CHAPTER 17
Evan
I mindlessly flip through the TV channels, not really looking for anything in particular and doing nothing more than killing time while Emma gets ready. The Phoenix record label is springing for my suite at The Beverly Hills Hotel for the four nights we’re here in Los Angeles. This has made Tyler immeasurably happy because, by his reasoning, if the label is willing to spend that type of money to put me up, that means they’re going to be willing to negotiate the terms of their offer.
Which is causing me indigestion when I think about it, and I hope that it goes away soon, because I’m taking Emma out to dinner tonight. It will be our first real date as we’ve not had time during the tour to do anything because our timeline was so structured and packed tight. But we’ve got four nights here and nothing on the agenda for tonight, so I’d made up my mind I was going to take her out, regardless of the shitty look I got from Tyler when I told him my plans.
We’d had a brief meeting with the Phoenix execs at lunch today, where they schmoozed Tyler, Emma, and me and we talked in generalities about the offer. I didn’t say much, but Emma and Tyler had plenty to say on my behalf, and it was actually a little embarrassing the tack that Tyler was taking. Emma had sound questions about the terms and wording of clauses. Things an attorney would look for, and she challenged them where appropriate. I was actually quite proud of her, and I don’t even think she realizes the strides she’s made as an attorney in the past few weeks. Yes, she still loves to bury her face in a nice contract, but her ability to effectively advocate for me is amazing.
Tyler, on the other hand, spent time on the portions of the contract that we knew were of great benefit to me, basically kissing ass in appreciation for those things. It couldn’t have been any clearer to the execs in that room that Tyler wanted me to sign with Phoenix and that Emma was taking a more middle-of-the road approach. As such, the execs paid more attention to what Tyler was saying than what Emma was saying, figuring he’d have more of my ear than her given our history together.
By the end of the lunch, Tyler was ready to jump at the offer, but I made it clear to them I wanted to discuss this with Tyler and Emma and that we would get back to them with a potential counter offer. I made it extremely clear that I wasn’t going to accept the contract as is, but they didn’t seem all that put out by it.
As we were walking out of the restaurant to the limo that was taking us back to The Beverly Hills Hotel, Tyler was almost hopping around like a puppy on amphetamines and frankly a little buzzed on the drinks he’d partaken of. When we got in the limo, things got a little uncomfortable.
“Dude,” Tyler said as he settled back into the seat across from Emma and me. His eyes were a little glassy. “You and I need to meet on this tonight. We’ll order room service or something; go over everything again and decide how to go back at them.”
Again, he was rudely excluding Emma from those discussions.
I was shaking my head before he even got all the words out. “Not tonight. I’m taking Emma out to dinner.”
Of course, Emma’s head snapped my way as this was news to her. I just smiled back at her and shrugged my shoulders. “Taking you out on a real date.”
Her eyes sparkled and she gave me a huge smile, both of us completely oblivious to the anger brewing across the way from us.
“You got to be fucking kidding me,” Tyler said as he leaned forward and glared at me. “We don’t have time for that crap. This is way more important than taking your current squeeze out.”
My head turned slowly toward Tyler, and he shrank back from the thunderous look on my face. I literally felt Emma almost shrink inward over being referred to as my “current squeeze”. My voice was low and hard, but well controlled when I said, “I’m going to assume that the three vodka tonics you had at lunch is what’s responsible for what you just said, but in case it’s not, and it’s just because you’re an asshole, I’m warning you… you better back the fuck off where she’s concerned.”
Yeah… the limo ride was uncomfortable after that. Emma wasn’t sitting that close to me, but she scooted even further away to look out the window as we drove down Sunset Boulevard. Tyler didn’t apologize but he didn’t say anything else, settling down into a sulk.
And I sat there and fumed over his behavior, disgusted with how badly he wanted this deal with Phoenix. It appalled me and frankly, it hurt, because he knows damn well it’s not in line with what I want as an artist. But he’s letting money take over his reasoning and that’s become more important to him than my happiness. I imagine that might happen with a lot of managers or agents, but it fucking grates since Tyler’s my friend first and foremost.
Or at least I thought.
I hear the bathroom door open, and Emma appears from the short hallway that separates the living area of the suite from the master bedroom. Just the sight of her and I let all of those nasty feelings go, deciding there’s no room for that shit tonight.
Tonight, it’s about that woman right there.
I push up from the couch and walk to her. She stands there nervously chewing on her lip as I approach, and while she’s definitely come out of her shell a lot, I still dig that part of her that’s still a bit repressed and unsure.
Taking her hands, I do a slow perusal down her body. She’s wearing a simple black, sleeveless dress that’s cut low in the front and even lower in the back. It hugs her body, comes just above her knees, and she’s paired it with those same strappy sandals I made her keep on her feet that first time we fucked on that glass table. They’re kind of sentimental to me now.
“You look amazing,” I tell her when my eyes come back up to meet hers.
And she’s just Emma.
She blushes and drops her gaze.
My hand goes to her chin, raises it up so she looks at me, and I ask her, “You have no idea, do you?”
“About what?” she whispers.
“How beautiful you are?”
“I’m not—”
“So fucking beautiful,” I cut her off. “So goddamn sexy, and you haven’t a fucking clue, which makes you all the more sexy and beautiful. You don’t need makeup or fancy clothes. You just have this thing going on that makes your type of beauty absolutely untouchable.
“Evan—” she breathes out shakily in almost an admonishing tone that I’d pay her such compliments.
So I kiss her to shut off whatever self-deprecating remark she was getting ready to make. I kiss her long enough and slow enough that she forgets whatever she was about to say to me.
♦
“You know, this is the first date I’ve been on in a really, really long time,” I tell Emma as I push the dessert plate way from me. I’m fucking stuffed and mellow.
She grins at me as she toys with her crème brûlée. “That’s because you’ve been only doing anonymous one-night stands, right?”
I laugh, because she’s silly, but then tell her, “Emma… just because that was my lifestyle doesn’t mean it was the one I wanted. It’s hard to find a connection with someone when you’re in this business. Everyone wants something from you, and it’s hard to find genuine people. So sometimes, it’s just easier to put that barrier up and not try to get to know someone.”
“Sounds lonely,” she observes.
“Hasn’t felt that way the last few weeks.”
She blushes.
So Emma.
Her gaze drops to her dessert again, and she plays around with punching the end of her spoon through the caramelized crust. Without looking back up at me, she says, “This thing between us… I’m not sure I understand it.”
“What do you mean?”
With a sigh, she puts her spoon down and looks across the table at me. “This is just weird. I mean… you’re this famous rock star, and I’m this nobody little attorney who really doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, and honestly, Evan… there is just no reason you should be interested in someone like me. You need like a super model or something on your arm.”
“I like who I have on my arm just fine,” I tell her.
She doesn’t believe me. I can see it in her eyes. “But… it’s just sex, right? I mean, you saw a girl who I suppose you’re attracted to and we’re sharing space together, and you got me to take a risk. And well… we had sex, and it’s just an adventure, right? That’s what you told me that first night. For me to do something crazy and impulsive, and well… I did. And we’re still doing it, and I’m not sure what this is now.”
God… she’s adorable and pathetic at the same time, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just that Emma can’t quite seem to understand that she’s very intriguing just as she is, and any guy would be amazingly lucky to have a crack at her. She also seems to forget… I’m just a dude too. I write and play rock music for a living, but that’s not all there is to me.
“So, you know Midge has never been married, right?” I tell her in an abrupt change of subject, but to something that is ultimately relevant.
She blinks at me in surprise and slowly says, “I think I heard that.”
“Sad, really,” I say with a nod. “She was in love with the founding partner of Knight & Payne and they had a passionate affair, but he was married and wouldn’t leave his wife. When he died, she never again found love.”
Emma’s eyes soften. “That’s so sad.”
“Totally sad,” I agree with her. “And I grew up spending a great deal of time with Midge. Weekends, summers, and holidays when my parents were traveling. I got an up close and personal view of what a woman looks like who has the capacity to love but doesn’t have what she wants.”
Emma doesn’t say anything, but she looks completely lost. So I enlighten her.
“You remind me of Midge. Granted, you don’t have the sad tale of a doomed affair—at least I don’t think you do from what I know—but you’re a woman who’s actually built for a wild and passionate relationship. You’re about as genuine as it gets, and I’m not quite sure why you could even doubt that I would be interested in that. Why you don’t think I deserve that?”
“Evan—”
“I’ve watched Midge pine after a man who was dead my entire life, because she was afraid to take another risk,” I continue. “And I think it’s because she honestly didn’t think she was worth anything more. She wasn’t good enough for the man she loved to leave his wife. So she buried herself in her work and behind books and behind a closed office door to become a virtual recluse—and you know I’m right about that—because she didn’t want to take the risk again. She was a very lonely woman.”
“But she—”
“So when I told you to take a risk and do something daring and impulsive,” I say, coming to my conclusion. “It wasn’t just so I could fuck you. That was going to happen one way or the other. But it was so that you would open yourself up entirely to something you probably deserve and would never have the guts to reach out for.”
Emma stares at me a moment, her face inscrutable. I wait for her to process, and for her to understand, that this isn’t just sex to me.
She lowers her eyes to her wineglass, perhaps contemplates another sip, but then gives a cough to her throat and looks back to me. “You said you think I deserve something,” she says hesitantly. “But I don’t have the guts to reach for it.”
“That’s right.”
“And that something would be you?” she asks for clarification.
“I’m a fucking phenomenal catch,” I tell her with a grin.
“And this is more than just sex to you?” she adds on, because she’s still not quite ready to believe.
“Not going to lie,” I tell her with a wink. “The sex is beyond amazing. But yeah… it’s a bit more than that for me.”
Emma takes a deep breath and when she lets it out, she smiles at me. “Okay, then. I’ll reach for it.”
“That would be me you’re reaching for, right?” I tease her, but my lungs sort of seize up as I realize just how important her answer is.
“It would be you,” she says with a laugh, and suddenly, I can breathe easy again.