Braxx scowled as he waited for the Earth female to reply. Typical of her kind, she wouldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, her gaze flicked automatically away from his scarred visage, as though she was afraid to be caught staring.
“Oh, um…”
She seemed at a loss for words. Probably she didn’t know what to say after laying eyes on him—that too, was typical. Braxx steeled himself for the inevitable look of pity or disgust but for some reason it didn’t come.
“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t expecting you,” she said at last. And then, in a rush, “I mean, I was expecting you but not just now. I thought you were my friend, Denise who’s coming with me on the field study.”
“Well, I’m not,” Braxx growled. “Should I wait in my ship for you?” he added, seeing that she wasn’t ready to go yet. She had no shoes on and her long, lush hair, which was the color of the Earth confection called caramel, was loose and flowing down her back.
“Oh no, of course not. I’m sorry.” She stepped aside and made a welcoming motion with one hand. “Please, come in. I’m sure Denise will be here shortly.”
Reluctantly, Braxx entered her dwelling. He didn’t really want to come in but he was aware that his social skills were lacking—at least by Earth standards—and he didn’t want to give offense.
As if my face doesn’t already give enough offense without me opening my mouth, he thought grimly as he stepped across her threshold.
“Please, make yourself at home,” the curvy little Earth female said, gesturing to a plump, overstuffed couch. Her big brown eyes still refused to meet his. “I’m just going to call Denise and see what’s going on with her,” she added and disappeared around the corner into another room.
Braxx sighed unhappily as he sank down on the couch—which wheezed protestingly at his muscular bulk. He hated coming to Earth—would do almost anything to avoid it, in fact. But all the other warriors attached to the Mothership had been out running patrols, searching for signs of the Hive—the sentient insect race that threatened the Earth and its inhabitants. When Commander Sylvan had asked him to go and pick up the Earth girl and brief her about Tal’os Trenta on the journey to the Mothership to save time, he had reluctantly agreed.
It was Braxx who had discovered Tal’os in the first place. As a scout, he regularly went far out, searching promising planets for signs of life. The Kindred were always looking for new trade partners as well as new energy sources and life forms that could be useful if genetically manipulated.
Braxx had been social and easy-going before the accident which had disfigured the left side of his face so severely. He’d served as one of the Kindred’s flight instructors. But afterwards he had taken a job with the scouting division, preferring the blackness of space to the pitying and horrified stares he got when he was in the company of others.
With another sigh, he stretched his long legs out in front of him and crossed them at the ankles, preparing to wait. He hadn’t been involved with any female since Delanna had left him but he did remember that they took their time getting ready. Doubtless he would be stuck in this female’s small domicile for a while—might as well make himself comfortable.
He amused himself by looking around, noticing that the furnishing was spare and extremely neat, though there were a few female touches here and there. Besides the couch he was sitting on there was one other chair and an Earth instrument he believed was called a poano. Or was it pinano? Anyway, it was something like that.
On one wall hung a mirror with a golden frame—a decorative touch, no doubt. In it, Braxx caught a glimpse at his own face. Though he tried not to look at himself, he couldn’t help staring for just a moment. The right side of his face looked smooth and even—handsome even—Delanna had always said so. He had the golden eyes of his race and the thick, black hair of a Beast Kindred as well. If he just turned his head so only the right side showed, he looked normal.
But the left side…well, that was another matter. Thick, disfiguring scar tissue twisted the left side of his face, distorting his mouth, twisting it into a sneer. His left ear was nearly melted away, though he wore his hair a little longer than was typical to cover it. But nothing could cover the other ugly scars and no surgery could help them either. They were set in place by the plasticine engine fuel which had burned so hot it melted his features in less than a minute as he worked to get Yarex free of the wreck.
I tried so hard to save you, Brother. But you died anyway. And now look at me…
Braxx turned away, unable to look anymore, unable to bear thinking of his past failure. Instead, he studied the musical instrument which had rows of black and white keys. He wondered if Dr. Reynaud played it or if it was just for decoration.
On top of its wooden surface was an old-fashioned framed picture—not a holo—of the female who had opened the door. Dr. Reynaud wasn’t quite looking at the camera for some reason but she was laughing, her big brown eyes sparkling with apparent enjoyment and beside her was another girl with black hair and deep brown skin tones who was also laughing. Maybe this was her friend—the one she was waiting for?
She really was a beautiful woman, he thought, studying the Doctor’s picture. And young for such an honor. Commander Sylvan had spoken of her credentials with deep respect, leading Braxx to believe she was somewhat older. But she looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties, although it could be difficult to tell age in an Earth female and they were sensitive about being asked.
At any rate, she was gorgeous, no matter what her age, he thought. With that wild hair and those huge eyes…not to mention her lush, curvy figure which was what he’d heard some other Earth females refer to as “plus-sized,” any male would want her.
He liked “plus-sized” females—he liked Doctor Reynaud’s lush hips, her generous behind, and her full breasts. Gods, he ought to stop thinking this way! How long had it been since he’d bedded a female?
Not since Delanna, he thought regretfully. And even with her, he’d never had bonding sex. She’d said she wanted to wait until their joining night to let him sink his shaft all the way inside her, to fill her with the mating fist which grew around the base. He was incredibly grateful that he hadn’t bonded her to him now. Although he couldn’t help wondering if she might have stayed with him, even after the accident, if they had been bonded…
“Hey, do you want some breakfast?” Dr. Reynaud came back into the room, still pointedly not looking at him. “I haven’t had anything yet—I was too excited and nervous to eat—but I know I need something. Since we’re waiting for Denise anyway, I can whip us up some Cream of Wheat.”
“Cream of what?” Braxx growled, trying to think what she might mean. He knew wheat was an Earth grain but how would you go about making it creamy?
“Oh, haven’t you heard of that?” she asked, coming up to him. “It’s a sort of regional breakfast food. It’s—oh!”
Her last words ended in a shriek. Though she had been looking right at him—well, in his general direction anyway—as she spoke, she had somehow tripped over his outstretched legs and was now falling face first to the floor.
Without thinking, Braxx reached out and snatched her out of the air. His Kindred reflexes stood him in good stead—she didn’t even hit the ground. Instead, she ended up in his lap with a surprised look on her face.
“Watch where you’re going, why don’t you?” Braxx demanded, angry because he’d been afraid for her—afraid she would fall and hurt those lovely, delicate features he saw staring up into his own twisted visage.
“I can’t watch where I’m going!” she exclaimed, sounding exasperated. “I’m blind. What did I trip over, anyway? I know there isn’t a piece of furniture there.”
“You…you’re…” Braxx was having a hard time wrapping his head around the concept. “You’re blind?” he asked at last, staring down into her face. “But your eyes look so normal…beautiful,” he added, before he thought about it.
“Of course they look normal.” She still sounded exasperated. “The accident that took my sight damaged the part of my brain responsible for vision—the occipital lobe—not my eyes.”
Braxx was still having a hard time believing her. He held two fingers in front of her face.
“How many fingers am I holding up?” he demanded.
“How should I know?” she asked, frowning. “Look, are you dense or something? I told you, I’m blind. Which means I can’t see—at all. I’m not even partially sighted, okay?”
“All right. I’m sorry.” Braxx shook his head. “It’s just…you moved so confidently around your domicile. I thought—”
“I move around my own home with ease because I know where everything is,” she said crisply. “I had all the furniture placed and memorized its placement. And I know there isn’t a footstool or chair here, so what did I trip on?”
“I…had my legs stretched out,” Braxx admitted haltingly. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I didn’t know you were…I mean, I never would have tripped you on purpose, Dr. Reynaud.”
“It’s all right—I’ll just chalk it up as another ‘blind girl’ moment.” To his surprise, instead of continuing to be angry, she actually smiled and laughed with wry amusement. “I tend to have a lot of those but that’s okay—I just go with the flow.”
Just like in her picture, the smile transformed her face from pretty to gorgeous and Braxx found he suddenly couldn’t look away from her.
He was aware that he was still holding her on his lap and knew he ought to let her go—ought to set her back on her feet. But she was so soft against him and she smelled so damn good. The scent of her freshly washed hair was intoxicating and under it was another, deeper scent that was wholly feminine and incredibly enticing.
Also, he was still trying to get over the fact that she couldn’t see.
She wasn’t avoiding my eyes because she didn’t want to see my scars, like other females do, he thought wonderingly. She wasn’t meeting my eyes because she couldn’t see them. She can’t tell how ugly I am! And I can stare at her beauty all I want without being considered “rude” or worrying that she’s judging me for my own outward appearance.
The thought was immediately and intensely appealing. A beautiful woman with a sense of humor who couldn’t see his own disfigurement. Dr. Reynaud was perfect.
“Forgive me,” he said, trying to make his brain work again. “For tripping you. It wasn’t intentional, as I said, Doctor Reynaud.”
“Call me Molly, Commander Braxx,” she said. “Any man who keeps me from face-planting is on a first name basis as far as I’m concerned.”
“Molly,” he echoed her, liking the sound of her name. It seemed to fit her somehow. “And you may call me simply Braxx.”
“Thank you, Braxx, for catching me instead letting me fall,” she said, still smiling. “You’re fast.” She placed one soft hand on his arm and ran her fingers lightly up to his shoulder. “And big,” she added, sounding awed. “I thought you must be, from how high up your voice was coming from, back at the front door. But you must be like…professional basketball player tall.” She tested his bicep with one hand and Braxx obligingly flexed it for her. “And professional wrestler muscular,” she added. “Wow.”
“I am around six feet and eleven inches or two point one meters tall in Earth measurements, I believe,” he answered her. “But that is not unusual for a Kindred warrior.”
“I’ve always heard how big you guys are but I’ve never gotten to meet one of you in person,” she admitted. “I’ve always been…curious.”
Her soft hand was resting lightly on his shoulder and now she sat up a little and ran her fingers up the back of his neck to bury them in his thick black hair.
Braxx felt a shiver go through him. Gods, how long had it been since a female had touched him with anything but pity or disgust? How long since he’d felt soft, feminine hands on his body and had known that the female touching him actually wanted to touch him?
“I am…willing to satisfy your curiosity if you like,” he said, hardly knowing what he was saying.
“What kind of Kindred are you?” Her fingers continued to card through his hair and Braxx became aware that his cock was getting hard under her lush bottom. That was it, he definitely needed to get her out of his lap now. But somehow he just couldn’t make himself let her go.
“I am a Beast Kindred—from Rageron,” he answered, his voice sounding hoarse in his own ears.”
“Beast Kindred, right…” Her own voice was soft and musing and her fingers had found their way to his right cheek. “Is that the kind of Kindred who have golden eyes?” Her fingertip brushed, feather-light, over the arch of his right eyebrow.
“Yes,” Braxx whispered hoarsely. “We…do.” He cleared his throat. “But how did you know that?”
“My friend Denise described a Beast Kindred to me once when we were out shopping together,” she explained. “When we saw one in line ahead of us. Well, she saw him, anyway.”
“No, I mean…how do you know about colors?” he asked and then wished he hadn’t. Maybe it was a stupid or condesecending question. It was hard to know what to say—he’d never met anyone who was blind before.
“I didn’t lose my sight until I was sixteen,” she explained. “I was in a car wreck with my mom and dad.” Her voice dropped. “I was, uh, the only survivor.”
“I am…sorry for your loss.” His heart contracted in his chest. She was a survivor too. Just like him, she had lost loved ones in a crash.
“It was a long time ago.” Her voice became a little lighter. “Anyway, I remember colors. I still…still dream of them sometimes.” Her hand continued to explore the right side of his face. She traced it delicately, her fingertips whispering across his skin, sending shivers down his spine. “I dreamed of the color gold last night…of someone with golden eyes.”
“You…you did?” Braxx could hardly believe it. Could Molly have been dreaming of him? He scarcely dared think it. Dream sharing—or dreaming of one’s future mate—was something that only occurred when the Goddess had destined two people to be together.
He hadn’t dreamed of her, of course, but he did remember a strange dream he’d had the night before of being someplace completely dark and having an urgent need to save someone…
Then her soft, seeking fingertips wandered over to the left side of his face. Once again, Braxx acted instinctively.
Seizing her by the waist, he pushed her quickly from his lap, setting her up on her feet so fast she gave a little gasp and swayed dizzily.
“I…what?” she exclaimed, her eyes going wide with shock even though he knew she couldn’t see him.
“I’m sorry, I…” Braxx trailed off, realizing he’d acted hastily and quite probably rudely.
He had no logical explanation to give her as to why he’d pushed her off his lap so fast. All he knew was that this was a beautiful woman—the first beautiful woman who had touched him voluntarily in over five years—and he didn’t want her to know his ugly secret.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, lamely, berating himself.
How foolish could he be, anyway? Thinking the beautiful Dr. Reynaud had been dreaming of him? That she could somehow be for him, be his? What an idiotic fairy tale. He was alone because he deserved to be alone—he bore the marks of his failure on the side of his face. His failure to save his brother.. Someone as beautiful and pure and perfect as Molly wasn’t for the likes of him.
“It’s all right,” she said and to his surprise, she sounded as embarrassed as he felt. “I’m the one who’s sorry—I didn’t mean to go all Helen Keller on you.”
“You didn’t mean to what?” He shook his head and then, remembering she couldn’t see him added, “I don’t understand.”
“What I’m trying to say is I didn’t mean to act like a stereotypical blind girl. You know…” She made a gesture with one hand. “Feeling your face to ‘see’ you. I don’t…don’t usually do that. It was very rude of me.”
How could he tell her that her touch had been the best thing he’d felt in a long time? If only she hadn’t strayed over to the scarred left side of his face, he would have been happy to let her sensitive fingers explore him all day.
“It’s all right,” he said haltingly. “I…wasn’t offended. I just…I think it’s time we were going.”
“Oh, is it getting late?” She sounded upset. “But I still haven’t heard from Denise! She doesn’t even answer her phone. I wonder where she is—I’m getting really worried about her.”
“Call and leave her a message—tell her to meet us at the HRK building in downtown Tampa,” Braxx suggested.
He was afraid if they spent much more time together here in her domicile he might end up with her in his arms again. Not that he would trip her again on purpose just so he could catch her but still…he felt more attracted to her than he liked. He felt drawn to her—drawn to her sweet scent and her lovely face and warm, refreshing personality—more than he’d ever been drawn by any other female. Even Danella who he had once thought to join with.
No, it definitely didn’t seem safe to stay here alone with her. At least in the ship, which had converted to a vehicle much like an Earth car when he landed, he would be busy working the controls and guiding it along the crowded streets. Too busy to reach for her.
“All right.” Molly nodded. “I’ll do that. I’ll come with you to the HRK building but I won’t leave Earth without Denise.” Her lovely features took on a stubborn cast. “She’s coming with me to do this field work—I’m not leaving without her.”
“Understood,” Braxx said, nodding though she couldn’t see him. “Can I help you with your luggage?”
“I can bring it out from the bedroom. I have everything packed.” She turned away from him and took a few tentative steps, hand outstretched, until she reached the living area wall.
Braxx guessed that she must be disoriented and trying to find her place in the room. As soon as she did, however, she seemed to gain confidence. Her fingertips left the wall and she strode quickly around the corner.
He watched her go, his heart pounding in his chest. Gods she was beautiful! But not for him, he reminded himself.
There was no one for him, no matter how much he might wish it.