Chapter Thirteen
From the texts of Laura Collins and Libby Collins
Libby: Oh my God, are you okay?!
Justin just got off the phone with Brendan. He said you got into a skiing accident after some jerk shoved Chloe onto a double black diamond and you went after her like a crazy, but incredibly sweet and brave and wonderful and selfless, stupid person!
How are you still alive, La?!
Is anything broken?
Can you walk?
Did you have to go to the hospital?
Why didn’t you text me?!! Or call!!?
And why didn’t Brendan give Justin more information?!
And why didn’t Justin ask for more flipping details before he hung up?!
What is wrong with the male of the species, Laura? What’s with the just the facts, cards held close to the chest, no need for backstory crap?
There are times when a phone call needs to last more than two minutes!
ARGH!!
OH MY GOD PLEASE CALL OR TEXT ME BEFORE I FREAK OUT AND JUMP IN THE CAR AND DRIVE EAST UNTIL I FIND YOU, WHEREVER YOU ARE. BRENDAN IS REFUSING TO ANSWER HIS PHONE EVEN THOUGH I’VE CALLED FOUR TIMES! AND JUSTIN IS TELLING ME NOT TO TEXT IN ALL CAPS BUT I CAN’T HELP IT BECAUSE I AM SO WORRIED MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE IS JUST ONE BIG SCREAM-FEST RIGHT NOW.
ARGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I’M SO WORRIED!!!!!!!
Laura: Hey. Relax, sis. No need to freak out.
I’m okay. Just a little foggy.
The doc at the ER gave me some pretty intense painkillers. It’s just a torn MCL, and I should be fine as long as I ice, rest, and use a brace for the first week or two until I see how fast I’m healing. But the guy who checked me out gave me the good drugs, anyway. I zonked out at four o’clock yesterday and slept all the way through until Chloe brought me breakfast in bed this morning.
Libby: Aw, the sweetheart. I bet she was so scared.
Thank God she’s okay. She must be an amazing skier.
Laura: She is. She ended up doing the same run again later that afternoon with Brendan. Brendan’s father-in-law took me to the ER so the rest of the crew could stay and enjoy the day. I didn’t want my injury to wreck the trip for everyone.
Libby: That’s very thoughtful of you. I would have wanted Justin to carry me down the mountain and make a big deal out of babying me and kissing me and telling me he won’t leave my side until I’ve recovered.
But I’m a terrible sick or wounded person.
Laura: Yes, you are.
And Brendan isn’t my boyfriend, so…
Libby: Oh yeah?
That’s not what I heard…
Laura: What? What do you mean, that’s not what you heard?
Libby: Justin said Brendan was asking for romantic mountain lodge recommendations. Ones that aren’t solely focused on skiing, since you clearly won’t be able to ski anytime in the near future.
Laura: Oh, that…
It’s nothing, Libs.
Angie and Steve are insisting on babysitting so Brendan and I can have a “romantic weekend.” They know what a hard time he’s had finding sitters, so they wanted to give us a chance to be alone before we head back to the city.
We had to say yes so they wouldn’t get suspicious about why we don’t want to shack up alone together in a fancy hotel.
Libby: I don’t know. If that’s all it is, why was Brendan so adamant about finding something romantic? His in-laws won’t be at the hotel with you, right?
Laura: Right…
Libby: Right. So they won’t have any idea where you end up going.
You guys could shack up at a Best Western, or drive back to Portland and stay at your own separate houses, for all they know. If Brendan’s looking for real, actual, in the flesh romance, then I think you had better be prepared.
Laura: Hmm…
Libby: What does that mean?
Laura: That means I’m in the car with him right now, on the way to this mysterious, romantic lodge Justin recommended.
Libby: Really! So, ask him!
Ask him what’s up with the romance!
Justin and I need answers! And you guys would be so cute together! And we could double date!
Laura: No, we could not.
Libby: Why not? It would be fun!
Laura: It’s complicated. Trust me.
Libby: It doesn’t have to be.
Come on, don’t be a baby, La. Just ask him what’s up.
You’re good at flirting and stuff. You can get the scoop without it being weird.
Laura: It’s already weird, Libs. You have no idea.
Libby: I have no…
OMG! YOU’VE ALREADY SLEPT WITH HIM!
Laura: Keep your voice down! No caps!
If he looks over at my screen, he might actually be able to read them, psycho!
Libby: okay, okay, but—
omg you’ve already slept with him!!!!!
When? Why? And why didn’t you tell me!?
Laura: Last summer.
For the usual reasons.
And because it was a one-weekend kind of thing.
There was no point in discussing it.
Though, I did sort of mention it that time I warned you about the dangers of sleeping with friends…
Libby: Oh my God! Brendan is the guy who said he wasn’t interested in banging you anymore and made you feel terrible and sad and doubtful about the adorableness of your vagina!
Laura: Yes, but I’m seriously going to turn off my phone if you use that word again. I’ve been injured, Libby. Have some pity on me and lay off the V-word.
Libby: Okay, okay. Though Justin agrees that I should be able to torture you for at least a year or two in retaliation for the time you asked the bikini waxing lady to check to see if there was anything wrong with me down there.
Laura: I did that because I love you!
And because I could tell you had concerns…
Libby: Still a serious violation of privacy, La.
Not to mention the sister code. And probably the law.
Laura: Fine, I won’t do anything nice for you ever again! Happy?
Libby: No. I’ll be happy when you tell me that you and Brendan are getting back together. *heart emoji*
Laura: We were never together in the first place!
And I don’t want a fuck buddy.
So, if he’s planning to take me to some romantic lodge thinking he can woo his way into my pants for another weekend, after I’ve made it clear I’m not interested in sex without feelings, he’s got another thing coming.
Another thing like a stick beaten repeatedly around his big, stupid head.
I’m starting to think I should have taken those crutches from the hospital, after all…
Libby: Okay, I hear you. But what if he’s taking you on a romantic getaway so he can woo his way into your heart!
Laura: Doubtful. Seriously doubtful.
And the more I think about this, the angrier I get…
Libby: Uh oh. Don’t go there, Laura.
The crazy rage spiral is never the answer!
Laura: It’s not a crazy rage spiral if there is a reason for the rage, Elizabeth!
Libby: Well at least make sure there’s a reason first, okay?
And if you and Brendan decide to date, tell him I’m thrilled and that I really like him, but that he had better treat you right or I’m going to make him a big batch of Ex-Lax brownies.
Okay?
Laura?
Are you making sure there’s a reason for the rage spiral?
Just remember that violence is never the answer!
Laura? Laura?