If Ryan could read me like an open book, then I was doing a hell of a job hiding my feelings for him. Having him in my living room had me on edge. Opening my door to find him standing on my porch had sent mixed emotions coursing through me. Surprise, excitement and hope all at once. A part of me—the senseless part—had hoped he was there to ask me out, tell me he’d been thinking about me. The excitement had bubbled. Unfortunately, all he wanted to do was thank me. Boy, had I been friend-zoned, and it was killing me slowly inside.

“I’m glad you feel better, and I’m glad I could help.” I stood up and moved to the door. I had to get him out of there. It was all too much.

“Kicking me out already? That’s no way to treat your boyfriend.”

I whirled around, my mouth hanging open. Then, I remembered Charlie’s words. Right. “Very funny. I’m not kicking you out. I’m just...”

“I have the sitter until ten. I’m making the most of my night out. How about some coffee, maybe we could even watch some classic Christmas movies, like the good old days when we were kids?”

I gave in, of course. I mean, it was Ryan. I was a sucker for him. “Okay, anything but Home Alone.”

“Die Hard it is then,” I replied with a smile and started to dig out the well-worn DVD.

“You do know Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie right?”

“Pfft, of course it is…”

She rolled her eyes but smiled, no doubt remembering our past arguments on the very subject.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

He had coffee; I had wine. The alcohol was need on my part because having feelings for an emotionally unavailable man, who was now a single-dad, was stressing. While the movie played in the background, we caught up, talked about his time in New York, about the job that made him wealthy and able to stay at home with the girls.

“So, you stay at home, design computer software and make a load of money?”

“Pretty much,” he shrugged.

“That’s awesome. I’m proud of you, Ryan. Back in high school, you were a popular jock, but I was the only one who knew that deep down you were a computer nerd.”

He threw his head back and let out a roar. “Hey, careful with who you’re calling a nerd. I’m a geek! But thanks for keeping my secret. Football was just to pass the time in high school.”

“High school, those were the days, huh?” I got up and announced, “I need more wine.”

Ryan’s eyes flickered to the empty bottle resting on the coffee table. “Don’t you have work in the morning? You should go easy…”

My nose wrinkled. “You sound like Eric. I’m fine. It’s not like I’m driving home.” I felt myself swaying as I walked. Footsteps sounded behind me.

“No more wine, Lucy. You’re cut off.”

“Bossy much.”

We neared the dining table where a pile of papers littered the surface. Shoot! There were late bills, the word overdue stamped in a large, angry red font on them. And more letters from a loan agency demanding payment. All were things that I didn’t want Ryan seeing. I scrambled to pack up the mail, sending a few envelopes scattering to the floor. When he bent to pick them up, I dove after them. If not for Ryan catching me, I might have broken my neck.

He steadied me. “Jesus, Lucy. What’s the matter with you? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“I uh...” his hands still on my hip, sent me into a stupor. Plus, the alcohol had my brain muddled.

His peered over my shoulders at the stack of mail. “Hiding something?”

“No.” I managed to push the fallen envelopes under the table with my foot.

“You’re a terrible liar, Lucy. Always have been.”

I inched away, and his hands fell from my hips. Immediately I felt bereft. I walked into the kitchen, to the sink. “I’m not lying about anything.” Strong hands grasped my shoulders turning me around.

“You want to know how I know your lying?” He leaned closer, his face mere centimeters from mine.

“How?” the word emerged as a breathy whisper. Ryan's proximity was causing a severe mental and physical malfunction in the best possible way. His natural male scent left me intoxicated, and I swayed toward him.

“Your cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink; you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and nibble. But most importantly you can’t look me in the eyes, just like now. So fess up, Liar,” he murmured.

His eyes twinkled with amusement when my mouth opened and closed. I’m sure he saw the guilt that flickered across my face because he chuckled. Suddenly, his amusement turned something else, but I wasn’t sure what at first.

His eyes darkened, swirled with flecks of silver. They were mesmerizing, pulled me in. Then he covered the slight distance, and I gasped just before his mouth covered mine.

I could have sworn I felt the earth shift, but that could have been my body quaking with surprise, elation, and lust all at the same time. He stilled for a second and my heart dropped, thinking he would stop, but he didn’t.

His lips moved slowly, coaxingly and my lips parted in invitation, allowing his tongue to slide in. He tasted heavenly, like coffee and... Ryan. My arms wound around his neck, crushing my breasts against his heart and chest. The pressure of his kiss gradually increased until it became ravenous. I kissed him back with fervor, our tongues clashed. He lifted me, took me by surprise. I sat on the counter, and he moved closer, stepped between my thighs, which I widened to accommodate him.

It was like we were both lost in a haze of desire. I wondered if Ryan even realized what he was doing. The Ryan I knew would never touch me the way he was. I had dreamed of his kiss, his touch since I was old enough to know what went on between a man and woman, so, I pushed all thoughts aside and focused solely on Ryan, his lips on mine, his hands sliding under my tank top. I shivered at the feel of his hands on my bare skin. They brushed my breasts, and I moaned, briefly wondering if was dreaming. Quite possibly, I was caught up in another one of my fantasies. But how good it felt!

I pulled in a sharp breath when he slid one hand down, into the waistband of my sweats. He stilled when he felt bare flesh. Ryan’s head whipped up, and I fought not to protest the loss of his lips.

“No panties,” he growled. “Jesus, Lucy.” His nostrils flared and my cheeks heated.

With a shrug, I murmured. “Sometimes I go without.”

His groan was guttural, almost animalistic. He moved so swiftly; I squealed wrapping my legs around his waist as he strode back to the living room. We stayed intertwined as he sat down. My top flew over my head, leaving me bare for him to feast on.

His mouth latched on to a nipple to suck, sending shards of pleasure through me. My back arched and my head fell back as I reveled in his delicious assault on my body, my senses. He moved to lavish attention on the other breast. My moans and sighs filled the living room. I wanted him to make love to me right there on my couch. I ached for more, yet, I wanted him to go slow, give every inch of me the attention I had craved for the longest.

As if he could read my thoughts, he shifted, laying me on my back. Ryan hovered over me, looked into my eyes before he captured my mouth again. When his hand slid down, disappearing below the waistband of my sweats once again, I prayed he wouldn’t stop.

He caressed my mound, teased me with his fingers until I was panting. Finally, his finger flicked my sensitive bud, nearly sending me through the roof.

I gasped his name as he feathered kisses along my neck and circled my clitoris. I wondered if should I tell him I’d never gotten that far with any man. A twenty-seven-year-old virgin. He would probably laugh. But, it’s his fault that I haven’t lost my virginity. I compared every man to him since I was old enough to date and no one ever measured up.

All thoughts of my virginity fled when Ryan slid a finger between my slit. I gasped, moaned, then let out a cry when he added another digit and began to stroke, at the same time, finding my mouth. His tongue moved in and out the same way his fingers moved between my legs. My fingernails dug into his shoulders as pleasure threatened to consume me.

“God, Luce, you’re so tight and wet,” he whispered against my lips.

My hips moved in response, back and forth, attempting to get more. I could feel the tension building in my core, my toes tingled, my body on fire. Oh, my God. Ryan was about to give my first orgasm, not achieved by masturbating.

“Mmm, Ryan, please,” I begged, trembling beneath him. One more thrust of his fingers and my cry bounced off the walls. My orgasm rushed through me with such intensity I was robbed of breath. His name spilled from my lips over and over until I descended back to earth.

“Make love to me, Ryan, right here, right now.”

My eyes flickered open and my pleasure quickly dissipated. Instead of the adoring look I wanted to see, he stared at me with alarm. His hand was still down my pants, and I was topless, so my discomfort grew. Could things be any more awkward?

“Ryan, are you o—”

“What the hell am I doing?” He jumped up as if burned and backed away.

Embarrassment nearly swallowed me whole. My face burned as I searched for my top. It was just my luck that I couldn’t find it. I glanced up to see Ryan holding it.

“Here just... put it on.” My humiliation knew no bound. I grabbed it from him and did as he wished. “Lucy, I’m so sorry.”

I couldn’t respond. Moments away from having all my dreams come true only for them to be shattered.

“I didn’t come here for that, I swear. I shouldn’t have touched you. You’re not... I don’t know what came over me. I should go.”

He backed to the door as if I had a contagious disease. Fighting back tears of shame, I was silent until the door slammed shut.