Susan Sullivan was on her way to meet the one person she was most scared of.

A walk, yes, a walk would do her good. Out into the daylight, away from the suffocation of her house, away from her own tumbling thoughts. She pushed in her iPod earphones, pulled on a dark woolly hat, tightened her brown tweed coat and faced into the biting snow.

Her mind raced. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t distract herself, couldn’t escape the nightmare of her past; it haunted every waking minute of her day and invaded her night like a bat, black and swift, making her ill. She had tried to make contact with a detective in Ragmullin Garda Station, but had received no reply. It would have been her safety net. More than anything she wanted to learn the truth and when she had exhausted all the usual channels she decided to go it alone. Perhaps it would help exorcise the demons. She shivered. Walking faster, slipping and sliding, not caring any more; she had to know. It was time.

With her head bent low into the breeze, she trudged through the town as quickly as the frozen footpaths would allow. She looked up at the twin spires of the cathedral as she entered through the wrought iron gates and automatically blessed herself. Someone had thrown handfuls of salt on the concrete steps and it crunched beneath her boots. The snow eased and a low wintery sun glinted from behind dark clouds. She pushed open the large door, stamped her numb feet on the rubber mat and, as the echo of the closing door muted, she stepped into the silence.

Removing the earphones, she left them dangling on her shoulders. Though she had walked for half an hour, she was freezing. The east wind had cut through the layers of clothing and her scant body fat could not protect her fifty-one-year-old bones. Rubbing her face, she streaked a finger around her sunken eyes and blinked away the water streaming from them. She tried to refocus in the semi-darkness. Candles on the side altar illuminated shadows along the mosaic walls. Weak sunlight petered through the stained glass windows high above the Stations of the Cross and Susan walked slowly through the sepia haze, sniffing the aroma of incense in the air.

Bowing her head, she sidled into the front row, the wooden kneeler jolting her joints. She blessed herself again, wondering how she still had a modicum of religion after all she had done, all she’d been through. Feeling alone in the silence, she thought how ironic it was that he had suggested meeting in the cathedral. She had agreed because she believed there would be plenty of people around at that time of day. Safe. But it was empty, the weather had kept them away.

A door opened and closed, sending a whoosh of wind up the centre aisle. Susan knew it was him. Fear numbed her. She couldn’t look around. Instead, she stared straight ahead at the candle above the tabernacle until it blurred.

Footsteps, slow and determined, echoed up the aisle. The seat behind her creaked as he knelt. A fog of cold air swarmed around her, and his distinctive scent vied with the incense. She raised herself from her kneeling position and sat back. His breath, short sharp puffs, the only sound she could hear. She felt him without him having touched her. At once, she knew this was a mistake. He was not here to answer her questions. He would not give her the closure she craved.

‘You should have minded your own business.’ His voice, a harsh whisper.

She could not answer. Her breathing quickened and her heart thumped against her ribs, reverberating in her eardrums. She clenched her fingers into fists, knuckles white underneath thin skin. She wanted to run, to get away, far away, but her energy was spent and she knew it was now her time.

Tears threatened at the corners of her eyes and his hand closed around her throat, gloved fingers tracking a line up and down her loose flesh. Her hands flew up to grab at his but he swatted her away. His fingers found the iPod cable and she felt him twisting it, curling it about her neck. She smelled his sour aftershave and she became totally aware then that she would die without ever knowing the truth.

She squirmed on the hard wooden seat and tried to pull away, her hands tearing feverishly at his gloved fingers, only succeeding in causing the cable to cut tighter into her skin. Attempting to gulp breaths, she found she couldn’t. Warm liquid burned between her legs as she wet herself. He pulled tighter. Weakened, she dropped her arms. He was too strong.

As her life choked away beneath the tightness, in a strange way she welcomed the physical pain over the anguished years of mental affliction. Descending darkness extinguished the flame on the candle as his hand jerked once, then twice, and her body slackened and all fear eased from her being.

Within those last moments of torment she allowed the shadows to lead her to a place of light and comfort, to a peace she had never experienced with the living. Tiny stars pinpricked her eyes before blackness washed in a wave through her dying body.

The cathedral bells chimed twelve times. The man released the pressure and pushed her body to the ground.

Another blast of freezing air travelled up the centre aisle as he left with speed and in silence.