“You’re such an asshole,” she said.

The look of disdain on her face wasn’t quite what I had been hoping for. But what I had been hoping for? We’d been walking for an hour now and I was beginning to wonder if my intuition had finally led me astray. Since she was slower, Becky walked up in front of me and I followed behind. In silence. She picked through the undergrowth at a painful pace, wobbling and grasping for thorny bushes and then swearing when they pricked her hand. There was no way in hell she had ever done this trail before, or any hiking, period. Every time she twisted her ankle or got whipped in the face by a branch, she swore. At me.

“Asshole,” she muttered under her breath as I reached forward to pull a branch aside before she walked right into it. She waltzed past and I let it spring back. I frowned at her.

“Hey, do you want to try calling me a different name for a change? I’m getting a little sick of asshole.”

“Tough. You’re an asshole,” she said without making eye contact. I decided I wouldn’t tell her she had a tiny spider in her hair.

“Well, you’re a stuck-up bitch.”

She stopped, turned and glared at me, but carried on walking.

“Stuck up? I suppose any mature adult human being looks stuck up to someone like you,” she said and flounced off again. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.

“Oh, so is that what you are? A mature adult? Sucking up to your work colleagues, who you hate, and pretending that you like to hike, when you actually hate that as well? Sounds really mature.”

Her feet went crunching through the undergrowth, and mine followed.

“Well, I’m not going to have an argument with someone who still thinks whoring around at his age is perfectly acceptable,” she snapped back, but stopped and looked down at a wide puddle filled with logs blocking the path. The sides of the path were steep and the water must have been around a foot deep. I scanned her face.

“You’ve never hiked anywhere in your life before, have you?” I asked. The way she avoided my gaze told me everything I needed to know. I brushed past her and she spun around and looked at the place where the bare skin of our arms had touched. I pretended I hadn’t noticed, and stepped in front of her to see if the logs could be arranged to make a little bridge over the water. I knelt and began arranging the damp, moss-covered logs so she could step onto them and over the puddle. She’d always had such perfectly soft skin.

“I told you, I’ve hiked this trail before,” she said and stared down at me. I could have brushed against her again. I was mere inches from her and could have done it if… if nothing, it was stupid. I’d come out here because I had a sneaky suspicion that she would be in trouble and need me. And I was right. That was all.

“Becky, don’t you remember that I always could tell when you were lying? You used to belong to a false eyelash of the month club, come on, do you honestly want me to believe you know anything about hiking?” I teased.

I stood and admired the sturdy pile I’d built, then tested it with my foot. I then gestured for her to cross, unable to suppress a little smile. She locked eyes with me, looked down at the logs and then proceeded to awkwardly hug the steep sides of the path, scuttling to avoid the logs and landing clumsily on the other side. Even from the other side I could tell she was blushing, and even better, she was trying to hide it.

“Stop showing off and let’s just get to the cabin already,” she mumbled.

I hopped lightly over the logs and followed as she stomped off. I wondered whether she was swaying her ass like that on purpose. She had to be. There was no way that that little waggle wasn’t for my benefit. And what else was I going to look at out here in the middle of nowhere, but her epic ass bouncing pleasingly from side to side with every step she took?

“When we get to the bachelorette party, I’m totally going to pretend I’m a stripper that somebody ordered,” I said, after we’d walked in silence for a few moments. She said nothing.

“I bet they’d love it. I bet they’re all like you, just pretending to be dainty snobby ladies when deep down they’d love to have things mixed up a little. Can you imagine it? I’d just tell everyone that ‘you know who’ invited me as a surprise and we’ll see how far we can run with it…”

Back in the day, Becky and I were always only ever a few dares away from that kind of adventure. We’d break into abandoned warehouses or gatecrash parties. It was always an adventure when we got together. But she said nothing now.

“Okay, what about this, whatever tips I earn, you can get half, deal? Then we’ll blow the place and get those hangover pancakes at that café you like.” I had no idea what I was saying or why. I just didn’t want the silence between us anymore. We walked on.

“Please tell me you at least bought some penis-shaped gummy sweets or something, Bex. Anything? I feel sorry for the poor woman is all…”

Before I could finish my sentence she spun around, presumably to nail me with one of her death glares again, but as she did, she twisted her ankle on some soft ground, teetered a little and then tumbled towards me. I caught her easily and staggered backward to break her fall, but she was immediately leaping free from my grasp again, clumsily getting to her feet with a face that was growing redder by the second.

“You’re such a fucking asshole!” she cried. This time, we had touched more than just a little patch of skin. Her full, luscious body had fallen deliciously into my arms for just a few sweet seconds, letting me catch the briefest waft of her scent. “What are you even doing out here anyway? It’s so creepy. How did you find me? You shouldn’t have come,” she blurted all at once.

“What? Becky, you were nearly attacked by wolves. I came here to help you…”

“I don’t need your help,” she pouted. I took one slow, deliberate look at her tousled hair, crumpled clothes and shredded backpack.

“Oh yeah? Because you’re a fancy professional hiker? Why don’t you tell me which direction we’re going then,” I said, and folded my arms.

“You always were such a stubborn asshole.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, you keep telling me. Hey, Becky, can you just calm down a second?” I hated the silence. But I think I hated hearing her angry voice even more.

“I am calm. But you’re an asshole and I’m mad at you and you’re making light of everything. I almost died last night, Hugo.”

Even after all these years, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Everything had moved on, it seemed, everything was different now, but looking into her eyes still felt exactly the same way it always had. It made me feel, just for that split second, like nothing else in the whole world mattered. I unfolded my arms.

“Die? You? Not a chance. You’re much stronger than that. Maybe you forgot, but I know you,” I said. I had heard what she said when she thought she was alone a few hours ago. I knew the little waggle was for me. I knew in many ways she hated my guts but I couldn’t help speaking sweetly to her now. What did the past matter when the day was so bright and pretty, and her eyes looked like that?

To my delight she didn’t snap back this time. In fact, she flickered her glance up from the floor and caught my eye and held it there. Fuck, she was a gorgeous creature. Out here, with that flaming red hair of hers and that figure that could drive a man insane, it was like she could be a forest nymph, or some kind of fairy queen, bewitching mortal men. She sighed.

“No, you knew me. You don’t know me anymore. I’m different now.” The anger was gone but a sadness replaced it. I smiled, happy that at least she wasn’t calling me an asshole anymore.

“Different? Nah, you seem just the same as you always did!” I said cheerfully. “And out here, without all your stuff, without your fancy job and your fancy skirt suit… you’re just same old Becky to me,” I said, grinning. I missed how easy it used to be to just laugh and joke with her. Becky might have done herself up most days with hair and makeup to put a drag queen to shame, but she was never haughty, never too good for some banter and a good belly laugh.

But she said nothing. When I saw her lower lip quiver and a sparkle on her lower lashes, I wanted more than anything to just reach out and hold her again, to touch that supernaturally smooth white arm, to tell her I was sorry, that I was an asshole, I knew it, but maybe for just a second she could let me be her asshole…

“Hugo…” she whispered. She looked down at her foot and dug a damp mark into the soil. “Hugo, I had our whole life planned out, you know that? I was going to marry you. We were going to have a beautiful wedding and I was going to make us a kickass home and we were going to have two kids, a boy and a girl. That was the path I thought I was on. And you ruined all of that.”

It was the most she had said to me all day. I was stunned. Becky had been the ‘cool girlfriend’. She wasn’t like other uptight girlfriends and she made a point of it: she was just one of the guys, gave me my space, never sulked or nagged or whined if her Valentines gift wasn’t right. She was cool …right up until the point where she wasn’t. It had started with hints, then more hints, then one day I woke up and found myself engaged and I couldn’t figure out how it had happened. Becky was the one who did shots with me all night and goofed around in the kitchen making us waffles all the next morning. Becky frequently cleaned up at our boys’ poker nights. Becky was a diva, and my best friend. I would have done anything for her. Well, I felt that way until she started talking about marriage.

“Well, huh, you know what they say, you want to make god laugh, make a plan, right?” I said and shrugged. A dealbreaker is what my sister Lisa had called it at the time. She wanted marriage, I didn’t. The fact that I ran away to become a SEAL was just a convenient excuse. Becky looked mad.

“God?” she said, and began digging her toe into the hole more aggressively. “You have some nerve. You don’t take any responsibility for anything, do you?”

I groaned and rubbed my face.

“Responsibility?”

“Yes, responsibility. That stupid little thing grown-ups do, remember? Take responsibility for the choices they make?”

I felt my face heat up. I kicked my own toe into the ground and sent a spray of rocks onto her boot.

“Fuck Becky, why don’t you take responsibility for yourself then? You’re so happy to paint me as the bad guy. But why was I the one who was supposed to give you all that shit? Weddings and babies and shit? Did you ever ask me if I cared about all that?”

We were so close I could hear how angry she was from the sound of her breathing. We locked eyes. Maybe it was me who did it. Maybe it was her. But somehow the anger of the moment pushed us over the edge and her lips were hard against mine, and she pressed against me and all at once it was like a firework of memories to kiss her body. Her lips were so silky smooth and warm I couldn’t pull away. It was as though I could taste her anger melting away, like I could feel the tension seeping out of her as she pressed her curvy against mine.

She pulled away. Her cheeks bloomed pink and she stammered and fussed with her backpack.

“Um… so, uh, how far away do we still have to go?” she said, then nervously cleared her throat. I could still taste her.

“Um…”

She turned and began to walk again, flustered.

“It’s not too far. But you got yourself pretty lost out here. You basically walked the whole day in the wrong direction,” I stammered and trotted after her.

“So, like an hour? Three?” she said, and this time no effort in the known universe could stop me from staring at that phenomenal ass of hers.

“Well… no, a bit longer than that.”

She turned to look at me. Her lips still glistened faintly.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah I’m serious. Becky this isn’t some dinky walk in the park, the Fox trail takes most people days to complete. And we’re basically having to do the whole thing from scratch.” Her eyebrows twisted up as she listened. “I mean… we may even have to sleep overnight and try make it there in the morning,” I said quietly.

We both stared at each other and let the thought sink in.

“Overnight?”

“Yeah.”

It was as though she briefly considered launching into a big spiel about how she couldn’t, about how I was an asshole, about how I had ruined everything for her. But she didn’t. Instead, we just stared at each other, both acknowledging for the first time that we were actually out here alone. Together.

“But it was so cold last night,” she said slowly, not pulling her gaze from mine. It had been more than five years but I could remember her body like it was yesterday. Every inch of it. The places of her that were smooth and soft and full. The hidden places that were warm and wet. The places of her that puckered up when touched. The places that shuddered and tightened, the places that flushed pink. She was wearing a torn, mud-stained shirt but underneath was a whole world, a world I used to be a resident of. Underneath that thin fabric was a Becky I had known a long time ago, in so much detail I could have recognized her from the mole behind her knee, or the exact scent of her favorite coconut shampoo…

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll keep us warm,” I said, and gestured to my backpack. I wouldn’t have come out here without the necessary gear to stay warm and dry. But at that moment we both preferred to think of the other possible meaning. God, the thought of touching her naked flesh right now was unbelievably distracting.

“And food?”

“I’ve got it all taken care of, don’t worry,” I said, and patted my backpack. The tension was palpable. One thing being a SEAL taught me was that you should always plan for the worst and then some. Never let a moment take you by surprise.

She took a cautious step towards me, like she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do until she was right up close. She took another step.

“You’re an asshole, you know that, Hugo?” she said under her breath.

I smiled.

“But for now, I’m a useful asshole at least, right? I can get us out of her, keep us warm and safe, and just wait till you see what snacks I have.” She was close enough to kiss me again, but lingered, playing with the almost painful sense of anticipation stirring up between us now.

“Oh yeah? You always were a show off. Tell me, what else are you good for?”

I swallowed hard.

“I can… show you,” I whispered and when she leant in, grazing her lips so slightly against mine it was barely a kiss at all, I felt myself grow so hard I swear I could have ripped through my pants. Her fingertips went slowly to touch the buckle of my belt, then traced a delicate line up, up towards my navel and then all up my chest till my chin.

“I bet you’ve learnt all kinds of fancy SEAL skills since I last saw you, huh?” she whispered.

Fuck. She always had a way of doing that. Her fuck-me voice. Didn’t I know it better than anyone else? The way she almost purred like that, and pouted and smiled so sweetly, so I felt like I could lose control at any moment.

“I did,” I said and teased her lower lip with my tongue. “You should be happy I found you out here. It’s dangerous. Something could have happened to you,” I whispered into her mouth. Slowly, like we were both afraid to make the first real move, she slinked up closer to me and pressed her full breasts against me, gingerly reaching her hands up to grasp my shoulders. When she stood up on her toes for me I couldn’t help but tumble into a deep, heavy kiss. She was everything I remembered from all those years ago; every juicy memory of her came flooding back as my hands flew over her soft body, still the same as it always was, but somehow wildly new to me. We melted into one another, all hot breath and half-uttered words and groping hands. She was giggling.

“You got so strong!” she said and I felt like my cock was about to explode. I couldn’t help but paw at that beautiful body, couldn’t stop myself from tracing over her waist and hips, and down, much further down to snake my hand inside the band of her trousers. She eagerly lifted her hips to mine, moaning mouth against mine, breath jagged. I slipped a finger into the hot cleft between her legs and nearly lost my mine to find her already dripping wet. The slippery folds of her body felt like they’d short-circuit my brain.

My body clicked up a gear like a bloodhound who’s found the trail he’s been after his whole life. I didn’t care about any of it – about her being angry or me being angry or what we’d eat out here or how many more hours till we got to the cabin. All I could think about in that moment was sinking every inch of my cock into her delicious little pussy over and over again.

“Fuck, Becky, I missed you,” I breathed hot into her neck, letting my fingers get to the juicy work they already knew how to do. She writhed against me and soon it felt like something bigger was taking over us, guiding both of our bodies back into an old habit that we had long forgotten.

“I’ve wanted to fuck you for hours,” I moaned and trailed wet lips all along her collarbone, almost as though I had to restrain myself from eating her alive. I felt the whimper as it left her throat and she let her head fall back. Why not have this beautiful being all to myself right now, out amongst the trees, with nothing and nobody to stop us? Why not shut up and show her exactly how much my body had missed hers, how much I had craved her touch all this time.

“Hugo, wait.”

I looked up from my kisses to see a concerned look on her pretty face.

“Hugo, this isn’t right. I… I can’t do this,” she stammered.

It was as though I’d been hit with a sledge hammer. She stared at me and wriggled from my grasp, then blushed again and straightened herself up.

“I’ve also been thinking about it, you know. Of course I have. Don’t you think I’ve missed you too? God, Hugo you have no idea. But I can’t…”

“Hey, just calm down a second…”

“I can’t. I can’t put myself through that again. When you left, I swore to myself that that was the last time I would endure such a thing. I don’t have another heartbreak in me like that one, Hugo, I’m sorry.”

I stared at her blankly. My hand felt cold on her hip.