If he’d had any sense, he would have gone to Karl’s when they got home. Option A, go home with not-a-boyfriend for lots of sex. Option B, go home to the folks.

Because he was stupid, he chose the second one.

“You sure?” Karl had asked, and he’d nodded.

“I need some sleep.”

“I have a bed.” But Karl must have sensed Burns getting tense about it, because he didn’t ask again.

Oh hey mom and dad you’ll never guess what part of me got sucked in a homosexual way last night!

The house was quiet when he walked in. They were doubtlessly still at church, listening to Reverend Ron line up all the sinners and nudge them into the fiery pit.

Everything seemed different in the house. All the furniture tinged with a different light. A trick of the mind. He ran his finger across the back of his dad’s tweedy recliner. Was the house different? Was he? He was the same man he’d been yesterday, in every single way, except one.

He unpacked his stuff, throwing his laundry into the washer but putting it on delay so he could grab a shower before it stole the hot water.

The water was perfect, and he made it maybe ten seconds before reaching for his cock. No leisurely stroke this time. His hand was fast and to the point, picturing Karl moving over him. If only he’d been able to see last night, to have the real visual memory of getting sucked off by his best friend.

He looked up, and water beat against his face, splashing into his eyes and mouth.

His hand fell away, he took a step back, he gasped.

Holy shit I almost died.

Visions of Karl were replaced by his memory of being underwater, the blue-green glow of everything around him, struggling with his heavy pack. Tight cheeks as he held his breath, the weight on his chest growing ever greater until—

He put a hand against the wall to steady himself. Am I just going to have flashbacks now? Is that how it is? His breath was coming hard, heaving out of him.

Dude, straighten up.

He was not going to have flashbacks. This was not going to bother him. He’d fallen in the water, had a scare, but the buddy system saved him, the way it was supposed to.

His cock had shriveled, and he found he was no longer super-interested in jacking off. It was time to be strong. After all, any minute now his parents would be home, and he’d have to figure out how to live this new life, this new secret. It was one thing to be in the closet, quite another to hide his feelings for Karl from them too.

Or you could just tell them.

Except you don’t have feelings for Karl. You’re friends. Uncomplicated. Best buds that happen to suck each other off. It’s not even a problem.

* * *

“Did you have a good time, dear?” asked his mother, pecking his cheek. He was at the kitchen table, the Sunday sports section open in front of him.

It was mostly drowning and blowjobs.

“Yeah, it was great. Karl knew of this lake up by—”

“We had the best time at services today. At first I wasn’t sure about that Delia, but Reverend Ron called her up to sing, and she has the voice of an angel! She sang Just As I Am—all six verses!”

“She could’ve stopped at the first one, if you ask me,” said Burns’ dad, stealing the sports section from Burns. “You’re not reading that anymore are you?”

“We got to visit a little with Ron and Delia after the service,” said his mom. “I think you made a very big impression on her. She looked quite the lady today, in a cream-colored dress, with all those awful tattoos covered up, and her eyes didn’t have all that black around them.”

Not that he had time to think about it, but the idea that Delia had an entirely different look for church seemed to hold some kind of importance. Was she hiding, too? Just something to tuck away into the back of his mind.

“You catch anything, son?” asked his dad.

“Nah. Nothing biting.”

“You don’t want anything that lived in those quarries anyway. Nothing up there but toxic waste.”

“But Tommy,” said his mom, “she did ask where you were this morning, and seemed disappointed that you weren’t coming to church on Sundays.”

“All right, mom.”

“Nothing in that water but mercury and arsenic,” said his dad.

“I hope not,” said Burns. “I fell in yesterday.”

“Fell in?” said his mother with a gasp.

“Luckily Karl fished me out.”

“Didn’t swallow any of it, did you?” asked his dad. “Probably shortened your life by six months.”

“Oh dear, I knew you shouldn’t have been going up there. Why won’t you go to a nice safe place to fish?”

Guess what else I did while camping?

How weird, that there was this thing he couldn’t say to them.

Maybe it wasn’t weird. After all, he probably wouldn’t tell them about how he’d had to piss against a tree this morning. Maybe his time with Karl was like that. Just something that happened to everybody, but nobody talked about it, because of manners.

You’re kidding yourself.

He tried to silence his inner voice.

His mother was bustling around, getting leftovers ready for lunch. “Reverend Ron hinted very strongly that it was time for you to ask Delia out,” she said.

“What did Delia say to that?”

“She just smiled. I think she took a shine to you the other night. It was a shame about that food poisoning. I wish you two could have talked longer. You’re not still sick, are you?”

“Fit as a fiddle,” said Burns.

“We told the Reverend that you would call her to ask her out today,” said his mother.

“You what?”

“Just call the girl,” said his dad. “Won’t kill you. She’s all right, for a college girl. You know the kind. Too smart for her own good. Like that friend of yours. Hell, maybe Karl should date her.”

“Thomas,” said his mother icily. “Delia is meant for Tommy and Tommy alone.”

That old familiar constriction in his chest tightened his ribs, like a great serpent had wrapped its coils around him. Like the serpent from the garden of Eden, taunting him with forbidden knowledge…but this time being honest about the consequences.

You will lose these people if they ever know, whispered that voice. Everything you’ve ever known or loved will simply fall away, evaporate, and you will be completely alone. You think Karl will keep you around after that? You think he’ll love you? Nobody loves a loser, Tommy Burns. Time to shape up.

“I’m not asking her on a date,” he said.

“But we saw you talking the other night! Sparks flew!” said his mom.

“Sparks did not fly.”

“You’re going to call her.”

He furrowed his brow. “What is that, an order?”

“It most certainly is! You have been moping around this house ever since you got back from college. I haven’t seen you on a single date since you’ve been back. All you ever do is hang around with that boy Karl, and I don’t think that’s healthy for you at all.”

It’s getting healthier.

“It’s fine, Mom. I’ll find someone, someday. Don’t worry about it.”

She closed the refrigerator door and shook her head. “Absolutely not. I won’t take no for an answer. I promised the Reverend that you would call, and that’s like promising God, young man. So you march right over to that phone, pick it up, and call Miss Delia.”