Thomas was right behind Cheri as she gathered her things the next morning. Truthfully, she was glad he was there, because entering the house by herself made her nervous. Still, she pretended like she didn’t want him hovering. “I don’t need a shadow,” she spouted off.
“I got what you need,” he replied with a bite.
She kept her mouth shut so she didn’t do any more damage than was already done between them. She randomly threw stuff in a bag, unable to focus on the task at hand, hating what was happening between the two of them
Meanwhile Thomas did the same, struggling to mute his cursing as he veered off from her to go inspect the contractor’s shoddy work.
As soon as she was packed, they loaded up to go to the Four Seasons. It was evident they weren’t heading there for any sort of honeymoon. Despite their recent break, they both seemed to need another one, and yet she didn’t want to share a hotel room with him. She’d had enough of him for one night, and she was looking forward to some much-needed alone time to clear her head.
True to form, though, Thomas wouldn’t take the hint. In Thomas style, he was by her side as she checked in, and he insisted on seeing her to her room, as if she needed a bodyguard.
“I’m fine,” she assured him.
“I know you are,” he said with such seriousness. “I want to talk to you.”
Cheri quaked inside. Is this it? She feared that somewhere between showing up to his place unannounced, mistrusting him, on top of the arguing, she had crossed his line in the sand. He had the look of a battered man, and he was fed up. The anger she’d been feeling because of the house had been directed at him. Now she felt like an idiot. What had she done? Why did she have to be so miserable and bitchy all the time?
He set her bag down, then sat her down on the corner of her super-king-sized bed. He pulled the chair over from the desk, sat down, and began, “First, I’m sorry I left without explaining myself. I see now that it really screwed with your head, and I apologize.”
His tone seemed to harbor a lot of implied emotion, but it still wasn’t a good enough excuse for Cheri. “Go on,” she said, feeling she deserved to know far more and scared of what he was going to say.
“I told you about my father briefly once before. Our relationship was rocky at best,” he said, releasing a heavy sigh. “I got a call right after I dropped you off at work that morning. Dad had a stroke.”
Cheri wilted. Of all the possible reasons she had concocted in her worried head as to why he had done a disappearing act, that wasn’t even one of the scenarios she’d played out in her mind. Every one she thought of involved her somehow, and all along, she’d allowed herself to doubt he cared about her, to worry that he had moved on, that he’d found someone more attractive than her. “What happened?” she asked quietly, angry with herself for not giving Thomas the benefit of the doubt.
“Just one of those things,” he replied. “High blood pressure runs in the family. I’ve been scrambling to care for him, trying to deal with my guilt over our, uh…issues. I can’t help worrying he might die before I tie up the loose ends, say all that needs to be said. Plus, even if I do get a chance to communicate all that to him, will he even understand me?” he said and hung his head.
Cheri was instantly consumed with guilt and remorse. He hadn’t been able to take a break at all, because the very second he pulled up to his house, she was standing there, and he’d been in knight-in-shining-armor mode ever since. She tried to touch his arm, but he pulled away.
“I don’t do tenderness very well, or at least that’s what I tell myself. I operate better as a loner. I like the company of women, but I guess you learned that the hard way,” he said.
She wrinkled her brow in confusion and bit her lip. Is he about to make a confession, explaining himself, or just about to say goodbye? Whatever he was up to, there didn’t seem to be any good feelings between them now. Terror twisted her gut as she came to the realization that he may have very well sought comfort with someone other than her. “You didn’t, uh… go meet some girl…” she heard herself ask lamely.
“No, Cheri, I didn’t.” He took her hand reassuringly. “I just dropped out for a while, to focus on my dad. I know I cut you off when you needed me most, and—”
“No,” said Cheri plainly. “If I had never met you, I would’ve had to find my way. You’re not my caretaker, Thomas. That’s not your role. I appreciate everything you do for me. I just… need you in other ways.”
“I like doing it,” he said. “I just need some space right now. Clear my head. Clear the past. All the crap.”
Cheri was crushed. His words hurt as much as any confession would. She felt like she was being kicked to the curb, and she wasn’t ready for that. She scooted back on the bed some, as if pushed back by the force of what he had said, then gave him a nod, as if she understood.
“That came out wrong,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded. I do need space, but I also need you. I just need some time alone, to figure all this out. Can you be patient with me, Cheri?”
“Yes,” she answered plainly again, but she certainly didn’t mean it. She was suddenly very needy, feeling clingier than ever before, but she didn’t want to admit it to him.
“I asked my cousin to house-sit while I was gone. I should have asked you, and I don’t know why I didn’t, but I guess I’ve just been trying to be with family during this time. Like I said, I just fell back into what I know. There was no time to do things differently,” he said. “I should have clued you in from the start. I—”
“It’s fine, Thomas,” she replied numbly. “I freaked out when I shouldn’t have, assumed the worst when I didn’t know what was really going on. I do that a lot. Yes, it hurts to hear you say you need time and space. I can’t tell you that it doesn’t. I wish I could be more mature or… I don’t know what I need to be, but what you said makes perfect sense. Go do what you need to do. Take as much time as you need. I have a lot to keep me busy.”
“Thanks for understanding,” he said, then stood up and looked around awkwardly. “I guess I’ll take off then. Just remember that your wannabe contractor’s gonna pay for everything, whether Tight-Ass Home Repairs likes it or not.”
“But I already gave him that check,” she argued.
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll get it back if I have to squeeze every last penny out of him.”
It was the last thing he said before he left her without even so much as a kiss goodbye. In fact, in the one instance of physical contact, he pulled away, and Cheri found herself doing the same.