Lola

NOT HAVING MY phone was like missing an arm. It was an extension of my body. Pathetic, I know, but I was a woman raised in the technological age. I couldn’t function without it, so after a few hours of going cold turkey, I was over it. After deciding the best course of action was to wait until most everyone had left for the day, I headed out around eight to go to the office and get it.

The building was locked up for the evening, but I was still able to get in with my security badge. It was eerie how different everything was after the sun had gone down. The lone security guard working the night shift was too entranced by the small television he had set up behind his desk to even notice me, even with the click of my heels echoing like gunshots through the expanse of the otherwise silent lobby. I even did a little jig to see if he’d notice, but there was nothing. He was like a cyborg. Or he slept with his eyes open.

After a short elevator ride, I stepped onto the floor of KTSW and encountered a ghost town. The cleaning crew had already come and gone, so I could thankfully get in and out unnoticed. I hurried through the sea of empty cubicles toward my new office and began shuffling through the paperwork scattered on my desk. “Shit,” I whispered, having come up empty. “Where the hell is it?” I yanked open the bottom drawer where I usually stuck my purse, hoping it had fallen out in there.

“Looking for this?”

I let out a startled shriek at the unexpected voice and shot up straight, grabbing the first thing from my desk I could get my hands on — which just so happened to be a stapler — and chucking it in the direction of my office door.

“Ow! Son of a bitch!”

“Grayson?” I shouted, my heart nearly beating out of my chest. “What the ever-loving fuck! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Christ,” he grunted, reaching up and massaging his forehead where I’d nailed him with the stapler. “Your aim is freakishly good. Am I bleeding?”

I released an indignant huff as my pulse returned to a normal level. Once the shock of his sudden appearance wore off, I was hit with the spike of yearning I encountered every time he was near. The memory of his teasing touch and heated kiss from earlier that morning came rushing back, my skin prickling. My body’s reaction, and the way my heart fluttered at the sight of him, set me on edge. I wanted to hate him, so very badly, but I just couldn’t. I was hurt, yes, and that pain wasn’t getting any better. But the feelings I had for him were so overwhelming, it was a struggle to breathe.

“No, you’re not bleeding, you big baby. You’re fine. And that’s what you get for sneaking up on me. What are you doing here, anyway?” My tone was acerbic as I glared angrily. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t find his deliciously disheveled appearance appealing, but it was a lie.

He looked good… damn good. His jacket and tie were missing, and the collar of his button-down was open enough to give me a tantalizing peek at his throat. The sleeves of his shirt were folded nearly to his elbows. Despite the slight wrinkle in his clothes, and the fact that he looked like he’d been running his hands through his hair all day long, he still looked freaking amazing. The bastard.

In answer to my question, he lifted his right arm, revealing my phone in the palm of his hand. “You left this in the conference room this morning. I was planning on bringing it to you after I finished a few conference calls I had.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, looking down at my hands, “Uh… well, th-thank you.”

“But then I saw you in the lobby as I was heading out.”

Uh-oh.

“You saw me?”

At the crooked grin that slowly tilted his lips up, I knew he knew exactly what I was asking. “Yep. Nice dance moves, by the way.”

Crap in a handbasket! “The guard was practically catatonic,” I defended insolently, crossing my arms over my chest. “I was trying to get his attention.”

“Ah, I see.” His smile deepened as he took two steps into the room, effectively shrinking the space with his magnetic aura. “Well, it’s a shame he missed it. I found it quite entertaining.”

“So glad I could amuse you.” I glowered at him, trying to hold on to my anger and show I wasn’t affected, even though I took two steps back to maintain a safe distance.

“You always amuse me, Lola.” His voice was gravelly and deep as he continued to advance. In the dim lights of the office, I could see the hunger darkening his gaze as those green eyes raked up and down my body. “You make me laugh all the time. You drive me crazy. You’re all I can think about every second of every day.”

“Grayson, don’t,” I pleaded, taking another handful of steps backward until I hit Daphne’s desk. Unable to move any farther, I watched as he closed in on me, my belly tightening with nerves. “I can’t do this with you. Please, just—”

“I miss you,” he whispered, his palms coming down on the desk by my hips, caging me in. His declaration stole my breath, and a well of emotion clogged my throat as he leaned in, running his nose along the side of mine. “I miss you all the goddamned time. Even when you’re standing right in front of me like you are right now. Because I still don’t have you.”

I clenched my eyes shut and swallowed thickly. “This isn’t—”

My words were cut off when his mouth slammed down on mine.

There was no slow buildup, nothing soft and gentle leading into the kiss. It ignited the instant his lips touched mine. My brain immediately shut off and my body melted, and I was left with no choice but to follow where he led.

Because he demanded it with that kiss. He commanded my body from the very start, and I was helpless to fight it.

I didn’t want to.

His tongue forced its way into my mouth and tangled with mine as his hands squeezed the curve of my ass, pulling me flush against him. I moaned uncontrollably at the feel of his hot, hard arousal against my belly. I was feverish, frenzied in my need to touch and taste him. It was such a visceral want that I could think of nothing else, nothing but his skin against mine.

I pulled at his shirt until it came free of his pants, then snaked my hand up the solid muscles of his back, raking my nails across his flesh as I fought to keep our mouths fused while trying to touch every available inch of him I could get my hands on. I was so consumed that I barely noticed the edge of the desk cutting into my backside as he pressed harder against me.

We were finally forced to break the kiss when oxygen became necessary. But Grayson didn’t go far. He trailed heated, biting kisses down my neck to my collarbone as he yanked the hem of my skirt to my waist. I didn’t fight it as his thumbs hooked into the edges of my panties and started pulling them down my thighs; instead, I shimmied my hips to assist, then kicked the useless scrap of lace aside once it pooled at my feet.

Never in my life had I been so frantic for another person. My skin felt two sizes too small as desperation coursed through my blood. I feared I’d splinter into a million tiny pieces any second if I didn’t feel him inside of me. The sound of his zipper coming down reverberated through the office like a crack of thunder. Between one breath and the next, he lifted me onto the desk and drove his cock into me, bottoming out in one glorious thrust.

My head fell back on a keening cry as I stretched to accommodate his size. It was bliss and pain and euphoria all at the same time. It was everything. It was overwhelming. And I never wanted it to end.

The thought to fight for control, to dominate and take charge of the situation, never once crossed my mind. I simply held on and felt as Grayson fucked me hard and fast on the surface of that desk. I could feel myself getting close after just a few punishing thrusts, but I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted this to last.

He held me tightly to him, chest to chest, as he manipulated my body more perfectly than anyone ever had. And when my eyelids began to fall closed, he tangled a hand in my mass of hair and yanked, forcing me to keep my eyes on his.

Our faces were mere inches apart, our breaths mingling, and I could see the desperation darkening the beautiful green of his eyes. “Grayson,” I breathed, my eyes going wide at the sight of the unconcealed emotion on his face. He’d opened himself so completely for me to see, letting his raw, uncontrollable need for me shine to the surface.

“I need you, Lola,” he panted, driving his cock deeper and harder. “Let me have you.”

My breath hitched on a painful gasp, fear taking hold because I knew exactly what he was asking, even as every nerve ending in my body pulled tautly and my impending release coiled tighter deep in my belly. I was going to explode, come apart so extraordinarily that I worried there’d be nothing left of me afterward.

“Only you,” he grunted, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead. “It’s only you. Don’t you see that?”

“Please….” My voice was a plea, but for what, I didn’t know. I wanted to give him what he was asking, yet the thought of doing so terrified me.

“Let me have you.” The beseeching quality in his voice disappeared with that sharp command.

“Grayson, I’m close.” The feeling was so intense I feared it even as my hips moved against his, chasing after the climax I was so scared of.

“Give it to me,” he growled, one hand snaking between our bodies. His lithe fingers toyed with my sensitive clit, rubbing hard circles as he drove harder and faster, shaking the desk beneath me. “Now, Lola.”

And I detonated, crying out unintelligibly as my climax took control and every part of my body clamped down around him. I barely heard his loud, feral roar through the blood rushing in my ears as he followed after me.

My orgasm left me a boneless, panting mess. It felt like ages passed before I was finally able to control my limbs and sit up straight. I unwound my arms from around Grayson’s neck, placing my palms on the cool surface at my sides as I fought to gain control of the tumultuous emotions warring inside of me.

Seconds later, Grayson lifted his head from where he’d buried it in the crook of my neck. His fingers traced along my hairline, tucking wayward strands of hair behind my ear as he examined my face. “You okay?” he whispered, concern lacing his words. “Did I hurt you?”

“Yes.” His body locked tight, so I quickly amended, “I mean, no, you didn’t hurt me. And yes, I’m okay.”

He slipped from my body as he took a step back and held my arms, helping me to my feet. I missed the feel of him as soon as I lost it, but that feeling was quickly overlapped when I felt the heat of his release between my thighs.

“Shit,” I hissed, my eyes darting down to his fly and back up to meet his gaze. “We didn’t use a condom.”

“I’m clean,” he declared casually, like he was talking about something as innocuous as doing his taxes. “And I know you are too.”

I sidestepped him, my movements agitated as I straightened my clothes the best I could. Anxiety began to squeeze my chest and twist my stomach into knots. “I am, but that’s beside the point. We didn’t even stop to think about protection. That’s stupid and irresponsible, Grayson!”

“It’ll be fine.” He reached for me, but I moved back. His composed demeanor only worked to aggravate me further.

“You can’t know that! I’m on the pill, but nothing’s guaranteed. That was… that….” I pointed at the desk where we’d all but attacked each other seconds before. “That was reckless! And careless! And… stupid!”

“And if something happened because of it, we’ll deal. It’s not the end of the fucking world, Lola,” he gritted, his voice jagged. “If you were to get pregnant, then so be it.”

My jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out. “‘So be it’? Are you… are… are you insane?” I sputtered, slightly hysterical. “We can’t have a baby, Grayson!”

He closed the distance between us in two quick steps, his face only an inch from mine. “Why not? Why would us having a baby be such a bad thing, huh? Personally, I’d be fucking thrilled if you were pregnant. At least that way I’d have something to keep you tied to me since you’re so goddamned insistent on running away from what’s between us.”

“Oh my God,” I gasped, taking a step away. “You’ve lost it. Do you hear what you’re saying? You can’t use a baby to trap someone into being with you, Grayson. That’s… that’s not… God, that’s just so wrong.”

“Fuck!” he shouted, raking his hands through his hair as he began to pace. “That’s not what I meant. Christ, this is all coming out wrong.”

“Then what did you mean? Explain it to me, because you’re starting to freak me way the fuck out.”

“I just….” He stopped, shaking his head viciously before looking me right in the eye. “I’d take any part of you I could get. Don’t you get that? I’m so fucking in love with you that I’d be willing to accept whatever scraps you threw my way. I’d never trap you into being with me if you got pregnant, but I’m not going to lie and tell you that the thought of having you in my life for the next eighteen years, even if the connection is through another person, doesn’t hold a certain appeal.”

I was stunned, speechless. The ground beneath my feet could’ve begun to quake and crack and I wouldn’t have been able to move or take my eyes off him. I couldn’t process what he’d just said, but at the same time I couldn’t stop replaying his words.

He said he loves me.

He said he loves me!

Holy shit!

“I — you — I… you can’t—”

“Don’t tell me I don’t love you,” he barked. “Don’t.”

“We’ve… it’s… you’ve barely known me over a month!” I shouted, throwing my hands out, because I couldn’t force my brain to wrap around what he was saying.

Grayson was on me in a second, his large, rough hands cupping my cheeks as he stared down at me. His green eyes held so much sincerity it stole my breath. “You’re all I think about when I’m awake. You consume my dreams when I sleep. I want to be near you all the time. And before you say it, it’s not just about the sex, even though I’ve never had better — never. It’s more than that. I want to make you laugh just so I can hear it. I listen to your show every goddamned day because I miss the sound of your voice. When you’re around, the need to touch you is so fucking overwhelming it makes my skin crawl. I want to make you happy. I want to be the one to make it better when you’re sad. I want to fight with you and make up with you. I want everything, and I want it with you. Only you. Only. You. So don’t tell me I don’t love you, because that’s a goddamned lie. What I feel for you in the short time I’ve known you is more than I ever felt for Fiona in the four fucking years we were together.”

“I….” I had no words. Not a single one, because everything he’d just described was exactly what I felt every minute of every day.

Oh God.

I loved him.

I was in love with him. Crazy, stupid, irrational love.

And he loved me too.

And I couldn’t get my mouth to form words! Speak, Lola! Say something, anything!

I just stared at him, unable to process everything going on in my head. It wasn’t until he began tucking his shirt back into his pants that I was able to unfreeze.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“I’m leaving,” he answered flatly. “I’ve said everything I needed to say. I know you well enough to know that fighting you anymore would be pointless.”

“But—”

“You need time to think,” he stated, finally looking up to meet my gaze. “If I push you anymore tonight, you’ll shut down completely, so I’m giving you what you need. I’m going to leave and let you have your space. But know this.” He was back in front of me, his hands on either side of my neck, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles beneath my jaw. “I’m not letting you go. I love you. And despite what you say, I know you have feelings for me. You wouldn’t have been so hurt about those lies in the papers if you didn’t.”

“Gray—”

“Go home, baby. Get some sleep.” He’d cut me off again. It was really starting to piss me off.

I narrowed my eyes to angry slits. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but I knew I at least wanted to say something. “Will you just—”

He silenced me with a quick kiss, not letting me get a word in edgewise. He finally released his hold, taking a step back and reaching into the pocket of his pants. “Here. Don’t want you to forget this.” Grayson took my hand and placed my cell phone in my palm. “I’ll pick you up Saturday for the gala.”

Then he turned and left, leaving me all alone in the dark, quiet office with kiss-bruised lips and an aching heart.