Two days of hell…

…of loneliness...

…of starvation from Charlie.

I enter Happy Daze Tavern on Monday for the Single Dad's Club and there she is behind the bar. Should she be on her feet this much?

I approach the bar like a skittish dog from a shelter. She's going to bite my head off, I know it. And I’ll let her because I deserve it.

“Charlie.”

She puts her hand up in the air. “I'm working.”

My shoulders sag.

“Come on. Can we talk on your break?”

“Nope. Would you like a drink?” She never makes eye contact with me.

“No, I want you.”

“You had me, Garrett and you chose to toss me away at the most vulnerable time of my life.” I see those tears resurfacing from the other night and I feel sick inside.

“You guys can use my office.” Dane nods to the back hallway and I'm all for taking the opportunity, but Charlie moves on to the next customer.

“Looks like you’re gonna have to do a lot more than talk.” He raises his eyebrows. “Remember what I did to get Ava back?”

“Listen, I'm out for the meeting. I need to figure some shit out.”

Dane nods.

“Want some company?”

“Nah, but thanks.”

My chin falls to my chest and I leave Happy Daze Tavern with a better understanding of exactly how much damage I’ve let my fear cause.

* * *

I'm not sure how I end up outside their house, but my truck sits in their driveway and I turn off the ignition.

What am I doing? Asking my ex in-laws for advice?

How can I throw it in their face that I get a second chance—one they'll never get.

The front door opens and Violet stands in the doorway, ushering me in with her hand.

Having no other choice, I step out of the truck. My legs feel like lead weights as I trudge up to the front door.

Her arms open and her small frame hugs me as tight as she can.

“I know.” Two words from her and I'm thankful for that Climax Cove gossip ring because the words won’t have to come out of my mouth. “And it's going to be okay.”

She releases her hold on me and we step into the house, passing all the pictures of Melissa on the way.

“Sit down.” She points the kitchen table.

“Where's Phil?”

She goes to the refrigerator and pulls out the strawberry dessert she thinks I love. I mean it's okay, but one time when I was dating Melissa I raved about it and now I get it at least once a month when I come over. It’s almost as if she’s always got it prepared on the off chance I might stop by.

“He's out doing a few errands.”

She places the dish in front of me, with a heaping spoon of whipped cream piled on top.

“So news traveled fast,” I say.

“I still have my ladies.” She gives me a sad smile and props her elbows on the table. “So, is it true?”

Violet has always treated me like a son. I felt grateful to have the in-laws I did when I married Melissa. It's not like Violet hasn't seen me at my worst.

I nod.

“Oh, Garrett. I know what you’re thinking and you know the odds. It's highly unlikely anything will happen to Charlie.”

I push the plate away from me. “I'm sorry, Violet. I just can't eat.”

She slides it to the side, nodding in understanding.

“When you started dating Charlie, did you think she'd want children?”

This is the laughable moment. I wouldn't doubt if Violet tells me what an asshole I am.

“I got a vasectomy after Melissa died, so when I talked about any future possibility of having kids with Charlie, I thought adoption.”

She nods again. “That would have been the safe bet, right?”

“Exactly. I freaked out when she told me the news, said it wasn't mine.”

She exhales a deep breath and sits back in her chair. “Oh, Garrett.”

“I know.”

I hear the disappointment in her voice.

“Melissa had a heart defect none of us knew about, honey. The same thing isn’t going to happen to Charlie.”

I've talked to the doctors a half dozen times. Always the same thing. Rare. Hardly ever goes undetected that long. Almost never happens. But it happened. To my wife. The woman I loved died while she was bringing our baby into the world. She died on a cold slab of metal in an operating room all by herself.

“You love her.” Tears fill Violet's eyes. “You wouldn't be this worried if you didn't.”

How do you tell the mother of your first love that you would fall apart without the new woman in your life?

“It's okay, Garrett.” She looks around the house. “You know why I keep all these pictures of Melissa up?”

“Because you loved her.”

She nods. “Yeah, but I don't want to forget her. I don't want to forget one memory with her and these pictures help keep those memories from fading.” She leans forward again and places her soft hand on mine. “You’re young and you should find love with someone else. You and Melissa shared a lot of memories, and you'll always have those. But it's okay to make new memories worth remembering.”

“After she died, I used to be able to hear her voice. I'd be able to repeat full phrases she'd say. I would tell Sydney stories all the time about things we'd done and what her mom was like. Her voice is gone now. I remember our time together, but it almost seems like it was in another life.”

“Twelve years is a long time, Garrett.” She squeezes my hand.

“What if—”

“Nope.” She shakes her head and a tear falls down her wrinkled cheek. “You aren't going to think like that. There are no guarantees in life, Garrett. Yes, the chance that something could happen to Charlie during the childbirth is minute, but there's no one hundred percent guarantee. This baby is coming and Charlie will be in that delivery room when your child is born. So, the question remains, do you want to be by her side no matter what, or do you want to be in the waiting room?”

“By her side.” My answer is instantaneous.

She stands taking my dessert with her. “Then I suggest you get out of here and win her back. You’re a lucky man. You somehow found two loves of your life in one lifetime.”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“Did you think you had to love one more than the other?” She looks over her shoulder from the sink.

I did. I know Charlie's worried about being second best to Melissa. I can't deny that I wasn't worried about always comparing the two of them.

“Thanks, Violet.” I stand and place my hands on her shoulders. She pats my hands and I kiss her on the top of the head.

“Go get your girl.”

I close my eyes for a moment and hear Violet's deep intake of breath.

I'm sure this is hard for her too, but she's always been a mother figure in my life.

I walk past all the pictures of Melissa and out the door, my shoulders feeling like a little of the weight and guilt has been lifted.

* * *

I pick up Syd from her friend Sasha's house once I arrive back in Climax Cove.

She hops in the truck and slams the door.

“Do you want to go to dinner?” I ask.

“No.” She crosses her legs and turns toward the window.

“You're not hungry?”

“No.”

“Sydney?”

“What?”

“Oh good, you can say more than just no. I was thinking they turned you into a robot.”

She looks my way with a scowl. “How could you break up with Charlie?”

My head falls back to the headrest of the truck. At least she hasn’t heard about that yet. This time the Climax Cove gossip ring has pissed me off. My daughter should not find out about this from other people.

“It's complicated.”

She swivels to face me and I have to admit, I've seen Sydney mad at me. But this time her eyes are practically shooting fireballs at me.

“What's complicated about the fact that you love her?”

“This is grown up stuff, Syd. I can handle it.”

She huffs. “Doesn't seem like you're handling it very well.”

“Watch the attitude, kiddo.”

I put the truck in reverse and drive through downtown Climax Cove back up to our cabin since she's not hungry. Thinking twice, I make a sharp left and head toward another area. A place I haven’t been too much since Sydney was four. I know she's been here with Violet and Phil, but we’ve never gone together.

We pull into the cemetery and Sydney lets out a long exasperated sigh.

“She's dead, Dad! Charlie is alive and breathing! You have to let Mom go!” she screams.

I'm so caught off guard by her outburst that it takes me a moment to react.

I stop the truck, but Sydney unbuckles her seatbelt and climbs out before I can grab her.

I climb out and follow her down the path.

“Sydney, it's cold. Get in the truck.”

She turns around and starts walking away from me, facing me and walking backward.

“Why do you refuse to live your life? You didn't die with her.” Another woman I love with tears falling from their eyes because of me.

“Just listen.”

“No. I'm done listening. You're going to let a woman who is madly in love with you slip away from you all because you can't get over a dead woman.”

“That dead woman is your mother.” I point to her and she turns around.

I've always worried I never helped Sydney cope with the fact she never knew her mother. When she was younger, she'd show Melissa's picture around and say, ‘This was my mommy. She died’. Now, Sydney never wants to talk about her. I took my cues from her but maybe I should have pressed her to talk about it more.

“Talk to me,” I urge but Sydney's dark hair swings back and forth in front of me while she stomps away.

She stops when she reaches her mom’s gravesite. It’s been years since I’ve been here, but I still remember the tree that sits beside it. Sydney falls to the ground and her hand brushes along the headstone.

“She'd want you to be happy,” she mumbles and I take a seat next to her.

“I know.”

“You found happiness with Charlie and now you're messing it all up.”

This is when I know I did something right with Syd. She'll sit and talk with me.

“I'm going to win her back. I'm worried about losing another young lady I love.”

A small smile forms on her mouth.

“So you admit that you love her?” She glances over at me and I smile.

“Yeah. You happy now?”

“A bit. Are you going to ask her to live with us?” She turns to face me, crossing her legs.

“How would you feel about that?” I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, staring at the lettering of Melissa Shaw carved into stone beside me.

“I know it’ll be weird at first, but she makes you smile, Dad.”

“I smiled before Charlie.”

She quirks her lips and shakes her head. “Not the kind of smiles you do since she’s been around.”

“Really?”

She giggles and nods her head.

“Come here.” I hold my arm out and she slides over to me. Once she's wrapped in my arms, I kiss her temple, still surprised she's so big. “I'm here for you no matter what, okay? I know this is a lot of change.”

She smiles. “I'm ready.”

“You had a good childhood, right?”

She turns my way, her grin showing the straight teeth from her braces. “The best, but it's not over, Dad. You're still stuck with me for six more years.”

“Never stuck. And hey?”

She looks back up to me.

“Don't worry about me. I'm a big boy and I can handle myself.” The thought of her wasting any time worrying about my well-being is unacceptable.

“Charlie's the one, Dad. She's our puzzle piece that’s been missing.”

“How did you get so smart?” I pull her closer and to my relief, she doesn't pull away.

“You and Mom.” I nod, closing my eyes briefly.

“Thanks for being such a great daughter. Some girls wouldn't be so understanding about bringing a new woman into our house.”

She shrugs. “Thanks for asking me if it was okay. Some dads wouldn't even care what their daughter thought.”

We sit for a while, the cold chilling our bones and before we leave, I watch Sydney kiss her fingers and run them over the headstone.

Sydney walks away toward the truck, leaving me alone. After reading her headstone one more time, I rest my hand on the cold granite.

Peace settles over me with my decision to move on and when I walk away from her, the guilt and fear fade away with each step, and I swear I feel Melissa’s memory loosen its grip on me.

Now I just need to convince Charlie that I’m done with the fear and that I may be a world-class idiot, but she has to take me back.