Chapter Thirty-Two

Taylor

 

Madison sipped her iced latte while I spilled my guts. I’d spent my entire weekend going over what I’d done, trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, without much success. I knew my friend could justify my actions, tell me they were right. “Taylor, I think you dodged a giant bullet,” she assured me. Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?

“I wasn’t trying to dodge a bullet. I just didn’t want him to suffer any longer. He made the right decision to stay here and be a father to Bailey. I was just causing grief,” I explained.

“Maybe so, but the way Kellie reacted… she was going to be a nightmare,” Madison sighed. “She would be controlling your entire relationship, causing trouble every chance she got,” she added.

“Maybe,” I reluctantly agreed. I didn’t know what Kellie’s motives were. Maybe they were just to protect her daughter.

“I’m going to be late,” I rushed, pushing out the small café chair and standing to give my friend a hug. I wasn’t sure she’d made me feel any better about my decision, but I know she meant well. And who knows, maybe Kellie would’ve tried to split me and Elijah up if I tried to stay and make it work. She obviously didn’t want us together. Either way, I knew that things would be easier for Elijah this way. He could see his daughter now anytime he wanted, and he didn’t have to worry about hiding our relationship, as if that were even possible on this small island.

“Call me later, maybe we can go get a drink,” Madison offered as I rushed through her front door and to my car. I waved behind me, knowing that her idea of going to get a drink usually ended up with me babysitting her boyfriend’s brother. No thanks.

I was rushing through the building to my office when I arrived to work. I was never late, but today, I was off my game. “Taylor,” Mitchell stopped me just outside my door. “I’d like to talk to you today before you leave, if you don’t mind,” he said.

I knew he was going to ask about my decision, if I’d decided to become a partner or not. I had, and was excited about it, but now, I wasn’t sure. I was back to the same question spinning in my head: Could I stay on this island if I wasn’t with Elijah, seeing him with Bailey, possibly with Kellie?

“Okay. Milton’s out of town this week, so how about three o’clock?” I suggested.

Mitchell nodded with a wide smile. I hated to disappoint him, to disappoint myself. “I look forward to it,” he added as he turned towards his own office.

As soon as I sat down at my desk, my phone lit up. The secretary was ready to send in my first patient, a new one. I pulled out her file and agreed to see her, even though I hadn’t had the chance to look over her case, and tried to scan through the main points before she entered.

A tall blonde woman, in her late forties, entered my office. She wore a long flowing skirt, a cute pink top, and had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She smiled, shook my hand, and introduced herself as Leah. She was an attractive woman, but sadness filled her bright blue eyes and aged her face. “I apologize, but I haven’t read your file completely,” I admitted, feeling that starting out with honesty was my best bet.

“There’s not much to catch up on,” she laughed nervously. “My husband was in the military and passed about three years ago. I feel like I’m ready to move on, but I’m not sure this is the place to do it,” she explained.

“Why not here?” I asked.

Her answer surprised me. I assumed she would say the memory of her late husband was all around her, making it tough to build a new relationship, but that wasn’t her problem at all. She appeared to have handled his death well, mourning properly, giving it ample time to sink in and not rushing the process at all. “I don’t want to start a relationship with another military man, and this island is so small; there are not a lot of options for a woman,” she chuckled.

My heart raced as the woman’s anxiety fell directly in my lap. She was right. This island was small, very small, and options for dating were slim, nearly non-existent if you excluded the men stationed on nearby islands. “Have you considered venturing to nearby islands?” I asked.

“Who has time for that? I have a daughter and a business. There is no time to hop ferries, no money to hop planes. And, even if I did, I’d most likely run into tourists, businessmen looking for a quick fling before returning to the States, and probably a wife and family,” she rolled her eyes and slouched down in her seat.

“I can understand that.” I sucked my lips into my mouth as I tried to come up with a solution to her dilemma. I didn’t want to recommend Internet dating, having done that myself in New York. It was a disaster, one lunatic after another. “There’s no one of interest on the island?” I questioned, knowing it was small, but maybe, hopefully, not that small.

The woman shook her head. “I came here with my husband and fell in love with the island, mainly because of the seclusion it offered, now it’s the one thing I can’t stand,” she laughed.

“There are plenty of men on this island, eligible bachelors that I’m certain you’re overlooking,” I encouraged.

I thought of the fishermen that passed through on the ships, the large amount of people living outside of town, and all the handsome men I noticed on the beach. “Do you think you may be blocking out these eligible men because you aren’t really allowing yourself to move on, even though you say you are?” I questioned.

“Maybe. It just seems like they are way too young, too old, too married, or too military,” she sighed.

Or too surrounded by drama, I thought of Elijah.

I enjoyed talking with the woman, even though I didn’t feel as though I’d helped her much by the time she left, and a strange cloud hovered above me at the thought she may be right. I’d considered staying here on the island, even though I’d given up on a relationship with Elijah. But, by me staying here, was I giving up on a relationship altogether?

The end of my day rolled around quickly, and I found myself missing Milton. He was the one patient that always seemed to give my day, my life, purpose. Ugh!

I packed up my work, slipping Leah’s file in my briefcase to go over more thoroughly. There had to be some other reason for her not finding love than just the island being too small.

Mitchell waved me into his office as I lingered outside his doorway. I was dreading the talk since I had no clue what I was going to decide. “Come in,” he smiled, standing behind his desk.

I noticed he’d added a plant in the corner, and even a colorful picture on the wall. “You’re sprucing up the place,” I smiled.

“I’m following your lead. It does seem to calm people,” he chuckled as he motioned for me to sit in the chair across from him.

“So, how are things in your world?” he questioned as I took my seat.

Oh, where to begin…

“Things are fine,” I said weakly.

His eyes narrowed as he gave me a professional stare. I knew the stare well. It was one I’d given many a patient. It made me nervous, causing me to squirm and shift in my seat. “Is there something you’d like to talk about?” he probed.

I shrugged nervously, like a first-time patient. I’d always been the one on the other side of the desk; I wasn’t sure I cared for being on this side. “It’s just a personal matter,” I stammered.

“Okay. Well, I think it’s wise to explore what’s going on inside of your head and not leave it to fester into something toxic,” he expressed.

I felt my chest tighten, and then an exhale escaped, loud and dramatic. He was right; I knew that. I just wasn’t sure that he was the right person for me to talk to about this. He was my boss, possibly my business partner.

“I really want you to stay on here and take this partnership, but not if it means causing you any stress,” he added with a warm smile.

I explained to him my dilemma, spilling out details that I hadn’t even told Madison. Mitchell listened patiently, waiting until I took a long pause before interjecting. “One thing I’ve discovered about love is that it always finds a way to overcome obstacles, even those that appear to be impossible,” he offered.

I wished that were true. My love for Elijah was strong, and I knew it would be miserable sharing the small island with him without him in my life. After the letter I wrote, I doubted very much the possibility of ever experiencing the closeness we shared.

“Take all the time you need to make your decision. I don’t want you to turn it down based on love. You still have no idea what the outcome will be for your heart,” Mitchell concluded our talk.

It felt good to get everything off my chest, to admit to someone how I truly felt. I still wasn’t planning on holding my breath for everything to work out though. I was naïve, but not that naïve.