I sat in Elly's dining room, my laptop open in front of me. She came in, dressed in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt and set glasses of water on the table for both of us.

"Thanks for coming by," she said, a smile on her lips. It didn't quite reach her eyes which were rimmed with black. Motherhood looked tough.

"Yeah, no problem."

"When Rio mentioned you were doing a website for us he also volun-told me to oversee it and give feedback."

We spent the next half an hour looking at the website and coming up with new ideas and tweaks. She was giving me the last suggestion when the baby cried upstairs. She talked through it and then stood up, putting her hand on my shoulder as she moved out of the room.

"I'll be right back."

"Sure." I smiled and then finished typing out the last of the notes.

My phone buzzed, and I picked it up. James's text gave me an insta-smile.

James: Best Buns I Ever Had.

Ainsley: Glad u liked them.

James: Can't stop thinking about u. We need to get a room. Tonight?

Ever since the almost-sex James had been very interested. The orgasms he gave were the best of my life. I still didn't want to ruin it by giving him the whole prize. But he'd been so busy cozying up to me that we hadn't had a chance to talk about it. And I was fine with that. I was leaving in a few days.

Ainsley: Can't. Going out with Katie, remember?

James: Where? I'll magically show up and carry u away caveman style.

Ainsley: Not tonight. Sorry.

James: Baby, you're killing me. I want to be inside you again.

Again? I closed my eyes tightly and blew out a breath. He thought we'd had sex? I was about to reply when I heard Elly on the stairs. I set my phone down as Elly came back, baby in her arms. I leaned towards the baby as she came closer.

"Oh. She's so cute."

It was true. She had Elly's little nose and Kent's big brown eyes with long eyelashes that lots of women pay good money for.

"Thank you," Elly said with a soft smile. "Would you like to hold her?"

"Oh, um. No, I'm scared I'd drop her."

Elly nodded and bounced the little thing gently in her arms.

"So you and James, huh? Tell me how that's going."

I felt the heat on my cheeks. "Um... you know."

She laughed. "I don't. Honestly. He's never had anything but groupies since I've known him. Stacy told me that Rio said he's sick of hearing about you. And that you're all James talks about before and after band practice and at work."

I shrugged. "Probably just telling Rio about my snoring and my horrible fashion sense."

Her eyes roamed my body. "I don't think you have horrible fashion sense."

"Well, I did. Okay, maybe I didn't. I just wasn't confident that a grown-up should wear this kind of thing on any other day besides Halloween. But it feels right."

Elly smiled. "It looks right. So are you two serious? Should we be expecting a proposal or anything?"

I laughed nervously. The mere thought of James on his knee holding a ring was too much to picture. "No. With James? No, I don't think so. We're just... friends."

Elly grinned. "Ah. Right."

"I mean, yes, I'd love to be more than just a fling with James but I don't think he's that kind of guy."

"Maybe he is for you."

My phone buzzed again and I picked it up.

James: Fucking fathers! Who needs them! I need you.

"It's James," I murmured, texting him back.

Ainsley: At Elly's house working on the website. Be there in thirty?

James: No. Too long. See you in ten. I drive fast.

"Um..." I glanced between Elly and the phone. "James is coming over?"

"Hm." She shifted the baby to her other arm and stood up. "Okay. Let me go feed this one. You can go ahead and get comfy on the couch if you want. And feel free to answer the door if I'm not back in time."

I nodded and waited until I heard her on the stairs to move myself with my laptop to the couch. While she was busy, I got a little work done.

There was a knock on the door and after quickly saving my progress I got up to answer it. Standing on the stoop was James. His eyes glittered in a dangerous way and he almost immediately wrapped an arm around my back and pulled me in for a hungry kiss. I was already losing my senses when he pulled away enough to whisper, "Better."

I put my hands on his jaw and searched his eyes. "What happened with your dad?"

"We can talk about it later." He gave me another kiss and then stepped inside, keeping me close. "Where is Els?"

"She went upstairs to feed the baby. She said to let you in."

"Nice of her."

"I thought so."

"Let's go."

"Go?"

"Yeah, I came to get you so we could go somewhere private."

"Private?"

"Ainsley, this little parrot game is cute."

I shook my head. Why did he want to go somewhere private with me? Was this about sex again? Good, private was good. We could talk about us, about sex, about the nature of this fling we had going on. "We should say goodbye."

"You're right. Bye, Elly! I'm taking Ainsley!"

He grabbed for my hand but I resisted.

"My laptop..."

"Geez, woman. I gave you ten minutes to get ready. Hurry. We have many positions to try."

"Bye, Ainsley," Elly said from upstairs. "James, call me later."

I swallowed back my dread as I gathered up my things and walked with James to the front door.

He drove us to a hotel, from the look of it, probably a four-star. The valet was waiting outside, the bell hops stood by their golden carts waiting for new arrivals.

James let the valet take his car and grabbed my hand, eagerly pulling me towards the check-in desk. I couldn't help scanning the lobby, wondering if there were any familiar faces in town for the reunion. This is where I should have stayed. I could've avoided all the heartache and confusion that was going to happen as soon as we were alone upstairs.

Once alone in the room he took a quick look around. I stood by the mirror, my hands crossed over my chest.

"James, what are we doing here?"

"We're getting some privacy."

"James..."

"No, Ainsley." He tossed the keycard onto the dresser and came over, putting his hands on my hips as he pressed his body against mine and took me into his arms.

I closed my eyes briefly, soaking it in. It was heaven. It was healing. I bit my lower lip hard as I put my hands between us and pushed him away. He smirked.

"Playing hard to get?"

"James."

His smile dropped as he recognized the serious in my expression. "What?"

"We never had sex."

It felt good to get that off my chest. It didn't feel good to watch as his expression changed from shock to surprise to anger.

"What?"

"You came home that night, and you tried and I turned you down. We haven't..."

"Right." He stepped back and ran his hands through his hair. For a moment I saw the anguish before he pasted his smile back in place. "I knew that. I was just hoping. You can't blame a guy for trying." He sighed and glanced around. "Well, we have a hotel room. We should use it."

"I just said--"

"No. Not for that. Let's just take a nap. I don't know about you but my fucking neck and back are screaming from Scott's shitty couch."

I swallowed hard and looked around. A nap? He was full of surprises. "Okay, I guess."

"It's a King. I can be all the way over here." He slipped off his shoes and laid down on far side of the bed.

I drew the curtains, darkening the room. Almost instantly when I turned around, I regretted it. Seeing him there on the bed was torture. "Maybe you should just enjoy it by yourself."

"Come on, Ainsley. I promise I won't touch you."

That's what I was afraid of. That he wouldn't touch me now that he knew I was serious and wasn't going to give him the one thing he wanted. I sat down on the edge of the bed and removed my shoes before sliding back up to the pillows. I wrapped my arms around myself as I curled up against the cool air. My mind was swimming with James, his reaction. He let it roll right off of him that I didn't want to sleep with him. I was hurt that I'd been expecting a bigger reaction, some begging, maybe, and had received nothing like that.

And who was I kidding? I'd wanted a fling. He'd given me one — up to where I'd wanted it to go. And now it was over. Why did that hurt so damn much? My heart was beating loudly, I was sure he could hear it. I felt the hot prick of tears in my eyes and I blinked them back. This made no sense. This feeling made no sense. I knew this was going to happen, I knew this would be the end result. I held my breath, trying to stop them from coming.

You're not worth it, Ainsley.

I closed my eyes tighter, my inner scolding voice that I'd picked up from my mother was making herself be known.

I am worth it, I am.

You're not. Look at you. James can do better. He'll find someone better.

I blew out a hot breath and sucked in another one quickly before the emotions came out. I laid as still as I could, hoping the voice would shut the hell up inside my head. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want him to see my pain, my insecurities.

The bed shifted, and he was behind me. I felt his breath on my neck. I closed my eyes tighter.

"Ainsley?" His voice was so soft, edged with concern. After a pause he ran his hand over my hair and I lost it. His comfort, his act of selflessness, was too much.

I exploded outwards and jolted forward. His arms were around me, turning me, and pulling me in towards his chest. I cried hot tears against his shirt, my fists balled tightly as I let it all out.

"I'm sorry."

"Ainsley, why are you crying? You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry I'm not what you want."

His grip tightened on me for a moment before he released his hold and pulled me back.

"Look at me." When I refused to open my eyes, he gave me a shake and repeated himself. "Fucking look at me, Ainsley." I opened my eyes and stared up into his. They were dark and angry. "You are not the problem here. You are more than good enough for me. You're too good for me. And, if you'd let me, Ainsley, I'd show you just how much I fucking want you. Since I saw you again, you started creeping into my mind. You're all I can think about. And I thought..." He looked away and shook his head before looking back. "I'm the fucked up one thinking that if I had you enough times I'd get tired of it... of you."

I blinked back more tears that were trying to fall. My hands in tight fists between our bodies.

"It scares the shit out of me to think that I wouldn't be able to." His eyes softened as they dropped to my lips. He moved his thumbs over my face, wiping away my tears. My whole body was trembling for so many reasons.

"Me too," I confessed in a whisper.

I laid in the heavenly space between James's arms and stared up at the dark ceiling. I wished I could be here forever.

"Who are you thinking about?" he murmured softly, his finger caressing the corner of my lips.

"Just you." I met his eyes and leaned in closer, pressing my lips to his.

He groaned and lowered his hand, giving my behind a squeeze. "Right answer."

I snuggled into the comfort of his arms as his hand moved up, his finger running slowly up and down my spine.

"What happened in Vegas? Who was the guy?"

I swallowed hard and tried to turn away but he held me tight, tsking me. "Don't run away from me, Ains."

"I'm not running away. I'm rolling away." I paused and tried again, but kept his grip on me. "Fine. There was no guy. I haven't had a guy in a couple of years."

He rolled me onto my side and spooned me, nuzzling my neck with his nose, he whispered, "Tell me more about the last guy, Ainsley. I need to know how not to fuck up in the future."

The future? He was thinking about the future? Did he mean a future with me? Or with some other girl? I held my breath until my chest was so tight that I had to inhale. I didn't want him to say someone else, so I didn't ask the question.

"We met at work." I paused, waiting for some sarcastic remark. When none came I continued, "He said hi to me every day, and I thought he was just being nice. And then one day he asked me to lunch. And that went on for a while and lunch turned into dinner and... you know. He was a nice guy, good looking, stable."

"So what happened?"

"Nothing. We talked things through and we both decided it was best if we quit dating."

I replayed it briefly in my head. The last dinner we'd ever eat together in the apartment we'd shared for two years. His apartment. It had never really been mine. I'd just moved my clothes in. We sat over salad and pasta and talked it out like two mature adults. There had never been any real passion between us. It was just...comfortable and nice. And when it was time for me to leave I half hoped that he would tell me to stay. That he wanted me to stay. That he couldn't imagine living without me. But he didn't. He asked if I needed him to pick up some moving boxes. And he if he should throw a going away party.

When James didn't say anything I glanced over my shoulder, I was sure he was asleep. But he wasn't. He was staring with open eyes out my window. When he saw me turn his eyes met mine.

"And you two were fucking?"

I turned back around and tucked my hands under my cheek. "Yeah."

"Did he know how to use his dick?"

I turned around and cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Did he do it right? I know it wasn't you. I mean, Sweet Baby Monkeys, you know how to drive a man fucking crazy."

I turned back around with a little smile, "He was okay. How about you? Why aren't you married with kids like your mother wants you to be?"

His warm hand was on my hair, smoothing it back from my ear and neck. I closed my eyes as his breath tickled me.

"So many tits, so little time."

I gasped and tried to pull away but he chuckled and kept me captive. "Okay, fine. For serious, I..." He groaned. "I haven't really talked about this. Except maybe to Scott or Rio when I was blitzed out of my mind and my mouth was running. Once upon a time, there was this woman. And she was gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you," he added, kissing my neck, "and she was fun and warm and kind. She was pretty much everything I thought I'd ever need in life. I was totally into this girl. She was my everything."

I wished he'd hurry up and get to the point. I was starting to feel a bit insecure and jealous of this nameless woman.

"And I took her to meet my mom and my sisters and my dad. They all loved her. It was great. And I, like a dumbass, proposed to her. And she accepted, but she told me not to tell anyone just yet. Should've been a warning sign, but I was so stupid in love that I didn't think anything of it. And a week later she broke it off."

"Why would she do that?" I started to turn around, but he held me tightly in place.

"She used me to get back at her ex. To make him jealous. I fell right into her wily trap. She won, and I was manipulated."

My heart squeezed for him. This woman had done a number on him and he'd been flitting from skirt to skirt ever since? But why was he telling me all of this? Why was he choosing me to open up to? Maybe he thought I was a safe bet.

"Her loss," I whispered as I turned in his arms and kissed the strong lines of his jaw.