CHAPTER TEN
I'd barely made it through the door of my apartment before I dialed Ti.
"How was the trip? Thanks for calling to let me know that you made it there, by the way."
"Sorry," I offered, sidestepping the snark in her tone. "I'll make it up to you. Want to come over?"
"What? Are you serious? You're inviting me to Palace Royale? What have I done to deserve such a treat? Surely, it can't all be because you forgot a single phone call."
I rolled my eyes, even though she wasn't wrong. I almost never had Ti over after she'd found her own place. We were fire and ice. I'd housed her for nearly a month when she first moved to New York, and each night I contemplated dragging her out into the street by her hair. I was meticulous, neat and organized. But Ti lived whatever way the wind blew her. I envied her for that wild, free-spirit but it wasn't something I could actually live with in my house, dirtying up my cabinets and leaving used dishes in the sink.
"Do you want to come over or not?" I huffed.
"Of course." Ti paused and I would've sworn I could actually hear the wheels in her head turning. "El, what's going on? Are you okay?"
I shook my head and a sob stuck in my throat. I'd been barely holding it together since I left the airport. "No." I sucked in a shaky breath. "Could you just come and stay the night?"
"Yes, honey, just...I'm leaving now, okay. I'll be there in an hour."
"Okay," I hiccuped, the tears free-flowing down my cheeks. I'd never been much of a crier but tonight, my tear ducts were raging.
"I love you, El."
I sniffed, wiping my face with the backs of my hands. "I love you, too."
*~*~*
It took me an hour after Ti arrived to be able to talk. I walked her through my situation only needing to stop twice to fall into a crying fit.
"I don't know what's wrong with me." I took a tissue that Ti handed me and dabbed at my eyes.
"Girl," Ti drawled, dragging out the word. "I think you may have fallen."
I pursed my lips. "Yeah, fallen face first into stupid. I never should have slept with him."
Ti shook her head, Senegalese twists bouncing with the motion. "Nah, I think it's the other fall. Fallen in..."
I held up my hand to stop her. "Don't even go there. He had major dick game and ate the kitty like a pro, that's it." I let out a breath. "He just got in my head is all."
Ti wagged her finger. "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt."
I ground my teeth. "Alright. I'm going to bed. Thanks for all the help."
"Wait, wait, wait." Ti waved her hand at me as I climbed off the sofa. "Okay, real talk. Maybe, you're not in love with him. But honey, you've been doing the lone ranger dance for a really long time. Letting him in, even if just for a couple of days...El, that's big for you. It's okay that it's got you a little fucked up."
My shoulders relaxed. "Thanks." I smiled at her. It took her a while, but Ti always had the right answers. "I made up the guest room for you. Try not to break anything, or leave a mess—"
"Or breathe too hard?"
I flicked her off on my way to my bedroom.
I plopped down across my bed without taking my usual nightly preparations. Everything still felt like it was falling apart and I still didn't feel like myself. But the plus side to hours of bawling was that I was exhausted. As soon as I closed my eyes, I drifted off to dreamland.
*~*~*
I woke up before my alarm and climbed out of bed. I was going to need the extra time because my hair was a mess. It definitely needed a little attention after the last few days of neglect.
I took my time getting dressed, trying to focus on each movement, and not on how I was supposed to survive a day at the office after Arieon.
By the time I slipped on my heels, my alarm was sounding. I moved to cut it off and headed out of my room to a very not surprising mess. Lights were on, cabinets were open, clothes were scattered over the couch.
Was Ti even awake? How had she managed to scatter clothes before getting dressed? I sighed as I moved around the living room and kitchen picking up after her.
"Good morning," Ti pranced out of the guest room in her underwear.
"Good morning," I said flatly. "A bra wouldn't kill you, you know."
She shrugged as she moved to the kitchen and took a bag of chips from the pantry. I bit my tongue as she opened them, munching and spreading crumbs everywhere.
"How are you feeling?" she asked between bites.
I nodded. "I'm good. It's going to be a weird day but I'll manage."
"Mhmm." Ti eyed me. "You sure?"
I shrugged. "I think so...But if you wanted to stay maybe a few more days, I could use the company." I hated that suddenly I couldn't seem to be alone. Particularly, since a few more days with Ti meant cleaning up after her.
"Hell yeah. I'm not exactly dying to get back to South Queens."
"Great." I grabbed my keys from the counter and headed for the door. "Also, try using a plate," I added over my shoulder.
"Then, you'd bitch about me washing it."
I closed the door, refusing to respond. I'd lost Arieon, I couldn't afford to lose Ti too, no matter how messy she was.
My stomach knotted on the drive to work and by the time I parked in the garage, my entire body was trembling. I couldn't even look at the elevator as I scurried across the lobby, making a quick path for the stairs. I barely even notice how tired I was after climbing them until I ran smack into Elion.
"Elion?" I panted, working to catch my breath. "What are doing here?"
Elion smiled at me. "Well, I do still own the place. I didn't expect I'd have to explain myself when visiting."
"Right, of course." I nodded. Of all the days to be having my pity party. As much time as I'd taken getting dressed, I looked far from professional. My face was unmade, my hair was in a lazy up-do and an all-around sadness hung in the air around me.
"I'm kidding, Ellen. I came to see you." He clapped a hand on my shoulder and some of my tension eased. "Arieon and I wanted to talk with you."
And just like that, I tensed back up as Arieon moved from behind him. The sight of him shredded me and I bit down on my lip to keep it from trembling.
"Ms. Carp." Arieon nodded toward me, his eyes avoiding mine.
"Mr. Banks." It felt weird to say. I'd never even called Elion Mr. Banks, but calling him Arieon felt too familiar. I was too afraid of what his name on my lips might trigger.
"Come, let's speak in my office." Elion held up a finger and wagged it. "Nope. Sorry, your office." He gestured at Arieon, who didn't seem to be paying attention. He seemed almost as out of it as I felt.
Elion led us down the hallway to his office and I kept my distance, making sure to keep as much space between myself and Arieon as possible.
Elion rambled on about something, but I couldn't focus on it. I couldn't even remember if I'd asked him how retirement was going. My body was moving on instinct with no help from my brain.
"Have a seat," Elion said as we stepped into his old office.
Hesitantly, I took a seat in the chair farthest from his desk as Arieon leaned against it. His eyes were on me. I couldn't see him as I kept my eyes trained on Elion, but I could feel it. I could feel his gaze burning over my skin and it made my breath catch.
"What's going on, Elion?" I asked, hoping to speed up whatever was happening. I need to get away from Arieon. Being in the same room with him was suffocating.
"Always a straight shooter, Ellen." Elion laughed as he slipped behind his desk and settled into a large chair. "Well, see the thing is," he leaned over his desk, a wide grin on his lips as he met my eyes. "I wanted to see the look on your face when you officially made managing partner." He clapped his hands together, his eyes sparkling as he watched me, waiting for my reaction.
He frowned when I didn't move. "See, that wasn't the look I'd envisioned."
My eyebrows knitted together as I mulled it over. It wasn't the reaction I'd envisioned either. Elion was handing me everything I'd wanted but I couldn't take it. "Did Arieon tell you to do this?"
I surprised myself by asking the question. It was the only thought screaming in my mind but I hadn't expected that I would actually vocalize it.
I shifted my gaze to Arieon, who tensed when he met my eyes.
"Well, we talked it over but ultimately—"
I climbed abruptly to my feet, cutting him off. It was all I needed to hear. Everything I wanted, everything I'd worked for had been tainted. I deserved it and I couldn't accept it, and for that I hated Arieon. I hated him as much as I needed him.
My eyes burned and I blinked back tears. I'd always sworn to myself, I'd never be that girl. Never be the poor, pathetic princess that cried in the workplace. I sucked in a breath, willing them away before they made a path down my cheeks.
"Mr. Banks." For the second time, the words fell unnaturally from my lips. "I don't..." My voice broke and I took a minute to regain myself. Arieon and Elion watched me intensely and I refused to let either of them see me break. "I can't work here anymore. I'll turn in an official letter of resignation as soon as possible."
"Excuse me?" Elion's eyebrows nearly shot up into his hair and he climbed to his feet.
"Ellen." Arieon straightened and moved toward me, triggering my flight instinct.
I turned on my heels and barreled out of his office. I nearly killed myself as I sped down the stairs, sniffling and wiping at tears that I hadn't let fall yet. I just needed to make it to my car. That's all. Just to the safety of my car.
"Ellen!"
I could hear Arieon on my heels, moving quickly after me, and it only made me move faster. I would run him over with my car if I had to, but I refused to stop for him. I didn't want to speak to him, or see him, or be anywhere near him.
"Ellen, please."
I ignored him, jumping into my car and whipping out of the garage fast enough that my tires squealed across the ground.
I'd barely made it to the second stoplight before the tears came. Sobs spilled from my throat and I let myself cry against the steering wheel. How had I ended up there? How had I gone from an ambitious powerhouse, to the woman sobbing in her car?
I sat up as the light turned green and tried to compose myself. I already knew the answer and it made anger and hopelessness flare in my chest.
Arieon Banks. That's how.