Candace

“Do you have anything I could wear?” I asked.

Luke appeared startled by my question, or possibly just by my voice. His eyes widened, so blue they drowned me with concern, something I wasn’t accustomed to.

“Yes, of course,” he stammered, quickly moving into the bedroom.

I sat on the couch, listening to drawers slam and doors open until he returned with a pile of options, none of which were glamorous, but at least they were clean.

“Thank you. Do you care if I take a shower?” I asked.

He nodded, seemingly stunned by my sudden vocal abilities. It wasn’t that I couldn’t talk; I just didn’t want to, at least not about anything, and I knew he’d ask. He would eventually want answers about the night he found me. So would others, like the cops.

I rummaged through the pile of clothes, selecting a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, socks, and pair of boxers. This wasn’t my best look, but unfortunately, it wasn’t my worst either.

Luke stood above me, somewhat anxious. His eagerness to help was showing, and it was making me uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to having anyone help me with anything. I could handle things on my own, especially something as simple as taking a shower.

“I won’t be long,” I said, quickly getting up from the couch, ignoring the pain shooting through my body.

Luke had been so kind and so patient. I hated that I’d pulled him into my drama, but I was starting to believe that I really was safe with him.

I locked myself in the bathroom, double checking that the lock was secure before undressing. Bruises covered a large portion of my body, and flakes of dried blood that I’d missed when cleaning off clung to my skin. I started to shake at the realization that it wasn’t my blood. Remembering what I’d done made my stomach growl with a low, deep pain that nearly brought me to my knees.

I turned the water to a scalding temperature that most couldn’t bear. I wanted to cleanse myself of the filth that covered my sore skin.

Stepping into the shower, I clenched my teeth and shut my eyes while I adjusted to the high heat. Steam flooded up around me, hiding me in a thick cloudlike pillow that gave me a sense of security. I scrubbed, hard, trying with everything I had to make myself clean, but I couldn’t. I was dirty.

Luke’s clothes swallowed me, but I couldn’t bear to put on the old clothes I’d worn for days. My hand swiped across the glass of the long mirror, giving me a quick peek at my new look. Runway ready, it wasn’t, but it would have to do. I’d have an orange jumpsuit to trade it for soon enough.

I found Luke sitting at the kitchen table, his hands intertwined and fidgeting. His eyes lifted to mine, surprised by my presence I suppose, and then a warm smile spread across his face.

“You feel better?” he asked softly.

No. I would never feel better.

“Yes,” I lied.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, quickly scooting his chair back to stand.

I shook my head, and then reached for the chair across from him, pulling it out from the table so I could sit with him.

All the time we had been together, he just fed me and watch me. He was always watching; even when he thought he was being sneaky, I knew.

Luke slid back into his seat, his hand reaching for his phone. I watched as he slid it to the side. That phone had become his lifeline. He was always on it, texting mostly, but talking at times when he thought I couldn’t hear. I heard. I could hear everything. He never did mention me though, at least not to anyone other than the doctor, “Doc” as he called him.

The pain pills knocked me out, but not enough that I wasn’t alert, ready to bolt at any mention of the cops. I heard Luke talking to Doc the first night I was here, telling him that he didn’t want to call the cops. That made me feel safe, safer than any of his other promises.

I knew he’d been scheduled to work earlier that day, but he stayed with me instead. I wondered why he was so determined to care for me, so afraid to leave me.

“I made coffee,” Luke stated, nodding in the direction of the coffee pot on the counter.

It was a cute place, but it didn’t really look lived in, at least not for long. There were a couple pictures on the walls, cabin décor types of photos, but no family photos or anything personal around. I didn’t notice any boxes, things that needed to be unpacked. It was simplistic but cute, like what you’d expect if you rented a cabin at a ranch resort.

“Coffee sounds great.” I forced a smile.

Luke turned to get up, exposing a large burn scar on his neck that ran towards his shoulder under his shirt. I immediately wanted to ask him what happened but bit my tongue. Like me, he could have things he’d prefer not to talk about.

He was so solid, so strong. My eyes scanned his form as he poured the coffee. Scruff poked from his jawline, making me wonder if he kept it scruffy, or just hadn’t shaved since I arrived. I liked the scruff.

His eyes were blue, a light, comforting blue, and his nose had a bump on the bridge that looked like an old break. With his thick neck, wide arms, and rippled abs, I couldn’t imagine who would punch him in the nose. He wasn’t very tall, but he was stout and strong, his muscles rolling under his thin t-shirt as he moved.

As kids, Luke was lanky, almost too skinny, but he had enough charm to make up for his lack of muscles then. I blushed when he turned around, catching me eyeing him. He handed me the coffee cup and took his seat back across from me. His questions were obvious in his eyes as they stared at me with strong curiosity.

I was indebted to him, more than he could ever know. I appreciated his patience, his kindness, and his ability to control the questions I knew consumed him.

“You can ask me three questions. I’ll do my best to answer them honestly,” I blurted before I could talk myself out of it.

Luke looked surprised by my sudden openness.

“Three?” he questioned.

I nodded.

I watched as he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and gnawed on it with his teeth. My hands began to shake as I lifted the coffee mug to my mouth, and suddenly I was filled with regret. Why did I agree to this? I was so afraid of what he would ask, and what I’d tell him. I couldn’t lie to him. He didn’t deserve to be lied to.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, his first question seemingly unobtrusive.

“No, but I’d like to be,” I responded with an honesty that surprised even me.

Luke’s eyes widened as they stared across the table. His hands folded together, nervously fidgeting as his lips formed a soft smile.

“If I leave you here alone, to go to work, will you run?” he asked his second question.

I wanted to, at least at one time. Now, I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave the safety and comfort of Luke’s home, of his protection. I knew what waited for me once I left here. Prison. I didn’t want to go to jail, but I knew I deserved to go. If it were anyone but Luke, the boy I loved, the answer would have been simple. I hated to drag him into my drama, for him to know what had happened to me, for him to feel pity, disappointment, or anything other than that memory of love we once shared.

Selfishly, I decided.

“No,” I said softly without making eye contact.

My heart raced knowing there was one more question. I wasn’t sure what to expect. What did you do? Who are you running from? Whose blood was on your clothes? Those were all expected, but instead, he’d only asked how I was, if I’d run, and now what? Would this be the hard question?

My heart pounded against my chest hard as I looked up into his eyes. I was scared, but a small part of me relieved to get it over with…just ask.

“Do you need anything?” Luke’s third question stunned me.

I looked down at the large sweatpants and t-shirt I was wearing, and then back up at Luke.

“I never made it to the store for supplies the other night. That’s where I was heading when I…when I saw you. And food, we need food. I’m sure there’s something you’d prefer to eat than what I’ve given you. Maybe some personal things you need,” he rambled nervously.

I was fine wearing his clothes, although something that fit me better would be nice. The food, I didn’t care. What he made was fine. I hadn’t had much of an appetite lately anyhow. The mention of personal items was where he got me. Deodorant that didn’t smell like a pine tree, a toothbrush, some lotion for my dry skin, and a hairbrush all sounded amazing.

“Yes,” I agreed.

Luke smiled and then reached for a small notepad on the table that had a pen pushed through the coil springs that bound the paper.

“Write down anything you want, unless, of course, you’d like to go with me?” he offered, sliding the notepad in my direction.

It was getting late, and the sky was growing dark, but I still didn’t want to risk being seen. I’d stay here, in the safety of Luke’s home, a place where no one knew where I was or had any way of finding me.

I shook my head as I took the notepad, and pulled the pen from the tight coils. Luke nodded, as if he understood, and got up from the table.

“I’ll bring us back dinner. You’re probably sick of my cooking. What would you like?” he asked.

“I’d kill for a burger and a Pepsi,” I gasped, watching Luke’s eyes widen as I spoke.

Shit. Kill…with all that blood that wasn’t mine, and questions unanswered, unasked, that was a stupid comment I wished I could swallow back down my throat.

“Okay. A burger and a Pepsi it is,” Luke replied, a slightly nervous chuckle to his tone.

I blushed, still feeling stupid for the comment. What did he think of me?

I pushed my head down, quickly writing the items that I needed from town on the paper he’d provided.

“You’re safe here,” he said softly.

I nodded. I was safe for now. That would change. I would never truly be safe. It was nice to pretend for a moment, so I smiled.