“His mom walked in?” Pete looked aghast.

“He’s 20-something years old and doesn’t have a lock on his door?” Rex asked.

“Now you’re sleeping with Religious Frat Boy?” asked Lucas.

Karl threw himself down on the sofa, his head back, eyes wide. “Oh god, guys. It’s everything I used to fear as a teen. You have never seen a dismount as fast as Burns’. I’m just glad we had our clothes on.”

It had been a close one, though. She’d knocked twice, giving them just enough time to sit up and smooth down hair, before barging in.

Pete looked skeptical. “So wait, you’re telling us that his mom dismissed you because it was Baby Boy’s lunchtime?”

“She senses something,” said Karl. “I’m the enemy after all. Burns tried to tell her we were about to go get lunch, but what could he do, really?”

“He could remind her he isn’t six,” said Lucas. “Let me get this straight. You and this guy are an item now?”

Karl groaned. “I hate that. It pushes this idea that relationships are merchandise to be—”

“Sorry, don’t care about merchandise,” said Lucas. “What I’m trying to understand is why it was bad his mom walked in.”

“Because it was the dude’s mom,” said Pete.

But Lucas was looking at Karl. “Is it because it’s embarrassing to be walked in on? Or is it because she doesn’t know he’s gay?”

“A little of both, I’m sure.”

“Uh-huh. So you’re dating a closet case.”

Karl had been trying to forget that part of it. “It’s not a problem,” he said. “There’s some family issues to get through, then he’ll—”

“Family issues?” said Lucas. “I’d say that lying to your family about your orientation is a pretty big issue, yeah.”

“He’s worried about hurting them,” Karl pointed out.

“Hurting them?” Lucas shook his head. “Dude. Has Simon heard about this?”

“I’ve been avoiding Simon.”

“Because you know he’s not going to like you dating this guy.”

Karl closed his eyes. “Actually because I bombed my job interview at Cray Reliable. He’ll hear about it soon enough. I just needed some time to recuperate.”

Lucas scoffed. “The fucking Crays complicate our lives again. What do you honestly think he’s going to say?”

“That I sabotage every chance I have at a job—”

“About Burns,” said Lucas. “What is he going to say about you risking your stupid heart on a guy who can’t even fess up to loving you?”

Karl looked around the room. “Why is this a big deal? Pete? Rex? You’d date a guy who hadn’t come out yet, wouldn’t you?”

Rex sat next to Karl on the couch, a concerned look on his face. “If one of us had come in asking that same question, you would be giving us a lecture about the evils of the closet.”

“I wouldn’t—”

“Dude!” said Pete, “you’d be yelling about fucking heteropatriarchy or some shit! Or like, this is how the greeting card industry invented straight people!”

Rex patted Karl’s ankle. “I think what we’re trying to say is, you believe in openness and honesty. But suddenly—really suddenly—you’ve developed a blind spot about it where Burns is concerned. We’re just worried you’re going to get hurt, that’s all.”

Karl wished Simon was here. At least he could trust Simon’s advice.

Didn’t the guys see it was different with Burns? Burns wasn’t trying to hurt him. He was trying to protect everyone around him.

Protect them all from what, though? He’s gay, not radioactive.

Karl sat up on the sofa. “What are we playing tonight?”

Lucas glared at him. “Sounds like one of us is already playing games.”

“I think we ought to wait for Simon to get here,” said Rex, checking his watch. “He’ll be sad if we start without him.”

“Why even have game night?” asked Lucas. “The minute Simon gets here, we’re all going to end up talking about Karl’s tunnel-vision. If he’s not willing to admit something as basic as you can’t date a closet guy, then I’m not sure I want to be around for that conversation.”

“But it’s your house!” said Pete. “You can’t unilaterally cancel game night! We have to vote!”

Karl rolled his eyes. “Christ, Lucas. I’ll remember this if you ever get involved in a relationship. Not that it seems fucking likely.”

“I wish we could lower the tension a little,” said Rex.

“Don’t worry about the tension,” said Karl. “I’m going home. When you guys decide that I’m allowed to have someone in my life, let me know.”

* * *

“Your Big Gay Camping Trip was…actually a big gay camping trip?” asked Simon, surprise evident on his face.

At least Karl didn’t have to be home alone. Simon had called him to ask how the interview went. He must have heard how upset Karl had sounded in his halting, hesitating answer, because he’d immediately offered to come over.

“Don’t you want to hear about the interview?” Karl asked him.

“I do, but wow. I wasn’t expecting to find out you and Burns are a thing now.”

Karl was cleaning. That seemed like a rational thing to do while upset. He’d already gotten most of the dirty clothes out of the living room, and now he was shelving books. “It sucked, Simon. I’m not going to get the job.”

“Oh, that’s just nerves talking.”

Then Karl told him the story of this morning. Simon’s eyes just kept getting wider and wider, until finally it looked like he was going to do ocular damage to himself if he were any more surprised.

“Jay was the woman you pissed off at Perky Pete’s?”

“I assure you, if I’d known she was going to have my fate in her hands, I would’ve gotten her stupid syrup right.”

“How do you manage to mess things up so badly every time?” Simon asked, then he raised his hand. “That was rhetorical, don’t answer.”

“Very funny. Meanwhile your damn friends have got me so uncertain about Burns, I don’t know what to do.”

“One crisis at a time,” said Simon. “Jay is a reasonable woman. Formidable but reasonable. I’m sure if I asked her—”

“She yelled at me.”

Simon’s brow furrowed. “At the coffee shop?”

“No, at Cray. I was trying to apologize, and she yelled.” He pushed another book onto the shelf, where it thunked into place. “I don’t think she’s going to give me a sterling recommendation.”

“Evan’s not going to like that,” said Simon.

“Please don’t get your rich boyfriend involved,” said Karl. “I’ve had enough humiliation for one day, without Mr. Trust Fund intervening on my behalf.”

“She can’t yell at you. That’s really unprofessional.”

“I’m getting damn whiplash from the day,” said Karl. He picked up a newspaper and put it into the recycling bin. “First I’m devastating because I fuck up a job interview. Then I’m on top of the world because the guy I love, loves me back. Then I’m right back in the fucking toilet because your friends don’t approve.”

Simon tsked. “They’re your friends too. They’re just looking out for you.”

“Maybe I need people to stop looking out for me so much. If Evan tries to save the day and get me a job, nobody is going to take me seriously at Cray. If the guys insist that Burns and I can’t be together unless he has some huge coming-out announcement, then it’s like I’ve got to keep two secrets, and I hate that.”

If there was anything else he hated, it was that look of sympathy that Simon got sometimes. The Sensitive Older Brother Look. Oh, I’ve seen a lot in the couple of years I have on you, and in my wise opinion…

Simon had that look now. “What do you think ought to happen with Burns?”

“I think he ought to tell his family, and stop keeping a secret. It’s killing him inside, and it’s not going to get any easier now that we’re involved.”

“Makes sense. So why don’t you tell him that?”

“Simon, it’s not my family. It’s not my secret to tell. He’s not unaware that it’s a problem. He just needs some time to work it out.”

“Okay, and I’m not trying to be negative here, but what happens if he doesn’t work it out? What happens if he can’t bring himself to tell them?”

If I had a vacuum, I’d start vacuuming now so I couldn’t hear this conversation. As it was, the room was about as clean as he could get it, so he sat down. “I don’t know, Simon. This isn’t something I planned to happen. It just…happened.”

“You really love him?”

“I think I do, yeah. Being around him makes me so happy.”

Simon sighed. “I understand why the guys are worried. The happier you are now, the further you have to fall if anything goes wrong.”

Karl leaned forward in his chair. “You were freaked out over Evan, as I recall. You felt like it was a forbidden relationship, and it had you spooked.”

“I see where you’re going with this,” said Simon. “But Evan was being bullied by his uncle. Burns isn’t really being bullied by anyone, is he? Other than his own fear?”

Did Reverend Ron count as a bully? He certainly seemed to have far more of a hold over Burns’ life than he should. The way his mom doted on the preacher, the way they were pushing Delia on Burns. It was definitely weird.

He didn’t feel like he could tell Simon about all that, though.

“I’ll deal with it, okay?” he said to his brother.

“You know, you can ask for my help,” Simon said. “You don’t have to do everything yourself. This job, this thing with Burns…”

“I don’t need the help, but thank you,” said Karl.

What I need isn’t help. What I need is to see Burns again. He’s the only one who can really understand all this.