I paced the kitchen as Jamie ate her food. I was no longer able to think about food. I was twisted up in knots on the inside. Yes, I knew leaving Liam here was the right thing to do, but it didn’t lessen the agony storming within. Now that the decision had been made, I was ready to disappear. Sitting around the house without Liam by my side was slowly killing me.
"You're giving me a headache," Jamie complained. "Will you sit down?"
I rolled my eyes at her. "No, hurry up and eat, so we can go back to our room. I need to book my flight for tomorrow."
"Sure. Whatever you think is best."
She was placating me, but I didn't care. The woman was lucky I adored her. If it had been anyone else, I might have thrown something at them.
Jamie finished her meal right as Addie skipped back into the kitchen. She had been in there when we arrived but given us some space, which I appreciated, because she was far too happy for my current mood.
She had a pixie cut, and her brown hair spiked out at the ends. Her smile was wide and inviting, but I didn't have the energy to pretend to be happy around her.
Her smile dimmed when she noticed my food was untouched. "Was the food okay?"
I nodded. "Of course, just not as hungry as I thought I was. Thank you for making it. Sorry I wasted it."
She tsked. "Not to worry, Taya. I'm just not used to food being left over. The shifters around here usually never leave a crumb behind." She laughed, and the sound was like bells.
I smiled back at her. I couldn't help it. Her energy was contagious.
Jamie pushed back from the counter. "Thank you, Addie. We're going to head back to our room for the night. We'll see you in the morning."
"Certainly. I have breakfast ready by six each morning. Any special requests?"
"Whatever you already have planned will be perfect," Jamie said.
Jamie and I left the kitchen, and a shadow of gloom covered me again. Addie really had some positive juju going on. She and Augie would have gotten along swimmingly.
Thinking of him made me miss home. Miss how things were before Cord died and I met Liam. My life hadn't been perfect, but I was content. I knew what to expect out of my days and I was happy with that. Now, everything was screwed up. My heart hurt worse than it ever had, and I had no idea what the future was going to bring me. I didn't like it.
Jamie looped her arm through mine as we got closer to the office. I really wished I knew of another route to the room, but I was afraid we'd get lost in the labyrinth of a house. Thankfully, when we passed the room, the door was open, but nobody was in there. The only bad part about that was that I would likely have to face Liam now, assuming Caleb told him of my intentions to leave.
"You ready to talk about it yet?" Jamie asked.
I shook my head. "There's nothing to say."
"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"
I grinned. "Augie has told me that my whole life. No sense in trying to change now."
"You're also insufferable. Just know… even if you leave tomorrow, I'm only a phone call away. No matter what happens, we're still friends. If you blow me off, I'll come back to Oregon and use your fighting skills against you."
I laughed for the first time in over twenty-four hours. Jamie was good for me.
"Thank you. I needed that. Don't worry, you're stuck with me for life. Remember, besties before testes."
Now it was her turn to laugh. "That was some quick thinking on my part that day. Poor Caleb hadn't known what hit him."
When we arrived back in the room, I was shocked to see Sera sitting on the bed. Her red and swollen eyes were the first thing I noticed, followed by her fidgeting hands. She stood when she noticed us walk into the room.
Her stare focused on me. “Could you spare me a moment of your time?”
Jamie nudged me before I could respond. "I'm going to go find Caleb and give the two of you some privacy."
"He's out front with his brothers," Sera said. "I told him I would send you his way when I saw you."
Jamie nodded and backed out of the door, closing it behind her. My heart was pounding and hands were shaking. I stood there like an idiot, unsure of what to do next.
"Please, have a seat." Sera patted the spot next to her on the bed.
I operated on auto-pilot and followed her directions. I sat on the bed, putting as much space between us as possible. She was being nice, but I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t just a show after the cruel words I’d heard earlier.
"Taya, I'm so sorry. I know you have plenty of reasons not to, but I hope you'll be able to find in your heart to forgive me for the unforgivable words I said about you."
What the what? I didn't know what to say to her. I just sat there staring at her with a blank expression on my face.
She cleared her throat. "I feel like the worst person in the world. Please, understand it was the grief talking, and if Liam had just told me, I would have welcomed you just the same as I had Jamie. Nothing makes me happier than to see my boys finally settling down. You have no idea the hell they've put me through since they found out girls were something to be admired."
I cracked a small smile. "I can imagine.”
I wasn’t sure what she expected me to say, but before things got awkward, she continued.
"Liam has always been closest to me, but it also meant he’s never wanted to hurt me. My sweet boy thought he was protecting me by not telling me about you, but in reality, it was only hurting all of us. I smacked him silly when Aiden said you were Liam's mate. I expect you to give him hell eventually, but even though I have no right to ask for any favors, please, take it easy on him."
I nodded. "I won't lie. He broke my heart with how he treated me, as did your words, but I’ve come to a realization. You and your pack need him. Now is not the time for us to be putting romance before the safety of our packs. I am leaving tomorrow to head back to Oregon. Declan is still out there, and I need to be with my father and our pack.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but I held my hand up to finish.
"I had told Liam us being together wouldn't work for many reasons. I knew from the start there was a chance we wouldn’t be able to stay in a relationship. We each have too many responsibilities to our packs, and neither of us should have to choose the other over our family."
Sera let out a deep sigh, reaching for my hand. "Oh, child. We've all made a mess of things, but if the two of you are truly mates, then you’ll find a way to make it work. I won’t stand in the way, even if it means my son moving to Oregon. I know we don't know each other at all, but I hope you believe my words and we can become close one day. I asked Liam to let me speak with you first, but it's time you saw him. Do you mind if I send him in here?"
"I think that's probably a good idea."
She tugged my hand as she stood, and I followed her movements. Her arms wrapped me in a hug I wasn't expecting. She was a completely different person than the one who greeted us at the airstrip and the one whose harsh words broke my heart earlier today.
She’d given me a lot to think about. I’d try to take all of her words into consideration, though I’d make no promises. I could forgive easily, but I couldn’t forget as quickly.
I returned her hug and held back the emotional outburst that so desperately wanted to come out. She was everything I pictured in the mother I had never known. Yes, Sera had been awful earlier, but I appreciated as soon as she had all the information, she owned it and apologized. I respected that.
Her hug was almost therapeutic, making me hesitant to let go, but we eventually pulled apart and she left the room. I sat back on the bed and placed my hands on my head. I might have thought things were screwed up before, but after the conversation with Sera, I was even more confused.
Regardless of Sera’s acceptance, I knew the right thing to do was to go home, but would Liam hate me for it? Or would he understand and agree with my decision? The hard part was not knowing which would be worse.
My instinct when things got rough – like in my current situation – was to shift and run. Life made more sense in my wolf form. It was easier. Being a human was messy and frustrating.
Before I could dwell on it for too long, Liam opened the door and walked in. He didn't make eye contact with me, nor did he say anything. He walked toward me with his eyes on the ground.
I couldn't take the pain that radiated from him. I slid off the bed and met him in the middle of the room. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as tightly as I could. His arms found their way around me as his whole body began to shake.
I rubbed my hands up and down his back as he cried and let it all out. My own tears began to fall as his agony became mine. My wolf howled within me and we decided right then, there was no way I could leave Liam tomorrow.
I had been so sure of my choice before, but seeing him this way… I couldn’t live with myself if I left him in his current state. No matter how much he had hurt me, he needed me, and I wouldn't abandon him, even though I was still angry with him. Just as he had once forced his way into my life, I’d make sure he let me in now.
Minutes later, he pulled back and wiped at his face. "I'm so fucking sorry, Taya."
I hushed him. "It's okay."
"No, it's not. I was a dick, and you deserve so much better than that. At first, I didn't know how to handle everything I was feeling from the pack. It was overwhelming, and I pushed you away. Then, when I saw my mom and how much she was falling apart, I couldn't stand the thought of causing her more pain. I should have spoken to you about it. If I could go back and do it all differently, I would.”
“I’m not going to say it’s fine, because it wasn’t, and if you ever do something like that again, you’ll be missing body parts. But, I do understand. I came to the conclusion earlier that I was going to leave and head back to Oregon–”
Liam choked and stuttered. “P-please, don’t leave without me.” His grip tightened almost painfully around my waist. “We’ll figure this out together like we should have done to begin with. I’ll never forgive myself for how I hurt you.”
He didn’t let me get to the ‘but’ of that sentence and I was glad. Even though I didn’t want to see him hurting, I was perfectly okay with him being remorseful. Though, I did love him, so I’d put him out of his misery.
“But after speaking with your mother and seeing you now, I know I could never leave you.”
“I love you, Taya. I’ll make this up to you, I promise.”
His hands cupped my face as he pressed his lips to mine. The kiss started out slow but turned desperate and pleading within moments. My nails dug into his back as I pushed into him. It had only been a day, but I’d missed his touch. Craved it without realizing it.
His hands slid down my back, cupping my ass to bring me flush against him. Rumbles shook his chest as we melded together.
“How could I have ever thought it was better to handle this on my own?” he murmured against my ear, nipping it.
I tilted my head back, a smartass remark at the tip of my tongue, but the door opened before I could say anything.
“Quit the kink, you two.” Caleb smirked. “We need to go see Criselle and see if she can try not to kill Aiden and Liam.”
My eyes widened as I untangled myself from Liam. “Who’s Criselle and why would she kill them?”
“She’s our oldest pack member and the only one who can transfer power between an alpha and his successor, but she’s also ancient and senile, so it’s a bit of a gamble.”
As much as I was glad to see a glimpse of the carefree Caleb I had grown to love as my own brother, I didn’t care for the words coming out of his mouth. Nobody else was dying on my watch, even if it meant I didn’t get to keep my mate.