“Sheriff Pelter, you need to remain calm. Do you remember what happened?” A baby-faced doctor hovered inches from his face.

Drugs muddled his mind, but he still hurt…everywhere. He panicked as he tried to remember what the hell was going on.

“No.”

“You’ve received several injuries. We’ve removed three bullets, but we need to take you to the OR to remove a few we can’t safely remove in the ER. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my boys, where are—”

“Camden, don’t be a fucking idiot. Your boys are fine,” Linus barked. “Let them take the fucking bullets out.”

“I want to see them before I go.” He wouldn’t stand for them denying his demand to see them. Surgery meant serious damage, and he wasn’t having it unless he could say goodbye to his boys first.

“We don’t have time to waste. You’ve lost a lot—”

“Shut the fuck up and get me Eric and Ellison…now.” He’d get up off this fucking bed if he needed to and he’d take anyone out who thought to stop him.

A large hand landed in the middle of his chest, and he looked up to find Gage glaring down at him. “We got this, man, I’ll go get your boys.” The understanding in the man’s eyes caused him to relax. “Just do what the doctors want you to fucking do, got me?”

He nodded. He wasn’t dying or at least he didn’t think he was.

“Your boys flew a rescue mission to get your ass. They’ve finally crashed from the adrenaline and they ain’t holding up that great,” Liv remarked from by the door.

“What the fuck? Y’all were supposed—”

All the things that could’ve gone wrong played through his brain. He could’ve woken up only to find his boys had died. It highlighted all the time he’d wasted. The years he’d denied them and himself. His brain was fuzzy, and the pain ebbed away, but he fought it. He needed to see Eric and Ellison before they took him away. Tell them one more time he loved them and that they shouldn’t have put their lives on the line for him.

The door opened, and he turned his heavy head to see them. His beautiful boys, tears stained their cheeks, and their eyes were red-rimmed. They held each other tight as if they’d fall apart without the tether to the other. His arm fell off the bed, and he tried to lift it to reach for them. It must have been all they needed because they ran across the room. They didn’t touch him.

“Boys, what did you do?”

“We just did what had to be done. We couldn’t lose you,” Ellison’s voice broke.

They took his hand in theirs, stroked their thumbs over his skin, and it was an instant relief.

“We were qualified.”

“I don’t give a shit if you were qualified or not. You put yourselves in danger, and you’re going to be punished.”

“It was worth it,” they said in perfect sync.

He shook off their hold on his hand and fisted his fingers in their shirts. The thought of losing them was too much. That was why he’d stayed single all these years. He couldn’t bear to put them through that. He had to protect them. His life wasn’t meant for his boys. They’d be safer farther away from him.

“Sheriff, we really need—”

“Fuck off. One more fucking word, and I walk.”

“Camden, please,” Eric begged.

“You two go home.”

“We don’t want to go home without you.”

“No, your house.”

“Cam—”

“I’m ready to go. Linus, take them to get their stuff and take them home.”

“This is bullshit, Camden. You don’t want to do this.”

“Just do what I fucking say,” he growled as he released his boys and was thankful when he was wheeled out of the exam room. He wasn’t strong enough to keep up the act. One look or tear, and he’d beg for forgiveness, but their safety came first.

---

Two weeks passed since he’d woke in the hospital while getting prepped for surgery surrounded by doctors, his deputies, and the Trenton Team.

The last thing he remembered was making the phone call to Linus to tell his boys he loved them. He’d never reacted with such fear in his life. The mere thought of never seeing his boys again or being their when their children were born killed him—there wasn’t even the chance of kids yet. Since he’d sent them away, his house was cold and empty. He made excuses more often than not to avoid it as much as possible. He couldn’t sleep in their bed anymore, and when he didn’t catch a nap on his couch in his office, he curled up on a sleeping bag in his living room. His wounds weren’t healing, and he wasn’t getting enough rest, but in the short time they’d declared their relationship official, he’d grown used to things. The warmth of his boys tucked against his sides at night. The sight of them in his kitchen or on the couch when he got home from work. The calls and texts, he hungered for all those small incidences that made his life happy. He wanted to be happy because he’d been miserable so fucking long.

The anger and awe at what his boys had done hit him finally. He’d listened to the recordings Linus brought him. The man kept a record of his missions in case something went nuclear. Eric and Ellison had sounded so confident and strong. He’d known they were, but to hear it did something to him. Unfortunately, his anger kept them away. He couldn’t get past the rage at the danger they put themselves in. He was supposed to protect them not the other way around.

He stood in the shadows across the street from Pleasure dressed in black.

Yes, he’d kept his boys away from him, but he couldn’t resist his compulsion to make sure they were safe.

Peaches was on his ass to release the Trenton Crew from jail, but they were staying locked up as long he wanted. He’d arrested every member of the Trenton Crew for every suspected crime they’d committed. Peaches was earning her retainer.

“The stalker bullshit doesn’t exactly work for you.” He turned to find Bull leaned against a brick wall, his arms folded across his chest.

“What are you doing here?” he asked and went back to his watch.

“I drew the short straw. We couldn’t send the Trenton Crew after you. I think they’re all locked up except for Gage. Out of all of us, I was the least pissed off.”

“Nothing you say will change my mind.”

“I didn’t say you needed to change your mind, but why not take your boys’ feelings into consideration?”

“That’s all I’ve been doing. They’re the most important.”

Why couldn’t people see that what he did was to make sure they were always safe? He couldn’t allow them to be in the same situation again. He wouldn’t be able to survive it.

“Doesn’t seem like it when you kicked them out of your room and house as soon as you woke up after they rescued your damn ass. Fuck, man, that shit they were trained for, and their mama trained them well. No one else could’ve pulled off a rescue like that as quickly as they did. You would’ve been dead before they flew a team in.”

He stared across the expanse of the deserted street. It was almost time for his boys to get off work and go home. He’d make sure they got in their car before he returned to work.

“Don’t fucking ignore me, man. You three love each other, anyone can fucking see it, but you’re being a moron. How many fucking chances do we get? We’re old. We’re assholes. And our boys still love us. Do you think I didn’t fight what I felt for Gregory? Do you fucking think for one minute I wanted him to be there when I decided being sober wasn’t working? Gregory is a grown ass man, and I respected his decision, grateful every day he decided this old bastard was worth it. Don’t give that shit up because of what might happen tomorrow or ten years from today. We ain’t guaranteed a lot in life, Pelter. So when we get the chance, we hold onto the good to make the fucked-up in life less painful.”

He understood what Bull was saying, and he may agree, but he—just the thought of leaving them to go on after him tore him apart. When he found out what they did, he was proud of their strength, but going on without them wasn’t an option. They were…

“If you’re thinking they’d be better off, you’re wrong, man. They’re falling the fuck apart. Maybe even more than you. In the three years Sin and Saint been coming around Brawlers ain’t once in all that time have I never seen them without a smile on their faces. We used to believe that they couldn’t survive without each other because they were made to be an inseparable set. Then you bring your fucking ass around, and those boys are broken—even together.”

“They could’ve died. I just keep imagining waking up in the hospital and instead of them being there that Linus is telling me they didn’t make it. I’d have to go the rest of my life knowing they died because of me. What happens—”

“Knock off the what-ifs. What if you have another fifty years with them or as little as a year. Would you rather not have that memory? Suffer with your fucking pride all you want, but don’t take that shit out on them. They don’t need your insecurities or be the victims of your martyrdom.”

“This is my life, I chose it the day I enlisted, and when I pinned the badge to my uniform for the first time.”

“A lot of military and law enforcement have great marriages despite the high divorce rate. If their spouses and partners go into it knowing that they gotta take hold of every day and make it great. You’re going to end up a lonely, bitter man with nothing better to show for your life than a chest of metals. I’m not going to stand out here arguing with you all night. I got one thing to ask. Is their pain worth your ego?”

The man slapped him on the back, but he never turned to watch the man disappear. Would he survive walking away? Two weeks ago the answer was the same—he couldn’t imagine life without them. He wanted his rings on their fingers, to see his boys hold their child for the first time, and celebrate every milestone. He checked the time and stepped out of the shadows of the alley. Even as his brain made the decision, his body and feet dragged with the terror of all the things that could go wrong. He hadn’t bothered to think about the good things.

He hesitated with his hand on the door handle before the pulled it open. The obscene moaning over the PA system interrupted the music briefly. Once he was inside, he searched for Eric and Ellison, and they stared at him from the counter. Their expressions a mix of hope and misery; their fingers locked tightly together. They still wore his rings on their slender fingers. He’d noticed they looked skinnier—their faces thinner than the last time he’d seen them.

All his pain and loneliness threatened to double him in half. He’d missed them so much, and he didn’t second-guess himself as he strode quickly toward them. He gathered them in his arms, they clutched at the back of his shirt, and he kissed them. Kissed their cheeks and wet lashes, and apologized between each, he whispered he was sorry—begged for their forgiveness.

They were the only good thing he had in his life. The part that made it all worth it.

“We want to come home,” their whispers were tearful, and they buried their faces against his chest.

“I’m so sorry. I just didn’t…I could’ve lost you two, and it made me insane to know I wasn’t there.”

“Just take us home, please,” Ellison begged, and that broke his heart.

Ellison needed him to be strong—be his safe place—and he’d let him down.

“Come on, finish up, and I’ll take you home and make you dinner, how’s that?”

They nodded, he let them go, but he didn’t move away from them. He needed their closeness—the warmth of them. He’d make this up to them even if it took him the next lifetime to do so. He’d nearly broken his boys, and that couldn’t happen again.

He told them he loved them, kissed their soft lips before he led them outside and toward work so he could pick up his SUV. He needed his boys home with him—now.