CHAPTER 21
Evan
The doors of the bus hiss open, and I look up from the book I’m reading. My down time since Emma left sucks, and I’m trying to fill it with something to broaden my horizons. As such, I’m just starting one of her books she left behind called Marley & Me. It’s about a dog and that’s all I know, although Emma told me it should give me greater understanding into Sirius and his puppy antics.
My gaze goes briefly to the big, furry dog lying on my feet at the end of the couch, and I begrudgingly admit he’s growing on me even though he ate the corner of the bedroom mattress yesterday.
I tilt my head far to the left to look over my shoulder and see Tyler coming onto the bus. My body immediately goes tense with unease, and I hate that I fucking feel this way in his presence now. Our conversations are fairly limited, usually before each show, but otherwise we stay out of each other’s way, communicating by text if necessary. Emma’s been gone two days and this is the first time I’ve seen him.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying to force civility into my tone. I think I manage it because Tyler gives me a hesitant smile.
“Got time to talk?” he asks, pausing just at the top of the stairs.
“Sure,” I say as I draw my legs out from under Sirius, who gives a grunt and doesn’t even wake up. I swing them to the side and sit upright on the couch, giving a nod to one of the leather swivels across from me.
Turning the book upside to save my place, I watch as Tyler takes a seat. He leans back, puts an ankle on his knees, and drums his fingers nervously on the leather wrapped armrests.
“How’s Emma’s dad?” he asks, and I’m slightly surprised by the genuine tone in his question. Usually any question or comment about Emma is short and clipped.
“He’s doing very well,” I tell him. “Got out of the hospital yesterday and is taking a week or so off from work, but he’s expected to be just fine.”
Tyler nods. “That’s good. I’m glad.”
There’s a bit of an awkward silence, and we just stare at each other. Tyler fidgets under my gaze for a moment, then seems to gather some courage. He wraps his fingers around the edges of the armrests and pulls himself up into an upright position. Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees and looks me right in the eye, a move that indicates this is a serious conversation.
I brace.
“We need to clear the air,” he says simply, and I tense even further. “And in order to do that, I think I need to give you an apology.”
A jolt of surprise causes me to sit up a little straighter. “Apology?”
“Yeah,” he says, his gaze absolutely unwavering. “I’ve obviously come on too strong about the Phoenix deal, and because I was so focused on it and excited, I think I may have taken out my aggressions on Emma. So I need to apologize to you about that, and of course, to Emma when she comes back. She is coming back, right?”
I nod, still a little off kilter by this abrupt turnabout in Tyler’s attitude. “Yeah… once she feels her dad’s okay enough to be by himself.”
I smile inside at that little joke, because her dad is not by himself. He’s got both Midge and Emma hovering over him, and I bet he’s eating that shit up.
Tyler leans backward, rubs his hand over his jaw. “While the apologies are well warranted, I did want to talk a little bit more about the Phoenix deal.”
And just like that, I tense back up. Not because I think Tyler has a nefarious intent at this point, as he does seem genuinely remorseful, but because deep down into my soul, I don’t think I really want to sign with a label right now. Still, I think I need to give him this opportunity since he’s coming at me in the correct way right now.
“Alright,” I say with a forced smile. “Let’s talk.”
“I think perhaps I forgot to remember what’s important to you on a personal level,” Tyler begins right away, and instantly some of the anxiety making my chest tight lessens. “I still believe the Phoenix deal is a good move for you, but maybe if we can come at it from the angle of what can we do to make it better on a personal level, maybe we can find some middle ground.”
I wasn’t sure about that, because my understanding is that these contracts are pretty stringent and not overly negotiable. Still, I need to give this some mature thought with Tyler, who seems to be in a more objective frame of mind at this point.
So I try to make this as clear to my friend and manager as I possibly can, and hope to fuck he can really understand it. “Tyler… not everyone who gets that first taste of fame and fortune craves more. Sure, I suppose most people always want to succeed and get better and bigger at what they do, but not everyone feels that way.”
“And you don’t?” he asks with his head tilted and his eyebrows furrowed, clearly perplexed.
Smiling, I shake my head. “I always want to get better, but I’m not sure about bigger. Or richer. Or more famous. Maybe. I just don’t know, and that’s the problem. It’s all so new to me I’m having a hard time trying to figure out what is the best for me on a personal level. But what I do know is that I’m not sure I want to be owned by a label. I’m not sure I’m cut out for that type of life where I’m at their beck and call, and I have to be where they want and when they want it. I have to produce music for them, and not for me. It seems a little plastic feeling to me, you know?”
“You know your deal with Phoenix doesn’t have to be typical,” he offers. “I mean, I’m sure they are willing to give up some of that stuff. With indie music on the rise, they know they have to move with the change in the industry. They have to appease their artists a bit more.”
“Maybe,” is all I can say, because I’m not sure I really trust that sentiment.
“Maybe I should talk to Emma about this,” Tyler muses thoughtfully. “I mean… if I could get her to understand that if we approached Phoenix more from the perspective of these things, she would feel better about the deal.”
“Wait a minute,” I say as I now lean forward and put my hands on my knees. I pin him with a direct look. “Emma isn’t pushing me to stay indie if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“She’s not?” Tyler asks, clearly surprised by this news.
“Fuck no,” I assure him. “She’s done nothing more than advise me about the pros and cons of each. We’ve talked about it a lot, but it’s basically her making sure I understand the legal implications. She won’t take a stand either way, despite me asking her to.”
And that’s the honest fucking truth. She’s refused to tell me what she thinks I should do, point blank insisting it’s not for her to decide and she doesn’t want to sway me. I even tried a different tact with her one night when we were talking about all of this, and asked her, “Well, if you were in my shoes… if this was you with these choices, what would you do?”
She just laughed at me, kissed me on my jaw softly, and said, “That’s the oldest trick in the book, Evan. And I’m not falling for it.”
Minx.
Fuck, I miss her.
Tyler shifts in his chair. As I examine him, I note he looks perplexed. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I just… I guess I just assumed Emma was pushing you to stay indie.”
“Not at all,” I assure him. “She’s only told me to trust my gut and follow my instinct after being clear on all the facts.”
“Huh,” Tyler says, almost in an acknowledging grunt.
“Although honestly, man,” I feel compelled to add on, “if she’d actually give me an opinion, I’d take it seriously.”
“Because she’s your attorney?” he asks for clarification.
“Because she’s that and more,” I tell him firmly.
Tyler gives a nod of understanding, a thoughtful look on his face, but it’s not dismissive of my declaration about Emma. “Understood.”
Things feel okay now although he’s no more enlightened about what my decision will be than when he came in. That’s because I haven’t made my decision. I want to talk to Emma again, and I want it to be face to face, so I’ll wait until she gets here. I’m thinking of perhaps pushing at Phoenix on a counter offer that gives me some more autonomy and control, as well as to make some demands of things I don’t want to do, or I don’t want to do too frequently as it were. I know I’m not going to get away with completely removing myself from all the things that are associated with a label marketing their star.
“Want to go out and grab some lunch?” Tyler asks me as he stands up from the chair.
And you know what? That sounds good. We arrived in Portland from San Francisco in the early morning hours, and I wouldn’t mind seeing a little bit of it before I have to start prepping this afternoon for tonight’s concert. “Yeah… I would actually. Let me grab a quick shower.”
“Okay,” Tyler says as he stands up and gives me a short but soft punch on my shoulder. “Just come grab me on the other bus when you’re ready.”
As soon as Tyler leaves and the doors close again, I grab my phone off the side table at the end of the couch, ruffle Sirius’ head briefly, and then call Emma as I head back to the bedroom to grab some clean clothes.
She answers on the second ring. “Hey stud,” she says softly, and that greeting goes straight to my dick. It’s not dirty in the slightest, but it’s affectionate and speaks to Emma’s ever-increasing ease in flirting with me. While I still enjoy embarrassing the shit out of her, I’m equally turned on by her unexpected endearments.
“Hey,” I say back. “You’ll never guess what?”
“Ed McMahon paid you a visit?” she guesses.
“Who?” I ask, befuddled.
“Never mind,” she says. “So what’s up?”
Shaking my head in amusement, I rifle through the top drawer for some clean underwear. I have no idea how my clothes get cleaned but in every city, Tyler has it arranged for it to occur. All we have to do is put our dirty stuff in a bag and place it by Red’s chair when we arrive in each city. It comes back in a few hours all fresh and clean.
“Tyler was just in here and wanted to talk,” I tell her as I nab a pair of boxers.
“Really?” she asks, sounding surprised. She knows things have not been good between us as she’s heard me grumble about it often enough.
“Really,” I assure her. “And he apologized, and said he was going to apologize to you as well, so don’t be surprised if he calls you. Or he might wait until you get back to do it face to face, not sure.”
“Well, that’s nice,” she says, and she sounds genuinely pleased. “So is everything okay between you two?”
“I think so,” I tell her as I head toward the bathroom, snagging my towel that’s hanging on the doorknob of the small bedroom closet that sits across from the foot of the bed. “I mean, we had a legitimately calm discussion about a label deal, and I think he gets where I’m coming from a bit better. He seems to think that maybe Phoenix could ease a few of my misgivings, but it’s something we can talk about when you get back.”
“Absolutely,” she says brightly, and her confidence and excitement makes me miss her even more.
“And when might that be?” I inquire hesitantly as I enter the bathroom, because while I wish she were back like right now, I also want her to be comfortable in leaving her dad. He’s only been out of the hospital for two days now.
“I’m thinking next Tuesday for your second Chicago show,” she says, and fuck… that’s like six days away. “It’s a short, easy flight and that gives me about another week here to make sure it’s cool that I leave and all.”
I want to tell her that’s unacceptable and that she needs to come now. I know damn well her dad’s in good hands because I’ve talked to Midge a few times and the woman’s a freakin’ goner where Cary Peterson is concerned. While my heart is overflowing with happiness for Midge, I’d also like to get back to my own happiness.
But instead, I play it cool so Emma doesn’t feel pressured and say, “That sounds like a great plan.”
Not really, but I’ll deal.
“Awesome,” she says cheerfully, and then she lowers her voice a little. “And Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got a surprise for you when I get there,” she says huskily.
“What is it?” I demand, pausing my reach to turn the shower on.
She gives a tinkling laugh and teases me, “I’m not telling you, but I might have bought it at Adam & Eve.”
Jesus Fuck. She’s killing me. Absolutely killing me.
“Emma?” I rasp out, my throat dry.
“Yes?” she asks sweetly.
“I really, really miss you,” I tell her truthfully. Painfully from the cock. Deeply from right in the center of my chest.
“I miss you too,” she says softly, and I know the next six days are going to drag by.