Candace

The scent of Luke’s cologne was mixed with the strawberry body wash and shampoo he’d bought me, coating the blanket with the familiar scent of our night together. I wondered if he’d been sleeping out here on the couch since I’d been gone, using this same blanket to snuggle with as I was now.

The panic attack was close; I could feel it coming. Lyla taught me to recognize the signs and to practice deep breathing to help keep it at bay. I wasn’t sure it was going to work this time.

I inhaled deeply, sucking in air until my chest nearly caved, and then let it out slowly through my nostrils. My head spun out of control as I remembered that night when I bashed Damien’s head in. I knew he wasn’t going to forget about it, or me. He would want revenge, and he would be coming for me to get it.

His dark eyes haunted my mind, filled with hate and lack of humanity.

This was my mess, not Luke’s. He didn’t deserve to be in this. I should just leave, let him take me, do what he wished to me, and let Luke go on with his life. It appeared to be a good life, at least before I arrived.

Luke knelt in front of me, his eyes trying to penetrate my soul, a place he didn’t belong, didn’t deserve to see.

Damien’s eyes burnt into my mind, and his hands felt as though they were on my throat, squeezing the life right out of me. I wanted to puke.

“You’re okay,” Luke’s voice was kind.

He didn’t ask; he just told me. I wasn’t okay. I shook my head, took another deep breath, and tried to calm myself before I hurled what little lunch I’d eaten onto Luke’s floor.

His hand reached for me, grazing my leg. I flinched, pulling it away and tucking myself further into the blanket. Breathe.

“You stood up to him. You’re strong,” Luke said sternly.

No. I was weak, Damien had proven that time and time again. “Whore,” I heard his voice in my head. I never refuted it, never denied it. I believed it.

“I should’ve killed him,” I mumbled.

Luke’s eyes widened. I didn’t need to be inside his head to see that he agreed, that Damien was better off dead, that I was better off with him dead.

“You fought back. You pressed charges. You’re safe here with me, and they will catch him,” Luke insisted.

Catch him, and then what? My mind raced with thoughts of Damien coming to look for me after he was released. If he caught me before they caught him, oh, the things he would do.

“You don’t fight Damien,” I whispered, my voice stuttering with pain.

“You proved that you do, and you win.” Luke forced a smile.

My eyes glanced towards the gun on his hip. Part of knowing he was ready to kill for me made me feel safe, and the other part made me feel guilty that he may ruin his life to save mine.

“You’re stronger than you think,” Luke insisted.

I shook my head, fighting the tears that started to form in my eyes. I took another deep breath. I needed to fight this, to keep the panic attack from coming, but it was stronger than me.

Bang, bang, bang….

My heart stopped and then began to race as someone beat on the door. A screech rolled from my throat, and all I knew to do was cover myself in the blanket, wait for Damien to come inside, be shot by Luke, or take me away if Luke couldn’t stop him.

“It’s okay. Damien wouldn’t knock,” Luke assured me, his hand pressing against my leg as comfort.

He stood as I peeked from the blanket, walking to the door cautiously with his hand on his gun.

As the door opened my heart stopped, waiting, fearing the worst. Liam, Luke’s friend from court, entered, a look of concern on his face. A woman, Hispanic, short and curvy, entered the house behind him, her dark eyes smiling in my direction.

Luke pulled Liam aside, to the kitchen, and this woman headed straight for me.

She took Luke’s spot on the floor beside me, her eyes still smiling at me with a kindness I’d never experienced from a total stranger.

“I’m Alyssa, Liam’s wife,” she introduced herself, extending a hand for me to shake.

I was frozen, the elephant winning its battle to sit on my chest, paralyzing me from movement, making breathing more and more difficult.

“Liam filled me in on everything after he spoke to Luke and Theo; are you okay?” she asked softly, her hand reaching towards my leg.

I flinched, but couldn’t pull away. Her hand was there, placed on my leg, a stranger touching me during my time of stress. It somehow calmed me, oddly pulling me out of the deep anxiety I was in.

“You have nothing to worry about. These boys are trained to handle anything, so you are safe,” Alyssa assured me.

I liked her voice, soft and soothing. She appeared confident about Luke and Liam, but I didn’t know her or Liam other than the day at court and a quick lunch. Luke, I trusted, but not enough that I didn’t believe Damien would find a way past him. He would stop at nothing to get to me.

The men talked in the kitchen; their voices carried through the cabin, but not loud enough for me to understand what they said. I pulled the blanket down from my face, took another deep breath, and pushed myself to a sitting position from my slouched curl in the corner of the couch.

“I’m sorry you had to come here. I didn’t mean to cause all this drama,” I whispered, my voice still shaky from nerves.

Alyssa smiled. It was warm and inviting.

“It doesn’t sound to me like you caused any of this,” she said sweetly.

Her hand was still on my leg. I lowered my eyes to it, perfectly manicured nails, dark smooth skin, and a beautiful wedding ring on her finger with more diamonds than I’d ever seen.

“I just think it might be best if I go. I don’t want to cause any trouble for Luke, or for you and your husband either for that matter,” I spoke with more conviction.

“Nonsense. We stick together. We are a family,” Alyssa stated firmly.

I wasn’t family. I was an outsider. A person that caused nothing but drama. A burden.

Alyssa lifted from her kneeling position and sat on the couch beside me. Her hand lifted from my leg, allowing me to take another deep breath. I could feel my heart start to beat at a steadier pace, my breathing slow, and my chest relieved from the elephant who had occupied it just moments ago.

“What do you think they’re talking about in there?” I asked Alyssa.

She smiled warmly, looked towards the kitchen, and then shook her head.

“If I know Liam, he’s helping Luke plan turning this place into Fort Knox,” she giggled softly, pushing her long dark hair from her shoulder.

“How long have you been married?” I asked, curious how well she really knew Liam.

Alyssa didn’t waste any time telling me the story, how she’d known Liam her entire life. She told me about her brother, how losing him made her fear the same result with Liam leaving for the military.

“So, you’ve been together since you were just kids?” I asked.

Alyssa shook her head; her voice softened as she told me about the breakup, the baby, and how Liam came back into their lives.

I felt a strange connection to this woman I’d just met. Their story was similar to mine and Luke’s, but without the baby. We were in love, and I left, coming back into his life now, but with more of a whirlwind feel than a romantic one.

The boys came into the room, their faces stern and serious. Alyssa reached towards me, her hand taking mine. I let her. Her skin was warm and smooth, her squeeze comforting.

“You have nothing to worry about. You’re safe here, and we’re staying until he’s no longer a concern,” Liam said, his eyes directed at me.

No longer a concern? I read their faces, heard the tone in Liam’s voice. I knew the plan involved much more than just Damien going back to jail.