dragged her arms high above her head, stretching them tight. She gasped, but the unrelenting grip of her thighs around his waist and the small rocking motion of her hips told him she wanted more.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he growled against the soft curve of her ear.

Julia responded with a low moan, her pelvis riding against the rigid planes of his abdomen. He transferred her right hand to his left, securing both of her wrists together, then he gripped her top, dragging it over the swell of her belly and dusky nipples, releasing her breasts. His free hand covered her skin, luxuriating in the weight of her soft flesh against his palm. He flicked one nipple with his thumb and a small mewling sound escaped from deep in her throat. His hand skated lower, smoothing over her thigh, playing with the drape of the skirt she’d favored for her damaged knees.

“This is so pretty and soft,” he muttered as he rubbed the fabric between forefinger and thumb. He let it drop and dipping below the hemline, his hand whispered against her tender inner skin with the barest of touches. “Just like you, Julia.” A small whimper of pleasure escaped her lips as his hand explored higher. Here, the lace of her underwear blocked his access. His fingers pressed against the delicate fabric, thumbing it aside to allow his fingers to slide into her warmth. She gasped under the insistence of his touch, her inner muscles clamping down on him.

“God.” His voice was a low growl against her collarbone, the slick feel of her driving him crazy. “You’re so tight and so fucking wet.”

With a swift jerk, his hand tore the scrap of material that passed for underwear from her body, exposing her to the cool air. He was hungry to possess her, to claim her, the recent proximity of death and violence fueling his arousal and the roughness of his actions.

He rocked back from her slightly, unzipping his trousers, the metal on his belt clinking as he freed himself. She moaned, her eyes half-lidded. Sawyer nudged the smooth head of his cock against her folds for a brief second of exquisite anticipation, then he rammed every iron inch of himself inside her, crushing her to him.

Julia cried out under his brutal penetration as he sank deep, her hands pinned in a relentless grip against the wall. He speared upwards, deep to her very core. He couldn’t go slowly, driving into her mindlessly was the only thing that would keep him together and obliterate the death and destruction of the past forty-eight hours. His only sanctuary from the hot mess of the world was when his cock was clasped deep inside her hot, tight folds.

He felt his release building, a boiling sphere circling low at the base of his spine as her legs circled him tighter, impaling herself on him as he continued to drive into her. His hand slipped between her thighs, finding the smooth nub of her clit and riding it with a hot, slippery circle from his thumb.

“God, Sawyer,” she muttered, her voice thick with need as she tightened around him. Heated pressure constricted his cock and Julia stiffened as her release rocketed through her. Her body arched and she screamed his name.

He crushed her bottom lip between his teeth, inhaling her scent and tasting the salt of her sweat on his tongue. The tenuous thread of his control shattered as he yanked the tight glove of her body down hard and with a final, hammering thrust his own release roared through his body.

Sawyer held her tight as pleasurable aftershocks pulsed through him, waiting for his ragged breathing to return to normal. Through the relaxed haze of scattered thoughts he kissed her, still savoring the sensation of his cock lodged deep inside her. His breathing eased and he dropped his head to the crook of her neck, releasing her hands. Her gentle fingers stroked his skull, caressing the buzz of his hair.

Beth was dead, and he couldn’t change that, but Julia was here and alive in his arms.

Alive.

He was going to fucking make sure she stayed that way.