After breakfast was cleaned up, everyone gathered outside, wearing whatever protective gear Connor had been able to find. Beau, Fiona, Sean, and Connor had regulation protective eyewear and hard hats. Benji and Micah had to make do with snorkeling masks and bike helmets instead of hard hats.

This probably wasn’t the safest activity they could be doing, but they needed some way to deal with these feelings. Since he really wanted to hit something, he figured they might want to as well.

Connor made them put on their heaviest jeans, boots, and old sweatshirts. By the time they had laid tarps out on both sides of the old, crumbling wall, he was already sweating.

He walked up and down the line, hands behind his back as if he were inspecting the troops. “This is the shoddiest-looking deconstruction crew I’ve ever seen,” he announced, bonking Benji on the top of his helmet. “But you’re all I’ve got. So I’m counting on you to get the job done.”

“Everybody got gloves and some kind of hammer?” They nodded. “Okay. Now spread out pretty far away from each other. Benji, you’re with me. Micah, stay with Beau.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” she said, saluting with the small sledgehammer he’d found for her.

“Remember what I told you. One at a time. Start with the loosest bricks you can find. Watch out for other people, and if anyone yells clear, run as fast as you can. Okay?”

Five heads nodded at him.

“Benji, you first. Show me what you got.” He pointed Benji to a spot about shoulder high on the boy where friction was the only thing keeping the bricks piled on top of each other, vines having pushed through the old mortar ages ago.

Benji’s ‘sledgehammer’ was a hard rubber mallet Connor had used to pound tent pegs into the ground. Holding it in both hands, Benji swung as hard as he could at the brick, grunting with the impact. The top three bricks went flying, landing on the tarp with a satisfying thunk.

Micah cheered. “Yay, Benji!”

Benji grinned. “That was fun.”

“Do it again,” Connor urged. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Beau using his phone to take pictures of the event. “Yell at it.”

“Stupid wall,” Benji shouted, hammering away. “Stupid wall. I miss my mommy and daddy and I’m mad and I can’t yell at anyone!” He swung wildly at the wall. He flailed blindly. When he finally stopped, the mallet falling from his hand, Connor dropped to his knees next to the boy and hugged him tightly. He was crying and gasping for breath. “Did I do good?” he asked Connor.

“You did perfect, buddy. Just perfect. I miss them, too. Can I hit the wall for them, too?”

Benji nodded.

Connor picked up his big sledgehammer. “Stand back,” he said.

Beau waved Benji over to him.

Holding the hammer like a golf club, Connor took aim at the last few rows of brick in front of him. “This is for our mom. A beautiful lady taken away way too soon.” He swung the hammer in a low arc as hard as he could, feeling the reverb in his arms and shoulders. They were all going to be sore after this.

“And this one is for Brent. The best man I ever knew, and I never even told him.” His next swing sent brick flying far past the tarp and into the long grass by the side of the river. He let the hammer drop to the ground and pushed up his goggles to wipe the tears away with his sleeve.

“Are you crying?” Micah asked.

“I didn’t know grown-ups cried,” Benji said, awed.

Oh man. Connor couldn’t remember ever crying in front of the kids. Not even at the funeral. He’d been too numb and terrified for tears. He’d thought at the time that he was being strong, but maybe that wasn’t what they needed from him right now.

With a choked laugh, he let the tears he had been trying to hold back fall. “Grown-ups cry all the time,” he said.

Benji looked to Beau for confirmation. Beau nodded. “It’s true. We just do it when you guys are asleep.”

Benji ran over and threw his arms around Connor. “You told me it’s okay to cry. So it’s okay for you, too.”

“Thanks, buddy. Can I tell you a secret?”

Benji nodded, eyes wide.

Connor looked over his head at the older kids who were staring solemnly at him. “Sometimes I’m afraid to start crying because it feels like I might never stop.” Sean nodded at him, his face more open and honest than Connor had ever seen it.

“Me next,” Micah said. Winding up, she let the hammer fly, whooping as the bricks went flying. She did it again and again until a substantial pile of crushed bricks lay at her feet.

“What was that for?” Fiona asked.

“Those stupid girls at school who won’t let me sit with them at lunch. I hate them!” she yelled.

“I hate them, too,” Sean shouted. “Stupid girls.”

Connor made a mental note to talk to Micah more about the subject. “Fee?” he asked. “You ready.”

“Oh, yeah.” Fiona held her almost full-sized sledgehammer like a softball bat. Very familiar with how hard Fiona could hit, everyone took a few more steps back. “Screw you, Tabitha Moore,” she said, swinging at the top row. “Screw you and your big boobs.”

Winding up, she took aim at the center of the wall. Her body twisted with the force of her swing. “I’d rather be flat-chested forever than a—” Luckily the last word was washed out by the sound of brick crumbling as her portion of the wall collapsed completely under the force of her anger.

Connor added a conversation with her to his mental list. He wondered if Mrs. Lamb would have advice what to do about that. Maybe those women from the hockey game. Or Peggy. Or Dear Abby. Anyone.

Sean barely waited for Fiona to step away before he was hammering at the wall so hard, Connor was afraid he was going to hurt himself. Each blow landed with a loud crack, followed by the sound of brick hitting brick.

When he saw Sean’s chest heaving, Connor yelled at him from as close as he dared to get. “Sean. Sean! Stop. You’re gonna pull something.”

Sean stopped with the hammer resting on his shoulders. His goggles were steamed over from his sweat. Connor walked carefully over to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “You have a game later. You gotta take it easy.”

Sean nodded, and Connor took the sledgehammer out of his hands. “Do you want to share what that was all about?” Connor said quietly, for his ears only. “You absolutely don’t have to.”

Sean looked at his family, waiting patiently, without any judgment, and took a deep breath. He let it out with a whoosh. “I think I might be gay.”

Fiona and Micah exchanged glances. Connor had a feeling they knew more about what was going on in the house than he did.

“Or bi,” Sean continued. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, I think.”

Connor grabbed him into a tight hug, beyond grateful when the boy—young man—held on just as tightly. “Welcome to being a grown-up,” he said.

Sean sniffled and laughed at the same time. “You’re supposed to tell me it gets better, idiot.”

Connor hugged Sean again before letting him go. “It does. I swear. But the older I get, the more I realize I don’t know.”

“Amen,” Beau added.

“You know you can talk to me anytime. About anything. Or Beau, if you don’t want to talk to me.”

“I know,” Sean said. “I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a dick to you two lately.”

“Don’t even worry about it. We’re all doing the best we can.” Connor straightened up, holding the sledgehammer. “So, did you leave any for the rest of us?’

“A little bit,” Sean answered. A four-foot stretch of wall teetered precariously in the weeds. It looked like a strong breeze would knock it down.

“Beau, your turn.” Connor held out the hammer to him.

“You sure you don’t want to go again?”

“Nah, I’m good.” If he started naming all his fears, they would be there all night. “Give me the phone. You go.”

“Yes, boss.” He handed Connor his phone, then made a show of spitting on his gloved hands and rubbing them together before lifting the hammer.

Micah and Benji laughed.

With one hand, Beau swung the hammer in a big circle, like it was Thor’s hammer. Connor took a minute to appreciate Beau’s strength, remembering the way he had moved Connor exactly where he wanted him last night.

“Stop it,” Sean hissed with an eye roll visible through his goggles.

“Sorry,” Connor said insincerely.

Making one last circle with the hammer, Beau let it swing, stopping abruptly before the head hit the bricks. With a gentle shove, he knocked the pile of bricks over.

Connor burst out laughing. “Nice. Not mad about anything?”

“Oh, I’m mad at a lot. Mostly myself though. Didn’t seem right to take it out on the wall.”

“Mad at yourself for what?” Sean asked sincerely.

Beau stared up at the sky like he could find the right words in the clouds. “For being a coward, I guess. For letting life push me around rather than figure out what I want to do for real.”

Connor got that. Boy did he. But from the looks on the kids’ face, the concept was still over their heads.

“Everyone feel better?” Connor asked. “Can we agree life is unfair and sometimes good people, like us, get screwed for no reason?”

They all nodded.

“You know,” Beau said, pulling off his gloves and goggles. “I know you guys have gotten a raw deal, but I have to admit, I’m jealous that you have each other.” He pulled his sweatshirt over his head, the T-shirt under it riding up as he did.

Connor saw Sean’s cheeks flush as he took a good look at Beau’s muscular torso before the T-shirt was yanked back down.

Connor couldn’t blame him. It was a sight worth savoring.

“I don’t have any brothers or sisters,” Beau continued, gathering up his stuff. “And I didn’t live with my parents for a lot of my life.”

“How come?” Micah asked. “Didn’t they love you?”

“Oh, they loved me. But they wanted me to have the best education money could buy, so I went to boarding schools overseas.”

“Boarding school?” Benji asked.

“Like in Harry Potter,” Micah explained. “When he goes to Hogwarts. But no magic.”

“No magic?” he asked Beau.

Beau shook his head. “’Fraid not. I learned how to play hockey, though.”

Sean gave Beau an evaluating look. “Did you go to college?”

“I did.”

“Where?”

Connor hadn’t thought to ask that. Of course, Beau had gone to college. He’d been everywhere. Grew up in countries Connor would probably never see.

“Harvard,” Beau said with a look to Connor as if he were worried that the answer would upset him.

“Wow,” Fiona said. “That’s…that’s impressive.”

“It’s just a college,” Beau said apologetically. “I only went because my father wanted me to.”

As if someone’s father’s wishes alone could get someone admitted to Harvard. But Connor wasn’t upset. Knowing Beau had an Ivy League education on top of his lifetime of experiences only made it more apparent that Hidden Creek was never going to be enough for Beau. He was destined for much bigger and better things than dating a thirty-year-old mechanic with four kids in some flyspeck town.

“Are you rich?” Micah asked.

“Yes,” Beau admitted. “Well, my family is. Personally, I only make five hundred dollars a week with the Tornadoes.”

“That’s a lot of money!” Benji said.

“So why are you doing that?” Sean asked. “Why are you playing hockey for peanuts and not working with your family? Or using your degree?”

“You sound like my parents,” Beau said, giving a humorless laugh. “I’ll tell you what I tell them. I don’t like ranching. I like playing hockey.”

“And us?” Benji asked.

“And you.”

“Come on,” Connor said, suddenly exhausted. “Let’s put this stuff away and get ready for the day.”

“What about the bricks?” Sean asked.

“Leave ‘em. They’ll be fine.” Connor draped an arm over Sean’s shoulders as they walked slowly to the house.

“Must be nice,” Sean said quietly.

“What must be?” Connor asked.

“Being able to do what you like all day without having to worry about money.”

Connor nodded. “You’re not wrong.” He watched as Beau opened the door for the kids, saying something to make Micah laugh, and rubbing Fiona’s head in a way that would have gotten Sean smacked. She smiled at Beau.

Connor shook his head and smiled. That man could charm the pants off anyone.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Sean asked.

“Yeah. I do.”

“But he’s not going to stay, is he?”

“Nope,” Connor said. “Why would he?”

Sean shrugged. “I don’t know. I like it here.”

“Me, too. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Except the shower, I hope. Because you stink.”

“Except there. And I’m going first and using all the hot water.” He bolted towards the house, Sean’s cries floating behind him.