Bear
I’ve been waiting three days for this fight. So that means that for three days, I haven’t slept, haven’t eaten, haven’t thought of anything else. My mind has been one hundred percent focused on the fight—and on Sunny. I could hear her screaming at me to call it off with every practice swipe I took and tasted her lips on mine whenever I wiped off a bit of sweat that dripped from my forehead. She followed me around the ring the boys set up in the warehouse and stayed with me as I slept next to the blade I planned on using during the battle against Cobra.
I’ve killed myself over these last three days, training as hard as I possibly can. I made myself the old Bear, the Bear that earned his name. It was a short transformation, but my boys could feel it. They look at me differently now. And they sure as shit don’t treat me like a second-class citizen. I have my power back, and no one on God’s green Earth is going to take it back from me.
Frankly, I am surprised how much my club is behind me on this. Jack had spread the news about Sunny’s pregnancy around like the plague. It was all any of the guys were talking about for days. I wasn’t sure how they’d take it, but they seemed to want to stand by me and follow Vance’s supportive lead on this. Some of the boys offered to get in the ring with me and be my sparring partner. Others brought me food to tie me over and protein bars to keep me strong. Some of the older guys brought beer and cigarettes—none which I took. I wasn’t about to let my vices get in the way of my mind or my body being in top shape.
They were the reason why these three days went by quickly. The ticking of the clock seemed much lighter in my ears with them watching me, giving me pointers, shaking my hand every time they passed me on my runs around the block. The Wilderkind are my family, my brothers for life. And I know that when I get out there, out on that cheap ass platform they made into a fighting ring, down by the overpass where the Wilderkind and Filthy Bastards’ territory meets, they will have my back every second of the way. And if I lose, they will be the ones burying me in the yard with all my other brothers who’ve fallen in the name of the club.
“You feeling good, brother?” Jack asks me, throwing me a towel from across the room. I must look like a fucking sweaty mess after that three-mile run, but I remember my coach from my boxing days telling me that getting miles in before a big match was the only way you could get the real nerves out. He was a lying sack of shit. Nothing but me sweating off the few bites of food I could stomach has happened to me. If anything, I feel worse—like my insides are about to explode from the pressure I’ve put on myself.
“Yeah,” I lie. “How much more time I got until I have to ride down there?”
“Probably about twenty minutes, maybe more.”
“Anyone at the club spot her yet? Sunny, I mean. I’m not going down there unless she’s there. I don’t trust that fucking snake to keep his word about this.”
Since meeting up with Sunny at her doctor’s, I’ve been having my boys keep an eye out for her, making sure Cobra doesn’t pull anything on her. I wouldn’t put it past him to try to off her minutes before the fight just to spite me. He was a sick fuck like that—never had any boundaries. And if that kid weren’t his, if he knew that Sunny was mine all along, he wouldn’t have anything to hold him back from taking matters into his own hands.
“No. No sightings of her. I checked in with Paulo and Rider. They’re checking the girls in now. There are some that are sitting up in that overpass. It’s where most of the Filthy Bastards girls go to watch the matches. She’s probably up there.”
“Yeah. She best be. The last time we saw a hair of her was when Ace got a glimpse of her through a bedroom window at Cobra’s place. And even then, who the hell knows if it was her.”
That alone scared the shit out of me. My girl and my baby were being held hostage by some sadistic motherfucker who couldn’t give a rat’s ass whether they lived or died. I could have white knighted it and gone and rescued her before this match even began, but I know the rules in these parts. Breaking into club territory, killing an innocent (even though there was nothing truly innocent about Cobra), and stealing club property would have resulted in World War III. As much as it kills me not to have done it, I don’t want more blood on my hands. I instead channeled all that energy into my workouts and spars until my hands ached and my muscles groaned and pulsed.
“Keep checking. I’m not leaving until she’s there, and I can talk to her.”
“Talk to her?” Jake asks. “You really think that Killer and Cobra are going to let you do that?”
“I don’t give a shit what they will let me do. This fight isn’t going to happen unless I can talk to her and make sure they didn’t do something to her over the last few days. If they have a problem with it, tell them it’s like flashing the cash prize. I’m not walking in that ring until I know it’s real and there.”
“They’ll do it.” Vance suddenly appears. He looks a little worse for wear with his baggy cargo pants and his messed up gray hair flying in every direction. Even his beard looks disheveled. He reaches out his hand to me, enveloping me in one of our club handshakes. “You feeling okay?” he asks when he pulls back.
“Yeah,” I try to say confidently. “I’m feeling fine. It’s the Filthy Bastards that have to worry about what’s about to go down.”
I watch as he chews the corner of his lip, shaking his head in cool agreement, before saying, “The girl’s gonna be there. And then we’ve got a plan to get the two of you out in case shit starts. We’re working with a few clubs on this, people Killer and Cobra have made mad over the last few weeks. If they go back on their deal, they’ll get what’s coming to them.”
“And Sunny? What about her? Can you convince the guys to let me see her before the fight?”
His already rough voice strains slightly. “If that’s what you need. You’ll get it.” He walks out the door and moments later, out front of the headquarters, I hear his bike race off, probably towards the meeting spot, and the room returns to this still, mind numbing silence from before. Only Jake’s rhythmic paces can be heard.
I go back to sparring in the ring. I’m going through routine after routine. Everything I’ve ever learned courses through me. Patterns and figures, combinations and plays… each one I nail in rhythm with my feet. My knife jabs and darts through the air as I picture that beady-eyed fucker standing before me with that cocky grin on his shit face. And in the imaginary crowd, just behind his boxy shoulder, is Sunny. She’s glowing and starry-eyed. Her smile lights up the damn sky with that hair that cascades down her shoulders. She smiles as I nail imaginary Cobra in the imaginary arm and then slice through his imaginary bare chest. He tumbles over, and I dart towards the side, missing his imaginary knockout fall. In my ears, I hear her calling my name, crying out for me… “Bear… Bear… Bear…”
“BEAR?” Jake calls to me from outside the ring. “It’s Vance. She’s there. He wants you to get over there. You ready?”
“She okay?” I ask, my breath still catching up in my throat.
He pauses as he waits for Vance to respond. “He says she’s there. That’s all he knows. They’ll let you talk to her if you get there on time.”
Fucking hell. I jump off the makeshift ring and out towards the parking lot. Jake takes over locking up the place and grabbing my gear. But all I really need is my knife and the Wilderkind T-shirt on my back. The drive is only fifteen minutes, but I’m stopped at every damn stop light and seem to have every copper tailing my ass from HQ to the turn off. They barely phase me today as I set my sights on the bridge and the line of bikes parked along the hedges. No doubt the cops were paid off already and told there was going to be a rumble. They won’t bat an eye if there’s money to be had from it.
The closer I get, the louder the sound of the crowd gets. The excitement is bubbling over like a pot on the stove. I know that just about every eye is on me as I pull into the nearest spot to the ring. They gawk at me as I get off the saddle and stride towards Vance. He waits for me with his arms clasped tightly around his chest. He gives my fighting clothes the once over, and I can’t tell if he’s amused or relieved I’ve come to play like the professional I am.
“You’re late.”
“I’m not,” I correct him. “I’m here before the match is supposed to start.”
“By about three minutes.”
“That’s all I need. Where is she?”
“That’s the problem, Bear.”
He gestures behind my shoulder, and I spin on my toes to see Cobra and Killer inches from my face. Cobra is in his full riding gear—dark, tight jeans, leather jacket, bandana in Filthy Bastard’s colors. He laughs as he smacks Killer on the back. “Ha! You think we’re gonna let you see her? She’s with her own.”
“I want to see and talk to her,” I demand. “If you fucking assholes can’t let me make sure she’s okay and you didn’t pull some sick shit on her the last few days, then this deal is off. I’m out of here, and I’m taking her with me.”
Cobra steps up to me, pressing his burly chest into mine. “I’d like to see you fucking try.”
“Watch me.” I push through him, causing him to stumble backward into Killer. I charge up towards the hill where I remember Jake mentioning they were. That’s where I first saw her almost a year ago now—her blonde hair shining like a beacon among all the other girls in their black and white dresses. But scanning the group, I don’t see her. There’s no one like her there.
I turn back to the men, my face red with fury. “What the fuck did you do to her?” I shout.
“We did nothing to her,” Killer calmly explains. “She’s watching from one of the cars, so we know you’re not going to try anything funny.”
“Show me,” I insist. “Show me where she is. Let me talk to her.”
“Sure—if you win,” Killer answers. “You can take her. That’s the deal.”
“He’s not taking broken goods, Killer.” Vance steps in. I’ve been waiting for him to grow some balls and defend his fighter. “We don’t get to check on her, then there’s no fight. I’ll call it off right now and let the men decide who to blame.”
Cobra stands there with his freakish grin while Killer mulls it over. He whispers something over to his right-hand-man and then replies, “Five minutes. That’s it. Our guys will be outside the car.”
“Ours will too,” Vance retorts before turning to our VP and the head enforcer. They call out to a few of our boys who look to be the soberest and willing. Cobra walks back to his crowd while Killer leads the way over to a line of parked cars nearest the ring. I spot the van with the three bikers guarding it. It’s all too obvious they’re on alert. They stiffen in their boots when they see Killer, Vance, and I approach.
“Open the doors. He’s got five minutes in there with her. Then get him out of there.”
“Make it quick,” Vance whispers in my ear. “Don’t pull anything stupid. Save it for the ring.”
I hold my breath as the back opens. The van’s cargo light is turned on, but I can barely make out Sunny from the outside. Her head hangs low, and her hands sit folded in her lap. She’s dressed in a heather green and black dress—Filthy Bastard’s colors, and I wonder if she did that on purpose or if she was forced into that. She looks impossibly bigger than when I saw her last. Her growing belly overwhelms her small frame.
“Bear?” she whispers as she turns towards the opening. She doesn’t stand but waits for me to join her inside. Once I’ve scooted myself onto the bucket seats, the doors close and we’re locked in.
“What are you doing here?” she asks in complete shock. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”
“You really don’t think I can fucking beat that pussy?”
“No, it’s not that… it’s just that…”
“We don’t need to talk about the fight,” I offer. “We can talk about other things.”
“Like what?”
“Like what we’re going to do when we get the hell out of here.”
She smiles slightly, her lip lifting at the corners. “Start over?”
“Damn, I hope so. My club wants that baby. We’ll take care of it.”
“And me?” she asks under her breath.
“And you what? You think I don’t want you to?”
“It’s just that... I…” She stumbles to get the words out before confessing, “I didn’t know if you would want me after everything we’ve been through—after I told you I didn’t want you twice.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Want me?” I reply.
Her eyes glitter in the small amount of light as her face beams and reddens at the same time. “You’re all I can think about. Since we… that night at the motel… I should’ve stayed with you.”
“I should’ve forced you to stay,” I answer. “You were mine right then and there. I should’ve realized that, Sunny. No other girl could make me feel like you did. No other girl could take over my mind like you have.”
“Oh, God. Bear!” She collapses into my arms. I hold her tightly to my chest as she cries. “I needed to hear you say that. These last few days…”
“What did he do to you?”
“Nothing. I mean, he hit me. Kitka too, but I’m okay. We’re okay. I just spent this time thinking about you—about what he was going to do to you. I can’t lose you again. I won’t.” My blood boils hearing her say this. I knew that fucker would sink that low. I knew it the moment I saw him with her. I bottle the rage and focus on my girl. She needs me more than my anger needs to punch through this van’s walls.
“You won’t. I’m not going down today, Sunny. You, our baby, our life outside this shit… it’s worth it. No matter what happens, you need to know that you’re worth this. And there’s only God himself that could stop me from winning you back.”
She wipes her tears with her forefingers, her mascara making trails on her cheeks. “Promise me,” she instructs me.
“Promise you what?”
“Promise that you’ll win that fucking fight and come back and get me.”
“I promise you that I’ll win. I swear to you that I’ll win. For you, for the baby, for us.”
She places her small, trembling hands on my cheeks as if memorizing me. Her voice whispers, “Bear,” before leaning in and kissing me. The rest of my five minutes pass and they end up having to pull me away from her.