Liam and I spent two hours that night and over five hours the following morning speaking with close to forty of our pack members about relocation. That still left us with more than sixty who wanted to stick around and help in some way. Those willing to fight were checking in with Augie, Rick, and Sam.
Everything was coming together quicker than I thought, but I was tired and easily irritated. I hated that our pack was being forced to split up and that we weren’t actively looking for whoever was working with Declan. Poor Liam had been subject to the brunt of my irritation several times already, and I knew I was pushing my luck, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from taking my aggression out on him.
When the last person left the training room, I stood up from the chair I had been planted in for too many hours. I glanced at Liam, feeling like I should apologize for being a bitch, but I didn’t.
“I’m going for a run. Mind if I meet you back at the house later?” was what I said instead.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You don’t want any company?”
“Not really. I just need an hour and I’ll be back.” Maybe two hours, but it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
“Okay.”
His response was curt, and I knew I had hurt his feelings, but I wasn’t good company at the moment. I needed a minute to breathe and just be me. Not a mate. Not the alpha’s daughter. Not someone’s friend. I just wanted a little bit of time to myself and my wolf. I refused to feel guilty for that.
I headed for the woods and stopped at the small structure where we kept clothes at to undress and leave my stuff. Once everything was put away, I shifted to my wolf form. Bones cracked and transformed as silver fur sprouted on my arms, and my hands turned to paws.
I landed on all fours, immediately stretching out my muscles. My wolf rumbled in satisfaction that it was time for a run, but she was missing Liam.
I know, girl, but we have to maintain our independence. We don’t need him around all the time, I said.
She disagreed with my thoughts but took off running regardless. We ran to the perimeter of the property until we sensed we were getting close to some of the shifters on guard, then made our way back.
I pushed toward the pond and was glad to find it empty when we arrived. The sun was high in the sky as we ventured down to the deck to lay in the sun. I closed my eyes as we soaked in the warm rays, and before I knew it, we were shaken awake.
“Taya, come on,” Augie said. “People are looking for you.”
I shook my wolf head and glanced around. The sun was getting ready to set and the temperature had dropped considerably. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been out there, but it was much longer than I had intended.
I shifted back, and Augie threw me his shirt.
“What time is it?” I asked as I slipped the shirt on.
“Almost seven. Liam came over to the pack house a little bit ago, seeming annoyed, so I told him I’d come find you.”
Shit. I hadn’t meant to be gone for so long. I’d have been livid if I was him and he took off on me.
“Can you take me back to the clothes hut?” I asked. “I need to get my stuff and head home.”
He grinned. “You’re in so much shit when you get home, you know that, right?”
I laughed. “Yeah, probably, but you’re supposed to be my best friend. Don’t take so much joy in my misery.”
He threw his arm around my shoulders. “It’s because I am your best friend that I get to revel in your pain. It’s one of the perks. I thought you knew this.”
I couldn’t argue with him there, and I knew one day I would be enjoying his suffering when he finally met his match. One day, I would get my payback.
We headed to get my clothes and I quickly got dressed. I grabbed my phone last to find six missed calls and four texts. Not all of them were from Liam, but enough of them were to know he wasn’t going to be happy when I got home.
The ATV came to a stop in front of my house and I glanced at Augie. “Do you want to come in?”
He laughed so hard he snorted. “Nope. Go be a big girl and deal with your mate. I’m sure if you explain you were sleeping, he won’t be too upset. Maybe if you… actually, I doubt anything will help you. Good luck.”
I slid out of my seat and flipped him off before heading into the house. Augie spun out on the ATV, making as much noise as possible in his departure. He would pay for being a pain in my ass. Maybe I’d hide some of his books or steal his tablet. He’d be lost without his tablet.
I didn’t get much time to think about it. Liam swung open the door as I stepped on the porch. He gave me a once over.
“Glad to see you’re not hurt, but it would have been nice to know where you’ve been for the last three hours.” He crossed his arms, backing away from the door.
I followed him inside. “I’m sorry. I went for a run and ended up at the pond. I fell asleep under the sun and didn’t wake up until Augie found me.”
“Okay.”
He’d only said it twice today, but I was getting tired of his ‘okay’. It was like a woman’s ‘fine’. Nothing was ever fine.
I pulled out my phone as he got food out for dinner. I answered the text from my dad. He wanted me to come over and train with him, but I didn’t feel like making things worse, so I told him it would have to be the following morning.
He gave me an update on the pack. The first three groups left for their destinations and the vans would be back with more guards. There was no word from any of the outlying packs about sightings of Declan, but people were looking, including our own.
I put my phone away. “Can I help?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “You can cut the peppers.”
I moved in beside him and began helping, but he remained quiet, no matter how many times I tried to make small talk. We finished cooking and ate in silence. It was awkward as shit and he was beginning to piss me off. Yes, I knew I had hurt his feelings, but it hadn’t been intentional. He was purposely giving me the cold shoulder. Not cool, mate. Not cool at all.
It was dark by the time we were done eating. I headed for the couch. Normally, we’d watch a movie or do something together until we were both tired, but not tonight.
“I’m headed to bed,” Liam said. “If you’re not tired, you don’t have to come.”
My eyes bulged. “Do you want to say something to me? I know you’re pissed, but it’s not like I meant to fall asleep.”
He sighed. “We’ve both had a long day. Let’s just get some sleep and deal with it tomorrow.”
I wasn’t in the mood to argue. I let it go and followed him into our room.
By the time I got out of the bathroom, he was in bed, under the covers, and facing the wall. I rolled my eyes at his ridiculousness and got into bed. I stared at the ceiling, crossing my fingers for a resolution the following day. We had just decided to do the blood bond; things couldn’t have gone to shit that fast. Right?
I had assumed after a good night’s sleep, we would be able to work out our issues, but when I woke up the next morning, Liam was gone. He left a note, saying he had some errands to run in town and he’d be back later. Stupid mate.
My mood immediately plummeted as I rolled out of bed, stomping to the shower. No kiss goodnight. No kiss goodbye. He was on my shit list and his life expectancy was getting lower with every passing minute.
I had thought after our conversation about the blood bond that we were moving forward, but apparently, I had read the situation wrong.
I braided my layered hair back out of my face and headed for the pack house. I couldn’t remember what Augie and my dad had on my training schedule for the day, but I hoped it was physical. I had some pent-up aggression that was dying to come out.
Augie was walking out of the office when I came in. “Hey, I’m headed out for a while. You’ll be with your dad today.”
I sighed. That meant it wasn’t physical training. Shit-tastic.
“Where are you off to?” I asked.
“Just some scouting with Rick, but not too far out. We’ll be back after lunch.”
I gave him a hug. “Stay safe.”
“Always.” He winked, then headed for the door.
I entered Dad’s office and took a seat. He was on the phone, faced creased in frustration.
“Yeah, we’ll get a few people out there to check it out.” He ran his hand through his greying hair. “Thanks for letting us know.”
I raised a brow when he hung up the phone. “What was that about?”
“Iris over near Crater Lake said they chased some wolves off their property. They headed east, so she wanted to give us a heads-up. I’ll send a team of trackers out and see if they can pick up anything. If they ran from Iris’s smaller pack, I doubt they’d venture to ours, but we can’t be too safe right now.”
I nodded. “Any other reports of attacks?”
“No, and that’s what I’m most worried about. What’s Declan up to if he’s not growing his army with our packs?”
The question was rhetorical, but it made me think, regardless. We needed to find him and move in. I was tired of waiting. As soon as our pack was situated, I’d be pushing for bigger groups to go out and hunt. I’d also make sure to lead my own team. I wouldn’t be sitting out any part of the following days or weeks until we found Declan.
Dad leaned back in his chair. “Let’s not stress about it right now, though. Today, I want to work with you on pack connection and maintaining your own emotions.”
I shuddered at his words. I was more of a surface-level person. I didn’t care for emotions. They were messy and complicated. I preferred straightforward and easy.
“Like I said before, you won’t feel a strong connection to the pack like I do until you’re officially alpha… many years from now,” he continued. “You will, however, be able to sense specific emotions that are heavily weighing on another wolf as long as you’re within close proximity. If you’re overwhelmed, then you likely won’t be able to until you’ve had a lot of practice, but happiness, fear, anger, and sadness will be the most prominent.”
“Can’t all the pack members do that?” I asked, confused, because I could already do that in my wolf form.
“Yes, with the assistance of your wolf, but as alpha-in-training, you’ll be able to do it in your human form as well.”
That made more sense. I wasn’t sure I liked the perk. I’d have to be careful not to let others’ emotions mess with mine.
“So, how do I trigger this particular gift?” I kicked my feet up on the desk and leaned back.
He grinned at my casual position. “I’m going to think of a memory that will activate an emotion. I won’t tell you what the memory is, but I want you to tell me how you think I’m feeling.”
Easy enough, I thought.
My dad closed his eyes and I concentrated on his face, watching for any tells as to what he might be feeling, but his poker face was on point. I copied his movements, closing my eyes as well, trying to focus on nothing other than him.
We tried several times and he was supposedly changing emotions each time we did, but I got nothing from him. Not even an inkling as to his feelings at the moment. I sat there drumming my fingers on the arm of the chair. It wasn’t going to work, and I felt like an idiot.
“It takes practice, Taya. If you get frustrated with yourself so quickly, you’ll never get it down,” he chastised.
I knew he was right, but I wanted it to be easy. I didn’t want to dig deep and deal with emotions. I just wanted to be able to say I could do it and move on. My own emotions were messy enough. I didn’t see why feeling the pack’s emotions mattered anyway and I said as much.
“For you to truly understand your pack, you need to see beyond what they show you,” he answered. “Someone might tell you they’re fine, but on the inside, they’re struggling, and it will be your job to make sure they are okay. One day, all of our pack members will be your children. You have to be willing to strip away all your insecurities if you plan on helping anyone other than yourself.”
His words were like a punch to the gut. I was confident on the outside and I knew I was capable of beating the shit out of a lot of people, but as I said before, emotions were not my thing. I wasn’t sure I could do what he was asking.
“I’ll do my best,” I said, “but I make no promises.”
He smiled at me. “You’ll get it. Just keep trying and one day, it will click. We can meet once a week and practice. For today, go sort out whatever is bothering you. I know you’re hurting and frustrated. Until you’re free of whatever is bothering you, there’s no point in continuing.”
I huffed. “Then why did we even try to begin with?”
“I wanted you to at least know what to expect next time, and maybe you can practice at home or with Augie. You still learned something even if you didn’t accomplish it.”
Pain in my ass. That’s what he was. I stood from the chair, ready to go find Liam and do as my dad said. Sort our shit out. Well, he hadn’t been as colorful with his words, but he had said the same thing, essentially. I had just made it sound better.
I gave him a hug, then headed back to my house, uncertain if Liam would be around or not. He hadn’t called or texted, and it was nearing lunch. He couldn’t still be mad about last night. Could he?