“Keisha Kei-shaaaaa,” my roommate, Symia, greets me as she enters our dorm room. A full-figured girl with dark chocolates skin and shoulder-length red hair, Symia always looks like a fashion plate. Seriously, her wardrobe is far better than mine and she’s even taken me on as a pet project.
A business major, Symia hopes to open her own salon one day. She does hair to support herself on the side. She’s the reason why my hair is grown out into curly ringlets. “Are you going to the party tonight?”
Since I’ve been at USC, there’s been a party every night. While I indulged for the first couple of weeks, it became old very quickly. How many times can one play beer pong in one week?
“I don’t know. I’m thinking I’m going to skip it and stay in.” Yeah, staying in on a Friday night is really unheard-of in college but I see no point of going out right now. Besides, I have a paper that could use my attention.
“There are going to be some hot men at the party tonight.” Symia pauses for a beat. “You, Daryl is checking for you.”
Daryl Barker, USC’s prime quarterback who is responsible for leading the team to one of its best starts in school history. He’s also Daryl Barker, the dog who has a new chick every week, with a ton more waiting in the harem. I think I’ll pass on the chlamydia. “I’m sure he is.”
“Well, let me know if you decide to go,” Symia collapses on her bed. “I can’t wait. You know, big girls are the new hot sauce now.”
Symia may be a big girl but her phone never stops ringing. A part of it is she’s just a naturally attractive woman, but another part is she can line a man’s fade just right. It seems everyone goes to her to get their hair did (yes, I said it right), and she’s been collecting numbers and using up condoms at the same time. She’s the real P.I.M.P. if you ask me.
“Well, we’ll see how I’ll feel later.” I yawn and I have to drag myself to lecture. I honestly want to skip it but I know this will be info I can use later for the paper I’m working on. “I’ll see you later, Mia.”
~~~~~
Life has been so crazy these past few months. Once I graduated out of LACC, I officially moved out of my home and let Tasha and Junie rent there. I told Tasha I may have been cool to not her pay rent as her roommate but as her landlord, I’m getting a monthly check from her.
Tasha tried to bargain with me and I told her if there are any problems, she can always move out. Once she checked the surrounding area and saw how expensive Inglewood was becoming, her tune quickly changed. Needless to say, she started paying.
Tasha, is well, Tasha. She’s stuck between wanting to grow up and wanting to stay the way things are. I told her she doesn’t have much time to be straddling the fence before it makes the decision for her. I don’t know if she’s going to listen. Some people have to want to be great, to do great.
Junie has blown up and is now a highly sought-after producer. He recently worked with one of the hottest rappers in the game, Dolce Gabbana. His album should be dropping soon and everyone is already predicting it’s going to do big numbers. If that happens, Junie’s stock just skyrocketed.
He’s still with Tasha, but things are kinda weird between them. He’s not cheating on her or messing around, but I’m not sure how much longer he’ll be in the picture if he’s trying to spread his wings and she’s content doing nothing.
My auntie is still in the other duplex and true to form, we’re still not talking. Oh well. I’ve tried. I can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. Older people love to lecture younger folks without realizing that they too, were once young and stupid. They also don’t like to realize they can also be a bit of an asshole themselves. Maybe one day we’ll be cool but as of right now, she needs to stay where she is.
Of course, I still have my Granny’s home, but the neighborhood has changed a lot now. There’s a lot more development but there’s also less black folks in Inglewood. There are a lot more white faces. I’m feeling iffy about the whole thing. I miss how cozy and welcoming my neighborhood was.
Everyone knew each other, their kids, their kids’ kids. Seeing old men playing bones and chess at Leimert Park was not a thang. Going to the Saturday flea market was a thing to do and I always got the flyest gear for hella low prices.
However, with everything good, there’s always the bad and Inglewood had a lot of that. I don’t miss the gang activity, drug addiction, and senseless violence. Lil’ C was lucky, but he’s one of the few. Kids are often caught in the crossfire of dumb-ass adults. I guess you can say gentrification solves a lot of that.
Jalen was arrested for a host of charges, including attempted murder of Lil’ C. Last time I heard, he was still in jail. He still has a harem of girls. Occasionally I get whispers from other people telling me he’s been asking about me, but really, I don’t care.
Daddy and Ashley are finally back together and Daddy recently proposed to Ashley with a huge diamond ring. Their wedding is set for next year. My daddy is no longer slanging stating he now has enough money for all of us and our kids to retire on. Truthfully, he’s always had plenty of money but I guess there was a dollar amount my daddy wanted and he finally got it.
Daddy decided real estate was his calling, and he’s already invested millions into the Inland Empire and the Lancaster and Palmdale areas, building it up for the black migration there. I guess all that drug dealing to the white folks paid off in some ways. Daddy’s the real Robin Hood.
Andrea has been showcasing her baby bump for all of the world to see. King J is also still in jail but he’ll be home in a couple of years. Andrea and I still don’t have a relationship and well, not sure if we’ll ever have one.
As far as me and Savior goes, no phone calls, no texts, nothing. The loss of him was more devastating than I thought it would be. The silence was beyond heartbreaking. The pain started in my heart and coursed through my body like a maze, grounding me to the cement. It was like we never knew each other at all.
When it came for my tuition bill, however, Savior did show up even if he wasn’t physically present – my entire USC tuition for all four years is covered and that includes books.
I stayed at my daddy’s home so I could recover, and Ashley took off a few days from work to help me. We went to a spa treatment and I tended to my Netflix addiction. I watched more black movies than anyone could handle during that time. I ended up getting a new phone number and just completely erased myself from anything Savior. I still kept the pictures of us for reasons I’m not entirely sure about.
The Google alerts I still had on Savior told me he left his father’s law firm and started his own. The same alerts didn’t tell me about a girlfriend or wife. I know I shouldn’t care and I know he doesn’t. Hell, he probably made the same offer to another stupid college student right now and I’m just playing myself.
Surprisingly enough, I’m still cool with one Ellison brother – Soul. He emails me all of the time and gives me first dibs on the latest FBLs before they hit the stores. He even said he didn’t mind that I resold them on Ebay in case I needed the money. He’s super cool like that.
I finally make my way over to the lecture hall and sit in the standard back row so I don’t bother anyone. It’s for my political science class and as much as I love my major, it can be boring AF at times. Hopefully, the lecture will be short and sweet and I can go back to the dorm and sleep.
“Good Morning, class.” The professor, Avery Johnson, enters the classroom. She’s an older black woman who gives Annalise Keating vibes. She often changes her wig and her makeup depending on what young stud she’s blowing that week. I don’t know if she’s ever killed someone but I really wouldn’t put it past her.
She hands a stack of papers to a student and we all get one. “We have a special guest today for the lecture. Please take as many notes as you can as some of this might be on the midterm but all of you can use for your life.”
A student gives me the stack of papers and my heart froze seeing the guest speaker’s name:
Savior.
I’m lowkey hoping there are a few Savior Ellisons in the world and I happen to see the one that isn’t my ex. That would make me so happy and heartbroken at same time and OMG, I think I’m annoyed by how my heart and brain are acting right now.
As if my body was turned on with a dial, I became acutely aware when Savior entered the lecture hall. He walked with confident strides, owning the room with each step, and I heard the collective gasps of many women in the audience. I finally looked up and saw Savior in his delicious Bel-Air finest, looking delicious.
He wore a red sweater vest with a long white shirt and brown khakis. The red bow tie signaled he was clearly on-campus for a Kappa event and dressed the part. The emotions within me are going haywire but my body is zinged with instant attraction to that man.
The familiar thump in my panties reappears and my breathing becomes zig-zag-like, almost choking me. I wring the back of my neck to relief the sudden tension and blow out a harsh breath. My lecture is usually an hour long and I doubt Savior will be talking for the full hour. I just hope I can get through it without completely losing myself.
“Thank you, everyone,” Savior writes his name on the whiteboard before he turns to the class. His eyes scan around the room and he smiles at the faces before him. “We have a big group of students here so I’ll make this short and sweet so you can get back to your avocado toasts and IG feeds.” There are laughter and chuckles.
Savior’s eyes connect with mine. The professional Savior briefly disappears as the sultry look I was too all-too familiar with reappeared. We hold eyes briefly before he goes to retrieve handouts to give to the class.
In typical Savior fashion, he retrieves the notes and passes them out individually to each student. There’s about fifty of us so it’s extra work he’s doing. He’s being intentional with this because I know he wants to see me up close and personal and wonder if it’s really me.
My hair is different and my face is a bit fuller than before. I have a few tattoos now in intricate parts of my body that can only be seen if I’m naked. I’m almost tempted to ask Savior if he wants to see my tats.
As he approaches my row, the nervousness cinches my stomach and the butterflies go a mile a minute. I smell his intoxicating cologne. I see how perfectly coiffed his bedhead is. I can’t tear my gaze away from him, no matter how much I want to. Savior is just simply breathtaking.
He walks in front of my table and passes the papers to everyone sitting there. He stands directly in front of me and small crackles of sexual electricity buzzes between us. He holds my gaze and curves his lips into that delightful, sexy smile that I love so much.
His brown eyes are full of wicked contemplativeness, as if he’s trying to figure out the right way to knock the wind out of me. Little does Savior know, he’s already succeeded in that.
“Gorgeous…” He mouths as he gives me the notes and moves onto another student.
My heart is pounding so loud, I can’t hear myself think. A quiver stirred within me and my body tensed with every emotion possible. I hear girls behind me squealing amongst themselves as one girl thought Savior was referring to her.
I let them have their fantasy. It’s the very least I can do.
Opening the pages and my eyes bulge out of the sockets upon reading the first line:
I’ve should’ve been honest with you from the start.
I flip the page and read the second line. You have every right to be angry and refuse to speak to me for the rest of your life.
Looking over at the third page, my eyes start to water. But when I said I love you, there were no games with that. When I said I’m going to marry you, I still believe that.
By the time the fourth page came, the tears were streaming down my face. All I want is a second chance to do right. I love you, Keisha, and I want to make this work.
Looking up at Savior, I notice his eyes are again locked on mine. He blows out a deep breath and releases his shoulders. He felt the same emotions I did and I can only imagine what was going through his head as he watched me read his letter. “Shall we begin?”
~~~~~~
Savior was brilliant, of course. I’ve never seen him in action so it was nice to see how well he worked the room. He lectured on the Machiavellian theory and how even today’s society, we all have a little Machiavellian within us. The hardcore hip-hop fan, Savior also drew comparisons to Tupac’s Makaveli album with Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly.
After the lecture, students crowd around Savior to get more insight. His fan girls hang onto his every word and I can’t honestly be mad at them. I know how he affects everyone around him. He’s more than just a gorgeous face; Savior is a truly good guy.
And maybe his apology actually does mean something.
I slip out of the lecture hall as Savior stops and answers questions. He’s so busy answering the questions, he doesn’t notice me. During his lecture, we made eye contact a few times and each time it was like the first time all over again.
Realizing I was still in love with Savior is beyond heartbreaking. I see him in every man I interact with. Some of them had similar cologne as him but the scent was all uniquely Savior. A few Nupes tried to holler at me, but they were just another version of Savior.
I wanted him. I wanted the real thing.
I shrug my shoulders and keep walking out of the hall. I hadn’t seen him in forever and I’m sure I’m just a blip on his radar now. There’s no point of me reshashing a memory from long ago. Savior has moved on and so have I. I will always cherish the brief time we’d spent together and I can honestly say I loved him more than any other man.
And maybe one day, I will love another man just as much or even harder.
“Gorgeous…”
My feet stopped moving as a rush of emotions coated my body. His smoky, purring voice fills with an awareness I’d long forgotten about. I close my eyes, slowly inhale and exhale, and hope I can relieve some emotions.
Slowly turning around, I see Savior walking in long strides towards me. He’s not in a hurry but he’s not taking his time. He walks like a man on a mission, and doesn’t want to waste time with small details. For the first time, I notice he’s wearing FBLs and I have to say I’m savoring over that red colorway.
When he approaches me, all of the feelings I’ve ever had for that man come rushing back like an ocean current. My heart is pounding so hard and so loud, and my body once again becomes so aware of him.
His brown eyes are soft, warm, and inviting. His scent was a combination of earth, and wood, but all Savior. His brownish-blond hair had the right amount of bed head but still looked perfectly coiffed. I resisted the urge to touch the corn silk strands.
There are some people you can go weeks and months without seeing each other and it’ll be like nothing ever happened when you see each other again. That’s what’s going on between me and Savior. It’s almost as if we never broke up at all.
“You grew out your hair,” his eyes peruse over my head, “I like it.”
“Yeah,” I shake the loose curls. No amount of YouTube tutorials could it just perfect but it would suffice. “Something different.”
“It looks great.” He lets out a subtle breath and briefly looks around to see if no one was listening. “I wanted to talk to you about everything.”
My body stills upon knowing what Savior wants to talk to me about. The home. My neighborhood being gentrified and his father’s firm was responsible for it. I clench my teeth and plant my feet on the ground. This might be a short reunion. “Yes?”
“My father was trying to build up Inglewood before you and I met. I had no idea what he was doing until after the fact. My offer to send you to college had nothing to do what he was doing. When I found out about it, we got into a huge blowout fight and well, me bringing you to the gala only made things worse.
“The ski trip was originally supposed to be for all of us. My mother backed out at the last minute, more than likely because my father pissed her off. My father decided he just wanted an all boys’ trip with me, Soul, and Ocean. I knew what he was trying to do and I just went along with it because I didn’t want to fight on vacation.
“I told my father I was leaving the firm because I had enough of his bullshit and he didn’t take it well. He was actually quite pissed off at me and I think he still is.” A flash of anger and sadness runs across Savior’s eyes. “I’m not going to have my father determine what to eat and how to shit for the rest of my life. It’s bad enough I had him do it for as long as he did.”
Savior locks eyes with me. There’s rawness and love within his eyes and my body is so fine-tuned to his emotions. “I’m telling you this, Keisha, because I want us to be together regardless. Our backgrounds are far from perfect, but you’re perfect for me. If you want me to move to Inglewood and live there with you, I will. If you don’t want to live in Bel-Air, we’ll find somewhere else to live. I don’t know what our future will hold but I do know I’m not leaving his campus today without you being mine forever.”
Tears threaten my eyes and I try to blink them back, but to no avail. They still fall down my cheeks. Savior cups my face and thumbs away the tears as a small smile curves his lips. He gave up everything for me and is willing to do more. It’s a selflessness I’ve never known before.
“Savior, I…” My voice is lodged in my throat and I can’t form the words to speak. Various feelings of emotion chokes my voice and I’m struggling to find the perfect words, and it’s all coming out in a jumbled mess.
I missed Savior terribly. I missed the way he held me, the way his body pressed into mine as we made love. I missed how he smelled, and how his scent lingered in the air long after he’d left a room.
I buried myself into a social life I wasn’t that comfortable with and gaining more girlfriends. I wanted a life that was different from what I was used to but I wasn’t sure if Savior’s world was where I fit in.
“Speak to me,” he encourages, “tell me how you feel.”
I nod and sniffle. “You know what bothers me about all of this?” I lock eyes with him. “That you cheated.”
“What?” Hurt etches across his face. “What are you talking about? I’ve never cheated on you.”
“You said Cappadonna was an original member of the Wu-Tang Clan and he wasn’t! He didn’t join until later.” I jab my finger into his muscular chest. “I should’ve won that night!”
Savior’s face relaxes and the delicious, sultry smile reappears. “You’re right. He wasn’t.”
I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him and Savior caught me by surprise. He wraps his arms around me and lifts me up into an intense kiss. His tongue plays with mine as he again makes love to my mouth.
Savior slowly sets me back down on the ground and we walk out of the hall, holding hands. “So, what now?” He asks.
“I have a date in a few hours,” I begin, “the rowdiest people at the convalescent home on Wilshire.” I turn to him. “You can be my plus one, if you want?”
“Will your boyfriend there mind if I show up?” Savior teases. “I don’t want to cause trouble.”
“Hmm…” I turn towards him and kiss my boyfriend one more time. “…I think you’re the good kind of trouble I need.”
The End