“May the light of the Cha’llah go with you—but I see I do not have to wish such a thing for you because it has already happened,” the Elder remarked. “Both of you glow brightly with its light.”
“We do?” Molly looked down at herself uncertainly. Contrary to what the Elder was saying, it seemed to her that her body was glowing less brightly. In fact, all the forms and faces she could see around her seemed to be fading at an alarming rate. What was happening to her vision?
“You do. And your healing crystal is replenished, Molly from the Stars” the Elder continued. “It shines more brightly than any crystal I have yet seen—even those dipped directly into the Cha’llah.”
“Oh…” Molly put up a finger to feel the slight warmth of the brightly glowing crystal between her eyes. It had glowed dully when the Wise One first pressed it to her forehead but now, if the Elder was to be believed, it was stronger. But if it’s all charged up then why is my heat-vision getting worse?
Molly would have liked to ask the question aloud but she knew they needed to get out of the Depths and back to the surface lands before some other male challenged Braxx for her.
Apparently, the big Kindred was thinking the same thing.
“We must be going now, Elder,” he said. “I thank you for your fairness and impartiality in your ruling of The Race.”
“I can only do as the Cha’llah commands me.” The Elder bowed his head briefly. “Go in good health, Braxx from the Sky and Molly from the Stars. Go and finish your claiming.”
“We will,” Molly said boldly. She cast a sidelong glance at Braxx but with her heat-vision dimming it was hard to read the expression on his face.
You don’t know me, he had said and had hinted darkly of some kind of secret that would keep her from wanting him. Molly couldn’t think of anything that would make her not want him—just being near him set her blood on fire. As many times as he had made her come, she still wanted more—she wanted Braxx.
She wished there was some way to convince him of that.
“Go with the blessings of the Cha’llah, Molly from the Stars,” Drogor said grudgingly. “Your scent is the sweetest I have ever smelled. I would have given you a good life here in the Depths.”
“I’m certain you would have,” Molly said as gently as she could. “But maybe you ought to look closer to home to find a mate.” She nodded at the healer, Llewith, who was standing silently at the big Deep Dweller’s side. “I know some who might be pleased to have your attentions. Llewith for instance.”
“You mean…” Drogor swung his head to face the healer and Molly could hear the surprise in his voice. “Llewith? Does Molly from the Stars speak the truth?”
With her fading vision, Molly could still see that Llewith’s cheeks were glowing red as she blushed hotly.
“She does,” she murmured. “Though I do not know how she knew it.”
“But your status is highest of any female in the clan,” Drogor exclaimed. “I thought you would wish to be joined with a future Elder or—”
“I want only you,” Llewith said in a low voice. “I have wanted you since we were children together, playing by the banks of the Cha’llah, Drogor.”
“By the Cha’llah—if I had known…” Drogor swept her suddenly into his arms. “Then I will pledge to you and claim you at once! I thought you were beyond me but now I know differently.”
He kissed Llewith, who kissed him back passionately, winding her arms around his neck as he lifted her into the air and swung her around.
The sight warmed Molly’s heart—she’d always known she wasn’t the one for the big Deep Dweller. It was nice to see that he had found the right woman for him.
But before she could do much more than offer her hasty congratulations, Braxx had her by the arm and was hurrying her away, out of the Depths.
“Come,” he murmured in her ear. “Let’s leave while they’re distracted.”
It was a good idea and Molly nodded and hurried after him, doing her best to pick her way in the darkness which was becoming more complete as the minutes passed. When they got back to the surface village, she would have to ask the Wise One what was going wrong with her healing crystal. In the meantime though, Braxx was right—the first priority was to get out of here.
* * * * *
The third time Molly stumbled, she nearly fell into a deep ravine. It ran along the side of the narrow path they were walking to get out of the Depths and was so far down Braxx couldn’t see the bottom. He barely caught her in time to keep her from falling into the pit.
“Molly? What’s wrong?” His blood ran cold as he gripped her arm and drew her back from the edge. “What’s going on? You keep stumbling—are you all right?”
“No, I…” She drew a long, shuddering breath and looked up at him, but he noticed her eyes didn’t meet his. “Braxx,” she murmured. “I think I’m going blind again.”
“What? But how is that possible?” he demanded. “The Elder was right—your healing crystal is glowing even more brightly than before.”
“I can tell that—I can see its light but that’s all I can see,” she explained. “Remember I told you the crystal gave me a kind of heat vision and I saw everyone outlined in gold and red?”
Braxx nodded and then said, “Yes,” remembering that she’d said she couldn’t see.
“Well, I can’t see that glow anymore,” Molly explained. “In fact, I can’t see anything more than a foot in front of me. Outside the range of the crystal’s light, everything is blackness.”
“We are in a very dark place,” Braxx said. “I would not be able to find my way if Kindred didn’t have excellent night vision.”
“I don’t know if it’s the darkness or that the crystal has reached the end of its usefulness or what,” Molly said. “I only know I can’t see…again.”
The last word ended on a broken little sob which tore at his heart.
“Oh Molly… jalanta,” he murmured and swept her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“It wasn’t much vision but it was some. More than I’ve had in years.” She sniffed and sighed. Drawing in a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders. “Well, it was nice while it lasted. I just…just wish it could have lasted a little longer. I liked being able to see again. Even if it was just a freaky heat-vision kind of sight.”
“Of course you did,” Braxx murmured. “And I don’t think you should give up hope. I bet the Wise One can help us when we get back to the village of the Surface Dwellers.”
“Maybe.” But she didn’t sound convinced. She sighed and stirred against him. “Well, put me down. If I take your elbow I can manage all right.”
“I’d rather carry you.” Braxx held her closer. “There are…many dangers here. It will be easier to get us both safely to the surface if I don’t have to worry about you tripping and falling.” He eyed the bottomless pit again and felt cold. If he hadn’t grabbed her arm in time…
He expected Molly to protest and for a moment it looked like she might. Then she gave a little shake of her head and murmured, “All right. But if I get too heavy, just put me down.”
“You’re not too heavy, jalanta.” Braxx dropped a tender kiss on the top of her head. “You’re just right. Come on, let’s go.”
He got her settled comfortably in his arms and went on his way, much more swiftly now that he didn’t have to worry about Molly tripping and falling into a hole.
Molly clung to him at first, then seemed to relax. With a little sigh of pure weariness, she closed her eyes and let her head rest against his chest. Braxx felt his heart clench at the trust she showed in him. Gods, she was so lovely. And she was his—his completely.
No, not completely, whispered a little voice in his brain. But you can change that…if you want to.
Did he want to? To claim her completely and tie her life to his for all time?
Of course I do, he thought instantly. The real question was, did he deserve to—did he deserve Molly?
That was a murkier issue. He had told her she didn’t know him—and that was true. She hadn’t seen his face…or the inside of his heart. She didn’t know what he’d done when the crash happened…
But maybe…maybe I could risk telling her, he thought. And even if she gets her crystal fixed, she still can’t see my scars clearly. Maybe it could work…
He felt a cautious sense of optimism as he walked upward, following the narrow path that would lead them from darkness into light.
* * * * *
She must have been asleep because a warm, golden glow woke her up. Molly’s eyelids fluttered open and the first thing she saw was a pink and purple tree. The next thing was some pinkish-green grass. And after that a sky of soft purple.
What? What is all this?
She frowned at the strange things she was seeing. It was a trick—a dream. She was dreaming of seeing as she did so often, but this time her brain had decided to scramble the colors. Everyone knew trees were green and brown—not pink and purple!
Still, even in a dream about seeing, Molly was happy. She looked around, enjoying the strange sights her dreaming brain had cooked up. Then she realized that this wasn’t a normal dream. She wasn’t walking, for one thing—she was being carried.
Turning her head, she saw a broad, bare chest and then her nose filled with a spicy, masculine scent.
Mmm, smells amazing! She rubbed her cheek against the warm wall of muscle and inhaled deeply, loving the delicious, tingling feeling the scent gave her. It was a good scent—a right scent, although she couldn’t explain exactly how.
“So, you’re awake are you?” a deep voice rumbled. “I was wondering when you’d be up. We’ve been back up on the surface for almost thirty standard minutes now.”
The voice was familiar somehow…Braxx, she suddenly realized. That’s right—he’s carrying me. I must have fallen asleep.
But if she had, she must still be dreaming. Because she could see the worry etched on the right side of his face—which was the side she could see, since he was holding her and her head was pressed to his right shoulder. And his eyes—they were golden.
The same color as honey, she thought staring into the right one. His hair was thick and black and the lines of his face were stern but very handsome. In fact, he was freaking gorgeous.
Wow, Molly thought a touch uneasily. And I asked him to bond me to him. But look at him—he’s way out of my league—isn’t he?
It had been a long time since she’d measured others by their physical attractiveness and even longer since she’d seen her own face, so she didn’t know. But though she’d been pretty enough at sixteen, she was twenty years older now. And she’d never been model-gorgeous, like the big Kindred who was carrying her.
Maybe he didn’t want to bond her to him because she wasn’t pretty enough for him…
Then he turned his head down to look at her and his entire face came into view.
“Molly, are you all right?” he asked, frowning.
Her only answer was a gasp of surprise.
The right side of his face was flawless and perfect…which only made the left side look worse. It was twisted with scar tissue—in fact, the skin almost looked melted.
Without thinking, Molly reached up a hand to touch those terrible scars, her eyes wide.
“Braxx,” she breathed. “What happened to you?”
His own eyes widened…and then narrowed. Abruptly he sat her on her feet, putting her away from him.
Molly stumbled and nearly fell but he made no move to catch her as he had in the Depths. In fact, he took a step back, putting even more distance between them.
“Braxx?” she asked again. “What—?”
“So you can see,” he said harshly. “I thought you told me your sight was fading?” He sounded almost accusatory, as though her new vision was some kind of a crime.
“I thought it was,” Molly exclaimed. “I mean, it was fading in the darkness and I thought…” Her words trailed off as the full impact of what she was saying suddenly hit her. “I can see,” she whispered, looking around her with fresh wonder. “Braxx, I can really see. Not just blobby gold and red heat vision—I can actually see everything now!”
“So I gathered,” he said shortly, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
“I thought I was dreaming,” Molly whispered, still staring around the unfamiliar alien landscape. “Because of all the colors being wrong. But they’re not wrong for Tal’os Trenta.” She shook her head. “How did this happen? It must have to do with the Cha’llah—with being so close to it and having my crystal, uh, recharged. Do you think?”
“Possibly.” He shrugged as though it was of little consequence.
“But is it really real?” Molly murmured to herself. She had to be sure. She looked up at him again. “Pinch me.”
“What?” He frowned at her fiercely. “Why would you ask me to do such a thing?”
“To make sure I’m not dreaming.” Molly pinched herself, not waiting for him, and gave a little yip of pain. “Ouch! It’s true—I’m awake.”
“Congratulations,” Braxx said shortly. “Now that we have established that, maybe we can get back to the village.”
“Hey…” She put a hand on his arm. “What is it? What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy for me—I can see—really see—for the first time in over twenty years!”
“I’m very pleased for you,” he growled, not sounding a bit pleased. “Come, we need to get to the village before nightfall. We have been underground for many hours.”
He started off again, walking so quickly Molly had to trot to keep up with him. His surly attitude surprised and hurt her. Why was he so angry at her? Because it was clear to her that he was—the big Kindred was bubbling with fury and hurt, just under his stony surface.
“Hey,” she said, coming up on his left side and touching his arm. “Braxx, come on, please…”
“What do you want?” He strode on, his chin lifted as he stared straight ahead, not looking at her.
“Did…did I hurt you with my question earlier about your…” Molly made a motion with her hand to her own face, trying to think how to put it.
“About my face, do you mean? About the hideous, disfiguring scars I wear?” He stopped suddenly and leaned down, pushing his face into hers. “Take a good look, Molly—I know you want to. Everyone does—they stare and stare when they think I’m not looking and then they drop their eyes like cowards the moment they see me noticing their interest.”
Molly felt taken aback but she tried not to show it.
“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to be gentle. “I truly didn’t mean to hurt you, Braxx. I thought I was in the middle of a really, uh, strange dream. I didn’t know this…” She waved a hand. “Didn’t know any of this was real. And, well…I was startled when I saw you, because you’d never given me any indication that, um…”
“That I looked like a monster?” he demanded.
“No, I would never—”
“A monster,” he repeated. “Do you know that little children sometimes start crying at the sight of me? And I don’t fucking blame them!”
“Oh, Braxx…” She reached for him but he pulled away.
“No. I don’t want your pity or your disgust.”
“I’m not disgusted, just surprised,” Molly protested. “But this doesn’t have to change anything between us. Braxx, please—was it the crash you told me about? Is that when…when it happened?”
But he seemed completely unwilling to talk about it anymore.
“Come,” he said shortly, pulling away from her. “We have a long way to go.”
And that was the last thing Molly was able to get from him until they reached the village.
* * * * *
Braxx strode along, his heart aching and sore in his chest. The left side of his face felt as though someone had dipped it in lead—as though it was a weight pulling him down to the bottom of a pond of pure misery.
He knew he was behaving badly but he couldn’t seem to help it. He ought to be happy for Molly—she had regained her sight entirely—she could truly see for the first time since the terrible accident which had stolen both her sight and her parents. She was healed.
Where is my healing, though? whispered a bitter little voice in the back of his head. I gave up any chance I might have had to be rid of these scars once and forever—gave it up for her.
Deep down, he knew he didn’t regret it—didn’t regret going through the living Cha’llah to get to her. Hell, he would do it again if he had to. But it was hard to stomach the fact that his sacrifice had actually lost him the woman he loved.
Because why would she want to be with him now? How could she now that she had seen his face—really seen it—and knew what he looked like?
She’ll never want to be with me again, he thought, his stride fast and angry as he made his way to the village of the Top Dwellers. It will be Danella all over again. She won’t want to be seen with me, won’t want anyone to think she’s mine. She won’t want to belong to a monster—what woman would?
It was over now—any hope he’d had of claiming her as his own and forming a life with her had died the moment she asked what had happened to his face. He had nothing but a life of misery and loneliness to look forward to.
The Wise One had said he would have to lose his last hope in order to get Molly back from the depths and she had been right. His last hope indeed. He had given it up and now he knew it wasn’t the hope of being healed that he had lost…it was the hope of having Molly as his mate. The Cha’llah had taken it from him. It was gone and there was no getting it back.
Behind him, Molly was nearly running to keep up but Braxx didn’t slow his pace a bit. As long as he kept in front of her, she wouldn’t have to look at the scarred and mangled ruin of his face.
That was the way Braxx wanted it and so he walked on, his heart heavy and sore, wishing he had died in the crash that had taken his brother. Wishing he had never met her.
Wishing he had never been born.